Chemo June 2010

latte-  These are more hard decisions.  I can't take tamox because of a dormant clotting condition.  As I am not 2 years menopausal, they can't give me AIs unless ovulation is shut down.  I react very badly to medications, it is why taking AIs is actually the hardest decision for me.  Taking the Lupron shot was discussed as an option.  My new Onc says there is some evidence that it does not completely stop the estrogen production or something, which would make the AIs not work??  She said the ooph is best.  I also don't want to go to the hospital monthly to get the shot, too many bad memories.  Also, if I do react badly to the Lupron, how do you get that out of your body????  I am SO looking forward to the day that I have decided and completed all the possible treatments and can get on with life!

DMom and Latte,   I had a hyst with ooph 17 yrs ago and it was not bad at all.  I have never suffered too much with the hot flashes or other symptoms of menopause.  I am taking Femara and I admit it has worse side effects than my ooph did.  My recovery was quick and I went back to work in 4 weeks and felt really good.  I actually felt better physically after the surgery as I had polycystic ovarian syndrome so felt better without those pesky ovarian cysts.  Hope your surgery goes well and you have no SE's to speak of.   Ginny

I am going Tuesday to get the results of my blood test.  If they can't figure out something soon, I'm going to be in a wheelchair.  I'll just keep my fingers crossed.  Will check in on Tuesday.

DMom -  I am supposed to be taking Arimicex too.  I've researched it a little bit.  Like you, I'm fearful of taking it.  When I called my MO about my escalating joint issues, he told me to wait two weeks before starting the Arimidex.  That was 4 weeks ago and I still haven't started it.  I think I might wait until my checkup in April and talk to him about taking an AI.  I had a hysterectomy when I was 32 and don't know why I would need an AI after that.  I know our bodies produce small traces of estrogen naturally even if you've had a hysterectomy and/or menopausal.  I just don't know.   There's so much about this disease, it's hard to keep it all straight and take it all in.

Bon - I don't know how you deal with the financial/insurance part of this journey.  You have been hit so hard in that area.   My husband has been so stressed this past year with my loss of income and the mounting medical bills.  At least I still had my insurance.  I'm so sorry you have to deal with all that and your health too.  I wish I could help you in some way.  

Chey - yay for you and your sister!  So glad everything went well with your new onc and office.  Keep your chin up, girl.  You've conquered the worst part.

sherry-  You do make me laugh!  I feel the exact same way about the colonoscopy, especially the prep.  Goodness, trying to stay healthy is more than a full time job!

I, too, was feeling the blues.  In my case I was more irritable and fed up.  I was talking to a friend that I was even fantasizing about moving to our remote island home, planting a garden, getting a chicken and calling it a day.  She looked at me in disbelief and said "don't you know you never, ever make decisions in February?  It's just the winter getting to you." I think that should be a new rule, no big decisions in February.  Today it is raining and warm and finally the last of the filthy snow has melted.  Flowers are starting to pop up in the park.  I think it is only 15 days till Spring.  Ladies, I think we have survived the winter of 2011.  What a journey it has been.  I am so glad we were together!

As you guys are my closest "breast friends",  and I know you will tell me the truth, I am taking a poll on how many of you are doing hormone blockers like Tamox or Arimidex.  This is the next big treatment hurdle (if I am brave enough to have my oopherectomy).  I sure would appreciate your honest feedback on how you feel, side effects etc... if you are on them.  I am expecially worried about depression.  I have never been depressed a day in my life, that would be the worst SE.  I still feel like I am in a bad dream, or weird science experiment and I will wake up any minute now.  Someone shake me, please!!

