Chemo June 2010

BON, lol, I am still laughing and definately switching to Dawn when, and if, I ever get enough hair to actually shampoo again.

MityMuffin, good for you for exercising.  I am walking the treadmill and riding my indoor bike but I sure notice how my muscles have wilted since all this nasty treatment.  I hope by summer to be feeling fit and healthy again, I hope.  The femara also makes some weird joint and muscle pains

DMom, I was relieved you sought a second opinion.  I was worried you might totally refuse hormone blockers and am glad you are reconsidering.  If you do start taking them, you can always quit.  No decision is forever...Your new MO sounds very kind. I went thru menopause 7 years ago so knocking out the rest of the estrogen was not a big deal to me.  I think it is much different for premenopause women as it makes a drastic change for them. Hang in there, you will make the right decision for yourself. My hubby and I now get up and shave together everymorning. Such a romantic thing.............

Sherry, that's great news, you are hungry and gaining weight!  Except for the joints, can I stop worrying about you all the time? You have had a very rough road with this treatment. I am so glad you are doing better.

Chey, It is good to have a place to feel safe.  The other women on this board are so fantastic.  Just don't phone Bon to talk, she will just fall asleep on you. (wearing her pearls of course) Good luck on Thursday. 

Love and Hugs to all, Mimi    p.s., we still have not planned our pajama party, I SO WANT to meet all of you.

Like mimi,  I'm sick and tired of thinking about and dealing with cancer.  It never seems far away, ever!  Today I went to my yoga class for cancer survivors.  I have become friendly with a young girl who is in town being treated at Sloane.  She has some kind of nasty blood cancer and is very young, probably in her 20s.  When I asked her if she would be in NYC for the summer, she avoided looking at me and said she didn't know.  I immediately realized she might mean that she did not know whether she would be here at all.  Oh dear God, I hate this cancer!  I just don't understand why there has to be so much suffering.  Sorry ladies, not having a very optimistic day.

toni30, I also got a bill for about the same amount for rads.  They charged me $40 a day for 33 treatments and for the dr appts.  I have secondary insurance, so I should be charged very little.  It irritates me to no end when dr offices can't bill correctly!!! 

Hi Sandiddstn,

I have been on Femara, much the same as arimidex, since Dec.07.  I was like you, scared to death.  I have to say that aside from some mild night sweats, a little crying occasionally it hasn''t been too bad.Go ahead and give it a try.  You can always quit and try something else.  Remember how terrified we were of chemo?  It wasn,t that great but we got thru.  I find the AI's to be the easiest of all the treatments.  Good luck and let us know how you do.

Love and Hugs, Mimi

Thanks Mimi and Grney....  Don't know why this is driving me crazy but it is...So glad you all doing ok on it, it gives me hope.:)...The aches and pains I think I can handle if not to bad, after all I am in my 50's...but the no energy,  now that is another thing...  Going to take pill 2 today and not think about it... as for the weight gain... man I don't need that cause I am over weight now can't afford any more.  Will try to get outside today cause it is a pretty day here in Tennessee...  soak up some vit. D LOL...  Thanks again ladies.. you all are great... don't know you but feel like I do... Prayers to all..

Also, I met a 94 year old lady this week that is in a Retirement Home and has been for 16 yrs.  She has no family near and what she has is only 1 grandson in PA and his two daughters and 2 cousins in FLA.   She is in SC.  She was a very sharp and funny lady for her age and it made me sad to think she is virtually all alone.  I have asked permission to visit her there on occasion.   She was just diagnosed with BC and I don't want her to feel no one cares.   It sure is sad and seems vey unfair to live so long and then have BC but it is better than having it younger I suppose.   I wish I could spare her this.   Sorry to post something so sad but felt compelled to share with those that would understand!!!!!    Ginny

Anybody experiencing 'lumps' after radiation?  I have a small lump (about the size of a pea), on the breast which had the malignancy.  I see my oncologist next week, but I am kind of freaking out about this!  I don't want to go through this again....

Janny- It is probably nothing, but I would freak out too. Good to have it looked at.  Sand - I have been on Arimidex for a month with no problems. The only SE was that the first few weeks when I woke up my fingertips were tingly (not to be confused with the neuropathy I still have in my toes from the chemo)  But it has subsided.  I have no other SEs, but people recommend exercise if you have joint pain.  I feel like it's an insurance medicine, so I'm actully happy to take it.  Anyway, that's the way my onc pitched it.  Hey June Sisters - I found the perfect way to get your  mind off of breast cancer - have a colonoscopy!  I had one  (my first ) today and it was not bad but I have been obsessing for 3 days, with the prep and everything. Nary a thought of breast cancer.  LOL!

