My Fellow Deletees and The Cyberbullied Sisters

1Athena1
1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696

My donation is a pittance as donations go, but I hope it's a start.

Melissa, our moderator, informs us that making much needed reforms to BCOs automatic moderation features will cost the usual - time and money. Can't help with the time, but maybe a brass farthing here and there will come in handy.

May this fund help to create a place of safety and transparency for women and men who come here because of a grave illness and want to laugh and cry together about any topic under the sun in addition to cancer. May it be used to set up any such programming language, technology and personnel as might be needed to ensure that rules are clear, well understood and respected, that tolerance is shown and that self-policing features like the "Report this Post" buttom are employed wisely and not in the furtherance of abuse, bigotry, hatred and cyberbullying.

This forum belongs to all of us and it is what we make of it. Hopefully, we can help Melissa and others to create a system that is lightfooted but stealthy and simple but effective.

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Comments

  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 6,099
    edited March 2011

    Hear, hear!  (What Athena said.)

  • Medigal
    Medigal Member Posts: 1,412
    edited March 2011

    Athena:  Are you requesting we all give donations to Melissa??  How is that going to stop the group who she said sends her all the PMs tataling on us?  Frankly, I would like to see Melissa show us and explain to us in what way she is able to uncover these sick people and stop them.  I can see no reason, on my part, to donate to something I may not be a part of in the near future if this can't be stopped.  If she does stop it then I would like to see us send whatever we can afford to keep our thread alive.  But first things first, imo.

  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 6,099
    edited March 2011

    Medigal, I decided to follow Athena's lead and cough up some cash as a pay-it-forward gesture.  She, of all people, has felt the stings of the deleters.  In the post I never made this afternoon, I was going to say those barbs were analogous to the picadillos (or banderillias) in a bullfight.  But, if Athena thinks it's worth the investment and the risk, I'm game.  Nobody else has to follow.

    I'll pay-it-forward, yes.  But tomorrow I am also going to pay some back.  One of my May '08 chemo sisters died last month, and her memorial service is tomorrow.  I can't make it to the service; so, in addition to the "Healing Garden" she and her family favored, I plan to toss a few more dollars to BCO.  I never would have met Dana and my other May '08 sisters if it had not been for these discussion boards.

    As angry as I get about the other stuff -- the childishness, and the bullying -- I still have a fondness for these discussion boards and this site, because of what I've gained from them over the past 3 years.  I will walk away some day, but not today. 

    otter

  • crazy4carrots
    crazy4carrots Member Posts: 5,324
    edited March 2011

    I'll make another donation too. I'd also like to add that this is about the only site I go to that doesn't have paid adverts. This idea was broached by the Moderators a year or so ago, and I'm afraid most people who responded to the suggestion, responded negatively.

    But we need to be realistic, folks. BCO can't rely on the whims of its "members" to throw a little money its way. If we really want this site to continue functioning, and in the very best way possible, it needs to have some steady income.

    Don't yell at me if you disagree with me about some discreet ads, please! Just consider what this site means to you, and what it takes to keep it going.

    Thanks all!

    Linda



    Like Otter, I've made many treasured friends here. They know who they are, so consider my donation in their honour!

  • pickle
    pickle Member Posts: 1,409
    edited March 2011

    Count me in!

    So glad that everyone who was deleted is back on line.

    Cheers

    Beth

  • Wabbit
    Wabbit Member Posts: 1,592
    edited March 2011

    I don't suppose there is any way we can start a fund and just hire a geek squad for them for a week or so to get these program changes made? 

  • Lowrider54
    Lowrider54 Member Posts: 2,721
    edited March 2011

    1Athena1, my fellow loving the B cups friend....I could not agree more!  And Otter...the friends we have here - I would be lost without these boards - really lost.  No one gets it like my fellow sisters. 

    I can be very strong in my opinions too - but generally, I don't get rattled enough to 'Report a Post' but rationally try to work it out. 

    I purchase the BCO stuff and will make this a part of my now referred to as 'The Rebel Walk in the Komen 3 Day'. 

    Melissa is not the only moderator but she does field pretty much the majority of the PM's.  God Bless her - she sure must get a passle of 'on the rag' type rantings. 

    I was not around for the ads - but I would not object to a few discreet and bc appropriate ads - such as external prothestics, mascetomy clothing, hospice care, LE sleeves, wig shops, specialty scarves, port accessories - things we actually use, we are a prime source for that type of marketing and a very 'captive' audience which could mean good money for very little ad space - and for newbies, it would be a great thing and keep it minimal so that the money taken in is just what BCO needs to keep moving forward.  I think we would have to allow a few freebies like where to recycle your external prothesis or LE sleeves or wigs. 

    Just my thoughts...LowRider

  • crazy4carrots
    crazy4carrots Member Posts: 5,324
    edited March 2011

    Great ideas, Lowrider!

    Rabbit, on the ball with another good idea, as usual!

    Pickle, so GLAD to see you back with us!  We Canucks can't use the receipt for our taxes, but so what!

  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 6,099
    edited March 2011

    lindasa, those of us in the U.S. can't use a charitable donation as a tax deduction either, unless we itemize our deductions (on "Schedule A").  There's no point itemizing deductions if the total dollar value is less than the "standard deduction" would be.  (Can you tell I'm still working on our taxes?)

