Reality Hits

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kindone
kindone Member Posts: 523

Today I took my sister to my ono because she was just dx with stage 1 bc.  She had a lumpectomy now she has to see it she needs chemo.  Her onco test wasn't back yet so we don't know.  Anyway while he was taking to her he keep saying she is in a good spot being ER+PR+ and Her- grade 2 and she might not have to have chemo.  He was very positive with her and her out come and she just loved him.  I am so glad that they found her cancer early and this might be the end of it.  I was saying I am only 80% ER+ PR- HER-  grade 3 2pos nodes. So I was trying to make her feel she is in a good place.  Well Dr looks a me and says she is in a different ball park all together and we all laughed.  When I left there I think reality hit.

Comments

  • bevin
    bevin Member Posts: 1,902
    edited February 2011

    Dear Betty - I am so sorry you heard this. I know you love your Onco - but that was insensitive for him to say.  I don't blame you for feeling sad and being hit hard by the comment.  It's great though that you can use your strength, knowledge and love to help your sister through this too.

    Sending you a big HUG and sending thoughts of strength to you.

    xoxo Bevin

  • kindone
    kindone Member Posts: 523
    edited February 2011

    Bevin, Please don't take me wrong.  I do love my onco and it wasn't meant to be insensitive it was just the way I took it.

  • bevin
    bevin Member Posts: 1,902
    edited February 2011

    HI Betty - I know, I sometimes think doctors don't "hear" how their comments come across to us.  I'm sure he was trying to ensure your sister understood her situation and how it differs from yours.  . I truly apologize if my note sounded as though I was  being critical..I just felt bad for you and realized he may not have thought  about the way you could feel or take the comment. Obviously, neither did I..

    Sending you thoughts of strength and healing. 

     xox

    Bevin

  • kindone
    kindone Member Posts: 523
    edited February 2011
  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited February 2011

    I know what you mean.  There are times it kind of sneaks up on us.  I try to tell myself that the probability isn't my personal reality.  Good luck to both you and your sister.  Hugs, G.

  • Maureen813
    Maureen813 Member Posts: 2,893
    edited February 2011

    Bevin,  just read your post and I'm so sorry you needed to hear that from onc.  I'm sure he didn't mean the way you took it and didn't realize what he was doing.  I'd call him out on your next visit without your sister. You have the right to know.  What did he mean by that statement.  I'm guessing he meant the chemo treatments that she probably won't need.  Was he referring to the fact that you need chemo kitchen sink and you did not?  Anyway,((((((((((((((hugs to you))))))))))))))))))))). I really hope your sister doesn't need the chemo route, you know what that's like!!

    Maureen

  • clariceak
    clariceak Member Posts: 752
    edited February 2011

    I know what you mean. My sister was dxed a few years before me with stage 2. My mother would say things to me about her poor prognosis. My mother was an rn so I know she really wanted to see my path report. That is never going to happen.



    My sister was a wonderful source of support. Wishing the best for you and your sister.

  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited February 2011

    omg that would have killed me to hear that... I am very sensitive but that was not called for. You both deserve only messages of hope and support.

  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited February 2011

    I think I understand what you mean.  It's great news for your sister and I know that is very important.  We are in a different ballpark.  But that doesn't mean we can't hit the ball out of the park, too! 

    Yes, we are much closer to the stage IV dx.  So we get watched closer.  We cringe everytime we feel something new.  Scared that it might be the next step in our dx.  But we also get taken very seriously by our medical team.  So we get the scans, the tests, whatever it takes to prove that our concerns are not cancer.  And so many of us keep on going to live long lives.  We find a strength we never knew we had.  We don't want to be here but, because we are, we have gotten stronger and so many of us appreciate each day in ways we never could before.

    Your sister is going to be fine and so will you.  And you are not alone!  Our ballpark is filled with wonderful women!

  • littletower
    littletower Member Posts: 333
    edited February 2011

    Love the 'tude Anacortes. Here's to the ballpark in which we kick big league ass!!

  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited February 2011

    It sounds like he was trying to make a joke and probably didn't realize how it would sound after you repeated it to yourself a few times.  I'm sorry you had to feel that way.

  • kindone
    kindone Member Posts: 523
    edited February 2011

    Thanks Ladies,  I know it was meant to be funny, It just hit me at that time.  Its just what this stage dose to you.  My sister is doing great, Thanks

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