My apologies
Hello everyone
I just wanted to let you all know that I asked the moderators to delete the entire thread and it was done. I am very very sorry that my post caused so many problems. In the future I will think long and hard before I post, and not post all together when I am on my medication. I know you all are going through some very tough times also and I did not mean to upset anyone. Some of the things I wrote I did not mean, I just get very very angry sometimes. I hope you all accept my apologies and thank you to everyone who tried to help. Anna
Comments
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Hi Anna,
When I got my diagnosis, the world exploded in front of my eyes. I went through every emotion too. I cried a lot and was angry a lot. Dealing with it has gotten better but I still have my days. No one wants to hear a cancer diagnosis and it changes our world completely. I read that your BF is taking you away for the weekend. Go and enjoy yourself.
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Hi Anna,
I don't know anything about the thread you mentioned. I had my many angry moments & explosions. I am doing a lot better but it took awhile. So hang in there.
Sending love & support. NJ
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Make yourself at home here.....I found this place rather confusing when I arrived. It helped me to read and read and get a sense of the place and people before posting. It is not easy to navigate these long threads populated with women.....it is like a citadel. Hopefully you will feel better in time. .....Be well.
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Fear is a powerful emotion.Anger too. I hope you find all that you will need to move forward in your journey and that you can get it behind you with good health in front of you.
God Bless.
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Welcome back, Anna.
Yes, it is very overwhelming and frightening. You are at the worst point in the process right now and the fear of the unknown is horrible. I saw where you were originally advised to have a lumpectomy and then got a call changing the advice to a masectomy. I am so sorry to hear that. I can understand your feelings. Please use these boards to help you steer through this rocky road. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, it's just a long way to it.
Bless you and I hope you are able to navigate this as painlessly as possible.
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I hope you can find your way through your treatment with as much peace as possible. There is support on this board - even on the rough days. The beginning is very overwhelming. I cried for days. I still cry sometimes....today I cried a lot too. Just one of those days I guess. It happens sometimes. This is no walk in the park. Best of luck to you.
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Hi Anna,
I am 7 months out of treatment. I had chemo, a mastectomy and radiation. The worst period for me was the time of diagnosis until my first treatment. It got better when I started treatment. The intitial shock of having breast cancer was over and I felt like I was doing something about it. I had no control over having breast cancer but I had control over getting treatment and ridding my body of the disease.
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Anna, my worst time was radiation...I was an emotional basketcase....I too should not type anything when I am almost ready to lie down after taking my sleeping aid....in my case, my spelling just goes to hell in a handbaket....and I am unaware of it (how is that for being a grammar teacher....seriously)....this is a place to rant....put people into the fire on Jo's site or rant about the stupid things people have said to you. ...if you need an angry page...label it as an angry page and have at her...people who are not feeling angry won;t go there...
Be gentle with yourslf Anna....whatever that means to you.
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Welcome back, Anna, and thank you for addressing your concerns to the mods. It was gracious of you to return and explain.
Yes, meds can do a number on all of us. Please sit and stay a while and let the healing of sisterhood surround you -- I just reread that and it sounds pretty cliche', but this can be a very healing place. Post as you like, as as mentioned above, be gentle with yourself.
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Thank you everyone
Your kind and supportive posts mean the world to me. I really hope I can make a fresh start, and I wish my first day here never happened. I have received some wonderful Private Messages, but I also continue to receive some hateful ones (2 people in particular) Would you know how I can get these messages to stop? A few people suggested I change my name but I really don't want to do that since it is what my dad calls me and I also don't want anyone to think I am up to anything sneaky- I have had enough of that.
Any help would be so appreciated. Thanks again.And yay- I just discovered spell check!
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If the PMs are harrassing, insulting, intimidating or contain anything like "do or say this....or else...." publish the names or letters.
There should be no expectation of privacy for pms, as this is a public, "inpersonal" forum and we are allowed to use aliases. Nor do the usual ladylike decency rules apply for what are essentially anonymous notes.
I got a "say/do this....or else..." pm the other day and I published it. Never allow threateners to intimidate you. Sorry that you are dealing with this.
