March 2011 Rads

Thanks everyone. I slept LATE today. It feels strange to have nothing to do! Of course, as soon as I feel better, I'll have plenty to do--so no worries there.



Yesterday, the nurse gave me my follow up appointment with my MO. Only it's NOT my MO. Apparently she has left the hospital where I saw her (the one near my house) and now I'm supposed to see a new guy. I don't like this at all! I'm thinking I might just travel to where ever my old MO is. I don't know why I care so much, but I feel like--what the heck, does EVERY doctor in the state have to see my boobs?!

Hi Friends,

It is just wonderful to hear everyone's "graduation" stories!   I did pretty good during treatments, but the last 1 1/2 weeks since I've finished have been exhausting.  I think it finally caught up with me....my RO told me it would feel like running out of steam at the end of the day and that's a great description of it.   Every day is getting a bit easier, though.

My crispy skin is starting get better, too.  Hurray!

I wish we could all go with Ginger to St.Croix!!!  Enjoy the sunshine--you deserve it!

http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/78/topic/696015?page=430#idx_12888

shelbytroy12:  the above link is called Bottle O Tamoxifen.  There's a lot of information on there, but it's been "hijacked" with a lot of social stuff.  The women there are very unified and welcoming.  The information is spread out over the pages, but the antics of the women are fun to read on your scan through.  They've all had varying experiences, so I'm sure you could get what you needed if you asked any questions. 

I have a confession to make:  I believed yesterday was my follow up with MO.  Grabbed my beau on the way to the appointment, got there early, only to find that my appointment was MONDAY.  I was a day late!  I wrote it on the calendar wrong...and haven't been paying attention to all the cards and sheets of paper I get.  I can't even believe it.  I teared up at the counter, and the woman was very accommodating and said "You wouldn't believe how often this happens, you just have too much on your mind"  And I thought, why didn't someone call me to confirm it?  I was embarrassed and frustrated.  My beau, the stoic confidante, and ferocious protector, got angry when another receptionist (not the one who was so patiently assisting me), who talks really loud while cutting an apple and eating at her desk, kind of made my embarrassment unbearable.  I told him that I was trying to ignore her, and he said "How could you? I was twenty feet away and I couldn't ignore her"  And then he went on to say, things like how could a woman like that have a job in a place like this and you can't even get an interview"  I love my man!  I only blubbered a little in the car after that.  I'm almost three weeks out, and I never miss appointments, and yet in the past week I've missed one appointment and confused weekends, and couldn't even remember the day of the week.  I know it's due in part to not being employed, but is this Rads Brain or my Cancer Crazy taking over? I really feel like I've lost part of myself through this process.  My beau said as I was blubbering "Maybe you were superwoman before and now you just have to live like the rest of us"  As sweet as he was, I wasn't superwoman before, and now, I just feel below average...Anyone else making these kinds of mistakes, or is it just me?

Girlfriday - thank you for that link. I need to check it out.

I'm sorry you had such a bad day yesterday, but honey, it is NOT just you. I swear I am losing my mind! And most of it has started in the last month or so. . . 

I usually send my hubby out for last minute shopping in the middle of the night. A few weeks ago I decided to go. We needed milk. That's all. Just milk. While I was there, I picked up a few other things, including cereal. Got home. My husband was unpacking the groceries, he said, "Where's the milk?" Seriously?! I had forgotten all about the milk. And not just forgotten for a bit, but totally and completely forgotten about it - until my hubby asked. 

Last Saturday night I marinated a pot roast. Turned it a few times and planned on putting it in the crock pot early Sunday morning. I got up Sunday morning and pondered all morning about what to cook. As I was looking in my fridge, thinking about pulling out some chicken to thaw, I saw the pot roast. Now why in the HELL didn't I remember the pot roast all that morning?? 

There's other stories I could tell you. I laugh, but sometimes I wanna cry. The thought of going back to work in a high pressure situation scares me. I didn't do this during chemo or ever before in my life. This isn't the normal "forgot it for a little while, but remembered quickly" stuff. This is I completely don't remember until someone reminds me or I see whatever I forgot. 

