Aww Faithful...I hope you feel better. Girl, I hear ya!!! Most days are great, but some other days I feel like I am on the outside looking in at life...just waiting for that that other shoe to drop. It passes quickly. I have let the feelings wash over me. I used to try and stifle them, but have decided it's healthier to let myself feel the sadness, or the fear sometimes. Someone on here once told me it's part of the healing process....just another stone to step across. So allow yourself that pity party. We have been through heck and back again!!!

Faithful, it's okay. You are always so strong and encouraging to the rest of us. It is normal to have ALL of these feelings - and some days, we feel one emotion more than the others.

Cry in the shower, punch a pillow, be VERY VERY PISSED OFF for a good half hour or so.

Tomorrow is a new day - and you will be here for it.

I think sometimes I feel blue because feeling positive and "sassy' in the face of cancer is a hell of a lot of emotional work. We are just human, even if we have gone to hell and back.

xo

Janyce

My friends mom was just diagnosed - I was the first person she thought to call (yes, I am the resident expert in bc- yay).  I talked her through what would happen and when.  It looked to be very early stage (yay her) and she had her surgery this week.  It was very early stage and no positive lymph nodes - no chemo, no radiation, just go on with your life!  yay.

I am so happy for her and for my friend but it made me absolutely terribly sad :-(

I wish I could have heard those words, I wish I didn't have to worry about every ache, I wish, I wish.

Sometimes a good self pity day, pity party or feel sorry for me moment is needed.  I am usually okay and don't normally feel sorry for myself, but every now and then something happens, a comment, a smell, a sound - something brings me backwards for a couple hours or a day.  It happens.  I think that for the most part we all move forward and try to keep this behind us......but it's there and when for whatever reason the reminders show up we occassionally have a self pity party, day or feel sorry for me moment.

Wow, you read my mind, I was just having my own pity party.  Usually I have the brave face, and attitude, but today I can`t seem to keep it together.  I`ve now done the neo-adjuvant chemo and surgery and although rads and hormone therapy are next, it feels like I`ve worked so hard and will never get to hear the words `you`re cured``. I`ve been so pre-occupied with treatment, I forgot the reality of stage 3.  Like you mentioned it bugs me when I talk to people and they assume that I am ok because I`ve undergone treatment and I don``t look sick, so I must be cured, then I launch into an explanation of lymph nodes, micromets, etc.  Then I wonder if I should just go along with their assumptions, rather then educating everyone on my health prognosis.

Faith - thanks for sharing.  Many of us do have those kind of days.  But, at least it is not like when we first got dx and it just did not seem to let up.  But still, those feelings do creep back down from the closet.  I hope you are feeling better.  You had the faith to come here and share!

 Right now, I am angry at bc with respect to work issues.  I know that I should be thankful that I am healthy enough to work.  But, I have missed so much knowledge in my field and am sometimes walking around not knowing what I am doing because I was away from my job because of bc.  I have to work late because I am not as quick at doing my job and I have to miss work because of dr appts and a surgery next week.  (probably 2 weeks)  I just don't have time for bc.  So, more late hours at the office...  Breast cancer is no excuse for being behind at your job unfortunately.  On the flip side, I have more of a perspective now with work.  Anyone share the same work frustrations?  I get jealous of my coworkers who are so much quicker at their jobs.  You know... it is all bc's fault!