Mom just diagnosed with stage 4

gpesav- Im so sorry to hear about your mom diagnosis, i know how scared you must be, im not a stage iv so i cant really help you with that, but did want to tell you to go the the stage iv thread where you will get great information and loving support from all the ladies there, and so many of them that have been around for quite a few years some 14, 15 years, some of there stories are really inspirational and will help you get thru this. Some times the threads move slow and you may not get a response right away, not because no one cares but the threads can get kind of lost too with so many posts here, just wanted to let you know i was listening and wanted to send you big hugs your way, your mom and you and family are in my thoughts and prayers (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

Debbie

When I read your post, I could relate with how you feel about your mother.  My mother was diagnosed stage IV when she was 51.  I am glad at the time we did not have internet in our home (this was 11 years ago)  all the googling would have destroyed me.  I had no idea what her "odds" were- neither did she.  We were always very positive and I think it made a huge difference in how she felt and her out look, not to mention her quality of life.

Heidi hill said it well, each stage IV is different, there is hope, don't let the statistics get you down.  If you can stop googling, come to these threads for support and encourage your mother to as well.  That way you will see that there are many strong women here with a great sense of humor that have many successes to share with you.

Prayers for you and your family.

Stay positive..There are so many that  have lived with stage IV for many many years...I personally have know people in my life that were told they only had a short time..An uncle in the family lived another 25 years !..Hang in there,, prayers are with you and your Mom.. You have a great group of women here...

Forget those statistics that say she will live 33 months.  I have been Stage lV for 13 yrs now....maybe longer since I complained about the pain in my sternum for about two years before they even did a bone scan on me and discovered it.  Not only did they find it in my bones, it was in the lung and liver....And I am still here.  So don't give up hope.  Finding out you are Stage lV is scary and it is normal to think the worst since there is no Stage V....I remember how scared I was and calling all my friends to come over and how we sat around and I cried and was positive that the end was coming.  Well, the end is coming for all of us one day but I have been very fortunate in that I have found I am able to live with cancer.....you just need to find a treatment that will get it under control.  I always say I no longer think of it as dying from cancer, but living with it.  I wish you mother the very best.  

We got the call my mom had cancer on January 2nd. They said it was was in her left breast and 6 lymph nodes on her left side. When they did the MRI they said they were concerned about her right lymph nodes but her right breast was clear and she had a CAT scan and bone scan yesterday. Today we found out the bone scan revealed spots on her middle and lower back. CAT scan came back clear. I am devastated, my mom is devastated and I am trying to have a hopeful outlook and keep my faith but it feels like we just keep getting worse and worse news. Her cancer is lobular and triple positive (that includes HER2+) On top of that my mom already has a chronic illness crohn's and she had a mammogram and ultrasound in June that came back clear but because its lobular it's common to not show up on mammograms and ultrasounds. I'm going back to college at the end of the week and I'm terrified to leave my mom. My dad and sister are around and she has three siblings and friends in her corner...but I don't want to lose my mom....I'm so scared and hurt and tired. My mom is my best friend I want her to see me get married and have kids and advance in my career.