    You're right, though -- so what!

    otter

  • Maire67
    Maire67 Member Posts: 768
    edited March 2011

    Not bullied but  I left because there is another site that took my posts and used them as their own.     BUT.....I will donate in honor of all the sisters I met here  especially those who are no longer here.  I hope that this site will be here to help others like it helped me. It was the humor and the support that made all the difference in my life.  

  • Shrek4
    Shrek4 Member Posts: 1,822
    edited March 2011

    As a web developer who also has quie a few websites out on the market, I can tell you approximately how much a website like BCO incurs in monthly costs. For this high number of members it has to have a private server, and depending on the hosting provider, it could be anywhere from $200 to $400 a month. Anything above that would be a ripoff. The software platform used is of a type that doesn't use too many resources in terms of server, mostly it would be the space taken by all the forums themselves and the members profiles, as well as the bandwidth.

    As for hiring people to do the necessary changes - that wouldnt' be THAT bad. Very easy to find someone on Elance to do them for a very affordable price.

    A few advertisements, as long as they are targeted for what we need, would be acceptable. Heck, even a Google AdSense module or two - from my experience, that only and it would cover the costs, and the ads are targeted on the keywords (words most frequently found in the forum), so things that we probably would find of interest. Also, when setting the Adsense module, lots of things can be tweaked so it would only bring ads related to what we are interested in.

  • BarbaraA
    BarbaraA Member Posts: 7,378
    edited March 2011

    Count me in. Doing my donation this morning. I agree that targeted ads would help a lot to defray the costs. I vote go for it!

  • River_Rat
    River_Rat Member Posts: 1,724
    edited March 2011

    I think targeted ads would be fine.  I would also be willing to donate if I saw something being done but after reading old threads and seeing how long this has been going on I'm not comfortable donating money until I hear of a plan.

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited March 2011

    Thank you very, very much to those of you who have donated to BCO in the name of improving the community!! That was extremely generous, and gracious of you!! 

    Warmest and sincerest thanks from our BCO Team. 

  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited March 2011

    bump!

    I told myself I wouldn't post on this thread again unless I was able to give a second donation....which I am afraid is not the case at the moment... However, in recognition of deleter Fridays and unmoderated weekends, it is a good idea to write a bit of my usual tripe to get atop the active topics list.

    Actually, I was hoping our dedicated funding will help us to avoid having to put up with advertising.

    So let's hear it for a moderation fund to see if the problems that people say have been going on for years can finally be addressed with everyone's help. I totally understand the skepticism - I am a natural skeptic, but on the other hand, if we don't give it a try and see whether we can contribute something towards the effort, we shouldn't complain.

    Anyone have any ideas about how we would call this fund? I can think of all sorts of law-enforcement-related terms or terms going from the silly to the soppy. The Justice For All Fund, or the BCO in the Sunshine Fund (as in "government in the sunshine")...or simply, the BCO Community Forum Moderation Fund. Bleh - not feeling imaginative today.

  • ADK
    ADK Member Posts: 2,259
    edited March 2011

    Ah, you got me.  I donated to help make this a safe place for all of us.  Thank you Athena for starting this.

  • palaminoridesagain
    palaminoridesagain Member Posts: 241
    edited March 2011

    A good friend reminded me of my name because I changed it so many times lol.  It's me, it's chemosabi. March 3rd was my birthday and my doctors told me they didn't think I would be here for my birthday.  Stage 4 ya with brain mets now.  The devil must have lured me here and thanks for getting a good laugh out of me.  Melissa even you.  I can't even fathom the amount of women that bco has helped in the last 6 years.  Thank you.

    And hello to Otter, LIndasa and all my friends.

  • palaminoridesagain
    palaminoridesagain Member Posts: 241
    edited March 2011

    Just saying hello I deleted that post myself.

    Nicki 

  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited March 2011

    Bump.  And a check's in the mail, so to speak.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    Well at least one site will be safe

  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited March 2011

    Safe from what?

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    Dearest innocent Blue

    Safe from you and your cronies  DUH !!!!

    You all are putting on quite a show today- i love humor

  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited March 2011
  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited March 2011

    Ok, if you're going to fight here, can you at lesat donate? Pretty please? For your right to fight, amongst other things...

  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited March 2011

    I hope you guys have proof with regards to your allegations because, if not, you could be opening yourselves up to a can of worms. Proof please.

  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited March 2011

    My check will be in the mail.

  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited March 2011

    Erica, this is serious.  It's not a game.  I don't like what's being said.  Have you ever thought that law enforcement may be involved already.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011
    YES I BELIEVE IT MAY WELL BE.  You dam right it is serious, hypo
  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited March 2011

    Well in that case I have no worries.  But if you all are not careful, you may end up with a few.

    Edited to add:  would be wise to delete that whole thread until you have your facts and proof.  I'm glad you enjoyed my humour!

  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited March 2011

    Erica -

    I reported your last two posts for violating the following rule:

    "You agree not to defame, abuse, harass, stalk, threaten or otherwise violate the legal rights of others."

    E

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