OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid

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  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 4,352
    edited March 2011

    LadyinBama:  I hope this thread gives you the laughs to help you through your treatment and latest diagnosis.  god knows we all need a laugh.  Hell, I do some of the crazy health nut stuff we are making fun of but I need the laughs more then I need the vegis. 

    Salma:  OMFG!!!  You have got to be kidding me!!??  Of all the stoopid thingsa person can say, this has got to take the cake.  I now have a former friend who has now distanced herself because not only did I have the audacity to get a "boob job" but I also lost weight before getting them.  Stoopid is as stoopid does, I guess. Puff, puff and passing!

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  • Laurie09
    Laurie09 Member Posts: 313
    edited March 2011
    Oh, yes, the "Free Boob Job" perk of having breast cancer. Yell  If people only knew.  
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    Maybe the t-shirts for the "Race for the Cure for Stupidity" should have a big "S" on the front like Superman (only in this case it stands for Superstupid).  And those currently afflicted with the disease must wear them backwards and inside out either in a size 3 times too small or 3 sizes too big.  That way we would identify those suffering from the disease and those just there in support.  I think the ribbon should be multi-colored (because stupidity afflicts all races, creeds and colors) but must be worn upside down.

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited March 2011

    I think we should be given these Tshirts by our oncs/bs.  That way when they have a gift or advice for us, we can give them a shirt.

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  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 4,352
    edited March 2011

    Makraz:  Yes!!!  LOL!!  But we would have to buy soooooo many!!!

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  • hdangelbaby
    hdangelbaby Member Posts: 731
    edited March 2011

    ha! here's another stupid moment.

    i went in to home depot the day before yesterday ( it's where i work, and currently on LOA), to say hi to some friends, and get out of the house. the minute i walk in one of my co workers comes up to me and starts asking this and that, how ya doing, blah blah.. and then she asks when i am coming back. i tell her, "well, i have 3 weeks of chemo, then i get a month off, have all my scans done then, then it's 6 weeks of radiation. if i can get my energy back in that month off, i may come back 20 hours a week till radiation is done." she replies, as she puts her hand on my shoulder " you know, you are so lucky to have all this time off, you really shouldn't come back till you are all done."

    lucky?

    all done?

    really? D'OH!

    people just don't understand how badly we want to just go back to "normal" or our "new normal" and that having 5 months off work has not been anywhere near a  f***ing vacation by no means! Kicking Cancer's Ass, really and truely is, a full time job!

    i just keep looking for the "luckiness" and "being finished part" while I smoke my joint

    puff puff pass.....

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited March 2011

    Here's your shirt to give to your coworker, hdangel!  She deserves it. 

    puff puff pass......

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  • hdangelbaby
    hdangelbaby Member Posts: 731
    edited March 2011

    oh yeah, she does!!! but remember, i'm so lucky!!! and my cancer is almost done! lol!!!!

    some people's children..... Yell

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited March 2011

    Glad to hear your cancer is almost done.  I've been done for 2 years but have to constantly go to drs. take meds, have tests.......but yeah, it's done.  Maybe we should start a moron thread...

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  • hdangelbaby
    hdangelbaby Member Posts: 731
    edited March 2011

    oh yeah, we need two threads, one for stupidity, and one for morons. cause there are so many of them out there, we need to categorize them! or they all won't fit in the thread!!!!!

    oh and to add insult to injury, she wasnt the only one who thought i needed to wait till i'm 'all done" with "cancer",,,,,,,,,,,lol........ i think people are envious of my time off..... like really? want to trade places? go for it!!!

    that or they can't possibly figure out that i am going nuts at home with my 3 cats, and dying for social graces, even if it includes work! lol!! i get out and all, but working gives some of us a sense of self and normalcy!

    i didn't even TRY to explain that to the morons i was talking too.....

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  • Melanie_Ann
    Melanie_Ann Member Posts: 414
    edited March 2011

    Ok, so last night, I went to play bingo with a friend. As we were sitting there, she turned to me and said..."My mom got an email the other day...something about how Asparagus is supposed to be really good for someone going through chemo."

    I started laughing...until I cried, while she just looked at me like I was crazy. haha...I told her to have her mom send me the email...I haven't seen it! But I want to! 

    hdangelbaby- I completely know how you feel! As I'm sure a lot of us do...I can't believe she said that to you! People keep telling me I need to rest and take it easy and enjoy time spent at home...and I want to scream! I just want some socialization! I'm sooooooo bored at home! My job keeps telling me I don't have to work (which I do at home actually) and I tell them...If I don't, I'll go crazy, so please let me work! =)

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    Whe you get that Asparagus e-mail please share it with the rest of us.

