May 2010 Chemo

Glad you are doing well, Day!  We love DiGiorno too, but, I got Dominos from Groupon  .  So, I see my onc in about a week and a half, and need to have a couple of things addressed....  first, a pain in my right hip that has not gone away since before Valentine's Day... and B. I just started having the worse leg cramps about 3 days ago.  When I stretch at night, my calves hurt really bad if I don't flex my feet... I only had cramps like these in my legs during pregnancy!  And, a few pelvic cramps that I'm not terribly worried about... I've been on the tamoxifen for almost 4 months now and wonder if any of this may have to do with that.  I'm not taking any other meds other than vitamins... although I did start a daily baby aspirin today because I read a study that it may reduce recurrence, so I thought, why not, I don't have any contraindications, so WTH?!! 

I think I want to ask my onc to see if I metabolize tamoxifen... because if I don't, I could have an ooph when I have my exchange surgery.  I don't want to do that, but if I'm not a metabolizer... then I think I would have to make that decision.  I'm concerned because my hot flashes are almost non existent anymore... don't get me wrong, I'm happy, but it makes me wonder if I'm metabolizing..

((HUGS)) all!!

Leanna &Day:  have horrific pain in my left hip...Only felt this since the taxol....I did have right hip replacement 2  yrs ago. I went to ortho a month ago and YES he wants to replace my left hip now.  I totally blame the taxol.. I had no problems till I was on this drug . Over the past 2 months the ball of my right foot hurts really bad, So I ask..when is all of this going to stop?  Why do we all have so many  more SE's...after all chemo and radiation done...It scares me.

On a different note:  I had nipple reconstruction done today. At first glance they look great...but tonight not so sure. My PS said 100% they will be smaller and a good chance they will deflate. Just the nature of the beast...I am hoping for better odds.

And  last week found our I have LE...went to pt and got ftted for compression sleeve. She also wrapped me ...(feel like frigging mummy)......i SO hate bc,...I paid my dues...why do I continue to have constant reminders..

sorry about the rant....but just feeling down 

Day, so glad that the exchange went well.  Was thinking of you lots on the 2nd!  Jersey & Denise, sorry to here that you are still having issues like LE.  Not fair.  We're here to hear your well deserved rants.  This disease DOES suck.  I'm an optimist at heart though, so I'm just concentrating at putting everything behind me.  That being said, I had to go back to homecare nurse visits every day.  They were starting to think the abcess was getting infected.  The smell would have bowled you over by the second day (I couldn't eat until after they came it was so bad.)  I was also getting a rash from the drainage sitting against my skin.  Now that they are coming every day, the smell is going away, as is the rash.

Leanna, I thought of you on Monday.  I had an appointment at the bank and the DH left the puppy out when he went back to work, thinking that I'd only be a few minutes.  I didn't know he left the puppy out, so I took my time and did a few errands.  When I got home, there was a disaster in my living room!  The damn dog dragged the top of a pineapple into the carpeted living room, decimated it, ate the half of banana that was sitting on the kitchen counter (I had had a fruit salad for lunch,) got into the bag of grapes on the counter and there was a trail of grapes on the floor from the counter to the livingroom, chewed on Connor's markers, somehow got a fork UNDER the large mat at the back door, brought a small log up from the fireplace, four socks and the toilet paper roll holder!  The DH got a earful that is for sure!  It made me think about how you weren't sure if you wanted a dog yet, and I thought to myself, yeah, me neither!

Anyway, I have to go deal with a toddler who insists on throwing temper tantrums at bedtime.  ARGH!

Jenn, I didn't have exchange surgery, just a revision. I had immediate reconstruction with direct implants in October 2009. Now it's just nip and tuck here and there - my PS seems to be a perfectionist.

I had noticed that I had puncture marks even above my breasts, towards the shoulders - I think he took some fat out of there to make the "slope" more evident (this is the PS I had to fight with not to have DDD's lol). I am still bleeding a drop or two on the right breast where he had done a vertical incision and tucked some skin in to make the shape of the breast match perfectly the left one. Tomorrow I can  take a shower and I'll be able to take off the bandage on the abdomen too. I can't wait to see, and also, I want to clean the blood on my right breast - I had bled a little on the way home, no matter how much my boyfriend tried to avoid bumps and potholes, we still had to go over a few of them. I don't really have any bruises, just a few bluish spots on the areas of the breast that fat was grafted in. Interesting is that the veins on my shoulders going towards my chest are very visible, so I guess they will provide a lot of blood supply for that grafted fat to survive!

I'll take photos after I'm clean and nice lol. There is still swelling on the outher inframammary fold on both breasts, the only thing that he cannot really do much about is the swelling under my right arm - that's the lymphedema thing. Sigh.I also asked him if my implant was above or below the chest muscle, and he said below, so any recurrence (knock on wood) would be easy to spot.

 With all this going on, I forgot to say that my onc visit Monday was great, I found out that my last tumor marker test was ... 0.5(yoohoo) and that generally I look to be in good shape. And he switched me to Aromasin from Arimide, I will start taking it a week after the surgery. Tomorrow I will be able also to start again my supplements. 

