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cleomoon
cleomoon Member Posts: 443
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

Are there any women out there who have struggled with relapses associated with a breast cancer diagnosis?

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  • Mazy1959
    Mazy1959 Member Posts: 1,431
    edited March 2011

    Cleo, Not myself but this is a topic that I am thinking may be very useful. Hugs, Mazy

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  • cleomoon
    cleomoon Member Posts: 443
    edited March 2011

    Thanks Mazy. Hugs to u too :)

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  • sespebadger
    sespebadger Member Posts: 249
    edited March 2011

    cleomoon,

    No, but my husband has. I was always surprised not to see more about this topic on these boards because I just bet that a lot of people struggle with it, whether it's the person with cancer or a close family member. I hope you find others. Good luck. 

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  • Mazy1959
    Mazy1959 Member Posts: 1,431
    edited March 2011

    Bumping post

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  • cleomoon
    cleomoon Member Posts: 443
    edited March 2011

    Ok

    I should feel shame. Right? Because when u get diagnosed with cancer the most logical response is: "OH HOW CAN I FIGHT THIS? WHAT DO I NEED TO CHANGE IN MY LIFE TO GET HEALTTHIER TO GIVE MY ALL TO THE FIGHT?"NOt "OH Sh.T" I need toescape this reality and numb myself.  What happens to those of us who go into survival mode and take the necessary steps to get rid of the cancer as best as we can, and then wake up a month or two after surgery/reconstruction or no reconstruction and realize that their life is not the same and never will be the same. And then they start using alcohol/other chemicals more...And yes they were using them in moderation before diagnosis, but after diagonosis and treatment...boom they exploded and became worse?

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  • BeccaR
    BeccaR Member Posts: 5
    edited March 2011

    No Cleo - NO SHAME!  Shame is like guilt, it serves no purpose beyond making us feel lousy about ourselves.  I am taking a shot in the dark here.  .lol .. .and saying that each of us who struggles, (or ever has struggled),  with addiction feels shame. Also going out on a limb and saying It's pretty normal to go to the place where you feel safe -or better still, feel nothing at all.  Be gentle with yourself, Cleo.  Sending you light and love . . .  

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  • cleomoon
    cleomoon Member Posts: 443
    edited March 2011

    Thank u Becca. Hugs to u. Searching for the light in the darkness that seems to surround me now.

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  • Mazy1959
    Mazy1959 Member Posts: 1,431
    edited March 2011

    Cleo,

    Well maybe I am an addict of sorts LOL.The only things I have been addicted to are cigarettes and coffee. I can tell you that quitting smoking just isn't happening for me. I was on chemo and then rads for about 5 months total and then I still felt bad and tired etc for a couple months after. All the while I felt bad, I only smoked one cig total per day. I would light it up take a few puffs and butt it out for later. As I started coming out of it and felt better..the cravings came back with a vengeance. I spoke with my oncologist and he told me that some people have a smoking habit and others are truly addicted. I am addicted. He said to try to at least cut back as much as I could and I did. I have recently started using an ecig which only contains the nicotine ( the addicting part) and none of the other chemicals etc that are found in regular cigs. I alternate it with regular cigs and am hoping that I will get to where I only use the ecig.

    Some people say they quit smoking the day they found out they had cancer and had no problems at all...in my opinion they had a habit and not an addiction..An addiction isnt that easy to stop. I know many people who are shocked to see I still smoke after being diagnosed with breast cancer. But breast cancer does not take away the cravings. Fighting cancer is a most stressful, life changing challenge in itself. I have friends and family who have tried every stop smoking aid there is and everytime the same thing happened...they quit for 3 - 6 months and then the cravings came back so bad that they ended up smoking more than they had smoked before they tried those things.

    I dont know what addiction your post refers to. Some things are worse than others. If its something that will counteract or interact with meds than maybe you need to have a talk with the oncologist about it. Cancer drugs are strong. Maybe the onc will have some sound advise and be able to help somehow. For example. I take Oxycontin for pain but its also used to help addicts of heroine. There may be a drug that would actually help some. My onc appreciates my being honest. They want to know any type of drug etc you are putting in your body.

