It looks just like a perm... Groan...

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BrandyB
BrandyB Member Posts: 195
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer

So now that I don't look "sick" anymore, there is no obvious reason why I should look like this. People who are meeting me for the first time dont know that I was formerly known as "Hot Brandy." Now they see me as someone who chooses to perm her hair, then cut it like bozo the clown. I've never felt so unhip and uncool as now. Last I knew I was still 35 and young, but suddenly I'm 37and look so much older than that!



How did I change from a pole dancing MILF (if I do say so myself) to a crooked boobed, puffy chic with an old lady haircut and perm?????



Someone told me "your hair looks good. It looks just like a perm!". What decade are we in people???? The 80's???? I did not do this to myself on purpose!!!!!! This is so WRONG!



Thanks for hearing my rant!



Brandy



P.S. Still happy to be alive and all that junk...



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  • poptart
    poptart Member Posts: 101
    edited April 2011

     Someone told me "your hair looks good. It looks just like a perm!". What decade are we in people???? The 80's????   (I had A LOT of fun in the 80s!)

    Well, I thought your post was really funny!  I am older than you, in my (late) 40s, and I hate/hated the curly hair.  I always have kept my hair short, so I was able to go without a scarf really fast.  I thought my hair would return to normal pretty quickly, but no such luck with one section of it.  I have had my air cut at least 8, maybe more, times and one section won't go back to normal.   I "straighten" it with a hot roller brush to make it look normal.

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  • LtotheK
    LtotheK Member Posts: 2,095
    edited April 2011

    Did I write this post?  I'm lamenting my horror show chemo curl.  I've never been called ma'am so much in my life.  I'm too young for this!  Just 40.

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  • mamaof3bugs
    mamaof3bugs Member Posts: 198
    edited April 2011

    Okay ladies I have a suggestion for you...but it is going to require you to actually buy a HOME PERM!!  You mix the solution and instead of putting curlers in, you "comb" the solution through your hair for about 10 minutes and then wash, rinse, repeat :D  Your hair will be straight!  I just straightened mine last week and I got my first haircut, I feel like a new person, not a cancer patient!!  Good luck, Angi

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  • LtotheK
    LtotheK Member Posts: 2,095
    edited April 2011

    Wowowowow--that is great advice, Mama! I got my hair shaped yesterday, and it's nice.  But my hair is so curly that even the tight crop in the back is dying to fro, so I might ust try this!!

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  • mrsnjband
    mrsnjband Member Posts: 1,409
    edited April 2011

    I just wish I got a few curls.  I barely got hair so I guess I shouldn't complain. It's still thin but it's hair. NJ

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  • hopeful34
    hopeful34 Member Posts: 1,569
    edited April 2011

    YAY Angi!  I had thought of that, but was afraid what hair I have would fall out.  Good to know it is safe. 

    Brandy- I am 35 and I know exactly what you mean.  My dad keeps asking me why I am still wearing a wig, as I have had short (stylish) hair for years.  His exact words were, "well at least you won't have to get a permanent"  I laughed and said, "Dad, I haven't had a perm since 1985."  I don't have quite enough to use a straightening iron yet, but when I do, I am ditching the wig.  I sure hope it works.  Good luck to you.  BTW- I used to love Bozo, but not for hair-do.

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  • mommichelle
    mommichelle Member Posts: 191
    edited April 2011

    All,

    I know what you are saying...my problem is very straight thick hair that feels like AstroTurf.  It sticks straight up so I smooth it down with gel.  Hubby says I look like Fonzy.  I too am 37, feeling grateful to be alive and having hair, but would love to feel just a little more feminine.  Take away a boob, add a bunch of random hair (from tamox I think) and I am feeling more like a werewolf!  Wish I had some sort of styling tricks but it is too short to do anything with.  Everyone keeps saying, be glad you have hair.  I am, but they don't quite "get" it.

    Michelle

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  • BrandyB
    BrandyB Member Posts: 195
    edited April 2011

    I Have been using tips from The Curly Girl book by Lorraine Massey. At first my hair just seemed wirery and frizzy. After I've been following the book's advice and embracing and working WITH my hair and not against it, I thought things were going well. I was getting my confidence back right before the perm comment threw me for a loop. But this weekend I dressed up and wore my sexy stilettos. I feel better now after strutting my (new) stuff. Thanks for commiserating with me. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

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  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 17,186
    edited April 2011

    Sing along I love my hair  

    I don't have curls I have fur. My husband has now come into this room where the computer is and "pet" my head 3 times in the last hour. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to purr or meow. It also turned more gray and the brown turned black.

    I'm giving my hair a full year before I start getting pissed. I'm only 13 weeks out from my last chemo. This was my first day going topless. Tomorrow I call the hair dresser to take care of this color.

    I've aged some too but at least I still look younger than I am. At least I'm alive!

