just been diagnosed with breast cancer

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lilruthie
lilruthie Member Posts: 3
edited June 2014 in Middle Age 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer

Hi all i dont know what to do, what to think, am so very tearfull and am having very angry outburst, i was told on the 5th april i have breast cancer not to sure what type but was told it's stage ll have been told alot of information but really cant take it all in with the shock of being told i have breast cancer, i am booked in for a mastectomy on the 15th april and am so very scared about the operation and how i am going to look and feel about my body. I have been told i have to have radioactive injected into lymph nodes then when i am asleep they will inject a blue dye and are looking for hot spots. Will have to wait 2 weeks after my operation for the results of my lymph nodes if they have cancer in them then i have to go back in for another operation to remove lymph nodes then am lookin at chemo and radio treatment, just so very scared, i have a really caring partner but really worried how he is going to look and feel about me after the op as we have only been together a year just really hoping we can pull through this cos i love him to bits and am feeling so helpless to help him with his pain and concern over me, really really want to run away from all this, i suffer severe depression and anxiety after a nervous breakdown and all this is making me feel so much worse.....sorry for the essay lol

 Hugs Ruthie xxx

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  • BarbaraA
    BarbaraA Member Posts: 7,378
    edited April 2011

    Ruthie, the beginning is the very worst part. The shock of it all and trying to understand what to do. First off, take a deep breath. Second, why is a lumpectomy not an option? Is your cancer too big? And as for the lymph nodes, be sure your doctor has read this article about not needing to do axillary lymph node dissection.  http://www.medicallessons.net/2011/02/surgical-study-finds-full-axillary-lymph-node-dissection-of-no-benefit-in-women-with-breast-cancer/

    We have all been where you are now and just know that this is doable, not fun but doable. Your partner loves you, not your breast. Hugs to you and know that we are here for  you.

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  • ScienceGirl
    ScienceGirl Member Posts: 207
    edited April 2011

    Dear Ruthie,  ((((HUG))))))

    You are in the very hardest stage of this whole roller coaster ride!  Waiting for surgery, waiting for lymph node results, etc...........

    Don't run away, you can get through this, we are all here to help you.  Many of us will be through the same surgery / treatments you will be getting.  Ask questions, find strength in numbers.

    I'm SOOOOOOOOOO  sorry that you have joined our BC club, but we are here for you.

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  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited April 2011

    Ruthie, I don't know anything about breast cancer surgery in the UK, but has your surgeon talked to you about reconstruction?  It's definitely something you may want to look into.  There are several types (implants or natural body tissue, like Diep).  Knowing my breast could be reconstructed (which it was at the same time as my mast) gave me an entirely differently outlook about needing a mastectomy.

    Also, I second Barbara's advice about reading and discussing the latest lymph node research and recommendations with your surgeon.  These guidelines are so new, we will have to be our own advocates for awhile, until every surgeon is onboard with them.

    (((Hugs))) to you, and you will get through this.    Deanna

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2011

    Hi Ruthie,

    I am a recent member of the BC club as well.  I know how you are feeling.  Please take comfort in knowing that nothing is 100% no matter what stage.  There are so many brave and strong women here that can give you the knowledge, encouragement and strength you need during this time.  Don't be afraid.  The day you were told of your diagnosis, I was having my right breast mastectomy and axillary lymph node dissection.  They took 2 nodes on the sentinel node biopsy which were positive, so my surgeon removed an additional 21 nodes, 3 of those were positive.  My pathology report said I also have Lymph Vascular Invasion - that's scary too, BUT, that's where the chemo and radiation come in.  Be brave.  Cry, laugh do whatever you want.  Your partner will be there beside you every step of the way showering you with the support, love and attention you need if they are truly deserving of you.  Know that above all else, you are Blessed and God is with you.  Here's wishing you a speedy remission!   ((((HUGS))))  Marcia   

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited April 2011

    Hi Ruthie.................Only been in the boat since Feb. 15th, but already had my BS visit, biopsy, sentinal node biopsy, lumpectomy, and am tatooed already for my Radiation which will start probably right after Easter.........

    You are at the worst part..........Not knowing is worse then knowing everything.  Don't think about running away from this........Remember wherever you run to it will be with you.  I was angry, crying, miserable, moody, but the more I found out, the better it got...........I have no idea where this is all gonna end, but remember, "you have to go through it, to get through it............

    As far as you friend of 1 year........If he loves you, nothing will change.........and if he loves you, this is hard for him too, so just take it one day at a time......that is all you can do.  We wil all be praying for you..............Hugs.......

