Starting Chemo Aug 09
Comments
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Ah, Jenn, I was really hoping you wouldn't have to do anything harder than the xeloda. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through all this. I don't know anything about gezmar, but I had the carboplatin with my TCH combo. I think that is a hair-loser one, isn't it? I hope I'm wrong. . .I don't want you to have to lose all your curls that you've been loving!
Ladies, I'm putting a team together with my cousin (a Hodgkin's survivor) to do the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life Walk in May. I don't know much about it except that it is an overnighter. Has anyone ever done this before? What can I expect? We both have kids and plan on bringing a tent for them to sleep in. Also, we are trying to come up with a team name--we really want it to be a good one since we've both battled cancer. Any ideas???
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Penny - you should never feel bad about a rant, especially here. I talked to a friend on the phone last night and she has been under stress related to work and her mom who is ill. After ranting on the phone, she started to cry telling me that her problems are so minor compared to mine and she felt terrible for telling me her issues. I reassured her that while I do have a "big" thing to deal with, it dosen't minimize what she is going through. Her issues are important and hard to deal with, she too needs a little TLC. So..........what I'm saying is that we all have good and bad days and just because of where I am on the cancer journey, doesn't make your pain and frustration any less.
Donna - Yes, you read correctly. It isn't that the Xeloda wasn't working - he wanted new baseline scans to compare with after 9 weeks on Xeloda. However, when he did the new set, there was an enormous amount of progression, so he didn't want to wait 9 weeks with just one chemo. We talked about various combinations, incl. Xeloda w/Taxotere, but decided on Gemzar/Carbo because it will let me keep my hair a little longer, although it may thin a little.
Weety - I don't have experience with that particular run, but will send you lots of happy, fun vibes. As for a team name - I'm really not very creative, but if I think of something I'll let you know. You could also post a new thread under Moving Beyond, Friendships,etc asking for ideas on a team name - there are a lot of ladies on these boards with very creative minds.
Lilah/Gill and all of you - thank you for the support!!!
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Jenn -- that is great and I will pray for you that the changes in treatment work to reverse the progression of your cancer. I hate BC! I am pretty sure the devil that takes the hair is Adriamyacin. So glad to hear that the combo you will be doing is going to be easy on your curls.
Weety -- ugh I am usually really helpful with naming things but at the moment I'm very tired and running out the door so I simply can't think! I will think on it... but I Jenn's suggestion is (as usual) a great one!
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Jenn - I'm so sorry to hear you'll be doing extra chemo but agree with others that getting agressive is the best thing. I'm glad you get to keep your pretty curls (which we've never seen on your Avatar!). I cringed when I saw Taxotere on your list of potential chemos, remembering how bad your nueropathy was on Taxol. That said, however, my mother is still NED nine years after Taxotere for liver mets. Praying that Gemzar/Carbo have the same result for you!
Lilah - What's with the star cookies? So pretty...and tasty looking.
Loves - I can't top Jenn's advice...it is perfect. I don't recall how old your mother is but treatment for older women is often less aggressive that than for younger ones. And as long as your mom is being monitored, I think she's under good care. Relax, enjoy and forget about BC for a while!
Patty
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I had my first Gemzar/Carboplatin today. I won't get my port in until tomorrow so I had to do chemo without a port. Yuck. The Gemzar really stung. I wouldn't want to do chemo without a port, after having it done both ways. So far the only thing I feel right now is a terrible headache coming on, for which I will need to treat. I guess I'll hit it with some Excedrin. The pain medicine I'm taking has Tylenol in it and the meds for my arthritis has ibuprofen of some sort in it. With the chemo I also got Aloxi and Decadron. I'm thinking the headache may be from the nasty, evil Decadron.
We had a wonderful day yesterday. Both sides of our families and then some came for Easter. We had a full house, plus overflow. Thank goodness for patios........ I bought water guns for all of the kids and had buckets of water out for them to refill with. In addition to the Easter Egg hunt they chased each other around all day with water guns - outside of course. It was a good day. I was very worn out, but it was well worth the fun. And.........guess what???? My cousin took a picture of us and I'm going to try to see if I can get it up as my avatar later this week. Wish me luck.
