Nervous Wreck

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  • toomuch
    toomuch Member Posts: 901
    edited January 2011

    Nancy,

    Thinking of you this week and hoping that this will be treatment will be easier. And remember you'll be 75% done after this one!

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  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited January 2011

    Sherri's right, the end is near.  Thinking of you, Nancy.  G.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2011

    Nancy, just want to let you know I'm thinking about you and wishing you the very best. HUGS BIG TIME, GIRL. If you want to talk...PM me. I am here for you. Luv ya.

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  • momand2kids
    momand2kids Member Posts: 1,508
    edited February 2011

    Nancy

    big hugs all around.  Drugs aside, you have been through a great deal in the last couple of months--of course you are weepy..... normal..... I wish we could all just come and help you.... getting to the finish line of chemo is hard, but if there is any way you can hang in there--let us help you virtually if we can.... 

    I will also say that my former boss had bc, pretty aggressive and when I was dx'd she told me that she made it through 3 of her 4 treatments--- she just had had it.... she told me that she figured 75% was as good as 100%.  Everyone has to do what is right for them...... And she is over 10years out..... 

    I would tell you to hang in there, but I know it is so hard and it sounds like you are really getting knocked down by these drugs.  Just know that we get it and support you---- 

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  • IllinoisNancy
    IllinoisNancy Member Posts: 722
    edited February 2011

    Dear Friends,

    Thank you for your continued support...it means so very much to me!  I'm doing well today and taking my steriods in preparation for chemo #6 tomorrow.  The only problem is that the snow storm is baring down on us and Peoria has already postponed my treatment to Friday.  I guess it won't effect my long term survival by being pushed back two days.  On a bright point, my husband is a school teacher and school has been cancelled for today and tomorrow so I have good company:)  I hope all of you are feeling well and stay safe during this horrible storm.

    Love and (((hugs)))),

    Nancy

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  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited February 2011

    It's good to hear from you Nancy.  That weather is really awful.  I have heard many stories of people having to delay treatment.  It's better to be safe and stay home (with hubby! even better).  Super duper WARM hugs!  G.

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  • momand2kids
    momand2kids Member Posts: 1,508
    edited February 2011

    Nancy

    awful snow here too (Boston) and I am staying home, kids are off from school.... I can just work here.

    So glad you have company--- once this one is over, how many more to go?  One thing that kept me going was at the end of each treatment I could say "25% done, 50% done).....

    good luck with #6..... not too much longer now....

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  • IllinoisNancy
    IllinoisNancy Member Posts: 722
    edited February 2011

    Hi Sherri,

    Everything is on for tomorrow at 10:30.  I have been experiencing Cabin Fever today and I think this is the first time I have been bored in my adult life.  I dread treatment tomorrow but anxious to get it over with.  I so miss my busy life that I used to have.  I suppose it will return someday but right now the snow seems to be closing in on me.  Thanks for being such a good friend and checking in on me. 

    Love,

    Nancy

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  • IllinoisNancy
    IllinoisNancy Member Posts: 722
    edited February 2011

    Hi,

    The AC got rid of the tumors by the second treatment.  I really don't know why I'm taking Taxotere.  I just read that it causes permanent hair loss so now I have that worry about too.  Does the bad news ever end??  I feel like I'm sinking into a dark place again.  I also read that one of the IL ladies died today and she just completed chemo recently.  She went from stage II to IV in a matter of months and then died...how sad. Thanks for thinking of me.

    Take care,

    Nancy

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2011
    Hugs to you Nancy. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. I will be thinking about you tomorrow. Hang in there. If you ever want to meet somewhere for lunch or breakfast - please let me know.
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  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited February 2011

    Hi Nancy,  I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, too.  I'm so sorry you are feeling down.  This freezing weather doesn't help.  Please stay safe.  Hugs, G.

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  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited February 2011

    Hoping you are O.K. and recovering from the last assault.  We are all holding you in our thoughts, Nancy.  Hugs. G.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2011

    Just checking in...hoping you're doing okay. Hugs!

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  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited February 2011

    I hope no news is good news, Nancy.  I'm keeping you in my thoughts.  Hugs, G.

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  • IllinoisNancy
    IllinoisNancy Member Posts: 722
    edited February 2011

    Hi,

    I'm slowly crawling out of my chemo funk that set in on Sunday.  I feel more human today and not even taking pain pills.  I pray I can do this two more times.  My head is gettting fuzzy with white stuff and my nails are better than with the AC.  I am hoping that DH and I can get out of the house this weekend so I can end my cabin fever.  You ladies have been life savers and thanks so much for checking in on me. 

    Take care,

    Nancy

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  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited February 2011

    I hope you can get out, too.  I remember having a fuzzy head.   The first hair was so baby fine and soft.  It won't be long, now.  You can do this.  Thank you for checking in when I know you are so tired.  Hugs, G.

