INNOCENT THINGS KIDS SAY!!

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Helen1
Helen1 Member Posts: 209
edited June 2014 in Humor and Games

INNOCENT THINGS KIDS SAY!!


JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister.
After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot
and one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she
was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't
remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to
six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so much,
that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in
vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom
explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes
wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't
give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

DAN (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I
cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing
in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why
is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked
what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this
bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named
Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife
looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What
happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled
woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for awhile and then asked, "Why
doesn't your skin fit your face?

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget....
this particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms
extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without
you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at that moment my very
obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me and asked quite
audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"
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Comments

  • mags
    mags Member Posts: 233
    edited January 2006

    Helen, yet again you made me laugh out loud. I loved the butt dust one. Keep 'em coming. LOL

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  • 3strikes
    3strikes Member Posts: 16
    edited January 2006
    I want to add an innocent thing that happened at my school.

    The children were making self portraits... drawing, coloring and writing [fill in the blank].

    One child had problems with the names of the colors.
    He was told to match the color of the crayon to whatever part of him was asked about.

    His self portrait read like this...

    My hair is crayola.
    My eyes are crayola.
    My shirt is crayola.

    Everyone had a good chuckle. The boy wrote the brand of crayon, did not figure the names of the colors.

    Thought I'd share that.
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  • zandwich
    zandwich Member Posts: 6
    edited January 2006

    I always love remembering when my (then) 5-year-old was excited for me because the next day was my birthday. "Maybe you'll get a bike, too!" he said.

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  • katz03
    katz03 Member Posts: 94
    edited January 2006
    Thankyou Helen I am not having a lot of laughs at the moment that did me good.

    Katz x

    That was therapeutic!
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  • Catherine
    Catherine Member Posts: 305
    edited January 2006
    Too funny!

    Catherine
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2006
    ROF! Kids are always such a good way to find a laugh. So innocent and so truthful. Wish somewhere tehy would dig out the archives of Art Linkletters Kids Say teh Darndest things. Precious

    Rhymeee
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  • Catherine
    Catherine Member Posts: 305
    edited April 2006
    Bringing this to the top. Too funny.

    Catherine
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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited April 2006
    Those are so funny!
    My at the time 2 yr old granddaughter announced
    very loudly in the Dept. store " Maw- maw you buy me
    big panties like yours"! lol

    Carrie
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  • Roxwooood
    Roxwooood Member Posts: 102
    edited April 2006
    Another thread we don't want to lose.
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  • jz20022001
    jz20022001 Member Posts: 480
    edited October 2006
    Bumping this to the top.

    Catherine
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  • Deese
    Deese Member Posts: 144
    edited October 2007

    Love you Diane.

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  • Lucy1234
    Lucy1234 Member Posts: 289
    edited October 2007

    My son was looking at a pregnant woman in a shop. I said to him "stop staring!" He kept on staring then said "why is that lady so fat!" i could have died right there and then. She just laughed and said "its ok, this is my baby in there and I love him" He only turned around and said "well why'd you eat him then!"



    Another time I went to the local shopping centre (mall) I had my four year old boy with me so he came in. I sat down to pee and he said VERY LOUD. MUMMY ARE YOU HAVING A POO! I could hear the laughs from the basins.



    Bless them

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  • JustOne
    JustOne Member Posts: 226
    edited October 2007

    My 5y/o grandson told me that on his kindergarten bus is a 'mean boy' that tries to beat everyone up and shows them his butt and pee-pee.

    I told him when the kid starts to pull his pants down, just don't look. He looked at me as though I had no street smarts and said 'Grandma I have to keep an eye on him in case he tries to kill me!'

    (grandson is a drama king)Laughing

    ~Pam

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