BC support groups

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minxie
minxie Member Posts: 484
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

Has anyone had any luck with these? I've tried going to my local one, but I don't get much out of it. I am in my 40s, had my kids in my 30s, so they're still young. All the women with in the group are a bit older, lots with grandkids. They're at a different stage in life than me, and I feel like they ... can't relate to my concerns? I'm always very worried and often freaking out over my diagnosis, and they all seem so serene and accepting about the fact that they got breast cancer.

 I end up feeling like I hog the meeting with my problems, like I'm the only one upset and crying. From reading these boards I can see I'm not the only one that feels this way - so why is my breast cancer support group filled with all these saintly troopers?

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  • jorja61952
    jorja61952 Member Posts: 68
    edited February 2011

    Hi Minxie, I smiled to hear your description of "saintly troopers". The first thought that came to my mind is that sometimes the group dynamic will discourage sharing anything negative.

    Terribly brave of you to pour out your heart in that situation. I hope they were kind to you. And if you decide to stay in the group, perhaps you will give someone else courage to give voice to similar feelings. :)

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  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited February 2011

    miniex....I think its a matter of finding the right group....right after I was Dx, I went to a bc support group and never went back....when I told my "story" I got all this  poor you and oh my gosh....they were all early stage and many of them had been in the group together for a while....I tried another a couple years later, and it was better, an open group with people all ages, dealing with all stages (cancer and life)...but it fell apart......I have a friend who has been in one for 4 years and she calls the people in the group her support sisters....SO it works for some and not for others....bco has been my support group...

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  • mdg
    mdg Member Posts: 3,571
    edited February 2011

    I haven't gone to one yet.  I am also worried about that because I am 45 but I only have a 4 year old son.  Not many 45 year olds have a little one like me.  I feel like I won't fit in.  Even on the chat board the category for people my age is age 40-60.  I don't see me having that much in common (as far as life and personal issues other than BC) with someone that is 60.  If you want to chat online, private message me.  It is hard with young kids!  It adds even more stress...nothing like being at the end of my rope dealing with starting chemo soon and my 4 year old is having a completely irrational meltdown kicking and screaming on the bathroom floor when I ask him to go to the bathroom.  Sometimes I just want to run to my room, slam the door and crawl in bed and cry myself.  I know I can't.....my son needs me to be there for him.  This is so hard when your kids have NO idea and don't understand how this impacts you.  I can't see me discussing this with a group of significanlty older women that are not in the same situation.  I am going to try a support group this week....crossing my fingers I can find a new friend in a similar stage of life to chat with.  I have found several people online from this site and we talk be email daily.  That has helped me alot! 

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