For those starting chemo in June

Renee--I'm not buried in snow, but there is a LOT of snow still on the ground here. My brother in law plowed that big drift from in front of my gate yesterday. It's been there since Mom and I were snowed in weeks ago. I've been AWOL because I've been taking care of my mom. It's like a 24/7 job. When I got her from the hospital on the 30th, she returned home totally out of it. She has rapid onset Alzheimers complicated and spurred on by the medication that she is taking to regulate her blood pressure and heart rate. She has something called Sundowners' Syndrome where she has no idea what time of the day it is so she gets up and wanders around the house and she could get hurt. She has also forgotten the sequence of events of going to the toilet and also where the bathroom actually is. She is getting lost in the house where she has lived for the past 60 years. It's very distressing and makes my heart sad because she's my mom and I love her, but also because she did everything to keep her mind active in her later years. She read ALL the time and did the New York Times hard crosswords. She has always been a fan of Jeopardy and could answer every question even better than Ken Jennings. Members of the family have said for years that we should get her on that show. Bottom line is that with me still trying to get well from the drama of the last 2 years-I couldn't do this alone so my brother in law took some time off from his job in Oregon and he's here helping me. He does night watch and I take a pill and sleep. Then I do the daytime. She's actually asleep at this moment. She needs the rest. I don't know how she stays awake as much as she does. Maybe I came by my insomnia naturally. Well, I've obviously got some more hard decisions to make in the next few weeks because BIL can only stay till sometime next week, my brother is in Texas because his only daughter got married today in Houston, sister can't come over from Oregon til first week in Feb. and Mom kept calling me Linda yesterday. That's my sister. I wish it was because Gary is here and she is putting that connection in her mind, but I think it might be just one more step in the progression of this horrible ailment. Well, I thought I'd pop in here and let you know why I disappeared THIS time. When the doctor told me that Mom's main problem according to the CT scan was dementia, I thought--Well, I beat breast cancer--I can handle this, but now I'm wondering if I really can. Okay, I'll quit rambling. Hope you all had a great 1st week of the new year--Life is Good--Smiles--NancyLee

Hi Girls, I have been busy lately but gosh, not like poor Nancy Lee, my dad has some memory problems and my old boss was really bad so I feel for ya. It is really hard when they don't reconize you anymore. My grandma had Alzs. and it is very hard to cope with. Hang in there. With the snow and your mom, you have your hands full. Hope everyone is doing fine. I seem to be a lot more tired anymore. I have treatment Thurs. Oh boy, I have to get home and sleep it off by 5:30 so I can take my mother-in-law to my Dr. I am usually up by 5 so I should make it. I went over to pick the grandsons up to take them to school this morning and my daughter has a bike she rides, one that doesn't go anywhere. It is in the livingroom and I hopped on and rode a good mile or more while the boys argued and fought, Yea by the time they got their heads together and was ready to go I had a little work out and to celebrate, I came home and made donuts with powdered sugar. I am pretty proud of myself. I told myself if I do it tomorrow maybe I will surprise myself with baccon and eggs! You work up a hunger and to be honest I was pretty tired after, almost too tired to eat. My daughter rides 10 miles or more every night while she reads and studies, ain't she just smarty pants? I get tired just thinking about that. Damn, that girl must take after her dad or something cause she don't get that crap from me. Hey, if I put a seat on the back of her bike and rode with her sorta speak, ya think it would count? Is it o.k. to snack while ridding "off" the pounds? Ya know, this is my exercise machine, I can ride, snack and drink soda all at the same time, the only thing better would be if I didn't have to use any energy. Hugs, Mary

Good morning girls, P.J. A gal that does treatment with me did Xeloda and she had to stop because she was having trouble with it. She said she was throwing up a lot even with meds. I still have until May I think. You don't worry about getting the bracelet sent. It is ment to make you feel not alone and conected so send it when you want to. My daughter said she usually rides 18 miles while reading. She is working on her masters. I get in 2 miles every a.m. but not any wt. loss, wait let me go weigh, I am at 145 so yea maybe 2 lbs. I just can't get under 143. I get there and I go back up. It has been excepionally warm so far, like 40's and even 50!!!! Feb.is just around the corner.I have to go referee the boys and get my exercise in. I am honestly pretty proud of myself. My bones seem a little mad at me cause they hurt a little worse but it is rainy and chilly so there we have it. Gotta get. Hope you get to feeling better P.J. I feel so sorry for you. Later girls. Hi Janie, Rene and Nancy Lee. Mary

Mary, Your daughter's young. Maybe we could talk her into donating a few of her miles to us so we can save our strength. I guess you have shamed me into going in there and hitting the ol treadmill or whatever that other gizmo is called -- the one that looks sort like skis and you stand in it and go back and forth. Actually, that one is not too bad.

