anyone starting chemo in Nov 2005

Just want to say Merry Christmas to all. I have been off the boards and just came by to catch up. ( Lots of tears rolled till this post ) I just love this group

I will have my #4 treatment on the 27th due to the holidays. This last treatment was rough, my stomach was just turning.

I didn't get sick, but close. I also have the worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever had, and can't go to the bathroom very well at all. Even with a Lax/stool softener.

I have been eating veggies and drinking plenty of fluids. I will have to talk to my onc about this next visit.

I can't wait for Christmas to come, it has such a new meaning for me this year. I want to go to church and really take in the moment. I'm sure there will be tears as always.

The fact that Christ was born is something I'm glad I believe in. I wouldn't know where to turn if I didn't have God in my life.

Along with the support of my husband, and family. I feel very blessed.

I think God has a plan for me, and I will follow this journey as I do every other journey with faith.

If you really pay attention, you can see the path clearly.

Much like you when we can't see the forest for the trees, just look through the trunks and you will see where the path is going.

Such wisdom comes with age LOL...

I wish you all well and hope all have a good Christmas. May you be blessed with good heath in 2006. For many of us it has been a hard year.

Started with me when my kitty died, then my daddy passed, and now this. God puts on us no more than we can handle, he must believe I'm a strong woman!

And I have to admit, I am one tough lady!

My life seems to matter much more to me also. I will never fuss about getting old again!

Speaking of getting old, I will hit the "BIG FIVE O" on January 12th. I really wanted to have a big celebration, black roses and all.

Never thinking of it being a big black cloud over me on that day..

I will have chemo a few days before my birthday, so I know what I will be facing. Glad it is #4 , I'm half way there. Last A/C YES!!!!!!!

Love Mary

Hi everyone~ went for my second CAF today and it was a no go. The MRI I had on the brain, shows mets in various places ranging from mm to over 1 centimeter.

I will see the Radiologist on thursday and possible radiation on Friday.

This is really scary for me..... The chemo and all the antinausea drugs caused my brain to swell, and they think that is what caused the seizure.

Just will have to deal with this.....hugs....Kaye

Lana - Got a good chuckle about the chins, as I have 3 of them myself!! LOL

Odalys - It's hard when our time line and God's time line don't coincide. I've had a similar situation with my employment but on a smaller scale (retail) I had lost my fulltime benefits after my grandson was ill. Then the store wanted us to sign a paper that said in order to be fulltime we had to be available 24/7. There was so way I could do that so I lost my benefits. Some how or other I was able to work back up to the required 32 hours per week necessary for benifits and then guess what? Cancer. I had prayed & prayed that I would be able to find a new job. But He had other plans for me. Not only are those benefits important but the many friends I have made at my job. Now the question will be what to do when my Family Leave is up in January. Retail scheduling is difficult to deal with after the holidays - and then try to maintain 32 hours per week, and be around alot of ill customers.

I had treatment #2 yesterday. The 5FU is back on the market so they stuck that in also. I asked about a port but was told I don't need one cuz my veins are so "good".
My white blood count was low so I had to go back today for
"the Shot" Also had high blood sugar. Diabetes runs in my family but I thought it could also be all of the holiday cookies I ate over the weekend! LOL I'll get tested more next week.

Huge hugs to all.
Thanks for all of your support.
Take care.

Kaye, sending you lots of hugs. I am sorry about the mets.
This has definately been one h*ll of a test. I, too, am learning to step back and enjoy every day, every moment. I was always the rush rush person, especially w/ three kids.
Also, I am so grateful for my family and friends. My mom moved here 2 years ago from the city. She really wasn't ready to move, but the price was right. Now I tell her God knew I was going to need her to help me out. And God knows how much of a help she has been, especially when I know this whole thing is killing her inside. You don't want to see your child sick and hurting.
I thank God for the friendships here. I always know there is a place to go to vent and just let it all out.

hugs...Kim

Oh Kaye, I am SO sorry about the mets. I am confident that you will FIGHT this like crazy. I will pray intensely for you.