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Jenn -- can't wait to see that picture!!! Drink lots of water with the chemo... my Onc had me do that and I'm convinced it helped me with the SEs.
Patty -- the star cookies are cookies I baked for the holidays (Christmas)... which took me three freaking days! I am not a baker. I was really starting to hate that picture I had up so I just grabbed something in my folder that was innocuous until I could figure out what picture to put up next. Am thinking it's time for a picture of my beloved dog
Stay tuned. Weety -- did you guys come up with a name for your group yet? I've been trying to think and I need more from you besides that you both had cancer -- that gets you: Warrior ideas... but I'm thinking there might be something else you have in common (Fighting Irish if you're Irish, say) or We Are The Champions (if you are fans of the rock band Queen) -- ha! You see my point. Cousins for Life might be nice (since you are cousins). These all are not great but the key will be something else you share besides being Cousins and Cancer Survivors.
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I'm not too imaginative--I ended up just calling us the Cancer Butt-Kickers. Special and unique? NO! Oh well. It will work.
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Weety - the name sounds good and to the point.
Lilah - the cookies you did look wonderful. What kind of dog to you have?
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Well I hope you all had a Happy Easter. I made dinner and it was ham with baked sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, broiled asparagus with garlic and oil, baked beans (moms special) stuffing with gravey and muffins. For desert we had a six layer cake with strawberries and blue berries inbetween each layer with cool whip as a icing. YUM.. We had 8 people at the table this year and we had the best time in a long time. I have taken all the good advise from all you lovely ladies. I have relaxed alot and allowing the doctors to do thier job. We did get a pen and circle moms new lump and this way we can tell if it grows or not. Its not always easy but I'm going to try to not let cancer rule our lives and always be so worried about when and if it ever comes back. Its time to start living again. I dont always understand how you all keep pushing forward but I do honor you all. Mom is suppose to see her onco this friday to see how she made out with the breast surgon. I dont believe he will be very happy that we are going to wait and see how things go. But I will tell him what the BS told us. "If he has questions he can give me a call".. Mom did tell me she questions her decision to agree with the BS about waiting 3 months or to call if it starts to grow. I have told her what you all have said to me. "You are being watched carefully and if anything changes they will be on top of it". I just hope they are sure of the approach they are doing with this and it dosent come back to be a bad decision. I have also just learned that one of my mothers dear friend is going for a biospy due to she has found a lump in her breast. She is a snow bird and is in florida now but should be comming back up to NY soon. I just hope and pray that its nothing, but if it is we will be there for her and help her get through what ever lies ahead.
Again-- Thank you all for your support and prayers. You are all in my prayers everynite as I lay quiet and ask for peace and health for each of you.
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Jenn -- see new picture! That's me and my dog (an American Eskimo who totally manipulates me every chance she gets) from a few years ago (so: that's my old hair LOL).
Weety -- I love it! Straight and to the point
Penny -- that Easter dinner sounds so YUMMY! We just had a quiet day at home (we don't celebrate Easter) but it was absolutely beautiful weather so we enjoyed it. Glad you are chilling out. Your mom can always change her mind if she feels uncomfortable prior to 3 mos (or if the onc insists on a different approach).
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Lilah- love the new avatar!
Jenn- I hope the port installation went good...I too had to do my first TAC without port!
Penny- That dinner sounds so yummy, we did absolutely nothing for Easter, not even a good dinner!
I'm a ball of nerves today because I go to the onc. tomorrow for my mammo results, trying to keep distracted! I put a new avatar on with more hair, I swear my hair is growing out (bushy) but not very long! {{{HUGS}}} Donna
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Love the hair Donna! Your face looks thinner too!
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Lilah - I love the picture of you and your dog. She looks so sweet and easy to spoil.
Donna - (((hugs))) hoping to help you through scaniexty. Your hair looks great in your avatar.
Penny - Your dinner sounds wonderful, as does the day that you had with family and friends.
