Not interested in sex since the dx?
I was diagnosed on February 23 and since then I am not interested in sex. I haven't started chemo yet. I was interested before. It's like I am almost disconnected from my body. Has anyone else noticed this with themselves? I don't want to lose my relationship over this. I also want to have a good time before chemo.
Comments
-
I guess I'm the only one.
-
It's not uncommon. There are several threads dealing with this topic. I will try to "bump" one to the top for you. Hang in there.
Sue
-
I am bumping the "mojo" thread to the top for you. It is filled with suggestions. Good luck.
-
Cyborg, sorry you didn't get many responses. Sex was the last thing on my mind right after diagnosis. I was too stressed in those weeks prior to my surgery as well to be in the mood. I just couldn't.
-
The forum has been acting up a lot lately. I couldn't read hardly any threads yesterday.
Didn't have lot of interest in sex, occassionally but not very often.
It's probably my meds now, but still don't have alot of interest. NJ
-
I didn't either. It was like my breasts were something evil, not sexual. Yet I will say we finally had a last hurrah the night before my BMX. I had taken a Valium (and was relaxed and we had a nice night of it. I have two young kids, 3 and 1 and we still don't have much of a sex life. I don't want it like I used to. It's almost like when I lost my breasts, I lost some of my sex drive? But we are both tired from the kids and life and we end up asleep. I think this is just a phase in life for us.
But back to your question! Sorry for the rambling! I think it is normal, your mind is all over the place- sex isn't a priority. Try taking a weekend away before chemo and make time for yourselves. A change can make all the difference, a nice dinner etc. Pack something sexy and see what happens.
Good luck to you and don't worry too much about it.
-
You're not alone in this. I don't find myself attractive anymore after I had radical MX. The pink scar is a constant reminder of what I'm going through. A month after my MX I started chemo. I don't kow why more people didn't write but I feel like you do. I think with time we'll be more relaxed and start to enjoy life again. We're fighting for our life now. You need an understanding partner that will be there for you through the ups and downs. It's not easy on our partners as well. Good luck to you. Things will get easier.
-
Thanks, ladies. I am going to start chemo and I think I need to get it on NOW! No pressure-- haha.
-
Hey kids! I just did it!!!!! I think I was scared to do it. The best part is the cuddling and the connection. Yay !
-
YEAH CYBORG da dida da da zippity do dah. A moment of sanity
-
Hi Cyborg, I feel the same like you do. I finished my treatments (Chemo, radiation) 7 months ago,
and all these things have really ruined my sex life. I just dont feel like doing it. i know this is bad.
luckily i have a very understanding husband.
best wishes to you
*hugs*
-
Yeah- I have to agree - my heart wants it, think I should...my body just doesn't feel that way. Felt wonderful the few times we have since DX back in Nov. But I just haven;t been up to par. I think BC just added that much more stress to my poor little brain.
Although I must admit, I am thinking about it a lot more these days= may be just part of the healing.Hubby has been great, lonely, but understanding.
-
Very happy for you. That is a topic of concern for me. I'm very afraid of not being intimate with my husband, I don't want to lose that feeling of closeness with him. He says that this weekend we will for sure and I'm worried that my scars and lop sided breast are going to hinder everything. Not to mention everything that is going on and I'm completely terrified that after I lose my hair we will stop altogether.
-
mccrimmon32
Hope it goes well for you. I managed through chemo reasonably well. Sometimes I wore a beanie but not always. Quite often I wore a camisole top. I found that really helped. I wasn't denying what had happened to my body I just didn't want to look at it right then. If you can, why not wear a bra. That way your chest is covered and off limits until you feel more comfortable.
Also, it might be a good idea to have plan b and c. If this works great. If it doesn't let's do this...
I have found that a nice gentle touch over my chest (not sexual) and torso is a good plan b - it stops me feeling so upset if things don't work out. It takes the stress out of everything having to work properly if you have a fall back option that you are both happy with. Cuddles and touching might not be the full works that you're used to but they go a long way towards feeling connected and keeping the door open for more action.
You can probably tell from this that I've had a fair few problems since starting hormonal therapy. I'm still working on it though.
