OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2011
    I'm not worthy!Cry
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  • Alyson
    Alyson Member Posts: 4,308
    edited April 2011

    We could keep the puffing stuff in these!

    I get plenty of silly PMs and emails but haven't been asked for $100

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  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 626
    edited April 2011

    I didn't get the "cure for 100 bucks" email either...I have my reply all ready...as follows..

    " Dear Low Life Who Preys on the Misfortune of Others,

    I was so excited to recieve your kind offer and since I just recently came into a great deal of money from a bank transfer from Nigeria ( in which I divulged all my banking and credit card information to some unknown stranger) I'd like to order this cure for all 90,000 members of this board. If you will meet me at the Toronto airport at 4 pm tomorrow, Terminal A, I will bring a bag of cash so we can make the exchange.I'll bring a truck and contact the news media so you are sure to get the credit you deserve for finding the cure for cancer."

    Sincerely,

    Em

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  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 626
    edited April 2011

    I didn't get the "cure for 100 bucks" email either...I have my reply all ready...as follows..

    " Dear Low Life Who Preys on the Misfortune of Others,

    I was so excited to recieve your kind offer and since I just recently came into a great deal of money from a bank transfer from Nigeria ( in which I divulged all my banking and credit card information to some unknown stranger) I'd like to order this cure for all 90,000 members of this board. If you will meet me at the Toronto airport at 4 pm tomorrow, Terminal A, I will bring a bag of cash so we can make the exchange.I'll bring a truck and contact the news media so you are sure to get the credit you deserve for finding the cure for cancer."

    Sincerely,

    Em

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  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 626
    edited April 2011

    Oops..double post deleted...do you think my "letter" is too harsh?

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  • thegood5
    thegood5 Member Posts: 478
    edited April 2011
    not harsh at all!  You KNOW there is going to be some crackpot waiting at the airport tomorrow, don't you?!? Wink
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  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 626
    edited April 2011

    *L* thegood5..that is my hope...

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  • JanetinVirginia
    JanetinVirginia Member Posts: 1,516
    edited April 2011

    BRAWWKKK!!  Tree to hen house.  Come in please.  Alert!  Spotted some guy looks lot like Charlie Sheen just outside the barn yard running from hay bale to hay bale.  Aimed my paintball gun with egg filled with pink dye (great idea Low).  Splat!   NOW who's winning Sheen??   Ok.  You may safely resume clucking.  All clear.

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited April 2011

    Love the letter.  I wish I lived closer to the airport so I could be there in person.  I will look for the story on the news.

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  • hymil
    hymil Member Posts: 826
    edited April 2011

    So let me get this straight: Charlie Sheen (or possibly his twin brother) was racing round outside the henhouse getting ready to set off to meet Emily in Toronto airport or possibly to meet a shady "vitamin"dealer, but he's now covered in bright pink egg-slime? (good shot, Janet). I think this stupidity-disease must be catching, i'm getting more and more confused every time i come to this thread. Think I'll go off and lay some eggs - ordinary buff-beige ones with yellow in the middle.

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  • thegood5
    thegood5 Member Posts: 478
    edited April 2011
    " Janet, this is what Charlie had to say about the shooting
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  • JanetinVirginia
    JanetinVirginia Member Posts: 1,516
    edited April 2011

    funny pic good5:)

    So, I was just getting settled back on my lookout perch and I see this suspicious vehicle parked at end of the road with the lights off.  So I flew (sort of) out of the tree and sneaked up from behind.  Tapped on the window with my beak.  The guy rolls down the window.  I removed my night vision goggles,took a drag from my asparagus, said "Step out of the car."  Asked him what he was doing and did he realize he was trespassing .  He said his name was Jack and some dude at a diner down the road dared him to take a pic of the mother clucker house.  I confiscated his camera, said we don't want no trouble, and "Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more, no more." 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2011
    Laughing
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  • beccad
    beccad Member Posts: 326
    edited April 2011

    What'd you say?

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  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited April 2011

    CoolSurprisedWinkLaughingSmileTongue out----------duh talk about not with it---do you cluckers know that if you hold the cursor over the smiley face a box pops up and tells you what it is. All these years, and I only learn this today. Have I spent too much time with Fuzzy in the smokin room. 

    Low you would have loved it. I suggested the mods work it out so we could forward the cure spam to the techies and they could trace the ISP numbers and turn it over to the FBI or FCC, or FDA. They've crossed state and international boundries trying to defraud. There's got to be some sort of law against.----or maybe I've been watching to many forensic shows.  

