Bottle 'o Tamoxifen

Jo that is such a good question because I feel the same as you and am just a little behind you.  Would love to hear what others have to say.  With all my Dr appts it seems to just still be with me.  I see my MO on the 24th and hopefully he will put me to every three months.  I am on monthly until my SE from tamox are under control and they are much better except for the sleeping. urgh

Good afternoon ladies. 

Leanna, I've been on Tamoxifen for just over a year.  I did not take chemo.  My last period was in September until March 6.  Your gyn can run a blood test to check your FSH levels.  Also, your FSH levels can fluctuate where you go in and out of menopause.

Jo, for me I still think about cancer and the outside chance of recurrence.  I don't take my health for granted and I try to live each day to the fullest.  My priorities have shifted.  I'm not quite so content to watch the world go by.  I want to experience life which means putting myself in situations where I may fail but at least I tried.

I don't want to be the person I was before cancer dx but I do not live in fear. 

Sherry - I have to see my BS tomorrow for the continuing breast pain.  It is getting less and less on it's own but is still there.  I am not really sure there is anything he can do at this point.  I have had so many tests done and nothing shows up.  I am sick of going for tests.  I am hoping this will be my last BS appt.  I know I can always call him if there is a problem.  After that I am done until my mammo on June 3rd.  I will have the cruise in between and maybe just getting away from here will help alot.  I don't have to think or talk about BC.  

Janet - A breakthrough and/or a cure would be wonderful.  I have this little varmit sitting on one of "gray matter" that says you will never forget and I am not going away.  Well, I am going to one day kick his butt just like I did BC - LOL!

Thanks to you all - I have said it many times before, I could not have come this far without your support and love. 

JO... Great question,, the only active treatment I have is the Tamoxifen. My onc has siad no scans tests or anything its all sympyomatic from here on out and we know what that means, by the time we have symptoms somewhere else in our body its not usually good. I also have no breast tissue left in either breast so no mammo either its all self check, as if anything was to reoccur in the breast it would be close to the surface. There isnt a day that goes by that the thought doesnt pop into my mind BUT I just pray  and pray and say I am doing everything I can to prevent a reoccurance so it is out of my hands.. and have tried to  live my life better than before. I made a promise to myslef that I would come out of this better than when I went in on so many levels, emotionall, spirtually and physically, but as you know as we all know that is a challenge.

Exodus said it well I dont want life to pass me by.. a different approach.. The fact is we are all changed in some way or another.. The unkown is the scariest of I now believe that saying " ignorance is bliss" a year ago today I was ignorant didnt think it could happen to me too young etc.... well on the 22nd of this month the journey began,,,

I understand I dont blame you about the doc appts.. its so overwhelming.. I think part of my stress this month i sknowing I go back to the PS on the 24th had a nice 3 month break from alll of them,,, back to him another surgery here we go again.. I anxious because I will have to come off the Tam just when I have accepted and adjusting to it and start all over again... so it never ends.. lol

Enjoy your cruise you deserve it too!!

I have said before cancer is tough but we are tougher ladies!!!

wow did I go on and on and on!!!  sorry so long

hugs to you all!!!!

Off subject but humerous.  In December, 2009, I had a bmx.  The surgeon told me the number one complaint he had from patients was the loss of feeling/sensation.  It was a small price to pay.  Now to the funny part.  Numerous times I stood in the shower and actually looked down to make sure I had remembered to remove my bra!  I can't even tell if the water is hot or cold on my chest.  Chuckle, it is funny.

Jo and Alicia have a wonderful vacation.

Exodus...funny in a warped kind of way but I get it!

Jo...I have realized that despite my thinkin gI amnot thinking about BC recurrence etc...I am actually thinking about it ALL the time...I feel like my life is on old for 'after the june appointment' when I will know if it is in the other breast or I am in the clear....A lot riding on that mamogram....leave this city and move somewhere else and start again...or stay and downsize my job..just do teacher training and then go overseas and do it a few months a year..figure if I am 'alone' might as well do it where I was going to do it as a couple ...I feel like I am still stuck in my break up from my long term relationship and am not really focused on cancer per se....perhaps it is too scary...then again...we have lived through it...I have done more in the last 4 months than I have in ages...I am living every moment, appreciating the students and teachers I work with, taking advantage of e very musical moment that comes into my city....living life as full and as loudly (hear that Chevy!) as I can....but yeah....it is on my mind....constantly...from when I have to choose which bra to wear (ie. are the breasts tender today? aching ? or ready for the underwire?), to when I try and gauge my fatigue level to wondering where in the hell my energy went ....it is in my head....wish it weren't....but there you go.