The port installation didn't go so well. For whatever reason the "happy" drugs did not work so well and I felt most of what they did. Then.........I woke up the next day vomiting and in so much pain, I was hysterical. Oh.........and 102 fever. Not a good day. I had to go into the office for cultues of the port area, of the blood, have blood drawn and the Neupogen shot. Today, I'm very tired, but on the mend. Looking forward to feeling better tomorrow and the next day.
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Aw Jenn -- (((hugs))) that sucks! You need a break. I hope that all is well now (sounds like you WILL feel better tomorrow). I hated my port but definitely would have hated the alternative more.
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Ok Mammo benign !!!! Will do another CT chest scan in August.
I have dedicated a song to cancer, I'm sure it was not written with cancer in mind but that is exactly who I feel like I'm singing to when I sing along check it out on Youtube.com (Official Christina Perri- "Jar of Hearts") copy and paste this link!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjMJenn- I'm so sorry your port gave you a hard time, I hope you feel better today; and I thought it was bad feeling it removed, I can't imagine feeling it put in. I hope things start going your way like ASAP!
{{{HUGS}}} Donna
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Jenn - Poor baby. I hope you are feeling better by now. Did you have the flu or was it something to do with the port installation? A terrible flu is going around San Diego...a friend said he felt so awful he actually considered visiting the emergency room.
Lilah - Saw your new avatar and said to myself "how the heck did Lilah's hair get so long?" I was green with envy until I read that the pix is pre-chemo. What is your dog's name?
Donna - Love the song and I can definitely see singing it to cancer! Congrats on the clear mammo. Will we ever be able to have a test with having our hearts in our throats? Your hair is looking great. Such pretty curls!
Patty
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Patty -- I decided I might as well put up a picture that I like (screw the short hair LOL). Maybe someday it will be long like that again. I don't know. I think it is growing back a little thinner on the top of my head which really bugs me. I wish I had your curls, Donna, by the way, but mine is mostly straight (though it does have some body to it).
I got my hair cut again a few weeks ago and it is looking much healthier at least. My hair dresser gave me some layers (which gives me something of a Liza Minelli look when I don't use the product my stylist sold me to scrunch the hair into "curls" -- which anyway I sort of suck at -- when she did it, it was curlier). Ah the joys. My dog's name is Isadora. She's an American Eskimo and getting old but still has a puppy-like demeanor which is very sweet (she just sleeps more than she used to).
Jenn -- how are you doing? Hope the port isn't bothering you now that you've had some time to heal and that the chemo isn't too unbearable.
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I had my second chemo Tuesday. Everything went well. Other than extreme fatigue from my counts being so low, I'm doing okay. I put my official notice in at work and will be leaving at the end of the month. That was one of the hardest decisions I've made up until this point - I cried for 2 days. My office has been so extremely supportive and kind, but it's getting harder and harder to be there like I should and put my heart into things. It's not fair to me or to them.
Lilah - Wow! Another hair cut.........Can't wait to see the updated picture. I know, I have room to talk.......Mine will eventually make it up here.
Patty - How is it going?
Donna - So glad to hear the mammo is clear, now you can relax.
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Jenn, Glad to hear you chemo went well. Sorry that the fatigue is so hard. I'm glad to hear that your office is supportive for you. I'm sorry that you have to leave and it upsets you so, but at least you will be getting the rest you need. Hugs
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Jenn - I can appreciate how hard it is to leave your job, but now you can use the energy you have to enjoy other things in life. I recall the last time you were off work those dogs got lots of long walks! I like my work but I'm always surprised by how much I find to do when I'm not working. I'm so glad the 2nd chemo went well. Is your port working okay?
Lilah - I've been getting my hair trimmed about every 6-8 weeks when I get the color touched up. This schedule results in some pretty slow progress on the length (ha!) but, like yours, my ends are getting healthier and healthier. Seems like that initial hair that sprouted was pretty damaged from the git-go. Can't wait 'til is it totally gone!
Happy weekend everyone!
Patty
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Patty -- yeah I am definitely seeing MUCH healthier ends this time around. Hoping I won't need to keep cutting... I like the idea of having the option of growing it longer.
