Chemo starting in December 2010

Went today for Taxol 4 of 12 and all counts are really low.  Will have 2 neupogen shots later this week and they want to do a blood transfusion tomorrow to help with my red blood cells.  Anyone else had the transfusion?  know what to expect?

I have the same issue -- spots on hands and the back of my hands are totally darekened, looks like a tan.  My 14 yr old daughter suggested I go to get a spray tan for the rest of my body to even it out.  Too funny.....

(((HUGS))) Angel. I hope you guys can talk it out. I hope your counts go up too and that things will settle down for you. You can vent anytime. that is what we are here for.

 Ang, hope all will be ok, I totally understand how your feeling. its not like we can just go about our lives normally. Ya, know, its funny you mention the hubbies, mine has been great...but as of late when I get weepy over nothing, river of tears just comes on ..well I shouldn't say over nothing..geez we are going through so much, anyway, he says things like..come on, you've been so positive.  well yeah, I've been in shock since sept 29th!!!  I'm just waking up like my incisions are!!  I'm not complaining but, I think people forget this is a 24 round the clock thing for us, nothing stops us thinking.  People around me think I should be thrilled I'm "done" after rads, and be so grateful to be done with chemo, and I am...but then what? They think its over, including my husband.  But for us, especially Triple negative with no pills to take, the first few years are gonna be hell.  Sorry, wasn't planning on this venting but just had to get it out. Love and peace to all and appreciate you all so much.

Cathy, do you have brown spots on your feet too? I just noticed those.

Take care all,

JoAnn

JoAnn

thank you ladies!

 i appreciate it. when he woke up this morning he told me he didn't remember any of the drunken stupor fight. we talked and i got at the root of what was wrong. he is just so super stressed himself he just gets sick over it. he actually cried a little today while we talked. it was nice that he not only apologized the heck outta me but he told me what was going on in his head

Angel - I'm so glad you and your husband are doing okay today. I think it's so incredibly stressful for our spouses and they tend to get left out in the wind, wondering which way is up. My husband has been so wonderful through this, but he went last month and talked to the doctor and got put on some "happy pills". I think that has helped him tremendously.

No one understands what we're going through except those of us going through this. Likewise, we don't understand what our husbands are going through. It's not easy... Sending you - and everyone else - special hugs for your marriages. 

I'm sick. Been running fever, up to 100.5, which my oncologist originally told me to not come in unless it shot up to 101 or I couldn't control it. I went in to see him yesterday and they did a chest x-ray. It came back as questionable pneumonia. They're also running blood cultures. They threw me on some meds (inhalers, antibiotics) and I go back for a follow-up on Monday. I just took my last chemo treatment last Thursday.... I'm still running fever off and on... *sigh*  

Just ready to feel "normal" again. I guess it's gonna be a long-while before any of us feel normal again. I talked to a 9-year survivor not to long ago and she told me, "Welcome to your NEW normal."  

Love you all!

I actually had a huge fight with my husband last night and he wasn't even drunk!  It's true, they are stressed too, in their own way with their own different world of troubles.  Just important to both stay on the same page throughout this mess and support each other.  Sometimes you really need to yell it out so that it all comes out and then everyone feels better.

I had a blood transfusion today.  My red blood cells were so low they decided it was the only thing they could do.  I was constantly short of breath and sleeping like 20 hours a day.  They gave me benadryl with the blood to help reduce any rejection so I slept all morning (infusion took 6 hours!) but I really am feeling better!  It's such a relief.  I've really not been doing great on Taxol.  Well, sort of.  I think that's what our fight was about last night.  I look better.  I can get out of bed and not puke.  And no evil side effect meds that make you unable to drive and think clearly.  So because of that it "looks" like I'm fine when really there is so much death inside my veins I need someone else's blood to survive!  

I've also been thinking about life "after" this is all done.  When I was first diagnosed I thought, okay a year of yucky treatment then back to normal.  And it feels like every week I discover something that has changed or will change so that my life will definitely never ever be the same again.  Like ShelMel said, it's definitely the new normal.