PJ, I hope the Xeloda fiasco gets better. You have been in one treatment or another for a mighty long time. I know you are tired of it.

Hey to Renee and Nancy.

I think I told you my follow-up is Feb 10. I have to go next week for a port flush. Still haven't had it removed.

Goodmorning Girls, Gotta go ride like the wind but wanted to say mornin, Today is treatment sleep an hour and go back to my onky with mom-in-law. My daughter about bit my head off when I said something about her ridding 10 miles. She let me know she rides 18. She is very thin. I do have to stop eating so much but yesterday I kept track of my caleries and I ate like 1200. I must not be exercising enough. AAAAHHHHH, I don't want to exert myself. Well I am going to try to go a little farther every wk. on the bike thing. I may goes as far as getting me one, Shoot did I say that? Then I would have to really ride it often, at least since I have to go to my daughters I have an excuse not to ride much. Man what am I becoming? It must be the treatment!!!! I just don't usually put myself out for something like exercise. Who an I???? It must be the drugs. Better get, Mary

Just letting you know I'm still fighting the good fight. This Mom with alzheimers thing is harder than anything I've ever faced and you all know the things I've faced of late. I just have a few minutes to dash off this note. Weather quite nice today--calm and in the 40's. Had my BIL Mom sit yesterday and a friend drove me up for my monthly port flush. I'm having a few neuropathy problems with my fingers and toes so didn't trust myself to do the 160 mile round trip. My bestest friend who has been my traveling partner thru my chemo drove my jeep. We had a nice afternoon. The best part of the day was that my huge notebook in the infusion room was up in the way back of the cupboard--Connie chemo nurse had to dig for it instead of just grabbing it off the main desk. YAY--I've been FILED!! Bye for now--Life is Good-Smiles--NancyLee

Hi Girls, this whole exercise thing is a hoax!!! I have not lost a pound!!!I have worn myself to a frazzle and almost put myself in a stupor and notta pound lost. I think it is a hogwash. I can't believe I ride my ass off at the tune of 2 to 3 miles a day, I mean thats 10 to 15 minutes of sweaty torture and Not a pound less. Well I don't exactly sweat, I could if I rode like 20 or 25 miles at a high rate of speed but I think about sweating. I think of ridding at a fast past too but I get so tired just thinking about it that I just peddle at a slow easy pace. This bike thing has straps on the foot peddles and if I got going too fast I could break a foot or leg, then what would I do????I could fall of because my body heaves back and forth just trying to steady myself because of the labored breathing, I didn't smoke all those years for nothing you know. Well please don't do like I did and get a big let down after wearing yourself to a lifeless blimp for nothing. I will be brave and try one more wk. just to pioneer this whole exercise thing so you girls don't have to knock yourselves out for nothing. You think I need to cut down on my food intake more. I don't know... Maybe its the treatments but I just can't lose. I weigh the same no matter how much I eat or don't eat or how much I exercise. Maybe I need to ride longer like 10 miles huh? I might think about it if I remember to. Got to go rent Wedding Crashers for tonight before its gone. Later girls, Mary

OK, annoying side effect of the week (or is that of the weak?). It's not bad enough my hair's about gone, my nails are hideous and hanging on for dear life, my hands work just most of the time. Last round and now this, I'm swelling up like Violet Beauregard, but I don't get the opportunity to have Johnny Depp nearby. My right arm and legs did this last time and have now started doing it again. My legs feel like they weigh 10 times as much as normal, and my muscles feel so weak. Onc wasn't worried about it last time, but it's just another blechy effect. I don't even know which drug to blame it on. Thanks for letting me vent.

Other than that, things are cool here. I'm having trouble getting my mind on work, tho.

