I Come to the Garden...

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited April 2011

    Jo, I go for an ultrasound on my left (cancer) side on the 13th of April. I've gotten a messy area there checked a couple times since diagnosis. Even my doc can feel a little pea there now.

    Then on the 27th of April I am having a procedure done in the hospital under anaesthetic to check my bladder. I might have Interstitial Cystitis........sigh. Or bladder cancer.....sigh. Or nothing! Who knows?

    My bone scan isn't until June. My onc had ordered it so I see her for a followup after. I'm assuming she'll order blood work too.

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  • mumito
    mumito Member Posts: 4,562
    edited April 2011

    Oh crap Barbe are they doing a biopsy of the bladder?

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited April 2011

    Mum, I am confused also.  I have always had Fibrocystic breast disease, so my breasts are uneven in texture.  That makes it important for me to know what's normal for me.  So when this new lump appeared and I showed it to my GP, even she thought it might be something of concern.  I figure something must be looking questionable or they wouldn't have scheudled the bx.  No one mentioned the second area of concern until Friday.  But they are going to watch it so I guess that is the best I could ask for.  I have a f.u. appt. with my NP on Thursday to discuss the results of the bx.  Since I didn't have one, I am trying to think of questions to ask her and I will go ahead and keep the appt.

    Barb, I will be praying for you as you continue with tests.

    He IS faithful.

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited April 2011

    But Meece, what an incredible waste of your time and their time!! Why didn't they get their shit together (can I say that on THIS thread? Undecided) BEFORE they dragged you there! I am angry FOR you. That is just BS. We know our breasts by now for heaven's sake!! I do know that I have a mass that they say is just "normal". Now there is a pea in that mass. I'm not panicking as I expect them to blow me off again....heheheheheehe

    Mum, they will do a biopsy if they see anything suspicious while they're in there. We're going in expecting IC. Of course, another painful and food restricted disease!! Sheesh! Between that and gout I can't even have rye bread and yoghurt and tea. My breakfast! Gone! Just like that! Crap! (can I say THAT on this thread?? Undecided)

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited April 2011

    Yes, He IS faithful. And I am too. That's why I just watch all this happening to me and smile. He has a great sense of humour.

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited April 2011

    I'm going to enter Heaven as a little blob of not much. All my important parts and good bits will be gone by then! Most of them are out of me or off me by now....sigh.

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  • mumito
    mumito Member Posts: 4,562
    edited April 2011
    (((hugs))) Woops forgot which thread we are on.Embarassed
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  • Kindergarten
    Kindergarten Member Posts: 4,869
    edited April 2011

    Dear Barbe, Oh my goodness, you have alot on your plate right now. Prayers are coming your way, I know that you will keep everyone laughing and happy as your procedures are being done. I am praying for wisdom and discernment for those doctors and nurses as they take care of you. God bless you and I know you will remain strong!!! Kathy

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited April 2011

    Thank's guys....you make me feel better all over!

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  • 2Hands4me
    2Hands4me Member Posts: 484
    edited April 2011

    So many needs here and with several friends. God knows them all and will provide. Praying for all.

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  • lynniea
    lynniea Member Posts: 611
    edited April 2011

    Will be praying for you

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  • Jwatrlily
    Jwatrlily Member Posts: 211
    edited April 2011

    Hi again everyone,

    Meece, praying and praying.  We are "sisters' other then the obvious (sisters in Christ) because of both of us being Triple Negative.  I am praying daily for your good outcome.  lynniea, hope things are continuing OK with you and the chemo.  Prayers for all of you wonderful women here.

    It killed me to do so but a long time ago I left the other thread that I really needed because it was Triple Negative ladies only, but the final straw came when I, more or less was accused of "patting myself on the back" because I had dared to openly mention that I had been praying for others.  Some there seem to have an adverse reaction to prayer and anything to do with God.  Like Meece, I won't deny or hide my love for Jesus Christ and the power of prayer.  If the people there couldn't deal with it they needed to just ignore my posts but when I was called out for and insulted for praying for others when that person DID NOT know ME or my motives, I knew it was time for me to leave.  Now, that is my final word of the subject!