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  • toomuch
    toomuch Member Posts: 901
    edited February 2011

    Nancy - I hope that you were able to get out this weekend. Fresh air and a change of scenery can do wonders for you. I hope that your energy improves each day!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2011

    Hi Nancy. Fuzz - that's great! Hope you're still feeling better. Hugs!

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  • IllinoisNancy
    IllinoisNancy Member Posts: 722
    edited February 2011

    Hi Ladies,

    I'm doing better this week....no pain, just fatigue.  I think the worst part about getting cancer back is not knowing what is next.  After my first dx and treatment, I thought I had beat it.  Now I feel like it is beating me.  I hate being bald, having no energy, and living a life of fear.  I don't think these cloudy days help much either.  I long for the warm sunny days when I didn't think about cancer 24/7.  Sorry to be such a downer but it is one of those days.  I know the fact that I have'nt worked since November bothers me too since I have always worked but I don't think I'm up to it emotionally or physically.  I just look so sick...my eye lids are red all the time and I'm as pale as a ghost with fuzzy white stuff on my head...

    I feel sorry that my husband has to look at this everyday.  Hope you are all doing well.

    Love,

    Nancy

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  • SAMayoFL
    SAMayoFL Member Posts: 958
    edited February 2011

    Hey Nancy!  I am glad you are at least on the road to recovery.  Hooray!!!

    You know, the fear is a tough thing.  I think I am going to see if I can find a counselor for a couple of sessions.  I was doing really, really well but then I started have a pain in my rib about two inches down from my scar.  It feels weird.  There is a little patch of swollen skin and then it indents down into my rib.  Almost like a hole in my rib.  I have told the chemo nurse about it for the last three weeks and no one seems to be concerned.  Yesterday, I ran into my oncologist in the hallway and he made me an appointment for next week.  Now that I have an appointment, fear and painic are setting in.  I hate this!!!

    I hope you continue to get better and stronger each and every day as you get closer to your surgery!

    Susan

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  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited February 2011

    Hello Nancy,  Been there!!!  It will end, but it takes time.  Hang on, and come here to talk.  I know how hard and how strange it is.  Get lots of rest.  Let the worries go by as much as you are able.  (((((Nancy)))))

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  • toomuch
    toomuch Member Posts: 901
    edited February 2011

    Nancy-I started this journey so filled with fear. A friend of mine said, when she was diagnosed she realized that she had no control over her disease but she could control her response to it. She told me I couldn't wallow. It was hard but I thought about that every time I started to have a pity party for myself for feeling crappy, for being bald, whatever. I don't imagine that I will ever be free of fear but it no longer controls me. Focus on the great response your tumors have had to chemo, the end of chemo is in sight.

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  • IllinoisNancy
    IllinoisNancy Member Posts: 722
    edited February 2011

    Hi,

    I have chemo on Wednesday and Neulasta on Thursday so I will feel bad Saturday thru Wednesday.  I know the bone pain will be bad since it has been everytime.  I can't wait until it is over on March 16th.  I know the surgery will be tough on April 6th but at least I will be done with treatments.   Do all of you think 3 weeks between chemo and surgery is enough?

    Thanks,

    Nancy

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  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited February 2011

    Hi Nancy,  Good to hear from you and great to hear that the end of treatment is in sight.  If only you didn't need the Neulasta!  So March 16th for last chemo and April 6 for surgery.  Now that these dates are set, the end is more concrete. I think that three weeks may be fine.  I had my surgery 4 weeks after neoadjuvant chemo, then started adjuvant chemo 3 weeks after surgery.  We'll be thinking about you Wednesday and Thursday.  G.

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  • MaureenA
    MaureenA Member Posts: 39
    edited February 2011

    Hi Nancy, Thinking about you as you enter the home stretch.  Sending hugs and good thoughts your way and hoping the treatments this week will be kinder to you.  Maureen

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  • IllinoisNancy
    IllinoisNancy Member Posts: 722
    edited February 2011

    Hi Friends,

    I made it through chemo today and only have one left.  You have all helped me more than you will ever know:)  I know the next week will be bad but now that I can see the finish line it helps with my attitude.  I asked the onc today if he thought 3 weeks between chemo and surgery was enough and he said it was tight but he thinks I can do it.  My WBC dropped to 5000 this week.  It started the first week at 18,000 and seems to drop each time.  I hope it stays in the safety zone prior to surgery.  Thanks again for all the prayers and thoughts.

    Love,

    Nancy

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  • toomuch
    toomuch Member Posts: 901
    edited February 2011

    Nancy,

    I bet that you're white count will be okay for surgery 3 weeks after your last chemo. I hope that you get through this weekend without too much pain!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2011

    Nancy - Thinking about you! I hope the Nuelasta cuts you some slack this weekend. Hang in there...HUGS, HUGS, HUGS!

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  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited February 2011

    Nancy,

    I'm sure this is a rough week since you'll be getting the cumulative effects of your chemo but I just want to tell you that I'm so happy you've made it to your final week.  I hope the WBCs hold up!

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  • IllinoisNancy
    IllinoisNancy Member Posts: 722
    edited February 2011

    I feel really bad today:(

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