My apologies

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  • nikola
    nikola Member Posts: 466
    edited February 2011

    Ana,

    as somebody else said you do not need to prove anything to anyone. Good luck with your surgery and further Tx. Also, do not think that wanting to take some time off work and work on yourself and your well being is something you need to apologize.

    Take care of yourself.

  • marie5890
    marie5890 Member Posts: 3,594
    edited February 2011

    And remember Ladies, there is an "IGNORE THIS PERSON" feature button.

    Its a great way to block people. At some level if we continue to get abusive PMs, we are actually allowing and encouraging it since we do have options to block. 

    Exercizing wisdom is a choice.  

  • leggo
    leggo Member Posts: 3,293
    edited February 2011

    Man, this has really been bothering me, that someone actually had the gall to call your doctor and accept this personal information from you. Please contact the moderators and tell them this so that this woman can be permanently removed from this board. I'm sure we all have our own ideas of who it might be, but only you know for sure so please, please, please make the mods aware of this. This women is obviously bat-sh*t crazy. I have no doubts you're going to end up with a stalker on your hands. Nip it in the bud.

    Edited to add: marie, you are so correct about the "ignore" feature. This situation however, has gone beyond something or someone you can just "ignore". Granted, the information was unwisely offered, but to call her doctor?????? I'm stunned.

    Edited again 'cos I still can't get over it....I would call your doctor and find out if they have a record of her call (possibly they thought it was just weird enough to keep track of). If things get out of hand at least you'll have some info to take to the cops.

  • DesignerMom
    DesignerMom Member Posts: 1,464
    edited February 2011

    anna-  I totally agree with the others.  For someone to harass you and demand your Oncs name and call them!  Absolutely inapropriate!  As a matter of fact I would still report them to the moderators.  Perhaps it will save some other person the anxiety you have been through.  And yes, never, ever give out your personal information.  With identity theft etc....you never know.

    Now, on to more important matters.  I am so sorry that your situation has become more serious and you will be having more extensive treatment.  Perhaps go to the mastectomy threads.  Those ladies will be able to answer your questions and hopefully give you reassurance.  Please let us know how you are doing.  I will keep you in my prayers.

  • marie5890
    marie5890 Member Posts: 3,594
    edited February 2011

    Gracie, I wouldnt worry about it anymore. Best to just let it go

    There is a law called  HIPPA. Im guessing both Anna and the person who PMed her havent been involved very long with medical situations. HIPPA is a big BIG deal within the medical community. Violation of it  is SERIOUS business

    Im not sure why Anna would give out her doc's number or why the person who received actually would call them. It was a dead end on the very face of it.

    HIPPA prevents doctors, hospitals, etc etc giving out any info.  

    I understand that Anna is bothered by the idea that someone is questioning her honor, integrity, credibility. It would be grating against my nerves too and my impulse would be to prove my honor.

    But in the big picture of dealing with BC, I dont think it's wise wasting one's energy in such a pursuit.

    As one gets further and further into a medical journey, one learns not to sweat the small stuff. Esp when it comes to strangers and their opinions. It simply isnt worth it.

    I agree with DesignerMom. Time to focus on the important stuff.  

  • Maya2
    Maya2 Member Posts: 468
    edited February 2011

    I agree with the other ladies. Please report this person to the mods. It's not too late and they need to know this is going on. This has truly gone past the "Ignore" button phase. Stalkers like ANY kind of attention: bad, good, indifferent. Please don't engage with her (are we sure?) again.

    Wishing the best of luck with your surgery. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

  • mscal02
    mscal02 Member Posts: 522
    edited February 2011

     Anna: The person who is that interested in whether or not you are lying to go as far as trying to make you prove that you have cancer,really needs something to do and really needs a heart. It is just so sad that a person that is fighting cancer themself has nothing better to do than to pry into someones elses' business. The bible calls them busy bodies. I am glad that you have calmed down some and have had time to think about yourself. If you don't take care of yourself no one else will. You will get through this! Look at how many of us already are. I am stage IIIa and I just live everyday as if it is my last. Enjoy your life and your family. This will no doubt make you closer. Don't push them away. Allow them to be there for you and to help you in any way that you need it.

    Carolyn

  • marie5890
    marie5890 Member Posts: 3,594
    edited February 2011

    Maya, I wouldnt worry

    No one is going to get Anna or anyone else's medical info. even if they push for proof

    It makes me wonder, is there any threads on BC.org that talk about HIPPA laws?