Tink...I hear you and I get you....like you, I am 'only' on tamoxifen...people think my treatment is over and I respond...nope..that is why I wake up having medical induced hot flashes in the middle of the night...and I can count on this fo rthe next 5 years.....I had sworn I would not become my parents..reliant on medications to control my health...and here I am...a feeling sorry for sandee moment I think....while I am grateful that it is increasing my chances of no recurrence,,,,,I am also resentful....but trying to be more positive than anything....geeez

I get you too Tink! Definitely.

".......the only active treatment I have is the Tamoxifen. My onc has siad no scans tests or anything its all sympyomatic from here on out and we know what that means, by the time we have symptoms somewhere else in our body its not usually good. I also have no breast tissue left in either breast so no mammo either its all self check, as if anything was to reoccur in the breast it would be close to the surface."  ----- this is the same exact for me. Which I kinda wondered about myself.

I am still newly dx really but I sorta feel the same as chabba. Whirlwind for 5 months and now I'm starting to think more about it. Don't think it will ever really leave. How could it? Looming over us. But just have to do what we have to do!

Exodus....LOL at the bra/shower....yes, unfortunatley I totally know what you mean. I was kinda squishing my new foobs around, looking in the mirror and my hubby walked by and said, hey, maybe you shouldn't be doing that because you can't really feel them....might be doing something that would be hurting and you don't know! Ha, so true.

Lobster...your  east coast roots are showing Jo!

This train's dining car should be featured on Food Network!     Maybe Bobby Flay will challenge Jo to a throwdown!

Jo certainly wins hands down for presentation.

JUNE..I just dont know still no show... ugh... I am beginning to think I am gonna skip... but its wierd because I so feel like its here ... glad you were able to get away for a bit and are feeling better sometimes I think we need to run away... even if it is just for a short time... to regroup catch our breath, somedays are like that...

miss you too.....posted on your wall on fb

Boy!  I'm gone a few hours and you ladies are moving at a fast pace.  

So glad everyone enjoyed the dinner and thanks for all the votes.  

Sandee - I hate to tell you but I am not from the east coast - I am from the west coast - Southern California.

EastCoastGrl - I went through 5 monhs of whirlwind appts and it just now seems the dust is settling down.  I have a few more and then nothing for 2 months when I have the dreaded first mammo.

June - I have been playing the same record as you.  All the bills, scripts, wanting that clean report, etc.  I have to tell you, we have two mirrors in our bathroom and I refuse to get dressed in front of either one of them.  Still can't get myself to do that.  I stll have a bit of anger issues over this whole mess.  Time will heal that wound.

Well, I had a busy day at work, had to cook dinner for you wonderful ladies, ran out to a dinner meeting and now I am exhausted.  I am heading to bed

Good Night Tammy Girls 

OK I have a question about this recurrence thing when you have no breast tissue. When you say its under the skin, do you mean that it could not occur under the implant? Because I am thinking that if I ever get a recurrence, I am going with the full out double mas but I am wondering how they can check for recurrence under the implants?

Surfette ~ hmmm interesting to hear anyone's input on that one.  I have had several chest x-rays but I think that is looking in my lungs.  I think an mri is the only way to look under the implant.  Being I have silicone implants I believe they will be scheduling some of those for me every year or so to check for a ruptured implant.

Jo ~ so you still have your breasts?  Yes, it is truly out of our hands.  In my mind, I needed them gone.  My mother in law had a single mastectomy after it came back a second time - she is 20 years out from her first diagnosis, and my sister in law was a Stage 2 with 2 lumps and had just a lumpectomy (followed by chemo/rads)  She is on year 7 doing well.  So who knows.