Remind me of the hopeful stories

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elmcity69
elmcity69 Member Posts: 998
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

Hi ladies,

I swore I wouldn't come crying to the boards, but I'm falling apart today. Just had a routine PET scan and the suspense is debilitating. My onc felt fine waiting until after my prophylactic MX March 25th, but I insisted.

I just feel doomed, despite throwing the kitchen sink (4 rounds A/C, 1 year Herceptin, 6weeks' radiation, oophorectomy, Arimidex, and Taxol) at this thing and doing quite well. I have amazing support - I am a lucky gal. But today I'm lost in despair and just need some reminders that many of us survive and thrive.

thanks. I keep this community in prayers of gratitude!

xo

janyce 

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  • jennyboog
    jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
    edited March 2011

    We all have them, I never know why or when but they sure show up without warning.  I go read the 5 years+ thread sometimes when I need a little hope.  I hate that we have to go down this road, waiting for results are the worse.  Sherrig, is like 5 1/2 years, along with many more.  Hang in there. 

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  • everyminute
    everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
    edited March 2011

    Check the 5 years plus board and the sucess stories board.

    Personally I know :

    1 woman who is 11 years out - stage 3 - Patty

    1 woman who is 6 years out - stage 3 (went on to have another child after chemo) - Amy

    1 woman who is 15 years out - stage 3 - Kay

    1 woman who is 23 years out - stage 3 - Karen

    And I met a woman the other day who is 30 years out - stage 3 - Sharon

    Just repeat their names over and over.

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  • Celtic_Spirit
    Celtic_Spirit Member Posts: 748
    edited March 2011

    Okay, here's two stories that got me through some dark days:

    * Writer Susan Sontag was diagnosed with breast cancer in the mid-1970s at age 42. She had 31 positive nodes. Her doctors at Sloan-Kettering said she had virtually no hope. She lived another 30 years, dying at age 71 of a blood cancer.

    * My boyfriend's Aunt Evelyn was diagnosed with stage III bc in her late 40s. She had a unilateral mastectomy--no chemo, no radiation, no tamoxifen, etc. She eats whatever in the heck she wants and doesn't exercise. She's now in her mid-80s and doing great!

    I remember that despair. It's a nasty place to be. Hang in there...you will get through this.

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  • americanpinay
    americanpinay Member Posts: 338
    edited March 2011

    I hate, hate, hate scans. I agree, waiting for scan/test results can be debilitating. Heck, this whole BC experience can be debilitating if you let it. Sometimes, the only thing that helps me is knowing how many of our Stage 4 sisters are thriving. Thriving not just surviving this awful disease. I hang on to my onc's words that there is an arsenal of treatment options should I need them.

    Hang in there. Take care.

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  • clariceak
    clariceak Member Posts: 752
    edited March 2011

    So sorry you are feeling stressed.  Scananxiety is the worst.  But so glad you came here for support. The Stage III 5+ years out thread is my go to thread when things look dark. There are so many amazing women on that thread and remember BC.org has only been around for 10 years so many more women are living but have no reason to post here.

    You may be Stage III, but you really have done so much to combat this disease and have used options that aren't typically reflected in statistics. Zometa, preventative ooph, and herceptin come to mind.

    We're all here for you.  No need to apologize for a very human reaction to an incredibly stressful situation.  Tomorrow will be better. 

    . 

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited March 2011

    There are a couple of articles I keep around for when the crazies strike. This one always seems to reassure me (and it is 5 years old)

    http://www.pslgroup.com/dg/25a522.htm 

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  • Elizabeth1959
    Elizabeth1959 Member Posts: 346
    edited March 2011

    KerryMac

    I just looked up that article.  That is so encouraging.  I would like to see a similiar poster regarding 16 cm tumors.  I've never even read of anyone with a tumor as large as mine.  I still think it is significant to see something with better survival statistics for stage III women.  The ones you can look up on line stink. 

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  • elmcity69
    elmcity69 Member Posts: 998
    edited March 2011

    WOOHOO! just got the call from my doc - scan is CLEAN! Thank you God, science, all of the above!

    thank you ladies, one and all, from the bottom of my heart.

