Do you have young kids?
Comments
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Hi Jen, I can't imagine how hard it must be for you. I remember the days when I would be so weak from chemo that other people would watch and play with my kids and it was so hard to hear them laugh and have fun while I was laying in bed so weak from chemo. I am glad that you have a strong family support system. My mom just left for the Philippines yesterday, she spent 6 months with us taking care of me, the kids, the house. She was such a huge blessing and I miss her terribly already. Hugs to you!
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My Sofia is back since Friday, I am finding it difficult each day to take care. I shouldn't have chosen to have PORT (PICC) because I am unable to carry her. So far chemo isn't that bad, except there were periods like I am having headache and sore throat.
@ Let, where in the Philippines are you from? I just wish i still have my mom :-(...she died of breast cancer 2 years ago. I missed her so much. If she is alive then things wouldn't be so difficult because I know she's going to take care of ME and my Sofia
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Sweetangel, i am so sorry to hear that you mom passed away. I worry about my mom sincr i dont know when im going to see her next since the fare is so expensive.
I am from iloilo city in the visayas, have been in the states for 11 years now.
I know how u feel about not being able to pick up your daughter. I cannot pick up anything more than 10lbs for another 3 weeks since i am post surgery. My 2 yo son raises his arms for me to pick him up and it tears me up not to get him.
So far so good i am glad that you chemo side effects are just a headache and sore throat. I hope that it will not get worse but will get better.
Ingat. -
It is hard when our little ones dont understand that we cant pick them up because of medical issues and not because we dont love them.... My 3 yr old regressed in some areas cuz i think because of how he was doing emotionally...
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I was so afraid for my 2 1/2 year old and having a BMX, how it would effect him. It was my 6 month old that suffered the most. He was learning to crawl and every time he would bump his nose I would try to comfort him. But I couldn't pick him up, and he had a hard time with it, he would scoot away from me to some one he knew who could help him. He wanted nothing to do with me because I couldn't rock him, feed him etc. I never thought it would be so hard on him. I found it to be so hard- to be the center of someone universe being a stay at home mom, to be nothing to him, because I couldn't help him.
Thank God I have been blessed enough to be able to get past this. Iy makes my heart ache for those of you who are still enduring the limitations this disease puts on is and our families. I am so sorry.
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Laurie, it some ways i am greatful that they are so young because in another 10 15 years they wount remember when mommy was sick (well for most of y'all)
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texasrose- I couldn't agree more. I don't think my boys will remember anything, they're to little.
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texasrose - that is so true, and i keep holding on to that thought - that she will forget about the bad parts over time (because we still have good parts too, and I don't want her to forget them. my daughter is 3, and her vocabulary now includes so many medical terms (chemo, radiation, port, hospital, operation, etc.). Today I taught her the word "oncologist" (she asked me if I was going to the eye doctor when I told her I had a doctor's appointment, so I explained to her which doctor i was going to).
On a happier note, i took her for her first haircut today, took photos, and cried a bit too. She was very excited (she's been asking to go to the hairdresser for months now...)
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I can totally relate! I finished rads today (38 txs) and have had chemo and BMX also. So telling my kids last night (4,7 and 10, all boys) that mommy's last tx is tomorrow (today) then I'm all done. My 7 year old looks at me and says "but mommy, where are your new breasts?" haha! He looked as if he was thinking "gee someone forgot about something and she doesn't realize that she's not REALLY done just yet" I then had to explain that I have to wait atleast 6 months to get my new breasts. He looked so relieved. Like he hated to be the one to remind me that something was still missing. Lol! Poor baby, that he even has to think of those things or worry about his mom.
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jalsmamma- thats too cute, mine ask if my boobs will grow back!
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@Texas: Mine were asking that too at first. Then I had to go into the whole explanation of recon (I'll be having DIEP) and boy I never thought their eyes could open that wide, nor their jaws fall that low Haha! They were in total shock and I think Probably mortified at the same time to be talking "boobs" with mom!
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I am smiling at all the comments of how our children handle the whole breasts idea. I think my 3 year old son is going to grow up to have a boob fetish. He checks my boobs all the time to see if they are ok. When I had my exchange surgery I had nipple recon as well. I was nervous about that conversation, I think my 3 year old sees me naked more than my husband. I had to wear bandages for two months after the surgery. So here was my explanation." When Mommy had the boo boos in her boobs, they took my nipples off. Now that I am better they are putting them back on, now they just have to heal." Once I pointed out that we all had nipples etc this was fine for him. When the bandages came off he was so proud that they stayed on. When we would see other people he would ask them if they wanted to see my boobs, that they were all better now.