    Are you all done with treatments? What stage are/were you? I hope someone comes along who knows about this stuff better than I so you can get some good advice, Hugs, Mazy

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  • BeccaR
    BeccaR Member Posts: 5
    edited March 2011

    Mazy - I really admire your determination with the cigarettes.  It remains my toughest addiction battle!   I wish you much strength in achieving your goal of becoming smoke-free.  BTW- I've read that the ecigs don't work, so I am very interested in hearing what a real person has to say about them.  Please let me know if it works. 

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  • Mazy1959
    Mazy1959 Member Posts: 1,431
    edited March 2011

    Becca, I do know one person who for the last month uses only the ecig. They do contain nicotine so its still not good for you but isnt near as bad. I've only used mine a few weeks cause my battery went bad and am waiting on my new one to get here. The company is sending me a new one at no charge and I also ordered an extra one so I dont have to wait if this happens again. I like the idea that this doesn't have all those extra chemicals, tar etc in them. I like to think I'm trying to make it "as not as bad" as I can. I noticed that I puff less on the ecig too. It has a built in feature for if you puff too much too fast, that it will shut off for a few minutes so you don't get more nicotine than the strength you are using. I use the light version and it amazes me how it tastes just like a the real thing. Hugs, Mazy

    Edited to add that I use the Tece brand.

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  • sbragg
    sbragg Member Posts: 26
    edited March 2011

    Hello Cleomoon,

     I am a life skills coach working with a provincial program for people with persistent multiple barriers.  One of my clients has breast cancer - prognosis is poor as in her case she was a drug addict/HIV + prior and has a compromised immune system - all during her chemo and rad, she abused both prescription and street drugs and even her GP refused to thelp reat her, leaving her without a reg doctor.  In discussing this with her, she states she feels unable to cope with the cancer and all it comes with, without cont'd use of  drugs.  She is suffering with both issues but is so dependent on the drugs...she has suffered abuse in the past and there is the underlying reason for her to have sought refuge in her addiction in the fiorst place....so now there is a compounded situation - no black or white lines, for sure...typically there is indication of  underlying reasons for the abuse of  A&D for most people and until those are resolved it is very difficult to stop the addiction, regardless of the plight, otherwise....  if it is A&D, I would suggest that perhaps a well trained and compassionate A&D counselor might be of some help - don't settle for just anyone as there are more positive results when it's a good "fit" ...and when that professional genuionely cares for the client... I agree with the other post about being "gentle" with yourself...no one has the right to judge you and you are likely your "hardest judgement"...there are reports that identify that an A&D related dependency will compromise the succes of remedial treatment of other illness...lots to weigh...I have had bilat mast with recon and am going through a difficult time with having to abort the process before even having implants... undergoing surgery on Friday...I am a food lover - i find solace in comfort foods - perhaps even a food addict, if you will...and I would not choose this time in my life to concern myself with eating habits...but I may be doing myself an injustice as there appears to be a link to better success in fighting cancer and diet/lifestyle...what to do...? resolve to identify the foundation problem to the addiction...is it depression associated with the cancer diagnosis...was the obstacle to succesfully overcoming the barriers rooted to another reason.... research best approach to remedy, be trusting that you do typically know what is best for you, and reach out - be brave and strong in dealing truthfully with yourself - and remember that as with all children of God, you deserve the best life possible! Reach for that with your whole heart and soul and as with many who do so, you will likely be successful in what you determine.and endeavor...have faith that you will achieve your goal, whatever it may be....and be reasonable about the factors/results...I hope I have understood your posts...? and responded to them appropriately...and you don't have to do any if this alone....I wish you all the best, Sherry

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  • CrazyKitties
    CrazyKitties Member Posts: 180
    edited March 2011

    I am drinking so much now, that I am pretty sure I can't stop without help. This has to change.

    Love to you all....

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  • cookie97
    cookie97 Member Posts: 908
    edited March 2011

    I'm in the same boat as you CrazyKitties; it's kind of like WTH! I'm drinking more than ever.

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  • Shrek4
    Shrek4 Member Posts: 1,822
    edited March 2011

    Mazy, I am amazed to finally find someone who knows exactly what I've been through.

