May 2010 Chemo

Hello -  Just checking in with everyone.  Been a very busy couple of weeks.  I had my 4 month checkup on Feb 1st (all was good..YEAH), My husband turned 46 on February 3rd (finally catching up to me!) and  my son turned 12 on Valentines day.   I have been really busy with work and shuttling the kids back and forth to all of their millions of activities.   I try to keep postivie but it still ways heavily on my mind that some day this disease will come back.  My dear friend lost her life two weeks ago to this disease and it is still so frustrating that women still suffer so much and no cure seems to be near.

Thoughts and prayers to everyone! 

Hey Ladies,  I have been reading posts, but a bit of depression has prevented me from writing. Since I am so far behind I will not address everyone individually.  I will catch up!   As for me, coming back from that wonderful trip was a bit unsettling.  The 12 hour time difference really messed with my energy/sleep schedule.  But I am better now.  I fell in love with Cambodia, and the people there.  Wow, what adversity and good survival skills. I have to say that BC has taught us some of the same.  My armpit has been tighter since rads, than the entire time, but yoga and gentle stretching is helping with that.  I think it is the standard for BC follow-up not to test for any other mets, unless there are symptoms. I go for my first  follow-up mammo  in March.  So my year will be up then.  My birthday is Monday.  Yeah.  I will be 63, and planning on at least another 30 years!  Hugs to all of you and I will write you individually later.  I miss you all.  Patricia

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATRICIA!! ♪♪♪♪♫!

Thanks for all the testing input...  I'll see what happens... don't get me wrong; I really am not upset about not getting blood tumor markers checked because I know they can be wildly inaccurate... I think it is just when you couple that with the other stuff that I get upset at the totality of it all.  I mean what is the big deal with a breast ultrasound or MRI once a year? 

Jenn - That's so great about work.  I think I kind of felt the same way too, and still do sometimes.  It really does make everything seem so normal and it feels good to get back to normal.  Your puppy story made me laugh... also reminded me why we still don't have a puppy, LOL!!  And, yes, I do go for my herceptin every 3 weeks.... until July.  That's the other thing... there is question (I mean, I know we are always at risk) but, it may seem for Her2+ that there is a greater risk in the first 8 months to 3 years for recurrence, and after that it decreases.  Maybe I just need to hurry along to my 3 year mark so I can cool my jets. 

Magda - Was that you that said "bratitude?"  Because, I soooo read that "brat - i - tude" as in I was being a brat with my docs... which I am!!!    I don't think I am going to go back to my rad onc anymore.  I seriously think that is one doc I am done with.  I didn't like her from the moment I met her.... I don't know what she does for me... and I am pissed that she never told me that getting tissue expanders would interfere with the amount of rads I would be able to get.  I believe you should give people ALL of their options and allow them to make their own treatment choices... and she didn't do that.  Good job on your problem solving at work (to get off my soap box once again).  They are so lucky to have you!! 

Denise - Sorry about the fleas... like I said to Jenn... another reason no dog for me (and our cat is strictly indoor).  Yes, your brain acuity will heighten... it has taken a while for mine to kick back in... someone will bring up a medical question, and it will actually take a minute for me to figure it out.... like norepinephrine... it clamps you down... brings your pressure up... had to actually think about that for a minute the other day!!  Glad it wasn't during an emergency.    Oh, and btw, there is a national shortage of norepinephrine.  Have fun visiting your daughter!!

Hi Laura.  Yes, me too, darlin'!!  I'm so sorry for your friend!!  I think it's sad that for the most part whenever I run into someone who says my mom or grandma had breast cancer x number of years ago and is still around... and I ask what stage... they ALWAYS say oh, very early, Stage 1.  That kind of makes my heart sink.  The only person I know who had a relative with Stage 4 buried her 2 years ago.  I know we are all differnt and there are long term survivors, and the playing field is getting better with new drugs and herceptin, but the stats alone are enough to drive you insane!  Even the woman at my job who was just diagnosed and someone told me she was stage 3... I talked to her the other day, and she didn't mention stage, just that the only chemo she had to do was 4 rounds of AC and that's it, because her onc told her that her BC was "lazy" a very non-aggressive tumor.  Deep down, I found myself jealous and feeling awful for that.   Congrats on a great check up and all the birthdays!!!    They are all so special now, aren't they?! 

Daiva - that's a great story about your daughter's friend.  I believe open adoption is the way to go and better for everyone (I was adopted, btw).  I hope your energy comes back soon... I know mine dropped but anymore have trouble figuring out what is normal fatigue just from working and taking care of the house and family!  At least Ryan only has one sport going on for right now! 

Patricia - Glad you had a great trip!  Happy Birthday!!  Hope the yoga helps with the tightness.  I do have to say that I am very fortunate that I have not had that problem.  I began stretching very early and doing shoulder rolls from the beginning and was fortunate to not have any limited ROM.  I have minor discomfort with certain movements and loss of strength, but I think that's expected when you can't do any strength training so to speak.  Hope you get all your energy back soon!!

Drim - Like I said before, my big issue is not the fact that I won't get blood tests... it's that I am being offered ONLY a yearly mammogram when my 7 cm tumor was MISSED on mammogram just last year... AND they were looking for it because I felt it.  It was only seen by follow up ultrasound, and then of course, biopsy.  So WHY am I ONLY getting an annual mammo when it missed Stage 3 BC.  Obviously, I have dense boobs, and I didn't evey feel the tumor until it was very large and I was doing SBE!  My onc even thought that I would have ILC because my tumor did not act like IDC nor 'feel' like IDC on physical exam... it did not present as a 'lump' but rather as a hardening, which would explain how I had missed it for a long time.... didn't know I was looking for a texture change and not a pea!!!  As my husband says, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over even though it doesn't work.  That sounds awfully familiar to me right now!!!!!    Have fun with your renovations; that is so exciting!!!  And, please let us know about the cold cap segments! 