In fact, I am hoping my response will help to persuade these cowards to leave you alone.
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anna- hugs. don't let a few bad apples get you down.
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Anna,
I am thrilled to see that you now have what you will need most to get through treatment: a sense of perspective. Thank you for making sure that your initial thread got deleted. It says a lot about you.
None of this is fun. What I would say now is to sit tight until you have a full diagnosis and treatment plan.
The other thing I would mention is that having breast cancer and not liking your job are two different matters. Take care of your health first. Once you are past that, you can work on your career. You can be bored at work for a while longer. Trust me, having medical insurance is very important at this point. (Being self-employed, I get to pay my own.)
Anyway, good luck. You will be past this before you know it. I am sorry for the hateful PMs. Glad you are getting away this weekend. Make sure you do this again once treatment is over. I couldn't take the time as was doing a cycling fundraiser and now wish I had. Not a biggie in the scheme of things, but would have been nice. - Claire
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Anna (i am a good apple)....
if you click on a person's screen name, their profile pops up. To the right there is an option to 'ignore' this member. I've never tested it, but I'm pretty sure they will not be allowed to send you private messages... or you won't receive them.
Glad to test this out if someone wants to be a guinea pig in the next 5 minutes.
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Ok Anna - this trip is a rough road and fear does many things...I am sorry that the initial post did really hit on a sore subject - and also that you recoginized it and have an opportunity to start afresh with what is a really wonderful community...honest!
The beginning is the worst - before you know it, you will be on here sharing your experience to help another newbie. I lurked for some time before I could 'post' - it was kinda like denying I had just been diagnosed but I needed help and I felt like a kindergartener raising their hand for the first time in class and saying 'Hi, I'm New' and that was about all I could muster for the first post on the stage iv forum. It changed everything for me - I hope that your experience here improves and some very wise folks can help you get through the treatments, their side effects and coping with having breast cancer.
One thing - you are very fortunate to be a very early stager...promise me that you will do whatever it takes so that we don't get to meet over on the stage iv forum...
It was very brave of you to have the thread deleted and come back - you have some spunk and that will really help you work your way through this crap and get back to the living parts again...
Hugs...LowRider
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Anna: You have to accept the fact that your "unusual" original post came on pretty hard to swallow even for "me". I had to delete my own reply to you after reading it and remembering our rules. I would not PM you because that is not my style and once it looked like you realized the implications of your post and was willing to get it all cleared away, I think we can all start anew with you. I think whoever is sending nasty PMs will probably stop once they realize this is being resolved in the thread and all their PMS will do is get them into trouble.
Take care and be thankful they caught your bc early and you can get whatever treatments you need to make you a long term survivor.
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Thank you so much. For all of you to be going through what you ae going through- but to take the time out and write me.... well, I am almost speechless. Yes, I can definitely see that there are some wonderful ladies here, and I almost do not feel worthy. Ya'll have inspired me to fight this beast head on with everything I have. I'm sure a bad day or two (or three or four) might pop up here and again, but I will try to take one day at a time. I saw the Dr today and I think I am going to have the BRCA test, cause breast and ovarian cancer runs in my family, and I am so young. I also am pretty sure I am going to have a mastectomy because of all the stuff (calcifications) in my breast. Anyway- you guys have made my day - reading all of your kind posts and messages. I am going to try and get better so I can make a difference in other people's journey, the way you guys have in mine. A million thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Good for you Anna!!
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Anna...
LOVE the Steelers (after the Pats of course)
I too would use the "ignore this person" option to block PM's from people who are more toxic than helpful to you.
You will find the vast majority of the ladies here will be very helpful as you continue this journey.
AFA your first post. It's water under the bridge now and all that water is out to sea by this time. You took steps that you felt would rectifiy it so let it go and continue on with the fresh step approach we are all taking now. You have better things to do with your energy now, and so do the rest of us.
God Bless.
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Anna,
Sorry that you got off to such a rough start. Glad to see you are back!
