how long before you let someone see you?

I too had a BMX. My DH helped with my bathing and drains so it seemed there was so much going on with my care from the start that he was just so involved. I do remember being self conscience, but he said it didn't look bad. I did have tissure expanders that had been filled in the OR so not totally flat. Believe it or not, it did get easier after that. I made it a point of not covering up if he came into the room and I was dressing or with out a top when I was in the bathroom getting ready for my day. It will work out if you let it. It really just takes time to adjust. Remember, he loves you.  By the way, love your photo with your fur baby. I have horses too.

My dh changed my dressings and took care of my drains. He went to all my doctors appts with me and watched in fascination as the doctor broke blisters onn my cancer side and removed my drains. On the flip side, it took me four weeks to look at myself head on in the mirror. I didn't even touch that area (my chest) for that amount of time, too. And to make me sound even stranger, I can only touch my chest through my shirt. Maybe I am still in denial and to touch them it will make this cancer stuff too real.

my husband saw my post-mastectomy boob the same time as me- as I woke up in the recovery room. The nurse satrted helping me out of the gown, then stopped as she realized that my hubby was there. It had an expander in and probably had 200cc's already in. He and I looked at it and we both agreed that it didn't look "that bad" at all.

He was also right in front of me when I was getting my hair buzzed as it was falling off. Right now 4 weeks post chemo bald, with sparse eyebrows and barely any lashes he still tells me I am beautiful. Every day I thank God for him and my kids...

My DH also helped with my drains.  Not because I couldn't do it, but because he needed to feel like he was doing something.  Helpless isn't in his vocabulary. He saw my chest the morning after my BMX.  I was in so much pain, I don't think he even reacted to what he saw.  I have to say, DH went with me for my initial appt. with my breast surgeon and it was soooo much more embarrassing for me to have him in the room while a male doc did a breast exam than it was to have him see me after the BMX.  Don't know why that bothered me, but it did.  He went with me to my post op exams and watched every thing the docs did and he was more than fascinated with the fill process.  He massaged my scars.  He does MLD massage.  He was so afraid he was going to lose me that he really needed to part of this process.  

Hi horse-n-around,

I had BMX no recon last July. I had my husband help me with drains and he saw me every day. I DID worry that he would have trouble finding me attractive again. But this has not been the case. Over time I have come to truly believe that I have other feminine features that he finds attractive. Our sex life is good again.

My two cents is : your hair, your smile, your eyes, the rest of your shape, your personality: those are beautiful features. Of course I wish I hadn't had to loose my breasts, but I am enjoying life pretty darn well without them, and my husband is too.

Good luck to you.

I agree that it's a personal choice,  I had a BMX 10/2010 and my DH's only comment was you are still you, and now you're cancer free.  He saw me the next morning, and helped with the drains and showering from the beginning.  I had TE's placed right away, and had my exchange last week.  Now he says I look great.  He is so supportive that I felt I could show him right away.

But just because I felt that way doesn't mean everyone should.  I would suggest you talk to your DH about it,  See if there is a way to get comfortable with this in time.  Otherwise it seems like this could become the "elephant in the room" for you.  You don't need another thing to worry about.  When you've had breast cancer there are always enough worries.

Best of luck to you.