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  • jillyG
    jillyG Member Posts: 401
    edited April 2011

    Ya, I completely feel like I wrote that post!  I had major curls and now it's almost straight.  I mean, it was soooo tight.  I was 33 and hot with my long straight hair before cancer.  When it started to grow back, I was just so happy to have anything at all.  Then it got these super tight curls.  I got lots of compliments on it but it just didn't feel like me when I looked in the mirror.  After more than a year of growing it, with each cut it got straighter which was odd considering the ringlets were so tight.   Now, there is barely a curl, and I have a CHI straightener and I wear it straight all the time :)

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  • LindaKR
    LindaKR Member Posts: 1,577
    edited April 2011

    I've always had curly hair, and it's coming back as curly as before :-), I was actually afraid I would have to deal with straight hair.  Growing up in the 60's and 70's straight hair was the thing, it took me a while to learn to embrass the curly girl that I was - I love the Curly Girl book mentioned by BrandyB, there are actually some websites too that can help you deal with the curls.  Once I learned to go with the curls instead of fighting them my hair looked better and I felt better about myself.  Some people are just rude so ignore the ones  that make negative comments about your hair, you're a beautiful woman who has just finished a huge challenge. Wear the curls with pride!

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  • shells43
    shells43 Member Posts: 1,022
    edited April 2011

    I got the chemo fro too. All of the old church ladies love it. I look just like them!

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  • hopeful34
    hopeful34 Member Posts: 1,569
    edited April 2011

    I have been wearing hoops and I really won't go without a wig yet, unless I am really close to someone (family, close friends, etc.)  I have a few cute hats, but right now my curly mullet hangs out the back....it's not exactly cute. 

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited April 2011

    People say the dumbest things, sometimes.   My best friends mom (whom i love dearly) told me, "OH YOUR NEW HAIR!  IT LOOKS JUST LIKE A WIG!"    I know she meant that in a nice way, but it wasn't what I wanted to hear.   Mine is short and curly, ala granny perm....

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  • hopeful34
    hopeful34 Member Posts: 1,569
    edited April 2011

    Fearless- Sorry, all I can do is chuckle at the comment.  I know people mean well, but it's almost funny how insensitive they are without even realizing it.

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited April 2011

    I know, right?   And the funny thing is - she is RIGHT!  It does look like a wig - but I think when it gets longer it will look more youthful.   

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  • hopeful34
    hopeful34 Member Posts: 1,569
    edited April 2011

    yeah, that's what I am hoping for.  I am only 35 and I look 45 right now. I have always looked young for my age, so between the weight, wrinkles and permed hair, I have aged considerably.  I cannot wait for my hair to be longer.  I don't mind the curls, but the Little Orphan Annie look just doesn't cut it.

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited April 2011

    You are not alone - I think most of us feel our surgeries and/or treatments have aged us, not to mention the stress of it all.   It will get better :-)

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  • suzieq60
    suzieq60 Member Posts: 6,059
    edited April 2011

    I'm starting to learn to manage my curls. I use a Redken product called Ringlet which is a leave in product and it provides some definition to the curls. If I don't use it, it's just frizzy. I did find an old photo from the 80's where I had a perm - OMG - can't believe I did that back then. I've had a couple of proper style cuts and blonde streaks and it is looking better - starting to lose some of it but it's still a lot curlier than before.

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  • Fighter_34
    Fighter_34 Member Posts: 834
    edited June 2011

    How about extensions? Hey sounds like you have enough to WEAVE it honey. It's costly for the good stuff but hey the hair will last until your real hair shapes out the way you want it.

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  • sanbar8771
    sanbar8771 Member Posts: 281
    edited June 2011

    Ha ha, BrandyB, I don't mean to laugh but someone just said the same thing to me the other day so it made me laugh. I am 34 years old and people look at me like I had an option to design my hair like clown afro. You know what I have been doing is using head bands. It kind of pushes the Perm afro back and gives it a more youthful look.  Thanks for the rant. It made me smile...and yes we are all happy to be NED.

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  • mrsnjband
    mrsnjband Member Posts: 1,409
    edited June 2011

    My avatar pic is all the hair I had after15 months.  It doesn't look it much, but it is very short & very thin.  I fretted so over it, this is my hair style for our oldest son's wedding.  I just didn't want to look like a sick person.

    It is getting longer & growing much faster now.  I still have some spots that are very thin but I look like I a regular hair style. I'm sure it will never be the way it was before. NJ

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  • sacphotomom
    sacphotomom Member Posts: 366
    edited June 2011

    Hey there gals I too am of the chemo fro group ... thanks for the book tip.. My hair is very curly to begin.  Before BC I kept it long to weigh  the curl down but now .. I am channeling the 70's.. just need my tie-dyed tees and my hip hugger bell bottom pants.  and I'm good to go..

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  • JMW
    JMW Member Posts: 99
    edited November 2011

    This thread is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. I am just now starting with the chemo curls and a head full of really short hair that feels like a pelt. I had tears coming out of my eyes when I finished it!!! Thank you

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  • suehallam
    suehallam Member Posts: 7
    edited May 2012

    Does anyone know if it is safe to use the keratin straightening products out there on the chemo curls? I am about 9 months out from chemo and have a pretty ghastly curly frizz that I would love to get rid of.I don't want to risk losing the hair however.It IS better than nothing! Any other ideas?

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  • BikerLee
    BikerLee Member Posts: 355
    edited June 2012

    No clue, but fighter has a good idea...  i might just have to get myself a weave...

    I'm not a huge fan of my chemo fro.  Nor of all the "new" grey...  

    Yay for hair - sure... but I look sooooo friggin old right now.  When my hair is wet and the hair looks straight and brown, I look like myself. 

     How long do I have to wait before I can mess with it?????

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  • Cyborg
    Cyborg Member Posts: 848
    edited June 2012

    I went to Claire's and bought thick/wide stretchy headbands and the hair looks cute.

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