anyone starting chemo in Nov 2005

Ditto the hugs to all not feeling well, I've gotten a cold/sinus thingy from my boys as well, no fun. Re: the San Antonio conference--the write up in our paper here sounded exciting, so I'm anxious to see my onc next week to find out if it will change my plan any. Not that I want any shortcuts that compromise anything, but if I don't NEED all that chemo, that would be fabulous!
Debbie--hope you can get something to help you feel better, and maybe they won't have to use your port. If it does still hurt tho, ask them to numb it. At my hospital, we can use a couple of things, EMLA cream (which has lidocaine in it), and you have to put that on about 30-60 minutes beforehand, or we also use a freezing spray that you spray right before they tap you, cause it only lasts about 10 seconds. You may want to ask about a smaller gauge needle, as well. Most people use a 20 gauge (the diameter of the needle) by 1/2", 3/4", or 1" length, but there also exists a 22 gauge (smaller) needle in the various lengths, that I have tapped people with on occasion, too, and sometimes that doesn't hurt as much, so you might want to ask about that. And trust me, even though you hate the port now, you'd really hate what the chemo and other meds would be doing to the veins in your arm if you didn't have it. I still have a knot in my vein from the phenergan they gave me when I got my port 6 weeks ago!
Odalys--glad your mom is doing better. I worked in a Cardiac ICU for 6 years, so if I can be of any help, let me know! Hope you're feeling better, too!
Oh well, DH and boys just got home, need to go work on dinner. Hugs to everyone!
Mary Beth

MaryBeth - Since you are a nurse I must ask you about a port. From your last post I get a feeling that you think one in necessary. I do not have one and am due for A/C #2 on Monday. Do you think a port is necessary?
Odalys - hope you're feeling better today.
Debbie - glad to hear you got some help with that cough!!

I am going to my grandson's 1st birthday party today. I have been looking forward to this special occasion!! He had been seriously ill with a virus last Feb. and was in the NICU for 9 days and on a ventilator. I can say that seeing him so sick was terrible! Dealing with this breast cancer doesn't compare to seeing him so sick. I can also can strength from remembering the fight in that little baby.
Hope everyone has a good weekend.
LAT56

DEBBIE~ glad you got some medication. My WBC was 1.5, 6 days after treatment. They tell me I have gone back up, but don't know the count right now. I have had a sore throat for the last couple of days and coughing up some nasty green stuff.....so I think I may have picked up a bug somewhere.

LAT56~ I don't like the port, but find it necessary. I have never had trouble with my veins, but last two times they tried to give me IV's or injections, they can't get a return of blood from my veins. I don't know why they don't use the port?? I had an MRI yesterday, they couldn't get a good vein and ended up blowing a vein, boy does that hurt.

I have only had one chemo treatment so far, I don't know what this stuff does to your veins, but it sure does something, that makes them un-accessible!

Kaye

Hope all you wonderful ladies are having a good weekend and keeping in the holiday spirit.

Nancy, I read some of the articles from San Antonio. In fact, my oncologist, Dr. Antonio Wolff from Hopkins was quoted in an AP article. I plan to discuss some of this with him when I have my appoint on Jan 9th. However, due to my one pos node there is no way that I would shorten/change any of my planned chemo treatments, even if I am estrogen and progesterone positive. My plan has alway been to do everything I possible can to give myself the best shot, even rads after a mastectomy which puts my implant at risk to fail.

Kaye, I'm so glad to see you posting. Hope that means you are feeling better. You are always in my thoughts.

Lat56, I do not have a port. I asked several times and was told that a port is not necessary in my case since my veins are good and my treatment will not be that long.

Didn't feel quite as good my first week after AC#2 as I did after AC#1. I think I will have to adjust my anti-nausua meds again. Got my first mouth sore. I'm going to try the malanta/q-tip thing. I feel better today so I hope that means I will have a good week before Christmas. AC#3 is scheduled for Dec 27th. My daughter and her husband fly in from London today for Christmas. It is her first year home for Christmas in several years so I'm really excited. My other two children go to college close to home and will be here also.

Take care ladies and hope we all feel good this weekend.

Mary Beth-Boy are you handy to have around!!! My best friend is a nurse, and I constantly harrass her with ??'s about my current health...she'll be happy to know I have you now!