Ahhh... Puppies... I had those kinds of things happening so many times. The worst was one time, I was still in Romania. Over there you can buy cosmetic/medicinal cotton not just in cotton balls, but in a kind of "sheet" that is about 7" wide  and 1/2" thick, and folded in a zig-zag to fill a bag, that would result in about  10' oflength. Anyway, the puppy I had at the time, got hold of a bag, and when I got home from work, the carpet in the living room (burgundy carpet, nonetheless) was covered in a thin film of cotton. Couldn't vacuum it - it was fairly embedded in the carpet, so I spent about an hour on my hands and knees with a moist rag scrubbing the cotton off the carpet.

And you guys are right - we've been through enough, we shouldn't suffer from lingering SE's anymore!

Finished the last Provera dose on Friday and feeling kind of bitchy and out of sorts.  Hopefully it won't last much longer.  The vaginal infection came back.  My whole body just feels way off kilter.  Now I wait and see what my period does from the provera.  I hope s%$t gets back to normal at some point.  I have cabin fever big time.  I just can't wait for spring.  Gage was throwing up and had diarrea all week; finally seems on the mend.  His new bed is still working out good so at least there's that. 

Sorry so bitchy.  But I know u guys understand.   

I've posted photos of my recent recon revision on the pictures forum. You can head that way and look, I am very excited!

Dang, I need to get off my arse and get my pics access set up!!  Glad you both got them done and are happy... damn, we deserve it!!  I am both excited and nervous about my upcoming surgery... May 4th... being under for so long, and having to be hospitalized for so long... 4 days is almost longer than I was in the hospital giving birth to all 3 of my children!!! 

sacphotomon, you'll be so happy after all this is behind you (talking about reconstruction, of course). I hope they find a good treatment for your problem.

packjen, I saw the photos on the picture forum. You go girl! It looks sooooo good!

 Leanna, you'll get there and everything will be just fine, you'll see. And it might not be 4 days, it all depends on how you recover. With my 10 1/2 hours BMX + immediate reconstruction, I was in the hospital only 2 days, they wanted to keep me longer, but I told them I wasn't happy in a hospital, and my dr. said that it was ok to go home because I was recovered enough.

That's great, Daiva! 

Denise - yes, DIEP.  

Thanks for the kind words... now my friggin' RANT!!!!  So, my surgery was scheduled for May 4th (was is the optimum word)... when I talked to PS office initially (Feb 15) I told them I wanted 5/4... had the day picked specifically to give me time to recover and have fun on our vacation in June.  She said no problem.  There was a choice between 2 hospitals... one maybe out of network, but for my MX and TE the co-pay was only going to be about $120, so I said, find out the co-pay because I would MUCH rather have surgery at the out-of-network hospital.  So, she calls me a couple of weeks ago with 5/4 surgery date and I ask about co-pay... she doesn't have that yet but ASSURES me that she can reschedule surgery for exact same day at other hospital if copay is too high.  Yesterday she calls me and says that co-pay is 5%.  I say no, and she says that she cannot reschedule for the same day.  WTF, be-yatch... I want to slap her!!!!  I said that I just cannot risk 5%... what if there are complications, that can add up to a lot of money.  Long story short (which mine never are)... the soonest I can have my surgery is May 20th.  I'm holding out hope, but pretty much know that our vacation will be ruined by this.  We will still go because we already have reservations and Thomas tickets and Thomas is only in Strasburg at certain times, but I may very well have to use a wheelchair to keep up with the family.  I'm so pissed about her doing this.... I hope she feels bad about this because she had time to work this shit out last month and she f-ing didn't. 

So, that's my rant! 

I know, I am soooooooooooooooo trying to stay positive with the what-ifs... that I will just have to be very motivated to heal, but any little complication is going to make our vacation a bummer!  I was going to march over to their office in person today and raise a stink... but, I have thought better of it, and will just live with the new date and hope for the best.  (and, I only mentioned a wheelchair, because we have plans for amusement parks and tours and such every day... lots and lots of walking). 

We'll just hope for no complications!!  Love your new pic!!

Lol, you should see me when I wake up, I look like someone has plugged me in, remember those Van de Graaf spheres in the physics lab back in school? that when you touched them your hair was standing up on end? That should give you the image.

OK guys... now the kicker.... my daughters HS graduation which I thought was suppose to be May 18th, is actually May 21st.  My surgery is scheduled for May 20th... what should I do?????

I think that's going to be my only option... .sigh... now, I will have to go all summer unable to wear a swimsuit... my ladies are so incredible lopsided.... ugh.  I have a good mind to go down to the PS office and just tell her everything that she screwed up, and I am tempted to do it braless in a tanktop so she can see exactly what I am dealing with. 

Wow didn't know about the sun exposure thanks Day..

 Leanna ..Postpone it for till after your daughter graduates and after your vacation ...you will probably be more relaxed for the both of them..then you can concentrate on recouping after the exchange too..  and maybe not all summer.. just about1/2  and you will be all healed for the next set of holidays..