Hang in there everyone.  We're getting closer.  And it's making us stronger.

i gave myself my weekly manicure last night, to try to cheer up a bit and when i took off the old polish from last week, all my nails are turning black! like they are bruised!!! weird. my fingertips are sensitive and the skin is super brittle. weird.. but my nails are like a firey red/pink, and that makes me smile when i look at them!

hope everyone is having a better day today! with minimal to no SE's!

((((((HUGS))))))

ugh, just got over a "down below" infection, now i woke up with symptoms of a sinus infection  or a cold! just called docs, waiting to find out what they will do with me since my counts were down this week! ugh i wonder if i will be on anti biotics AGAIN!

Geez, Angel, your not catching a break here,  Hope things work out soon. I know it sounds so strange, but ever since my blue cross, blue shield nurse told me to eat a yogurt everyday, I have been so healthy and no infections, and my mouth always ffelt great too. don't know if that is the reason why, or if I was just lucky. Hope you're feeling better soon.

Hope,  your not whiny, I don't think anyone here could be.  I hope some of your s/e disappear soon.   I cried at work today, never do that, just sometimes this whole thing is so overwhelming, I am moving on to rads next week, and I just can't believe this is all happening. I'm sure we all feel like that.

Another nasty snow/freezing rain day didn't help either, I so want spring!!!   Do something nice for yourself this weekend.

JoAnn

I just back from an extensive testing day, poked about 7 times, a chest xray, chest CT (to check for pulmonary embolism - I was clear - YAY), a shot and more meds. I've got pneumonia.

 They gave me a shot of rocephin (heavy duty antibiotic) and will wait to see how I do over the weekend. Go back Monday morning. If I'm not better by then, they're probably going to put me in the hospital. 

I've been sick since my 3rd treatment. Supposed to go see my radiation oncologist next week, but I have a feeling that's going to be delayed. So sick of being sick. I feel like my life has been on complete hold. I've missed so many events, my son's choral contest, school meetings, taking the kids out. Sorry. I'm just having a pity party right now. 

I've been having huge crying jags for about a week now. It just happens over the smallest things. 

Angel - I'm praying for no fever for you this weekend. Hang in there sweetie. 

Karebear -  I hope you wake up tomorrow with a ton of energy!! 

Praying for a better weekend for all of us. Much love!!!

Shelle

Lisa, I miss being in sync with you- since I was switched to the 12 weeks of taxotere instead of taxol...and then you also got to do the DD. I can relate to the return to work time frame and the start of rads. I worry about the fatigue too. So far I am approved until April 23 which should have been around the end of my last chemo, but I missed one dut to getting the port put in, so already I am a week behind. 

Shelle, please get better soon, I am keeping you in my prayers! 

I want to mention you all by name because I read all of your posts and you are all in my thoughts. I really don't want anyone to feel left out! Big hugs girls! You are all so wonderful!

shel mel!! i hope you get to feeling better NOW!! you are in my thoughts!

thank you to everyone who listened to my crappy week....it really was hellacious

even though my counts are down, i have got to get out of this house. it has been since tuesday(chemo) when i have stepped foot. need to get some cat food and a prescription picked up. i could have hubby do it, but i just gotta get out. despite low blood counts.

question on that.... am i over reacting to that? i mean, i have holed myself up in my house for the week, scared to go out in fear of infection. but , if i go out and wash my hands and make sure i don't contact anyone sick, it's ok, right?

the sinus thing is improving, i think my sinuses were severly dried out. the humidifier is helping alot! i wake up, blow my nose, and feel better. still watching the temp. been running 98.2.

well, that's all today. i do hope you ladies who needed transfusions are doing better! haven't needed one but i can only imagine!

and to all who have the sniffles, hang in there, we are almost done!

hot flashes are good for us ER/PR + gals. it's a signal our estrogen is low, which is good, but, keep taking your temp, cause it can also signal a fever, best wishes karebear!!