-
Yes. It's weird being so separated from my body. Some kind of weird dissociation. I just kind of have to just start the intimate behAviors and then in the middle I kind of get into it. Happy afterward.
Categories
- All Categories
- 679 Advocacy and Fund-Raising
- 289 Advocacy
- 68 I've Donated to Breastcancer.org in honor of....
- Test
- 322 Walks, Runs and Fundraising Events for Breastcancer.org
- 5.6K Community Connections
- 282 Middle Age 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 53 Australians and New Zealanders Affected by Breast Cancer
- 208 Black Women or Men With Breast Cancer
- 684 Canadians Affected by Breast Cancer
- 1.5K Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
- 455 Caring for Someone with Stage IV or Mets
- 260 High Risk of Recurrence or Second Breast Cancer
- 22 International, Non-English Speakers With Breast Cancer
- 16 Latinas/Hispanics With Breast Cancer
- 189 LGBTQA+ With Breast Cancer
- 152 May Their Memory Live On
- 85 Member Matchup & Virtual Support Meetups
- 375 Members by Location
- 291 Older Than 60 Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 177 Singles With Breast Cancer
- 869 Young With Breast Cancer
- 50.4K Connecting With Others Who Have a Similar Diagnosis
- 204 Breast Cancer with Another Diagnosis or Comorbidity
- 4K DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)
- 79 DCIS plus HER2-positive Microinvasion
- 529 Genetic Testing
- 2.2K HER2+ (Positive) Breast Cancer
- 1.5K IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer)
- 3.4K IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)
- 1.5K ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma)
- 999 Just Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastasis
- 652 LCIS (Lobular Carcinoma In Situ)
- 193 Less Common Types of Breast Cancer
- 252 Male Breast Cancer
- 86 Mixed Type Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned
- 189 Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care
- 488 Second or Third Breast Cancer
- 1.2K Stage I Breast Cancer
- 313 Stage II Breast Cancer
- 3.8K Stage III Breast Cancer
- 2.5K Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
- 13.1K Day-to-Day Matters
- 132 All things COVID-19 or coronavirus
- 87 BCO Free-Cycle: Give or Trade Items Related to Breast Cancer
- 5.9K Clinical Trials, Research News, Podcasts, and Study Results
- 86 Coping with Holidays, Special Days and Anniversaries
- 828 Employment, Insurance, and Other Financial Issues
- 101 Family and Family Planning Matters
- Family Issues for Those Who Have Breast Cancer
- 26 Furry friends
- 1.8K Humor and Games
- 1.6K Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts
- 706 Recipe Swap for Healthy Living
- 704 Recommend Your Resources
- 171 Sex & Relationship Matters
- 9 The Political Corner
- 874 Working on Your Fitness
- 4.5K Moving On & Finding Inspiration After Breast Cancer
- 394 Bonded by Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Life After Breast Cancer
- 806 Prayers and Spiritual Support
- 285 Who or What Inspires You?
- 28.7K Not Diagnosed But Concerned
- 1K Benign Breast Conditions
- 2.3K High Risk for Breast Cancer
- 18K Not Diagnosed But Worried
- 7.4K Waiting for Test Results
- 603 Site News and Announcements
- 560 Comments, Suggestions, Feature Requests
- 39 Mod Announcements, Breastcancer.org News, Blog Entries, Podcasts
- 4 Survey, Interview and Participant Requests: Need your Help!
- 61.9K Tests, Treatments & Side Effects
- 586 Alternative Medicine
- 255 Bone Health and Bone Loss
- 11.4K Breast Reconstruction
- 7.9K Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 2.7K Complementary and Holistic Medicine and Treatment
- 775 Diagnosed and Waiting for Test Results
- 7.8K Hormonal Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 50 Immunotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 7.4K Just Diagnosed
- 1.4K Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy
- 5.2K Lymphedema
- 3.6K Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment
- 591 Pain
- 3.9K Radiation Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 8.4K Surgery - Before, During, and After
- 109 Welcome to Breastcancer.org
- 98 Acknowledging and honoring our Community
- 11 Info & Resources for New Patients & Members From the Team