    Everyminute, KerryMac, CelticSpirit, thank you for the stories.

    Sherri, you never fail to get me motivated and upbeat - I can't thank you enough!

    Clariceak, thanks for the reassurance around tx. At the time, you feel overwhelmed, but once it's over, you think, hmm, did I REALLY finish the laundry list?!

    It's a victory, and I intend to celebrate every one, because as we all know, it's precious.

    love,

    Janyce

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  • YATCOMW
    YATCOMW Member Posts: 664
    edited March 2011

    Hey Janyce

    I am the poster child I think for stage 3....like you ILC....but I got you beat with at least 17 nodes positive and an 8 CM tumor......coming up on lucky 7 (years).

     Hang in there....I know easier said than done....but look at all these ladies doing so well and many years out.....you will too.

    Jacqueline

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  • diana50
    diana50 Member Posts: 2,134
    edited March 2011

    i think that having hope is something that we do. some days better then others.  my experience of this is that the early stages of treatment and recovery...you are praying...and hoping..and it takes so much out of you because you are scared to death. 

    no one knows what our indivicual outcome will be. that is the part of all of this that rocks out world.

     HOWEVER

    there are many of us doing well. the treatments are good....invasive..difficult...but in many cases...rids the body of cancer cells.

    i think that you have to take it one day at a time; know that your onc is doing all they can , you will do what you can (exercise...eat good...take care...rest)  never get so far ahead of yourself that you think you will relapse.  you can spend a lot of wasted time and energy on this fear and you may not relapse.

    i am 9 years out. i prayed for 4 years..i remember clearly doing that. my energy is spend on enjoying each day...being in the moment and not getting too far ahead.

    scans are a nightmare. you worry and worry. ( i even worried when they were clear that they missed something...hah) 

    hang in there. we are here for you. never give up. hope is real**

    d

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  • americanpinay
    americanpinay Member Posts: 338
    edited March 2011

    Congrats Janyce!  Woohoo! Cheers!

    YATCOMW...Congrats on 7 years!

    Diana50...Hooray for 9 years!

    I love, love, love success stories! Take care ladies! 

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited March 2011

    Great to hear Janyce!! Thrilled for you!

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  • DCMom
    DCMom Member Posts: 624
    edited March 2011

    I've been so busy living I missed this.  Janyce I am so happy for clean scans for you!  You are right it is a victory.  Time to celebrate every moment and taking every moment to celebrate time.  

    Guess that makes this party central...

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  • anonymice
    anonymice Member Posts: 532
    edited March 2011

    Remember that there are no breast cancer statistics that are accurate on the web anymore, unless you choose no treatment!  Survival studies take years to report, and women are living MUCH longer now with our new treatments...the great progress they've made in the last 5 yrs won't start showing up in stats for more than a decade.  But we know, anecdotally, that women are living longer and longer.

    Personally, because I'm "new" at this, I only know two new BC survivors that I've met in person.  Both are stage IV,  One was diagnosed 25 yrs ago and is now 10 yrs NED, and the other is 6 yrs, 4 yrs NED.  

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  • anonymice
    anonymice Member Posts: 532
    edited March 2011

    Congrats Janyce!!  WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!!

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  • Annie62
    Annie62 Member Posts: 1,081
    edited March 2011

    My favorite story. One of my older sister's best friends (who I've know since I've been 4 years old and they were in college together) was dx at age 32. Had a uni-mastectomy, chemo and I think rads. Tamoxifen for 5 years. She is now 63 years old, has never had a recurrence and saw her then 2 year old daughter grow up , graduate college and get married. I don't know her stage. Now we have more and better chemo options , AI's etc to help keep the beast at bay.

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  • jennyboog
    jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
    edited March 2011

    Congrats on the good news! 

    @SherriG...sorry, blame it on the chemo Embarassed....that's even more motivation 6 1/2 yrs!

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  • faithfulheart
    faithfulheart Member Posts: 544
    edited March 2011

    Yeah Janyce!!!

    I am soooo happy for you! I hate scans there the worst!!

    I have a friend dx stage 3c big tumor lots of nodes more then me. She has been NED for nine years now. She said  to me the other day,  I know the dr's won't come out and say I am cured, but,

    Its just somthing you know!!!  Theres so much hope!!