Jenn -- I need to do another photo but I like this current one too much! I'm sorry too about you're having to leave your job. I hope that the free time you will get will be a welcome addition to your schedule. Perhaps a little gardening? I send you hugs and good wishes for strength and energy while you are undergoing the chemo and, most of all, that the chemo kills that cancer once and for all!
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Jenn - glad chemo went well. Leaving your job is a big deal. We all - and you especially - have had to deal with so much. We're all thinking of oyu. (And you MUST put up a picture of YOU!)
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I have more energy today and have the urge to just get out and do, do, do, but am afraid that by tomorrow I'll feel it. I did go to work, came home and watered my plants, piddled around and will cook dinner later. I started dinner yesterday, by making meatballs so today I just need to put them in the sauce and simmer until done. My appetite is little to none. I crave foods, but after a few bites I feel stuffed. I find that my middle of the day meal is the best one, breakfast and dinner are hard to get down. I had been craving red beans, my homemade beans not restaurant or store prepared, the cook home cooked beans. I finally got around to cooking them this weekend - yipeeee. Without exaggeration, 5 bites in I was full. I was determined so I put my bowl on the stove and went back 2 hours later for 3 or 4 more bites. I guess they'll hit the freezer in small bags. I just can't eat in the evenings. I have lost 12 pounds in the last 2 weeks...... Under normal circumstances I'd be estatic, but I know right now it's not a good. I'll have to talk to the onc next week when we see each other.
So.......anyone get to see any movies lately? I made it to Source Code and it was a good movie. I think I'd like to see Bridesmaids - it looks silly and I love silly movies.
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Okay - got a picture from several months ago to load up. My hair is longer and highlighted now, but I finally got a picture with curls to load up.
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Jenn- Love the curls, aren't they so much easier to get ready. I just wash and put some leave in conditioner in and I'm done! I'm so glad you are feeling good, I hope you get your appetite back soon! Oh by the way I LOVE red beans and rice too, but I understand why you can't eat much of it. Hang in there...your doing good! {{{HUGS}}} D
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Jenn you look ADORABLE! And wow 12 pounds in two weeks... maybe you need to make the 5 bites you eat something high calorie? I know the feeling though... I had no appetite (or not much of one anyway) when I was on chemo (and steroids). I ate donuts. My blood sugar was great the whole time LOL. I never in my life could eat donuts and lose weight and have low blood sugar. I lost 15 pounds but over a few months (not a few weeks). And then of course because I got used to having the foods I usually avoid I gained the weight back when my appetite returned and my diet grew. So now I am back to low carb dieting. Oh well.
So happy to see your picture and delighted you are having some energy and some appetite. Maybe you will find a place of some equilibrium soon once your body adjusts to the new regimen? I hope so.
Hmmm... movies. We saw THOR this weekend (my boyfriend is a huge fan of all things comic book). The guy who plays THOR is worth the price of admission (cut and gorgeous). Natalie Portman is cute in it. It's not a deep movie but we had fun. We've also seen and enjoyed, recently, Source Code, Win Win (a thoughtful movie), and Limitless. I think we've seen a few others as well but gosh for the life of me I can't remember what else (so I guess not worth the trouble?
I just saw the coming attraction for the new Harry Potter movie (I can NOT wait) which comes out this summer. There's also a new Spielberg movie coming out that looks good (about kid film makers and, I think, aliens or maybe just some sort of government experiment gone awry). I also am intrigued by Cowboys vs Aliens (it looks amusing). Can't muster any interest, though, in Water for Elephants. I haven't seen it but I hear Rio is fun (I have a limited interest in animated movies though).
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great picture Jenn
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Jenn,
I LOVE the curls! Hope you get your appetite back.
Lane
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Jenn - Love the curls! You and Donna totally lucked out in the hair department. I'm with Lilah...if you can only tolerate five bites make sure they are filled with calories! There was a tiny little gal who got her TXs the same days I did and she lost down to under 100 lbs while on chemo. The nurses were always on her about eating high calorie things. Seems wrong, but oh how nice!
Patty
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I call it the good part of chemo: getting to eat the stuff you always had to avoid
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