I asked my onc about it and he just nodded and said, yeah, a lot of people say that have it but it's probably just stress, make lists. Grrrrr. 

Heavenschild: Thanks for sharing that Erma Bombeck story with me. It really made me feel better. She was a funny lady, wasn't she?

I don't have Alzheimer's disease I have Sometimer's disease.  Sometimes I remember, sometimes I forget!  I have learned that I have to be good to myself and just admit to people that I don't have a brain anymore (God, I miss it!)  The usually just laugh and appreciate my being candid.  It is wonderful to hear about supportive husbands that actually go to doctor appt's, wow!

 Told R/O that my car won't come that way anymore, so instead of having to see her every week for six weeks, I got an appointment six weeks out.  I'm free!

 Gentle hugs to all! 

I'm jumping in here too! I'm a complete idiot these days!!! My boys just laugh and say "Your chemo brain is so funny!" Don't know how long I can claim chemo brain.

Saw my RO yesterday and she said I'm doing great!  She also gave me the good news that I won't have to return to see her until December when my annual Mammo is due!   I'm hoping to be able to arrange the same schedule with my MO since I should be able to get my blood test and bone scan done locally and it'd save me over $1000 in air fare!  Yay! 

Heading back home today!  My bags are packed and I'm ready to leave for the airport!  I've a long day of flying ahead of me but it will be great to be back!  

Complained about joint stiffness and the nurse at the RO's office said it was not due to radiation.  Didn't have it before, though...

 Went to the kitchen four times yesterday to get pain meds, by the time I got there I forgot what I went there for!  Finally took an Aleve at 6:00 p.m.  Foggy brain good for something, after all!

marjire- i have a BIG forgetfulness story- bound to make you laugh! So i go to the laundry mat to do my wash and load everything into the mahines add the money and go sit in the car with my son whos sleeping and my husband who was watching him, i go to check the machines and realsied i forgot to push "start" on the big machine (FORGOT THING#1) press start and go back out to the car, then i load the clothes into the dryer- no problem. Then i am folding all the clothes as they come out of the dryer and i notice that my baskets are a little empty compared to how i brought them... check all the dryers and lo and behold a load of towles! (forgot thing # 2) Fold those up and get home. Nothing beats putting fresh linen on the bed so i am looking through the baskets for my bed pad (its like a thick sheet that goes under my sheets) I realised that i NEVER put the load of whites into the dryer! (major forgot thing #3) BTW the laundry mat is in another town 15 minutes away! SO i had to load my son up into the car and rush over there before someone takes out my clothes LOL they were there just waiting for me LOL had to throw them into the dryer, wait and then head home! So in a matter of an hour i forgot 3 major things!

Marjie did you get a tatoo? (i think it was you that posted you were gonna get one) If so post a pic!

Congrats to those who have finished rads this week!

Do we still have anyone getting them? or have we all finished?

Back home in St. Croix and I'm busy catching up on mail etc.  Gonna see if my local pharmacy can give me a better price than my mail order one on my 3 months Femara (or generic) prescription because I want to get going on the next step on this journey.  I also have to stop by the lab to see if they can handle my blood tests so I can save a trip to Birmingham to see my MO in July.  Fingers crossed on that! 

My RO cautioned me on getting sun on the area that'd been radiated.  She told me to slather and then re-slather the suntan lotion on it and not to be surprised if it tans darker than the rest of my skin.  Ok.. guess it will be a constant reminder, eh?  Better that then the cancer coming back! 

Looking forward to resuming my "so called normal" life again!

GirlFriday, you should also be a writer...you are very inspiring and many of us looked forward to your posts, your humor, and your compassion.  I may be heading to Kennebunk or Kennebunk Port before OOB, especially with the weather we are having!!  Girls weekend in Saco coming up also, hope I don't have to go to a training that day...ugh!

 Feeling pretty darn good and lucky today, no bad thoughts about cancer coming back etc...just glad I have a chance to move forward...hope this feeling lasts.

 Have a wonderful weekend all.  One week out and today it really feels like a lifetime ago, you can do this, you will get to the end.

Finally feels like spring!!