    Everyone Have an awsome day!  Lets celebrate for Janyce!!

     Hugss

    Stephanie

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  • sandiddstn
    sandiddstn Member Posts: 88
    edited March 2011

    Glad I came across this page...  I really really really needed to hear these stories.   I started Arimidex today and so scared.. don't know why, did bilateral mastectomy, chemo, rads now a little white pill is making me crazy...

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  • clariceak
    clariceak Member Posts: 752
    edited March 2011

    Janyce - I'm so happy for you! Enjoy your clear scan and the comfort it brings, but don't hesitate to come back whenever the anxiety hits hard. This is the best place to be. Hugs.

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  • azs40
    azs40 Member Posts: 99
    edited March 2011

    I just want to say that I consider myself so fortunate to be part of this bc community. I don't post often, but I check-in about twice a week and am always appreciative of the support and hope and courage of everyone here. I'm glad I have you.

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  • anonymice
    anonymice Member Posts: 532
    edited March 2011

    Sandi, I was just talking to someone today....when I changed my chemo regimen to Taxol and Herceptin from Adriamycin/Cytoxan I got scared.  Since I have IBC I could *see* the A/C working.  So when those symptoms disappeared, I got nervous because I don't have a benchmark anymore.  Instead of doing cartwheels down the street about my retreating cancer, I'm worried because now I can't tell what's happening!  How messed up is that, lol?

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  • vmudrow
    vmudrow Member Posts: 846
    edited March 2011

    Janyce - GREAT NEWS!  My mother at age 60 had a walnut sized tumor removed, 22 of 24 lymph nodes were positive, dr told my dad that it wasn't a good diagnosis.  Well, it has been 21 years and she has had no recurrence and is doing great!!

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  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited March 2011

    Janyce,

    Well, I think I'm a hopeful story.  So far, so good!  And you can look through the history here and see lots of times where I thought for sure something was going on.  I think the only way to get through this is to live for today. I know that's hard for you right now, but no one, not even anyone who's not dealing with this stuff is assured of tomorrow, period.  They're just more naive...

    We'll help you through this.

    Big Hugs

    Bobbie

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  • Kindergarten
    Kindergarten Member Posts: 4,869
    edited March 2011

     this is such a great thread with many encouraging stories and hope for us all. Even though, I am 6 and 1/2 years out, I still get worried and scared, but I know there are so  many of us feeling this way and I know I can come here for support. Janyce, so glad to hear your great news. Celebrate and enjoy. God bless you, Kathy

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  • motherofpatient
    motherofpatient Member Posts: 240
    edited March 2011

    Where is the 5 years and out thread and how do I bump it up?

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited March 2011

    Its a pinned topic, right at the top of the Stage III forum topic lists.

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  • jennyboog
    jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
    edited March 2011

    @ sandiddstn...I was the same way, I so scared to take this tiny pill, after all I had been through, it was crazy.  I've been on arimidex for 2 mths now and I'm doing ok with it.  Muscle aches and feet hurt in the morning and I'm wondering if it's making my GERD worse but other than that I'm tolerating it ok.  Now I freak when I don't take it (they took me off in hospital for BMX). Smile

    @ paminwv...I had IBC also and could see the AC working, then I started taxotere and saw nothing. So I had a few freak out moments over that...it's crazy what we get nervous over.

    These stories are awesome and needed.

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  • anonymice
    anonymice Member Posts: 532
    edited March 2011

    Thanks so much for sharing that, Jenny, it makes me feel so much better that others have felt the same way.  It's just so irrational a feeling but...there it is.  

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  • sandiddstn
    sandiddstn Member Posts: 88
    edited March 2011

    jenny...You are right, it is crazy about the little things that freak us out.  Sooo glad you are not having bad SE on arimidex it gives me HOPE..:)   I am so tired of se', and feeling bad..  I guess I will take pill #2 today and not think to much about it ( as if)... It is a pretty day here in Tennessee so I may go out in work in flower beds...  This may sound stupid, but what is GERD?  

     Keep the stories coming ladies... It does make us newbie feel better...  

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