Speaking of which-I told her yesterday, "I HATE my port," and she replied, "I think people should be born with ports already in!" I think that should further the "pro-port" argument for LAT56.

Still coughing, but seems to be a little better! I even made banana bread for the neighbors today. Didn't even cough on it...
Debbie

MaryBeth - Thanks so much for the info. My Dr. has never mentioned a port. Guess I'll have to bring the subject up tomorrow when I receive A/C #2.
Debbie - Glad to hear that you continue to feel better.
To all - Thanks so much for all of your input. The thought of a port is scary to me. It is a subject that requires alot of thought & prayer for me.
Good wishes to all.
LAT

Debbie, so happy to hear you are feeling better today.


Kim

Hi Everyone. Making my come back from another painful crisis. Ay...do I have to go through this every time???
Glad to see all the info/posts on ports. I am all for them.

Thanks for all the concerns and well wishes for Mom. She is still in the hospital, doing much better, had a pace maker and defibrillator put in on Friday. Hopefully they will send her home tomorrow.

Debbie - glad to see they finally got to the root of your cough. Glad to see you're in better spirits.

LAT56- How was grandson's 1st birthday party. Hope he is in good health. It's amazing how much babies can teach us about life.

Lana - All weekend long I kept thinking "Chins Up!" Thanks for the quote.

On another subject - Last night my emotions kicked in as I thought of the timing of this BC diagnosis. For the past ten years I had my eye on an administrative position at a local teaching hospital. I waited and waited for the position to become available. Finally, it did and I had an excellent chance of getting it. I had gone through the various layers of interviews and by all indications I was the leading candidate. Then, I was diagnosed with BC and had to withdraw my application as I felt I could not make the commitment the job required and I needed to focus on being cancer free. What timing!!! In this job market this type of positions are hard to come by, plus I had my heart set on it. Ironic...the person who accepted the position is a friend and BC survivor who just finished all her treatments. Sorry ladies if this all sounds trivial but I have worked so hard in my professional life and some how feel God has played a cruel joke on me. I'm so sad and angry that God has chosen this BC journey for me instead. What do you all think? Can anyone else shed some light because I sure don't get it???

Hugs...

Odalys, Yes, it seems the timing is really hard, but maybe you need to go through this difficult experience to get something you will need in your next job challenge. You already sound pretty wise to me, but maybe there is something you are learning that you didn't know before. One door seems to be closing, but others are opening up all over the place, it's just hard to see them right now because you have a lot to deal with. I think it is normal to feel really down sometimes; I know I sure do. It's so hard to trust trust trust when just four months ago I didn't know there was any of this stuff to worry about. But just when it's the hardest to trust and accept that this experience has meaning in my life, that's when I must trust the most, I think.

My arms hold you,

Anna

Odalys, you have been one of the most positive people in this group. Maybe God is not playing a cruel joke but instead he has something different in mind for you. For me, I have chosen to look at having breast cancer as a test and an opportunity to become a better person. When I finish with my treatment I plan to become a volunteer angel at Johns Hopkins helping other women who are newly diagnosed. I will continue to work since I'm not ready to retire yet but my priorities have definately changed and my career has become less important, while spending quality time with family and friends has taken on new meaning.

Hope everyone else in the group had a good weekend. Anyone having treatment this week? I will have AC#3 on Tues the 27th. So far, my first week after treatment is a little rough but I feel pretty good the 2d week. All of a sudden I hate regular bottled spring water. I can't stand the taste so I have started drinking mineral/sparkling water with lemon which seems to do the trick. My hair is pretty much gone except for a patch on the top my head towards the back which looks ridiculous.

LizM - I'll be having treatment #3 after you on 12/30/05. Hope we don't experience too much cumulative effect.

Good evening everyone. Wow, i have been off for a while, and I had 56 posts to catch up with. I should have taken notes, because so many things were mentioned that I wanted to comment on. Most current in my mind is Odalys woes. Dont feel God is playing a cruel joke on you, You are a strong person and HE knows that. I agree with what someone posted about maybe this being a learning thing for your carreer later on. I certainly have my days too, when I feel like, geez I have had enough already. I lost my husband to a a sudden heart attack almost 2 years ago. Along with that huge loss in my life, I lost the huge income and health insurance that he carried. Now I am in huge financial debt, with 2 teenage daughters, a house I cant afford for much longer, and a new job last January, that did provide health insurance for me and my girls, but I had to leave due to this BC. Luckily, God directed me to take the job at the local bank, because the benefits were good, and it was close to home, (pay was lousy)but I figured the compensation would come from being near by. I was covered by the family health insurance on April 18th,(what should have been my husbands bday) and found the lump in my left breast May 8th, mother's day, then officially diagnosed with BC May 27th. God definately had his hand in my decision on taking this job, and providing what I needed to get through this journey with coverage.