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2011

    Lilruthie, its very overwhelming in the beginning

    I kept repeating to myself : one day at a time and I

    Dont have a choice but to do this and trust that everything WILL BE OK



    Welcome to the home of the braves :)

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  • ihatepink
    ihatepink Member Posts: 3
    edited April 2011

    Don't know if you've already had surgery, but if you have not, DON'T LET THEM TAKE ANY LYMPH NODES.  Stop, don't rush (unless you have Inflammatory BC), and definitely read Suzanne Sommers book: KNOCKOUT for advice on both alternative treatments, and also a final chapter on using complementary treatments - particularly how to prepare for surgery.

    Don't let the doctors run the show.  YOU are in charge. It's your body. 

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  • Treso
    Treso Member Posts: 149
    edited April 2011

    Ruthie:  How are you doing now?  What was the outcome of your surgery?  It's all so new and scary and sucky but, I have found invaluable comfort with the women on this site.  Sometimes (a lot), I just read posts from other women and they have such a calming effect on me.  I hope you find the same.  How is your partner doing with all that you're going through?  If you take each phase, one step at a time, it's easier.  My onc has to remind me periodically to "stay in the moment" and it really is good advice (VERY difficult to do but, with practice, is worth it).  I like to call myself Hector the Projector (I'm sure everyone can relate) but, it really does get better and easier with time.  I hope you have a plan of action now that you can live with and it has helped.  I know that has helped me each time enormously, knowing exactly what the plan would be.

    My heart is with you, Treso

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  • lilruthie
    lilruthie Member Posts: 3
    edited April 2011

    Hi there Treso i am doing as well as can be expected due to the circumstances, i had my mastectomy 2 weeks today ago, still very sore, i had my dressings taken off on tuesday 26th april, my partner and my macmillan nurse was with me when my surgeon took dressings of, not very nice to look at but my partner was very supportive praising the surgeon how neat the scar will be when it has healed up but all i wanted to do was scream and cry out it maybe a nice scar when healed but it isn't going to replace my breast i have lost due to this awfull disease cancer, still in shock i think and to be honest it feels like it is happening to someone else, so to be very honest not coping very well at all emotionally but feeling very well health wise if that makes sense. My surgeon has said i need to have chemo as there was cancer cells found in my lymph nodes but lucky for me i didnt have to go back to have lymph nodes out at a later date as they were examined whilst i was under anesthetic and was all removed in the same operation, surgeon says i should be starting chemo end of may begining of june just waiting for an appointment to see the oncologist, should have an appointment in 2 weeks to discuss my chemo.

    I know what you mean about trying to "stay in the moment", it is so very hard to.

    My partner bless him is coping alot better than me i have to say he is my rock as well as my son who is 18yrs old, he has had so much to deal and cope with what with my severe depression and anxiety and now breast cancer dont know what i would do without them both.

    Before i was diagnosed with cancer my partner and i were looking for a place to live together as at the moment we both live seperately and was planning on setting a date to get married, we have decided to book our wedding as soon as i have had my last lot of chemo, we are thinking of the end of next year to give me a good lot of time to hopefully feel alot better, so i have got something very special to think about and look forward to next year, i am so lucky to have such a special guy and i love him so much was so worried he wasn't going to handle my mastectomy but he has been the very opposite...

    Hope you are well and thanx for the reply

    Hugs Ruthie xxx

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  • lilruthie
    lilruthie Member Posts: 3
    edited April 2011

    Hi ihatepink thanx for the advice but i had to have my lymph nodes removed as there was cancer cells found in some of them, i was lucky in that they were tested whilst i was having my mastectomy so they came out at the same time, so very very sore at the moment, i have been told by my surgeon Mr Sutton that i have to have chemo and it should start end of may beginning of june so not really that long away,i have to have 6 sessions 1 every 3 weeks so its going to be a long haul, i keep telling myself i gotta keep me chin up and just take 1 day at a time, but have to admit todays been very hard, cried of n on all day today, but starting to feel a little better after i let the tears go....

    Hope you are well....

    Hugs Ruthie xxx

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  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 17,186
    edited April 2011

    Ruthie sounds like you are doing OK. I hear you with the body issue. After my BMX not only do you have these giant diagonal scar (in my case scars) but my upper torso was all swollen. I was retaining fluid so my legs looked like stumps. I went into surgery in great shape. I had my surgery August 31st. I too worried about looking like myself again.

    I'm now almost 3 months post chemo. About to do my exchange surgery at the end of May. It takes some time but the body comes back. The scars don't looks so bad and I know in time they will get lighter. I don't feel like the monster I did back in September… I do feel/look like me again (plus a few pounds that should come off pretty soon).

    Are you considering reconstruction?

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  • pil
    pil Member Posts: 315
    edited April 2011

    Ruthie, I am waiting for my results now.  Your post brings tears to my eyes and lump in my throat.  I do hope you are doing better today. hugs to you and prayers.

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