Guidance about when to apply for LTD (no FMLA at job)

Morning all

I have some questions about the application process for private (i.e., through my employer) long term disability benefits.

I have stage iv breast cancer with liver and bone mets from the outset. I am an associate lawyer. I recently had a year end inventory for 2010. Although it felt like to me that I worked as hard as I could, and could just not work one iota harder, I only billed 1200 hours - that is about 64% of my goal (1900 hours) (billable hours are not just the time you are in the office, but only the hours you are actively working on a file, writing a memo, etc. To get 1200 billable hours I was actually probably in the office about 1400 hours). It was made very clear to me that this performance cannot be repeated.

 As I said, I can't work one percent harder this year than I did last. I put my all into working - and I have an hour commute each way to my place of employment. I experienced some cognitive changes (i.e., memory deficits) due to chemo, absences because of chemo, side effects, drs appointments, not being able to come in after bad scan results (that happened twice last year) - and the job as an associate attorney is grueling and extremely stressful - especially knowing that if one day I only bill 6 hours, when I should have billed 8, that I have that deficit over my head. I am on Tykerb, Femara and have Herceptin and Zometa infusions every 3 weeks.

I have been living with liver mets for a year now - and, well, you all know the statistics. The fact remains I cannot perform my particular occupation - which is an associate attorney expected to bill 1900 hours a year. FYI, my LTD policy is an own (specialty) occupation policy. Additionally, knowing my time is likely limited I do not think I WANT to spend 10 hours at the office and then a 2 hour commute. Every. Day.

So - I am exploring LTD. I am going to be applying for accelerated life insurance benefits next week - already have my form filled out and my onc filled out. I know that many LTD carriers will make you also apply for SSD (that will take off about $2K from my LTD carrier's payments and they will only have to pay aroung 1600), and I am preparing (gathering all my paperwork) for that, and I understand approval is certain through SSD.

My questions are this

what is the timing for applying for LTD? My firm is too small to qualify for FMLA. They have a short term disability plan, but I am afraid that if I go out on ST that I will be fired since I don't have the FMLA job protection benefit (though the firm's policy says kind of that your job is protected - well it doesn't say anything about what they can or cannot do while you're out but does say that you are NOT guaranteed a job when you are done with ST), thus losing out on the LTD benefit (which will pay 60% of my salary (I currently make over six figures) - obviously a huge benefit I don't want to miss out on).

 Should I go out on ST then like a day later submit my LTD application? How does it work? I just don't trust my employer because it is a small firm, and very money conscious. I'm sure they already are pissed about my health insurance (I had about 600K in claims last year). Not to mention I already missed my budget by about $38,000.

Also - in general about LTD - how does that work and will I be approved do you think? I know stage iv w/mets is automatic for SSD - what about for private LTD? Is a terminal illness, with visceral metastasis like I have, enough (of course w/your doctor's forms filled out that you are disabled - my onc is on board and agrees) to qualify for private LTD? I am just worried I may have problems w/it because I don't trust insurance companies - I'm young, I'm a high earner....I just don't know what to expect.

Looking for guidance - thanks. I am planning on calling the patient advocate foundation and talking to the social worker at Moffitt - but thought I'd write to get your all's input. THANKS!!!!