    JV    LOve the pink splat

    Does anyone else think that Sheen just looks wild out of his mind. It's in the eyes--------he's gone out there. He should have been using asparagus rather than whatever the cluck he's using.  Burp.oops didn't mean to give anybody anything. Cluck cluck sas

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  • Lowrider54
    Lowrider54 Member Posts: 2,721
    edited April 2011

    Emily...the letter is awesome!

    Janet..excellent shot...he will be easy to spot anywhere - Jack, eh...well, could find Jack in the Beanstalk in the Valley of the Jolly Green Giant on Saturday...worth taking a look and if there is any tell-tale pink anywhere, well, we've got him!  While on this short hiatus, I have picked up some new interrigation devices...forget the water boarding...the constant sizzle of bacon cooking and a smoke filled room - add the coffee enema every 15 minutes and the new tin hat fitted with the never ending drip of 'rain on a tin roof' - oh and this nifty little gadget I picked up in Texas - The Hot Shot cattle mover - I think anyone will be giving up any and all info they have...humm...could it be that Martin Sheen was the dude that knocked up the chick in Texas and Charlie is really the Cancer Cure Guy?????  And she had twins!!!!...so this Jack - well no wonder there are multiple sitings all the time - duh. 

    Thanks my fellow Cluckers...I have something to go on....

    Locked and Loaded...on the road again...

    Low

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2011

    Here's an article that claims magnets can cure ovarian cancer. My question is... why doesn't the MRI cure it? The MRI is a big magnet, right? Shouldn't that suck any cancer out of the body and shouldn't we all be cured? If it did suck the cancer out, what would the cancer look like? Would it look like worms? Little green aliens? Sheen? Asparagus? I'm curious. And what about all those pink ribbon magnets? Should we cover our breasts with those and be cured? Maybe they can suck the cancer out. What do you think??????

    http://www.thedenverchannel.com/health/27602698/detail/html

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited April 2011

    Pink Ribbon Breast Cancer Car Magnet

    For only 4.95 you can order these breast cancer car magnets online.  I think we should each buy two and stuff them in our bacon bras.  The magnets will ensure we never get cancer again!

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  • hdangelbaby
    hdangelbaby Member Posts: 731
    edited April 2011

    ok here is my rant today...... my doc wants me working out....  so i started with a 25 minute walk that got my heart rate up, which is good, then 50 crunches.... whew! i remember in high school ( only 11 years ago!) i could run 10 miles and do 50 crunches AT A TIME!

    i go back to work in june, i really need to get my shit together!! and get in shape!

    and my dumb ass is making cookies this afternoon. why do i even bother? lol!!

    BAGAWWKKKKK!!!- warrior woman angel

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited April 2011

    Yum!!!  Cookies!!  I hope you are going to share.  Just wash them down with and asparagus shake and you will be fine.  DO NOT SMOKE the asparagus, you will get the munchies and eat all the cookies!

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  • She
    She Member Posts: 503
    edited April 2011

    International Update... puff puff choke ... cure guy wasn't in Amsterdam.

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  • Lowrider54
    Lowrider54 Member Posts: 2,721
    edited April 2011

    Thanks She...but they have great asparagus I have heard...

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  • JanetinVirginia
    JanetinVirginia Member Posts: 1,516
    edited April 2011

    I called rent-a-cop and got some beefeaters to guard the hen house tomorrow during royal wedding.  (if you prefer the liquid kind, we can arrange that too.)  We don't want anyone stealing our crown jewels (THE RECIPE) during the festivities.  And remember cluckers - hats are mandatory tomorrow.  You may also wear your princess dresses.

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  • sandymess
    sandymess Member Posts: 299
    edited April 2011
    I'm ready for the royal wedding!
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  • sandymess
    sandymess Member Posts: 299
    edited April 2011
    Look what I found!! I can think of so many uses!
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  • GirlFriday
    GirlFriday Member Posts: 461
    edited April 2011

    sandymess: Why are they sold in a package of 5? 

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  • thegood5
    thegood5 Member Posts: 478
    edited April 2011

    duh Girlfriday....incase you have a friend who had a bi-lat!  haha!

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  • GirlFriday
    GirlFriday Member Posts: 461
    edited April 2011

    Dang!  I'm having all sorts of issues with numbers lately!

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  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 17,186
    edited April 2011

    "Dang! I'm having all sorts of issues with numbers lately!"

    Tee Hee Wink

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  • GirlFriday
    GirlFriday Member Posts: 461
    edited April 2011

    Iago! I knew if you looked, you would understand that better than anyone!  Cheers to you and your patience with my stupidity!

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