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  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 626
    edited March 2011

    Melanie...that is SO funny about the aparagus advice! After being involved on this thread I would have fell off my chair laughing.

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  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 626
    edited March 2011

    So here's my story...

    Off I went today to get some groceries and load up on asparagus. Put on my HAIR and my little crocheted cap so when I tug at my wig people will think I'm just adjusting my hat. ( there's a tip for you all) I get to the store and they are all out of ASPARAGUS. It was on sale this week and there was only one lonely mauled and mangled bunch floating in the bin. Imagine my disappointment. And then I realized that this has GOT to be a conspiracy. THEY don't want us to have the cure..

    Either that or ya'll got there before me? *L*

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  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 626
    edited March 2011

    Last night I was talking to an old friend of my DH on the phone, explaining that I was going through chemo, blah blah blah and then he started talking about a local art exhibit I should go see but then asked me IF I COULD STILL WALK...Surprised

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited March 2011

    I think he deserves a STUPID T shirt too!

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  • JanetinVirginia
    JanetinVirginia Member Posts: 1,516
    edited March 2011

    Salma - now that is one of the STUPIDEST things I've ever heard.   We need Stupid Prizes. 

    BTW - you guys are smoking the asparagus stalks down way too low before you pass it.  I keep burning my fingers.  I'm lighting up a new stalk if I can figure out which end to light.   puff puff....pass.

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited March 2011

    Sorry about your burnt fingers.  I will pass more quickly.

    Puff pass!

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  • susan_02143
    susan_02143 Member Posts: 7,209
    edited March 2011

    60º in Boston today which means we are getting closer and closer to the wonderful Western Massachusetts asparagus season. These delicates signs of spring have a particularly long burn, and each year women do the "run of the asparagus cure" down the streets of South Hadley.

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  • GirlFriday
    GirlFriday Member Posts: 461
    edited March 2011

    Feeling inspired by the many ridiculous cures, I did a search in my junk email...I found this one for Honey and Cinnamon (Which also cures everything from acne to indigestion...Amazing!)

    CANCER: 
    Recent research in Japan and Australia has revealed that advanced cancer of the stomach and bones have been cured successfully. Patients suffering from these kinds of cancer should daily take one tablespoon of honey with one teaspoon of cinnamon powder for one month three times a day. 

    Has anyone else been abused by a Reliv person?  They say it can't cure anything, but gosh darn it when they took it they didn't have planter facshitis (sp?) or fibromialgia, or any health issues ever!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    Makraz - love the sign!

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  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 626
    edited March 2011
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011
    Emily- Love it!!!!Laughing
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  • Teal3Pink1
    Teal3Pink1 Member Posts: 109
    edited March 2011

    Best thread EVER! Thanks for the laughs! There should be a warning to wear Depends or grab some Bounty before reading all 20 pages in one sitting. 

    Too bad most stupidity is not terminal, just chronic. (Except for the Darwin award winners.)

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  • LadyinBama
    LadyinBama Member Posts: 1,132
    edited March 2011

    Vinegar too. It cures everything.

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  • Laurie09
    Laurie09 Member Posts: 313
    edited March 2011
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  • marjie
    marjie Member Posts: 1,134
    edited March 2011

    Do you think the Breast Cancer Mushrooms I saw in the produce dept...pink trays and everything...would help???

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited March 2011

    Only if you smoke them!

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  • dragonfly1
    dragonfly1 Member Posts: 766
    edited March 2011

    Stupidity is an absolute epidemic...I was at work today and a colleague started reading an article to me: "The sour sop fruit (guyabano) from the graviola tree is a miraculous natural cancer cell killer 10,000 times stronger than chemo" The article goes on to say "why are we not aware of this? It's because some big corporations want to make back their money spent on years of research by trying to make a synthetic version of it for sale" Wow! How did I miss that one? I could have avoided chemo completely? Too late now... I've never heard of this fruit and have certainly never eaten one-maybe that's why I got BC! We may be up against multiple conspiracies. The cure guy must have a lot of connections in these big corporations. I think we may be looking for a large network of people!

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  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 564
    edited March 2011
    A gardener friend of mine came up to me Saturday, excited to share with me that her asparagus was coming up - she didn't quite understand why I started cackling.  It's all this thread's fault that now she KNOWS I'm crazy.Smile  I'm not up to smoking, so I'll just pass without puffing.
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