Hi big sisters, everything went great!!! the lump is nothing my new ONC says!! yay!!! wow what a difference with this office!! they are so nice and caring, we talked for an hour before she did my exam. a very sweet girl named Erin was my decision helper, she was the one who called me to help me get questions together, she was in the room taking notes for me. what a great program!! my new ONC promised i would not get the same treatment here that i did at solace it was a good day!! now just  to get sister thru her biopsy next Monday, one day at a time..

Dmom,you have been so strong for me now im sending strength to you!! i love you!! its so horrible this cancer!!!

toni,your funny! im young for a colonoscopies but but beings cancer does not discriminate, as we all know, im going to set one up,my everyday DR whom i love im sure will let me do it. it will be a good thing to do for myself.

hey i think we all should pick a month and have all those medical things done together, bon ill bet you could come up with a fun name for our cancer free june chemo sisters club?

gin, i have always had a special place in my heart for the elderly, i think of my grandmother. im so glad your going to spend time with her..

Tmarinaits 10:14 pm and i have picked out my blue for tomorrow as i read your post, my sis and i are going to paint our toes and nails blue tonight, hehehe just for you

mimi,hahaha, i bet bon looks beautiful in pearls, asleep or not,lol

hey has anyone heard from latte? i pray she is well,

 love to all of you

chey

Chey...doing the HAPPY DANCE for you now, wearing my pearls, of course!  So glad the lump is 'nothing to worry about' and that you are comfortable with your new doc, getting good care and support.

Tina, I will wear blue in your honor today.  You are a true tower of strength and a very inspirational woman. I'm so happy that you are enjoying your time off and feeding your spirit.

DMom...I think we've all had trouble in dealing with what comes next...the next drug, next scan, next surgery, or nothing at all. It's so difficult to know what the right thing is to do, how to do it and how to get through it.  I keep trying not to dwell on the past year and look ahead...but my crystal ball is cloudy and I am having a difficult time making any kind of plans. Not just plans for medical stuff, but plans for life. There is a wonderful Yiddish expression that when translated means 'Man thinks and God laughs'. I've also heard it as 'Want to see God laugh? Make a plan.'  I have become less structured with my calendar and more 'take it as it comes' in my approach to things right now. Which is probably why I find myself with piles of paper and dust an inch thick all over the house. And I have that house guest arriving next Thursday...UGH, more vacuuming with pearls later today. (I'll keep the vent on the handle closed).

Sherry and Jackie...Fingers crossed that RA tests are negative.You have both been through enough already.

Janny...praying that everything is A-OK.

Sandiddstn...Glad you got out in the sun, soaked up some vitamin D, and probably felt invigorated, too. I stopped the other day long enough to let the sun beat on my face for a couple of minutes and it gave me an energy and mood boost. I just have to see the sun to feel alive. Probably because I grew up in a place where it almost never shone. I an a transplant to Florida for that very reason. Sunshine is a wonderful thing.

Toni...I was supposed to have a colonoscopy before all this BC stuff started so now I know there is one just around the corner for me. The fun never stops!

Ginny...sounds just like you to 'adopt' an older woman in crisis who is all alone. I pray for blessings to you for your kindnesses and to her for a painless future, whatever it will be and for however long. It isn't fair to be that old and have to deal with this bc #%*@.

Mimi...a pj party in Hawaii sounds great but don't know if I can afford the air fare with all the medical bills I'll be facing after this is all over. I do think that somehow we all should meet. By then, Chey...I will try to think of a name for this group as cancer free, not just chemo queens.

Kitty and Joan and Mitty ...how are things? Who have I missed? Speak up if I missed you. I do read the posts and just am sometimes overwhelmed between work, fighting with insurance companies and trying to 'pay it forward' or even paying back friends who helped me so much last year.