Just one more tip that isn't really obvious until you have been around for awhile and get a feel for this board.... Something I didn't know early on was that some of the later stage forums (especially the Stage III and Stage IV ones) are considered, by most, to be reserved for those ladies of that stage to discuss issues that are unique to them. Although I think posts of encouragement are OK.
I know I take great care to respect their space and always check to see what the thread is before responding, especially when responding to a post that crops up in the active topics.
The ladies here really are very supportive and do want to help.
Best of Luck!
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anna- Welcome back and thank you for wishing to "start fresh". Needless to say, these ladies (myself included) have strong opinions. That can be tough to take, but it can also be very supportive. They will fight like H#$%^&ll to help you if you need it. How are you doing now? Where are you in your treatments? Let us know if we can help and feel free to vent. The early days of diagnosis really were the scariest for me. Once I got a game plan, I felt a little more in control.
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Welcome back Anna!!
I am sure we are all looking forward to getting to know the "real" Anna! Hang in there, girl- you can do this!
Molly
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Anna, I would not be too worried about being friends with people in this forum who think they are in a middle-school clique. No-one has to read your posts, and I'm sure you can sleep at night without them. Best wishes to you.
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Hi Anna,
Glad you didn't let those responses scare you off the boards. There really is a lot of helpful info here. Personally I thought there was nothing wrong with your original post and see no need for you to apologize. You were being honest about how you felt and even a stage one diagnosis is scary as hell and you just don't know what will happen next. Sometimes these boards turn into the Real Housewives of BC.org!
That being said, at stage 1 you do have a great chance of getting through this to recovery and we all hope you do. Getting through treatment is rough, but I know for me, working towards normalicy and going back to the life I had before cancer is what always motivates me to get through these treatments. You will have many diff emotions as you work through this and so I do agree with those who suggested working with a counselor to help you process all you are feeling. Hugs Anna and stay strong!
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Dear Anna,
A fresh start! You are a gutsy young lady, and I think that will serve you very well. I do hope you try to maintain as much of your normal life as possible until after your surgery. Maybe then you'll decide to switch jobs or embark on a new path that brings you more happiness and fulfillment.. But I think major decisions should wait until you have more time to sort through it all. You are in the early, confusing stage. Hang in there! I pray that after your surgery this whole cancer business will be a thing of the past, and you will be counseling others through it.
Be smart and be strong!
Wishing you all the best,
Rose.
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So sorry you are having to go through this. Cancer is cancer and it is a very scary thing. We have all had different experiences some not so bad and some not so good. I was one of those sickies just last year fighting hard to live. Anyway. I wish you all the best in your fight and a fresh start here. I did read your first post and I confess I couldn't decided if you were a troll or someone frighten out of their mind. I glad you came back. This is a wonderful place most of the time.
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Just wanted to update everyone. I am having a bilateral mastectomy next Friday. My Doctor says there is extensive calcifications in both breasts. I also had blood drawn for the genetic test. I just found out that my Aunt on my mother's side is BRCA1 positive. My mom is going to be tested soon after I get my results back. I am very scared but am handling it much better than I was last week.
I did want to tell you all something funny. One of the ladies who was sending me nasty PM's just wouldn't stop. She kept saying I wasn't who I said I was. First I send her my Oncologist's phone number. She said she called but the office wouldn't confirm or deny that I was a patient there (of course). I then asked her for a fax number and I faxed her a receipt from my oncologists office (kind of like a statement you get on your way out). Once she received this she said that I "may" be legitimate but if I thought she was going to apologize I had another thing coming. But- at least her messages stopped which is all I wanted. I know I shouldn't have felt like I needed to prove anything to her, but it was driving me crazy that she thought I was lying. Geez.....
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OMG Anna!!!! You gave this nut your private info????? You don't have to prove anything to anybody...ever. Those who want to help, will help. Everyone else can go on "ignore". I'm glad to hear the fear is subsiding. Good luck on Friday.
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Anna,
For future reference, notify the moderators of any abusive PMs. Giving a mere stranger private and medical information is never wise. Ever.
Good Luck
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Ditto to what Marie said. I would just report it and not engage in conversation with them in that situation.
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