    Right before the BC diagnosis, I was well and nice on my way to - not quitting smoking totally, but reducing as much as possible. Yes, I am badly addicted. And once the BC struck, it was a wham that brought the cravings like never before.

    I went through  surgeries, chemo, more surgeries, smoking. I did get me an ecig as well and am alternating, in the same hope, that I'll be only on the ecig one day. The only time the ecig is not working is when I drive. It's too hard and heavy to hold while driving.

    The other thing I'm scared of is getting addicted to pain killers.  I had to use them after surgery. I had to use them during chemo, after the Neulasta shot (I was one of the unfortunate ones to get horrendous pain after the Neulasta shots). Now I have awful back pain and only Percocet works on it. I hope they figure out what it is so I dont' have to take Percocet anymore.

    I used to drink, not a lot - but I had my one or two beers almost evey evening. I live in Oklahoma so it's 3.2 beer. I was drinking it for the taste and for my complexio. I noticed that after the chemo I do not enjoy my beer anymore.I don't enjoy drinking anymore actually. I guess I had enough of havina a foggy brain during chemo and after the surgeries, and I do not enjoy the buzz - brings back bad memories.

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  • thenewme
    thenewme Member Posts: 1,611
    edited March 2011

    Hi Cleomoon,

    HUGS!!!!  Do you have someone in real life you'd feel comfortable confiding in?  Would you consider asking one of your doctors for help to deal with this?  Or maybe a counselor?   I know a lot of what you're feeling is common to many of us, but I feel you reaching out here, and I know it take a huge amount of courage.  I just want to send you strength to reach out to someone there who can help you sort things out and move forward.  Please PM anytime and keep reaching out. 

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  • Mazy1959
    Mazy1959 Member Posts: 1,431
    edited March 2011

    Day,

    I take pain killers everyday but I doubt I'm addicted to them. I often forget to take them, dont get cravings for them etc. If you have taken them for very long, your onc will know how to bring you down slow and hopefully you will have no problems. Since I'm stage 4 and will be on pain meds the rest o my life, we dont worry about addiction to them. But you are stage 2b so I understand your concern. Bottom line tho is that if you have severe pain, you actually need those pain meds. I see nothing wrong with taking them as long as there is a need. I used to take alot more than I do now but as my pain got a better, I cut them back. I still take Oxycontin every 8 hrs but only take OTC drugs for brak thru pain now.I used to take percs for it. Also..have they given you a scan to see whats wrong with your back? HUgs, Mazy

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  • LizinKS
    LizinKS Member Posts: 65
    edited March 2011

    I don't have experience with addiction, though I am on pain meds for orthopedic reasons, I obtain these through a hospital-based pain management clinic. I also still mourn the loss of a beloved 19 year-old nephew 37 years ago, due to a drug overdose. He was so brilliant and talented, and his life held so much promise. I would certainly recommend that you get professional counseling, as well as participating in support groups- both cancer support and addiction support - to deal with the emotional issues that crop up after completing cancer treatments. Participants on this Website will also be a help for you. I found the emotions I suppressed while going through treatment came bubbling to the surface once I was done: fears about reccurence; twinges, soreness and physical changes in your body that may lessen,but will be permanent. Please don't try to deal with these feelings alone. Talking and perhaps even anti-depressants might help. BUT PLEASE DON"T BE ASHAMED!! THERE ARE MANY OTHERS THAT WILL SUPPORT YOU THROUGH THIS. Eventually, I believe you will get to a point that you can really help others with these same feelings and they will be grateful to you. Thank you for posting this topic. You'll be in my prayers!

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  • VJSL8
    VJSL8 Member Posts: 652
    edited March 2011

    e-cigs--great concept but I worry about the manufacturing standards since most are made in China. I usually suggest talking to your MD about the nicotine inhaler (Rx only). is similar to e-cig but is regulated by the FDA and has consistant manufacturing standards. The other thing they have found about the e-cig is that the amount of nicotine is not consistant --some high nic. cartridges had no nic. in them and some no nic. cartridges had high levels--so again, no consistancy in the manufacturing. Duke University is doing studies now, to be able to have them approved by FDA--so they will be more uniform.