Dmom-  Just saw your post after I sent my post.  I am on Tamoxifen and don't see any side effects.  I do take effexor because I have battled depression most of my life. The Taxol threw me into meopause.  The effexor does double duty for depression and menopause symptoms and is effective on both counts with no side effects.  I actually doubt that Tamoxifen or Arimidex cause depression in most people.  My guess is that since so many women have that as their only treatment post lumpectomy the depression is really a side effect of diagnosis and illness and surgery.  We chemo gals have been there and done that as far as dealing with the emotional side effects of BC.

hi joan, i would love to come visit everyone, but i don't see it happening. too expensive, won't have any vacation days from work, and don't have any options for looking after my daughter. but i'm jealous and sure you will all have a fantastic time! and if you do all get together then maybe we can do a skpe call so we can all see each other for the first time!

Thanks everyone for the Arimidex feedback.  Of course my doctor says most of her patients don't have SE!  I trust your opinions more. 

Bon-  I have a feeling this BC stuff never ends completely, but I sure hope it will fade someday.  Kind of like childbirth without the joy!  About skype. Jeez, now I have to comb my hair and get out of my pjs while at home???

Funny you gals mentioned going to Florida. I made plans for me and my DH to go to Orlando next month. I had my ooph scheduled for April 11th. Then I got a great deal on a hotel and have frequent flyer miles. So I scheduled the trip and called my obgyn to reschedule my surgery. I can totally relate to what Bon said about making plans. My DH said we don't have a lot of money to travel to Florida (I'm also having some insurance issues, but have insurance). Well, anyway, I told my DH that I want to make plans now. I freak out all the time about getting dx with BC twice. I'm tired of all this cancer crap. So I opted for a vacation instead of surgery. I'm sure my obgyn and gyn onco think I'm nuts and high maintenance. Oh well!!!



I am 41 so I haven't scheduled a colonoscopy. I lost a friend to colon cancer in January. She was 44. Not to scare anyone but we have to be vigilant. My dermatologist makes me come in every 4 months to check my moles. I had 1 removed last week.



Anyway, I hope everyone is feeling better each day. I can't take Tamox or any of those kind if drugs since I'm triple negative. I wish I could take something as an extra precaution. I'm still feeling achey in my legs. The pains were almost gone when I took a week of vacation. Then they came back. Another good reason to take a vacation. LOL!

Jackie, this is the place where you can say how you feel and we will understand. Even if we don't feel the same way at the same time, we've all had our moments of despair, disgust, disbelief and disappointment. I am sorry you are hurting, physically and emotionally. You are pushing yourself to keep things 'normal' and 'business as usual' when it would be nice if you could slow down a bit and just relax. Try being an over acheiver at taking care of yourself! I hope that when you got back to the hotel tonight you ordered room service, put your feet up, ran a nice hot bath, and soaked in the tub for a long time to loosen your muscles, warm your bones and renew your strength. Be good to yourself. Sending hugs and positive energy your way. Bon

Toni30, you are so right about colonoscopys.  They give you good drugs that make you sleepy and happy.  NOT like chemo at all.

Joan, could I join you on the couch? Yum, I love those cookies.

Latte, If we were rich, a few of us could fly to Isreal and babysit during your surgery.  Wish we could baby you too during your recovery!

Bon, you have such a way with words and are able to really express your understanding and empathy of how others feel. Such a wonderful skill.

Kittycat, great idea to take a vacation instead of surgery.  Go for it!

Jackie I read where the months following the completion of active treatment are the most difficult.  There is so much physical and emotional healing to do, along with the dreaded fear of reoccurance it is little wonder we all are't somewhat mad by now.  Do not hit the delete button.  Sharing your feelings really helps us realize we are not alone in what we are going thru.

I saw my onc twice.  Once before chemo and once after radiation to get a script for femara.  He is young, good looking, a charmer and I think a real twit.  He says no follow up, no bloodwork, no tests.  Geez!  I saw my family doctor today and she did a complete physical and ordered lots of bloodwork, a bone density, mammogram, and yes a colonoscopy. I also will start a low dose of antidepressant.  I figure it can't hurt and might help.  I think I prefer to see my Dr. instead of the onc anyway, she is much more thourough. Oh yeah, she found a "freckle"on my private parts.  She said "we don't like freckles"  so more tests.  Oh well, after BC, not much scares me now.