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Haha! Sooooo cute! He's proud of those healthy ones and wants to show them off for u
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Laurie thats too funny!!!
My son (also 3 like yours) had one day pointed to his nipples and asked "whats that" i told him "your nipples" he went on to ask "where'd your nipples go?" i explained that the dr had to take them off... He said "dr cut your nipples!" Every so often when he sees me topless he points out the fact that the dr cut off my nipples.... The handle it in their own ways
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yep, my daughter is constantly asking friends and strangers if they would like to see my scars... luckily, i have a port scar that is in a place that i don't mind showing, so if she is very insistent, i offer that one. I had an ooph a couple of weeks ago, and one of the incisions was in my belly button, and she kept asking if she could show it to her friends :-)
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They are funny aren't they? I was surprised that my son didn't notice mine were gone. Sometimes it's a blessing that they are little and can be given silly explanations for things and they just accept them. My son only caught me once with out clothes when the drains were in after surgery. Right away he said whats that? I had both drains ,one in each hand. I said just garbage, I need to throw it away cause it's dirty. He asked "where'd you get it?" I said I found it in the closet. "oh" I was happy he was satisfied with my answer. But really, I found dirty garbage in the closet? Not sure where Ipulled that answer out of.
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sweet angel, good luck with your recovery! Hope you have a good oncologist!
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I enjoyed reading all the posts, really can relate with my boisterous 3 year old girl. My lumpectomy went fine, I refused a drain so as to allow me to recover faster. 1 week after surgery, I got the go ahead to return to work and gym (kick-boxing). Even though I mostly kick without the boxing, regular exercise has done wonders for me, I can focus better and feel like I am me! Chemo starts in two weeks and I will have to change my exercise regimen once a port is in place. Hopefully Chemo is not too hard on me!
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Best of luck with chemo, Browniefranks.. You'll do fine, just take care of yourself and rest, rest, rest when your body tells you to. Oh, and ask for pain meds ahead of time. Usually oncos don't do so unless you ask. The pain is certainly not unbearable, but on the 3rd day after chemo, the body aches set in and it's just better to have them on hand just in case. Many prayers and love go out to you all. Xoxo
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Hi, I am Mom to a 23 month old little girl, Sofia Cristina.
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Welcome Browniefranks and angelinac!
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Hi to All Amazing YOung MOms, catching up here.....I got a lil busy the past few days......my lil one is turning 1 next month and planning a luau party for her
. Welcome Angelinac and Browniefranks :-).....@ Angelina, my daughter's name is Sofia as well....Sofia Bianca.....
@ Brownie thanks, I didn't have much of a SE on my first round of CHEMO....I am more irritated with the PORT incision because I developed a rashes and not sure if I am allergic to the adhesive tape or the solution they use for cleaning. I have a home care setup and they decided to put a gauze instead of adhesive tape, so they come every 2 days to clean the gauze. Having the PORT comes with the advantages and disadvantages......so far I am really annoyed having it...I said I am having hard time with the PORT not the CHEMO itself :-).....Make sure you ask for EMEND....it works like MAGIC.....never felt DIZZY or nauseaous......
@ texasrose, I read your profile and am so mad that our Doctor has not been so proactive. I too felt the lump when I was pregnant, and had her checked it......told me that it could be relating to me getting pregnant and could just be a milk duct. I showed it again after giving birth, both of my Family Physician and OBGY....was told it is related to nursing. So I believe them.....I continue to breastfed my baby. I went to a different dr, and complain about having abdomen pain, so asked for a ultrasound and they found a mass in my liver.....thats where it started and found out about me having breast cancer, and even spread out to my bones.....it was too too late.....It could have been detected earlier.....I just feel so mad sometimes.....
@ Letlet how are you sis? I hope you had a great weekends.....I had two parties that I attended....friday and sunday.....had lots of lil ones in our family....my hubby's side.....so every now and then there is always a party.....
@Laurie and latte......your kids looks so cute.....I cannot relate yet with the boobs topic.....I am not sure how to deal with it after my chemo......I haven't discuss yet to my SURGEON.....for now we are just hoping that the chemo will work and somehow will shrink the tumor.......then surgery will follow...