    Nicotine is not the problem, it does affect the cardio-vascular system but nicotine has a very short half-life and is out of your system very quickly (half is gone in 2-4 hours) NRT (nicotine replacement therapy) has been around for 20 years--with NO deaths from it. I do think some individuals need to be on nicotine maintainance for the rest of their lives--it's not going to harm you like the other 7000 chemicals in smoke.

    The stop smoking thread on here, is great support for anyone even thinking of quitting smoking. I am a former smoker, and have been helping others quit as a Tobacco Treatment specialist for the past 20 years. On that board, I have offered a copy of my workbook (for free, no strings attached, nothing to sell, only want to help) so if anyone would like a copy send me a PM with your email and I send it to you--all about how to create a plan to quit. IF you're trying to build the motivation--Allan Carr's book--The Easyway to quit smoking--is very good--teaches how to change the way you think about smoking but doesn't tell you how to quit--only changes your beliefs about it.

    Good luck to all dealing with any type of addiction. VJ

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  • pickle
    pickle Member Posts: 1,409
    edited March 2011

    Cleomoon Mazy and others

    I appreciate and admire your honesty. It takes a lot of gusto to throw it all out here.

    Best wishes and big hugs

    Beth

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  • thenewme
    thenewme Member Posts: 1,611
    edited March 2011

    Cleomoon, how are you doing today?  I'm thinking of you and sending hugs.

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  • alexandralucky13
    alexandralucky13 Member Posts: 7
    edited March 2011

    Hi everyone!

    Im so relieved to hear I´m not the only one struggling with smoking (and coffee too)!! I've managed over the past six months to switch down in nicotine content , so Im now smoking cigs with 1mg tar, 0,1mg nicotine and 1mg cd. Creations I would have snorted in contempt at a couple of years ago. I feel pangs of guilt every time I light up. Dont smoke in public for fear of being seen by acquaintances...Ive also ordered an ecigarette. On better days, I think to myself that fighting cancer is hard enough, and that I should give myself a break. I will beat the addiction eventually, but in the meantime I take comfort in all of you´s company!

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  • Mazy1959
    Mazy1959 Member Posts: 1,431
    edited March 2011

    Alexandra, I smoke the cigs with less nic too. At least its a step in the right direction. I have managed to wean myself down and it took it a long time. I know they say the cancer risk is still the same with the lower ones but gradually reducing the nic strength has helped me. Its kinda like when u use the patches. Patches do a gradual redcution. Only thing is that its not long enuff for me. I took like a year between strengths. So between ecigs and lower nic at least I'm trying. Hugs, Mazy'

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  • thenewme
    thenewme Member Posts: 1,611
    edited March 2011

    Cleomoon,

    How are you doing?  I'm concerned about you!  Please poke your head in here or send a PM.  We care!

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  • Cyborg
    Cyborg Member Posts: 848
    edited April 2011

    I am very glad this topic is up! Talk about being dx with breast cancer I have 16 years clean and sober and I have been very tempted to use anything to avoid and escape.I haven't been to a meeting in awhile and the idea of going back and being asked why I am coming back is overwhelming so right now I am just feeling my feelings and leaning into this process. I have been thinking about drinking a lot and the pills left over from my surgery have called out my name but seriously I don't think that alcohol or pills could help me long term. Haven't had a drink in a very long time and it's weird to even be thinking about it. Glad this thread is up. Keeps me honest. There arevsupport groups out there...a women's NA meeting that I could go to.

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  • hdangelbaby
    hdangelbaby Member Posts: 731
    edited April 2011

    i was a heavy liquor drinker before BC, during chemo i still drank, but only beer and wine, and only a couple nights a week (during AC i hardly drank at all, during taxol is when i drank a couple nights a week). now that chemo is over, i have this urge to go out and get ripped all the time. i did one night ( it was a post chemo party), but i have to stop myself. i have been on painkillers too for about 2 months (2 vicodin a day, at night usually for taxol aches and pains), and i feel guilt alot of the times about drinking. shoot, i feel guilt about alot of things since the diagnosis of BC. I'm glad i'm not the only one out there who struggles with drinking , although it has decreased, i still want to go out and just get really drunk. i think it's cause we want to escape our anxiety and constant fears!

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