Update from my side: UHC has demanded refund from ONC, radiologist and cardiologist and Hospital where my heart cath was done in December. They gave the OK, then later on, in January, said coverage ceased on 12/1, not 1/1...so over $50k in bills will be mine! Now you see why I think I can't pay for a trip to Hawaii?  On Wednesday I sat with my friend who had her BMX that day and they had to keep her in an extra day due to a leaking vein which caused blood to build up in the breast area. Had to use compression to get swelling down and bleeding to stop. Now they are weaning her off IV pain meds but she is snowed with oral pain meds and benadryl plus sleep meds. Too much...she wants no pain at all, not one twinge. I don't think that's possible with bmx but she has to climb that part of the mountain herself, My high school friend is having her surgery next Wednesday, the 9th. Feel surrounded by bc right now. I hate having new women enter our 'club'. I sure didn't want to be here but if I had to do this journey, I am sincerely glad that I got to do it with each of you.  HUGS ALL AROUND!  Bon

Bon-  Bless you, my friend.  You always remember each and every one of us, even though your own plate is overflowing.  Dang those insurance companies!  Does Florida have an insurance commissioner?  I say call the media and get some attention on this insurance company and shame them into doing the right thing, not just local Florida journalists, national ones.  Do you want us all to e-mail the network news anchors to shine some attention on the problem?  I mean it.  I bet if dozens or hundreds of BC women e-mailed Diane Sawyer someone would do a story and maybe the insurance company would behave.  Can you tell I am a child of the 60s?  I'm having a flashback of standing in front of the draft buses taking young men away to fight in Vietnam!!  Where are my beads and fringe vest???

toni-  You have me laughing.  The things we must do to get our minds of BC!!  I have to schedule my first colonoscopy too.  It will have to wait until after I have my ovaries removed, which is looking more and more likely.  Jeez, I feel like I am in a bad science experiment!

cheyenne-  YEAH!  You took charge and found a caring, wonderful medical team who is going to take great care of you!

tina-  I am so glad you are taking some personal time to heal and get strong again inside and out.

I totally agree that we should all try to get together for a "hallelujah, we survived treatment" reunion.  I'm sure lots of us have financial issues after this year, but I bet we can figure it out.  If we can't afford Hawaii, what about Florida next winter, near Bon??  Isn't Florida hungry for tourists, especially on the Gulf side where the oil spill was?  Maybe we could get a great deal at an empty resort?  

If I am forgetting anyone, my apologies.  It's a wonder I remember to buy toilet paper these days ...better go check it.

oh ladies, even in the midst of trouble you find a way to make me laugh.  Thanks for wearing blue today!

Bon--if there was something I could do to help you I would.  I will for sure pray for you...

Chey--SO GLAD you found a great onc!!  I love mine, but your's sounds even better!  Good for you!

I suppose I should get some cleaning done too..somehow I thought not working would equal a clean house.  Silly me...

Hi Gals,

Latte is around and posting on other boards more relevent to what her treatment is.  I believe she has an ooph coming up very soon.  What say we each p.m. her to wish her well?

Geez, Florida in springtime sounds wonderful for a reunion. It doesn't matter what the weather, or where we are.  I just want to meet each of you and give a hug of thanks.

Chey, yeah! your new team sounds great.  That was a good decision to change.

Love and Hugs, Mimi

Is anyone else having trouble concentrating? I just can't seem to 'stay on task' and am like a kid with ADD. I start to do one thing and get waylaid by ten others. Consequently, lots of stuff goes undone. I have been working in real estate OK and helping my friend with her bc journey, but not much else. The house is a mess, all kinds of papers are piling up on every flat surface, and I haven't even touched the vacuum cleaner today. If I get a spare moment I just sit and stare. Sometimes I stare into space, sometimes at the TV...same thing, right? I had been reading, knitting boa scarfs out of eyelash yarn (what color do you want? I'll make one for each of you), but I don't even take the time to do that anymore. I am playing scrabble on the iPhone with a couple of friends but I'm not doing anything really productive and feel like my mind races at 70MPH.  Maybe it's depression, maybe just being overwhelmed. But I feel scattered and shattered. I can't remember names or how to spell. The other day I couldn't spell my dogs name or remember the name of my dental hygienist. Do you think this is part of chemo brain or am I just losing it?... Losing what? Who's on first?

Bon--It sounds like chemo brain combined with stress.  Try to find things you enjoy doing--watching nature, walks on the beach, etc, and relax.  Set a timer to tackle a pile of papers for 15 minutes.  You will feel like you've done something productive!  I am still struggling with fatigue--my brain (and body!) checks out about 3 every afternoon!

Latte--the guidelines are to have your first colonoscopy at 50. If you have ANY changes in bowel habits or blood in the stool then get one done regardless of age.  I was 45 when my tumor was found--I put off talking to my doc about it for 18 months, assuming it was IBS or colitis.

If those of you that are younger have changes in bowel habits, don't let your doc assume it is something else due to your age.  Insist on getting a colonoscopy.  There are too many stories of people in their 20's and 30's who found the colon cancer too late because their docs thought they were too young.  Feel free to PM me with any questions or concerns!