    5 more days of radiation!  I'm excited but scared to death too since I am Triple Negative.  My risk of recurrence is higher the first 2-3 years then hormone positive breast cancer patients.  I'm scared but trying to keep my focus where it has been since diagnosis day, on Jesus Christ.  My hope is in Him, my trust in in Him.

    I am really burned.  No more blisters, yet, but really burned and have to get up in the night once to put lotion on for the cooling it gives my skin.  I hurt, with several odd pains in the breast and just all kinds of sensations.  I have absolutely loved my radiation team though.

    My last radiation treatment is this Friday the 15th then on Sunday the 17th is our 40th Wedding Anniversary and the Open House at our church the kids are having for us.  For the occasion, I got the prettiest new dress, jewelry and shoes and got my husband new clothes too.  I don't have a clue as to what I will do with my hair.  My hair is nice except in the front, bangs area and that is short like a man's.  I am thinking of using mousse and spiking it.  I'm so excited about the anniversary party but am so going to miss our daughter and her family.  I offered to fly her and the baby (we've never got to see or meet Joshua yet and he is 7 months old) home but she said her partner Erin would not like to have to keep the 2 older kids by herself.  I so wish my daughter could be here.

    My sister in law takes me to radiation today.  That's good because I am tired today.  I enjoy my Monday's with her after we had a meaningful talk a while back and she better understood what I needed from her in support.  She has taken me every Monday to radiation and it is precious time to me.  I care about and genuinely love my sister in law.

    Have a Blessed Monday and week everyone.  Praying for those in the Midwest who were adversely affected by this past weekends tornadoes and storms.

    Hugs,

    Juanita    

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited April 2011

    Juanita, those who thought you were patting yourself on the back for praying are just victims of the evil that is ever out there! I cannot even imagine how they arrive at that comment!!

    I am your sister too, not just in Christ, but in breast cancer. Yes, you have to be more vigilent the first 5 years, where-as I have to worry after the 5-year mark! Thinking of you as you finish your final week, and what a great way to end it with a party!! So sad that Erin can't see the good it would do for your DD to be with you at this time.

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited April 2011

    I get a sick feeling everytime I see the thread for aetheists. How could they NOT believe in the Glory that is God? It just boggles my brain!

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  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 4,266
    edited April 2011

    well, an interesting turn we took today..

      im a bit strange, i know, but i actually go on the atheiest thread, and although i never say im praying for them, well, we know, prayer for those we care for is like breathing.. natural. i just try to remember Christ loved the ones who were unbelievers, in His day. and, i try to remember that it says "without a word" ,, course, thats with husbands, but i think it applies..

       my feelings are a bit twisted, but we need to shine wherever we can..

       i know many of you WONT agree w/me; ive been insulted for BEING there, by my christian sistahs.. but, its' all so personal. my pastor says to grow whewre your planted.. so, there i am.  there are sisters there, that go to many other threads. will i dilike them, also?

       of course, thats' just me, and i could be wrong.. i just switch it up; i do light candles (so doesn't the church) and i can pray silently for anyone i care to!!! im no good at open prayer, like you gals, anyway. its just too personal for me to just blab prayers out..

       i guess that just makes me the "odd duck " around here, eh?          3jays

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  • chabba
    chabba Member Posts: 5,065
    edited April 2011

    3jays, you're not alone in praying privately.  If I think someone will be strengthened by knowing I'm praying for them I may tell them put I keep my prayers private.

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  • lynniea
    lynniea Member Posts: 611
    edited April 2011

    If it had not been for God where would I be.  I believe God has kept me from getting really sick through this.