    May be a very useful information for people new to medical challenges. Smile 

  • annabanana28
    annabanana28 Member Posts: 30
    edited February 2011

    Thanks everybody for your responses.  I do know how very stupid it was to give out personal information.  I guess I kind of got caught up in the heat of the moment.  I was so happy that everyone here was giving me a second chance that it was very frustrating that this person was still treating me so badly. 

    I also realized today that I probably got way too involved in a stupid back and forth with this person because in some strange way it was taking my mind off of what I am dealing with.  Oh well, I am pretty certain she will not bother me anymore and for all I know she is dealing with some horrible things as well, and I am really trying hard to not judge people after what happened to me.  After my drug induced rant last week I am really trying to focus on positivity and healing.  Thanks again, I think you all are wonderful.  I will keep everyone posted with my surgery,etc.

  • leggo
    leggo Member Posts: 3,293
    edited February 2011

    Marie, the HIPPA law isn't going to help  where the women now has the information on the receipt she provided like name, address, phone number. I wasn't even worried about medical information. However I am taking  your advice......letting go now.

  • marie5890
    marie5890 Member Posts: 3,594
    edited February 2011

    It's ok Anna.

    Dont let anyone distract you from getting better. That and only that right now should be your focus.

    Good luck with your surgery. 

  • marie5890
    marie5890 Member Posts: 3,594
    edited February 2011

    Gracie,

    That is a good point. I dont know what Anna can do now other than watch and make sure someone doesnt steal her identity.

    God THAT is a massive nightmare. I have known people who have to deal with that. Its a massive headache for sure. Frown 

    Anna, you may want to seriously consider taking steps to protect your identity. I expect you can do a google search in see what kind of steps you can take. 

  • annabanana28
    annabanana28 Member Posts: 30
    edited February 2011

    Marie and Gracie- the receipt just had my name and the doctor's name and address. It said $20 copay paid by cash.  That's it.  I tore the top part off that had the rest of my information.  I may be dense but I'm not THAT dense...Undecided

    Thanks you guys for worrying about me.  My Dad always says I am too naive (not sure of spelling?) for my own good.  But I am not worried about this-  this is small potatoes to everything else.  And if someone would steal my identity they would find that they owed money!  Laughing

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2011

    Hi Anna

    There are many nice people here, glad to see you back.  You have nothing to apologize for, I feel that many here own YOU an apology.

    I am happy you are sounding more positive.  Concentrate on things that make you happy and relaxed

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2011

    Anna,

    I agree with tooyoungtohavebc in that I saw nothing wrong with your original post and that you have nothing to apologize for.  I also agree with Erica31 that many people here owe you an apology and I hope that they are big enough to do it whether on the boards or in a private message.  I was horrified at the pack mentality stupid replies that you received from women that should know better.  The words contempt prior to investigation come to mind.  I had to walk away from my computer after reading the thread. When I came back I saw the thread was deleted.   The person pming you and demanding proof is beneath comtempt and you can report her when you are ready.  You have enough on your plate and you don't have to take action now.   I feel strongly that this needs to be said.  I hope this is a valuable learning experience for certain women to not have such a knee jerk reaction again to a newly diagnosed women's post.

    Somebody has already suggested posting in the surgery thread and I think that is a good idea.  I don't know if you saw that there also is a young person's forum:

    http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/27

    I hope ALL women here continue to give you the support that you need.  I think you are a very courageous, smart, and compassionate young woman.  After all your treatment is done and  over with, and you have some time under your belt, you can come back and help out others that are newly diagnosed and scared. I think you will be a real asset to the boards.  Right now you need to reach out for help and support. I am so glad that you came back.  Be good to yourself, Anna and keep coming back for all the online support that you need. It's here.

  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited February 2011

    geez Anna..

    what a rude awkward way to have to enter the forum.. shame on that goose.

  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited February 2011

    Anna, I couldn't agree more with Gracie. This person should be banned. Pity you shared information with her, but you must report this to the moderators, if not for yourself then for others whom she might victimize.

    Good luck with your bmx. The surgery board should be very helpful, and, if you should decide on reconstruction, there are some wonderful threads out there as well which I found very helpful. Damned awful to have to cope with all of this and I am sure this has been an express-lane learning experience for you. May you emerge healthy in the end!

  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze Member Posts: 4,668
    edited February 2011

    I have no idea what has happened on this forum and I'm not sure I understand how any identity theft could have happened.  However, I'm certain the moderators can read PMs (as on other forums) so if somebody thinks something dangerous has happened, it doesn't have to be Anna who reports it, anybody can and the mod can check it herself.

    The thread title got me curious but I'm still confused.  Tongue out 

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