We had a good time in Myrtle Beach for the long weekend... the kids really enjoyed Medieval Times and Magi-Quest.  It was just nice to get away for a bit!  Back to the grind now... have to work for the next 3 nights in a row and have infusion tomorrow morning when I get off work.  I already warned them that I would be in the middle of 3 days of work, so it would need to be a quick one and they agreed!!  I don't usually work 3 in a row but scheduled this so we could take a trip with the kids not realizing it was infusion week! 

Sorry this was so long!!!! 

(((HUGS))) to all!!

Magda - I will have to try that link later... my computer just went 'kadunk' and hit a blank screen when I clicked it.  Not sure what that hullabaloo is about. And, yep, I admit that I also sat and 'watched' my thickening for a few months also.... you know the internet says watch it through a menstrual cycle and if it changes, it is very, very unlikely that it is malignant, and mine totally changed during my cycle!!  Huh!  I remember having an  MRI on my shoulder in late January wondering if they would be able to see my boob and if they would call me and say there was something funny no the film that they weren't looking for! 

Hugs all!!! 

Pet scan came back clear.  Whew!  I wasn't really worried because I just had one 3 months ago, but its always on your mind.  Now I will only have cat scans occasionally.  Got the pet scans because they initially thought I had mets along with this being the 2nd dx.  Onto the next drama.  I've had my period for almost a month now.  They keep getting longer each time since they started back up after chemo.  So, I went in and Dr said I could either go in for a minor surgery to scrape the lining out and test it or I could take Provera for 10 days and then when that's done, my body would completely shed all the lining itself.  I'm hormone rec negative and my pet scans showed that area as clear so I'm going with the no more surgery route.  Hopefully my body will reset itself.  I have a copper IUD in so between that and the chemopause, I'm hoping its nothing else.  If it comes back like this, they'll want to do the surgery.  So it goes...... 

Magda - I think I recall reading an article on that also.  The BC vaccine 'supposedly' works the same way also... as a vaccine and seems to prevent recurrence, and spread.

After my initial mri came back cancer, a spot on my liver showed up on a ct scan.  I didn't know for the first 3 months after that until a pet scan was done to confirm it was probably a blood vessel and not mets.  Very, very grateful.

Paxton - I had the same thing 10 years ago, and an idiotic doctor gave me a Provera shot without checking in-depth. He actually just told me "I'll give youa  shot to fix this" and only after he told me what it was. What was wrong at the time was that I had a bout of hypo-thyroid - it was right before the Graves disease kicked in and to this day I think that might have caused it. I wanted to sue him but my husband (at the time) didn't let me.

As for all my good May 2010 susters - yes, I know, I haven't been on this thread a lot lately - been hopping like a butterfly on various threads from time to time, but that's it. Life has started pacing up for me, not to the level it was pre-BC but not far from it. I still have fatigue most of the time, but I'm trying to beat it as much as I can.

Getting "nerved up now for my revision that is supposed to be on March 2nd. Surgery doesnt' scare me, general anesthesia does. I wish my PS would operate in the "twilight" lol. 

Day: why was Provera a problem for you?  Did you know that prior to him giving you the shot? I realize u said u didn't know what it was until after, just wondering if you already knew you couldn't have provera from something previous?  Oh, and I feel the same about anesthesia.  I get a lot of unpleasant side effects.  Not so much the nausea but bad shakes after I wake up and fainting spells if I stand up sometimes for days after.  They always want you to get up and walk around pretty soon after the sx but I just can't.  I really hate that feeling. 

The roads are glare ice, but we managed to get Gage's toddler bed tonight (bought if off craigslist).  I'm anxious to see how he does tomorrow night if we get his room all set up. 

Hello May Warriors,

I haven't been on for the past week because of our trip to Disney World.  We had lovely weather and way too much stimulation, but all in all a lovely time.  I ended up making a puzzle for the girls to put together last Saturday morning so they could figure out where we were going for vacation.  So much excitement.  One of the best parts for DH and I was that the girls (age 8 1/2) were sitting in a different part of the plane on all flights to and from.  This has helped prepare them for traveling alone next year and gave us a bit of a break.   They felt quite grown up!

I wish I had a pedometer to measure how far we walked last week.  5 days of 9+ hours at the various Disney parks -- so much walking.  I weighed myself at the gym today and I lost 4 pounds while on vacation!  Most of that was due to the walking, but I did get a bit of a flu on the way home and lost some weight that way too.  So 12 pounds down and 38 to go!

I've been going to the gym five days per week for the past 6 weeks and I think it's helping with my energy level.

My exchange surgery is this Friday and then an MRI on Monday to check the suspicious node in my neck.  I am hoping to work out thru Thursday this week and then get back to the gym in 2 weeks to continue with lower body only for a while.

I can't wait to have SQUISHY BOOBIES again!

Hugs to you all,

Jen

Daiva - breast reconstruction revision. It's supposed to be a fairly short surgery this time - just an adjustment of the inframammary fold towards the armpits and a little fat grafting.

Paxton - no, I didn't know before him givign tme the shot. He only said "I'll give you a shot to fix this". The Depo-Provera threw me in 3-weeks-long periods with very heavy bleeding, for close to a year. And no, I didn't know. I found out after, from my endo, that he should have checked my thyroid levels first, because I didn't need Depo-Provera to fix the issue.

Day, sending thoughts and prayers your way! This should be a breeze!

Hugs

Magda

Awesome Day!  Glad you are back so soon, and you sound pleased with the results!!  I can't wait until May 4th!!!

Denise - soo awesome!!!!!!!!!!!

PIZZA for dinner!!!!