Love and Hugs to all, Mimi

Here I am - and here you guys are still talking about colonoscopies! LOL!  Went to the ortho yesterday to get the results of my bloodwork.  Wouldn't you know - they didn't have the results back from the lab.  They called the lab and the lab couldn't find them.  They even went so far as to say they didn't even have me in the system.  So, basically I wasted an hour and a half and $25.  But, my ortho said since I was in so much pain, he wanted me to go ahead and see a rheumatologist.  He called one and I have an appointment for the 17th.  Hopefully, they can locate my lab results by then and fax over to the RA doctor.  Lord have mercy!  Now I have to wait another week. 

Jackie - you can say anything you want anytime you want on here.  That's one of the reasons we're here; to comfort those who are down and complain to others when we're down.

I must have missed the part about having a get together in Florida.  Are we really going to do that?  When?  

Yes, we must meet in Florida next winter or spring!.  We must all wear our pearls and ride our vacuums!  I'm meeting with the gynecological Onc tomorrow to talk about possible oopherectomy, then my first mamo and US since diagnosis on Monday. This doctor nonsense is getting SO old!

Hi Ladies,

  I found this site last year when i was diagnosed and have been following a couple forums,  but mainly this one, as i also started chemo june 2010 and have gotten lots of great info here, and feel i know you all.  But being shy, i guess,  i have never posted anything.  So here goes, my first post !  Better late than never i suppose.   I have  finished active treatment, lumpectomy, snb, chemo and rads and now just on tamox.  Also just finished first set of 4 month checkups with chemo onc and rad onc.  I guess i am posting cause  while mostly i'm fine,  my rad onc ( who is a very sweet man), made me cry yest when he asked who i talk to about my fears etc,  to which i had to reply no one, really. did i mention i'm shy? most especially when it comes to talking about feelings!!   (I  usually just come and read your posts and see that i'm not alone with my feelings/ concerns/side effects and that seems to help).  He was also saying how people can be very strong and tough and together while going through  treatment then after it's all done, that's when it hits them.  So doctors orders....not to keep it all bottled up inside.. soooo,   i though perhaps i should stop being a stalker just reading your posts and say hi    and get interactive.   so  Hi.        

that and i just came back from having a thyroid biopsy as they found a suspicious nodule there while looking for other stuff.  While I know, mostly they turn out to be benign and it's not a usual place for bc mets from what i read,  it still freaks me out a bit., Now a 3 week wait for results, while doing my best not to worry about it.  There, that's my current fear.    

Jackie--I second, third, fourth, whatever, what everyone else said!  Give yourself a break!  Now would be a GREAT time for a vacation, or even just a few days to yourself.  Wow, I haven't worked since my surgery last May, and I am not going back until Sept.  For me, after 2 cancer dx back to back, I just needed some time to have fun and enjoy life.  I know not everyone needs as much time as me (some women really enjoy working), and not everyone can afford to take so much time off, esp. if they are paying for the health insurance.  Last year when I went back to work for a few months I was so tired that I didn't have energy for anything but work, and after all I've been through, I don't want my life to be just work!  All this to say, just take some time and at least think about taking a break.  Please take care of yourself.

Chili--welcome!  Thanks for letting us finally get to know you!  I hope you'll keep sharing with us.  We'll all be waiting to hear how the biopsy turned out--just fine I hope!

My only complaint these days, ladies, is I'm still tired!  I seem to be getting MORE tired, instead of less!  Starting Sunday, I will have my 17 month old grandson here 24/7 for about 2 1/2 weeks (except weekends when he'll be going to his other grandparents).  I'm going to be BUSY!  I'm happy to say that my hair is growing fast, and my joint aches and pains aren't nearly as bad as they were.

I'll be thinking of you, Designermom, on your upcoming tests!  I'm putting mine off until mid to late April, until my dd doesn't need me anymore to watch my gs. (she's going to the Ukraine to adopt a little boy!)

hugs to all!