Hope you're all well,
Paula

Hi ladies,
Mary, the temps were great until today! ugh... it is cold today. The wind is nasty, but the sun is shining and I'll take that! It's been quiet on your hubby's adventures.. is he bored yet?
Janie, keep trying on the machine. After a few tries it does get easier.
I had to get back on mine after way to much Christmas goodies. Took the last of the chocolate covered cherries to my sales meeting and told them no one was leaving until they were gone. It didn't take any twisting of arms.
Paula, did you lose your nails last time? I lost a few and found that even though they didn't hurt, I put band-aids on them and it made working easier while the nails were 'hanging on.' I can't believe how you've been able to keep working...maybe by choice, maybe not... but I'm proud of you!
I read your posts on Melissa's post and it it so true, I am forever grateful for finding bc.org and THIS discussion board!
Renee

Good morning girls. Janie, my little Southern Belle. it was cold here yesterday too but today....55!!!! I don't know what happened to winter and I won't gripe because Feb. isn't here yet but I don't mind a bit. The hunidity is terrible so any cold air makes the arth. hurt. I need my hair trimmed but don't want it too short ether. I still have some curl here and there. It is funky. Girls, my hubby has 1 more wk. of school left. He has had several calls every day for truck jobs. He is so excited. I never see him much because he gets home at 5:15 and eats and does his homework and goes to bed. He leaves at 6:15 a.m. I will have to get a laptop I can take with me when I go with him so I can plug in at the truck stops. Now theres a sentence I never thought I would ever say. I went to my reg. Dr. on Mon. She was upset because her nurse practioner read my thyroid report last month and decreased my med. and it should of been increased. No wonder I can't lose any weight and I am tired all the time. My sister-in-law is moving out of my dads house because she and my brother are divorcing. They have been split up for a year but she and he has stayed there. I like her and she has always taken care of my dad. I don't know if my dad is going to want to sell or what but he needs someone there with him. My bro. will be there but he works. He will be too lonely and he is forgetful. He lives 25 miles away. I do not like the town and it is too far from shopping etc. I have no idea what will happen. He will probably have a stroke when they leave. He takes the 2 girls to school and picks them up and shops with my sister-in-law so he will be upset. He don't know yet. Well I better go ride like the wind on the bike, I have been spoiling my grandsons and taking donuts and Mc Donalds for them. I was going to bake blueberry muffins but that didn't get done. P.J. hope your doing better and almost done, Janie it should be warm today, Rene great weather here but I think your going to be in a cold front, sorry. Nancy, hope you are hanging in there. Hugs, Mary

The nails on my hands are all back to normal. My big toe nails are still UGLY. They didn't fall off. All of the nails got very thick, some turned yellow others got the white lines. The smaller toe nails have finally grown out. I kept dark nail polish on them.
We have had 30 days in a row at 30 or above. I wish all Wisconsin January's would be this nice. The snow is going to miss us.. so they say.. just south of us 5 or more inches. I hope they are right. I like driving on clear roads.
Have a great weekend!
Renee

PJ! Only one more Taxotere! Hurray! I have always heard that it is brutal, so maybe things will start looking up. How much longer on the Xeloda?

This nail thingee: I have thought about going to the nail salon and getting fake ones until the thumb nails grow back to normal, but I am not supposed to get a knick, cut, or even mosquito bite on my lymphedema arm, so I've been afraid to chance it. My toenails are a lost cause. Renee, I keep polish on mine too, but they are still yucky.

I guess it is good that I have reached a point of being concerned about nails and hair. That sort of thing used to take a backseat, so maybe this is a positive.

Strangest thing. Now, of all times, I have neuropathy in two fingers of my left hand!

Mary, I hope your Dad's situation gets worked out. My parents are celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary today! They were just babies when they married back in the depression era. My Dad's memory is so bad that he will probably forget it several times today. My Mom told me that the upside to that is, she can say whatever she wants to him when she is ticked, because he will not remember it 15 minutes later.

You ladies all have a great day.

Mary, I think you need to go for the money. You deserve it, and hey, it's the law. Get any paperwork you have together and call your state's labor department and see what they suggest. Penny pincher sounds like quite the user and I don't think she should get away with it if you have some reasonable means of getting the cash.

Have a good one,
Paula

Thanks Girls, Hope everyones feeling good and doing something fun this wk. end. Mary

Actually, I wish I could exercise, but it's weird. Even walking up a flight of stairs, my poor legs feel like I've walked 10 miles. Not winded, necessarily, just I have no muscles left. And I'm thinking of skiing in 6 weeks. I'll be lucky to get the damn skis on.

Lost 2 nails today, which is better than having them just hanging there getting caught on stuff. But there are partial nails underneath. What a joy this stuff is.

Having lunch tomorrow with cowgirl, who posts a lot on here. She lives about 40 miles from here and is gonna be in town. Should be fun.

Gonna bake brownies for the chemo nurses for Thursday. I might even let them have a couple....

Stay warm and jolly,
Paula