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited April 2011

    Juanita and I left the TN thread at the same time.  The way she was treated, just for saying she was praying for someone.  After so much banter about the negativity of prayer, I stated I would not apologize for my faith, and left.  The TN thread was a place to get more info, and give support, but I think sometime we can be in a place to toxic for our own good.  Nuf said.

    Mum and Barbe, (edited to add, I now realize that it was only barbe who asked if she could use that language) it doesn't matter what you say here on this thread, or how you say it.  You don't have to pretend to be something different here.  We accept each other as we are.  That's why I love you ladies, I can be strong or weak, and you accept me.  Thank you.

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  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 4,266
    edited April 2011

    i  also love this thread, for just the same reason, Meece. it was the first thread i went on, and still the most one i go to for support. we are all sisters here, in so many ways. Acceptance of one another is so important to me... although i never was on the other thread, im so sorry that you and Juanita were treated so rudely. i don't think that should happen anywhere here, where were all bc survivors, but tolerance for others' beliefs aren't found everywhere...

      thanks for being there, gals...     3jays

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  • Kindergarten
    Kindergarten Member Posts: 4,869
    edited April 2011

    Wow, after reading this, I do feel a little better, because I at first had some complaints about my Christian faith on another thread, but I have found that I can still go there once in awhile, and some of them accept me, may not agree with me, but tolerate me. There are some wonderful women there. I feel that I have to chime in whenever I see some issue that needs to be addressed. This thread is just wonderful and I feel so comfortable because we all Know the Lord and rely on Him and you all comfort each other. thank you all for being so kind!!!! Kathy

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited April 2011

    This is not our mission field, but it is a great place to renew our spirits and gain encouragement.  Of course our witness is "out there", but as with other area of our daily lives we need to watch that we are not taken in by worldly views.

    I wanted to commend lynniea for the way she responded to a small jab at her faith a couple weeks ago on another thread.  She was able to continue making statements of her faith, and the attack stopped. 

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  • lynniea
    lynniea Member Posts: 611
    edited April 2011

    Thanks Meece.  I have another Chemo tomorrow.  God is still on the throne and will see me through my third AC one.  With God all things are possible.

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited April 2011
    Somehow I offended someone here with my last comment. I am still not sure how, but I want to appologize to all of you if I offended you. I am not stating that any of us are holding to worldly views, I just wanted to make the comment that we have to watch what we say in the other threads as we will be judged by those of this world. I was not saying that any of you were doing that.

    I mentioned Mum and Barbe when they both thought that they should not use the language that they were using. I wasjust indicating that no one was judging them for using  a couple of words.

    To the person who I offended (and any others I may have offended) I deeply appologize.  I am far from perfect and should have kept my comment to myself so it would not be misconstrued.

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  • mumito
    mumito Member Posts: 4,562
    edited April 2011

    Hope all is well tomorrow for both Lynniea and Barbe.(((hugs and prayers)))

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited April 2011

    Meece, I don't see how any comment on this thread could offend anyone!! I was worried about offending you ladies with my "french", but as you said, it was real, so it was okay.

    Lynniea I wondered how you were going to be accepted on other threads, too. I am very spiritual but keep it to just a couple threads. I was so glad when Meece started this thread and we can celebrate our God!! I think some people get uncomfortable with the constant reminder of God. I tend to match my level of exposure based on how the thread has been running. Do they talk of God openly? No. Okay, I'll keep it to myself. Do they mock God? I'm OUTTA there!!!!

    3jays, hats off to you to go on that thread!! My heart aches when I see who posts, I don't want to know them in that way. I am not strong enough to be a witness in a long distance situation.

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited April 2011

    I think I am an elbow.  Ackward and bumping into things now and then, but hopefully can help.

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  • mumito
    mumito Member Posts: 4,562
    edited April 2011

    HE HE I think I will stay out of this one.

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  • mumito
    mumito Member Posts: 4,562
    edited April 2011

    Thanks Jo

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited April 2011

    What comment did Meece make??? I can't see an offensive one as I scroll back.

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited April 2011

    I agree.

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