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Hello all,
I an new to this discussion. I am a mom of 4 (two boys 8 and 6, and two girls 3 and 7 months). My littlest was 3 months old when I found out I had breast cancer. I too thought it was a clogged milk duct. I really appreciate having found a group of women who are dealing with the same things I am.
Due to various reasons, I started with chemotherapy first. Now, I am fearful of the summer as I am scheduled for a double mastectomy the first week of June. I don't know how I am going to deal with the kids being out of school for the summer and my recovery at the same time. My kids have been great through chemo but is is taking it toll. The one thing I have been grateful of is that I could always pick them up and take care of them no matter how sick I felt. I know after surgery this wont' be the case. That brings me a lot of anxiety. I know we will get through it but that really doesn't help.
Laurie08- my heart breaks for you that your littlest one knew you couldn't help them. I feel like I missed so much of my baby girls life (first time rolling over, first tooth, etc). I know she won't remember but I do. It hurts. I try to remember all that I do do that makes my little one happy and it helps a little. She definitely knows who mom is and that is all that matters.
Thank you all for being there and understanding the pain of being a mom whose life doesn't stop just because you get cancer. It is hard to battle the cancer and keep the house running. Support from people like you make a huge difference.
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big welcome to the new Mamas!
Yorelh- It was sad for me, yet children are so resilient. Once I could pick him up again and be a Mom again the way I used to be, it was like it never happened for him. I try to remember that I was/am able to be a Mom way more than the time I wasn't able to carry, hold or feed him. He also learned to go to sleep on his own better because of it. He learned if he squirmed and pushed on my chest he went in his crib. I quickly discovered he understood that and would do it when he was ready to stretch out. No crying involved, we seemed to understand each other- bizarre as it may sound. My older son is a Daddy's boy for the most part, I am happy to say despite our difficulties, my youngest is proving to be a Mama's boy:)
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welcome yorelh
I healed up quick after my bi lat mx i think it was because i had my aunt in town for 2 weeks after the surgery. i really had time to heal properly, if at all possible have someone over to help as much as you can that way there are no set backs and then you can go right back to pickin up your little ones angel- i get mad sometimes too thinking back about it! it seems a lot of us with young children were told "its nursing issues" which it tunred out NOT to be. I say forget the early detection- cuz we detected EARLY.. there needs to be more focus on early DIAGNOSING! why cant they just take our concerns seriously and if it turns out to be a clogged milk duct- oh well
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I am laughing at all the comments from our babies.
I have had a few funny moments with my 3 year old. She always asks if the oowies in the yumyums are gone? I told her that I may have to get a haircut and she said maybe I can get hair like Ariel!
@texasrose361 it's so frustrating the level of ignorance of many doctors. Their stereotypical breast cancer patient is older than 50 with a family history of breast cancer! This combo does not even cover 15% of all cases. Hope your recovery goes well.
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I had a lumpectomy and I am considering a prophylactic bi lat MX after chemo instead of radiation. I am not overly concerned about reconstruction so any thoughts and advice about recovery time?
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browniefranks- I laughed at the yum yums comment, OMG so funny!! Recovery time- while the drains are in do nothing, they come out faster. Recovery isn't too bad, I was off pain meds except for night time in a week. As a woman and a mother we want to do everything, you can't don't try. If you take it easy you'll be back and running in 4 weeks. You'll be cooking dinner in a week and you'll jujst have to wait for the lifting part. That is the hardest part. But you figure it out. My not quite three year old (at the time) and I went to the store, he could climb in and out of the car, my youngest 8 months stayed at home. We go to the store and I told him today you can't ride, you have to walk ok? He said he wanted to ride! I reminded him I couldn't pick him up. He says thats ok- I'll climb. The two of us were laughing so hard trying to get him in the cart I thought I was going to pee myself. I got down on one knee and he stepped up on the bent leg and pulled himself up into the big part of the cart. He was so proud of himself! We picked up the few things we needed and this time to get him out I put the cart up against the back of my SUV and he climbed into the back and I held his hand as he hopped down.
My point is, it works its self out. Keep in mind I got home and took a three hour nap- I was two weeks post BMX with TE's on the day of that trip.
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The yum yums name are a result of nursing her for 3 years. BTW thanks for the information on the surgery. For me I think the recovery time may be faster than the radiation time as well as the constant fear of if any new lumps are cancer or not.
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Brownie, my now 7 year old called them "num nums" Haha! Nursed him until 22 months. Hes the one that's always concerned with me getting new breasts and always wonders when my recon will happen
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