On another note, I have lost all my hair, just stubble left. But my head is killing me all the time. I have a rash like area right at the back of my head where it hits the pillow. A hairdresser I know thinks, that shaving it down to 1/4", may have caused the stubble to go back in and create this. All's I know is I HATE IT!! I wear soft fleece hats most of the time. When I do wear my wig, I wear a little sleep cap under it. I made a huge mistake of wearing the wig the first day after shaving down my hair, with nothing under the wig, and it rubbed my head all day. I was miserable.

I have had 2 AC treatments, with little side effects. Indigestion being the worst I guess. I take prescription Zantac, and lots of Tums. I use all the anti nausea meds, and they must work, because I only get queasy a little around day 5 or 6, but the companzine works for that. I do get terrible constipation from the zofran or decadron. It is brutal, and I use senekot and colace, neither seem to do much good. I will have to address this with the doctor when I go in for my 3rd treatment, on Dec 29th.

I have been trying to stay positive, focused and cheerful. I have my tree up, and did send some cards. I have been away from the boards because of shopping online, ebay mostly, instead of hitting the germy malls. I have to share my computer with 2 teenage daughters, so my time
on here is limited!

It is a busy time for all of us, and to deal with doctor appts, insurance phone calls, shopping, wrapping, house chores, i am grateful not to be working. I dont know how any of you that are working, manage it. You are my heros! I sleep most days after the girls leave for school, til near 11am, and then slowly get stuff done around the house. I am lucky to be dressed by the time they come home! I guess chemo brain has me too, i cant seem to stay focused and complete anything. Oh well, this too shall pass!

I pray everynight for all of us, to come through this as easily as possible, and we are all chosen people, so we must be the strong ones. My best friend, admitted she is so impressed with how i am handling this, and that she thinks she would lay in bed and just cry herself to death. I dont think she would, I believe GOD would give her or anyone the strength to JUST DO IT.

Hang in there everyone, less than a week away to the Birthday of Jesus, and a very Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it.

I love these boards and have come to love all of you here on this November 05 group. Good night, LynnZ

Hi all,

I am in agreement with you ladies that God has his hand in all of this and doors will open and lessons will be learned. One of mine is learning to accept help from people. That is sooooo hard for me. I told my therapist that I cannot even sit still on the couch if someone else is doing my dishes, it drives me insane. How bad is that. I have to train my two teenagers better to take over some of the work. We are slowly getting there.

I got fed up with the handfuls of hair in the shower today so I had my husband buzz it off. He shaved his head, too. What a relief to get it all overwith! I thought I might become a basket case, but I actually felt OK about it. Like I was taking control. But I loved my hair and I'm sure I will cry about it later. I tend to have delayed reactions to things. Self protective mechanism, I guess.

Thanks everyone for continuing to provide the greatest support of others going through the same thing. It keeps me going!

Laura

Dear sisters: My parents and brother asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I really couldn't tell them anything particular. I can tell you. I wish I could have all of you in a room together for a little spell, and that we could talk and hold each others' hands. That would be one fantastic gift. I wish we could all learn the lessons we are learning without the pain and fear. I wish I had an on/off switch for the tears (mostly off). I wish our "leaders" were less interested in personal profit and power than in making sure nobody ever had to worry about paying for medical treatment. I know it is doable; other countries take care of their sick, their children, their old. Why don't we?

I wish only good things for all of you.

Anna

Grace, I too am very fortunate to be given six months off work if I want it (I do, at least right now) with benefits. I'm sure glad I have put in 18 years at that place (a high school) and they are being so good to me. Also they all chipped in and have brought me meals M-W-F since the end of September. I could maybe function at work, but it would be pushing it. I think it would wear me down over time. I get tired easily too sometimes and like to be able to lay down when I need to.

Anna, your wish made me get teary (yes I wish I could flip the switch off too sometimes!), it was so sweet. All of it was very well said. No woman should have to fight this with insurance/job woes or any other avoidable stress.

Laura