I hope everyone is in good spirits. Good night. Debbie

Kaye, my heart goes out to you along with prayers for your recovery. I was up, and came to the boards after no sleep, I will be glad to feel better. One more a/c to go....:)

Also , my cats are playing rough around the tree, and made me get up just as I felt myself falling to sleep. They are just like children at times.

Kaye: Know that on Thursday a lot of people are going to be holding you in their thoughts.

Anna

Kaye,
My thoughts are with you during this time. Special prayers for you also.
LAT56

Another thing that helps me drink water is having it hot in a cup as if it were coffee or tea. I can drink massive amounts of water this way and the taste doesn't seem to bother me at all. Cold water just doesn't go down the same way these days.

Anna

Hello All, Kaye you are definitely in our prayers, keep the strength and take one step at a time God is with you and will not leave you no matter what your circumstances are.

I'm am up because I cannot sleep. I went to bed late around 1:00 a.m. and took an ativan. I am going to ask my Onc to prescribe me Effexor and see if that helps. I spoke with a lady today that had BC about 4 years ago and she said it helped here tremendously.

Also I am experiencing the bumps on my head and sores, they look like spots. Can anyone shed some light on this. I think in one of the post someone suggested a soda paste. This experience of Chemo reminds me of the story of Job, I get a new symtom it seems everyday but just keep going because I know God is with me.

Blessings!
Grace

Kaye, My prayers & thoughts are with you today.

Chemo #2 was on Monday, side effects not as bad but seem to be lingering on longer. Plus now the heartburn from the 5FU I was finally able to get. I had to have the Neulasta shot on Tuesday. OOO! I am also finding it hard to keep up with the fluid intake. The metal taste in my mouth doesn't help. I've been keeping my husband busy with trips to the store to fill my latest food/beverage craving.

It's hard to believe that Christmas is just around the corner. I think it's going to be a very emotional one! I don't want to cry too much cuz then the sinus/allergy problems start! LOL

You are in my prayers.
Although the miles between us keep us apart, there is no distance between our hearts - HUGS TO ALL!
LAT56

Kaye, thinking of you today. Update us when you can.
LizM. I was told the Taxotere will probably stop my periods. Yeah right. Not so lucky (I'm 36). I usually spot from the drugs and have gotton my period right on time twice. So the 3 weeks between treatments, I spot 2 1/2 weeks. So far I haven't spotted after this treatment and next week am due for my period. We will see what happens.

Kim

Hi ladies,
I've fallen behind reading all the post, I will reply to the posts later. Meantime, I want to share with you a message I received at work today. I hope you enjoy it too.

"Why Women Cry"

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you
crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does
mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said:
"When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her
family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

Ps-it took 2 hours for the yucks to hit me, and I feel YUCKY. Nauseous, achy, tired, headache....Debbie
PPS-the sort of good news is that I already hit my water intake today....yay!!

Checking in~ I am so behind in reading my mail and the posts. I just can't seem to snap out of this! I feel so weak and tired all the time, I am on Augmentin for the bronchitis. Still losing that last little bit of hair.....I look like I am 80 years old. All the dark hair fell out and I got left with very thin old lady looking gray hair that is still coming out all over. I saw the Radiologist doctor today. I wanted to opt out of everything.....I think I am starting major depression!! He was very nice and talked me into coming back tomorrow so they can make up a mask that will cover my face. He said that he wouldn't start treatment until Tuesday, so that I had time to think about things I have so many spots, to numerous.....so he decided that they needed to do the whole brain. No guarantee it will work....some people it works for, others it doesn't. He said I would have extreme fatigue, lose the rest of my hair, burn my scalp and have some possible memory loss.

I just want my energy back and to feel normal again.

Hope you all feel better....Kaye