November 2009-Starting Chemo

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  • suzieq60
    suzieq60 Member Posts: 6,059
    edited January 2011
  • micheleboots
    micheleboots Member Posts: 1,993
    edited January 2011
  • doronet
    doronet Member Posts: 342
    edited January 2011

    Sue:  I think I dated someone that looked like that.  Of course, I was probably drunk.

     Happy Sunday from freezing Northern VA!!!  Nette  :) 

  • micheleboots
    micheleboots Member Posts: 1,993
    edited January 2011
    Looks a bit like Micjk Jagger, did you date him Nette?Laughing
  • suzieq60
    suzieq60 Member Posts: 6,059
    edited January 2011

    LOL - you girls are so funny!!! Rads not till 11 today so I can sit around in my PJ's. Boob looking good so far.

    Brenda - where are you? We miss you.

    Sue

  • BrendaSharon
    BrendaSharon Member Posts: 506
    edited January 2011

    Here I am! ~~~

    Just been hiding out on the sofa mostly. I have had a cold that just won't quit.

    And been trying just to stay warm and inside the house. work has been really slow and I've been set home every day early last week. My hours get less ad less and if something doesn't give soon I will be BROKE as heck. Me ad DH may have to go bankrupt. I never thought I'd even have to say that. So, I'm a little down. It was bad enough I lost time (not much though) during cancer and I thought well this year will be better, but it is NOT. I have been here for 31/2 years and still make the same lousy $9:00 per hour, BUT my hours have been slowly cut since I started. I started with 50 hours which gave 10 hours overtime...that was a good check for me anyways, then it went to 40 and ow I'm lucky to get 30-35 hours a week. Losing all the OT really hurts. Enough of me whining...Sorry I haven't been here for y'all ..I am reading just nothing exciting to post.

    I've pretty well got over the fact I even ever had cancer. I feel pretty much normal like everyone else. I guess it's good, I don't dwell on it much anymore at all. Maybe I should then I wouldn't sit around and just feel sorry for myself.

    Cool Dragon ... Loved the pic sue!!!

    Love all y'all, Brenda

  • suzieq60
    suzieq60 Member Posts: 6,059
    edited January 2011

    Brenda - I'm so sorry they're cutting your hours - times must be so tough over there. Any chance of finding a second job? It is good to hear from you, I knew if I asked you would answer :) but I can understand you are over the whole bc thing - don't blame you.

    (((((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))

    Sue

  • BrendaSharon
    BrendaSharon Member Posts: 506
    edited January 2011

    Thanks Sue,

    I wish there was a second job I could get, but I'm lucky to have one job here in this small town of Carrabelle. I just was sent home again and the worst part is dealing with the supervisors' non  cha lant attitude and it's as if he doesn't care. He makes the big bucks and if this site where to shut down he can go back to Ohio where he came from (that is where our corporate office is). And he would still make the big $$$. So, no sweat on his part. I left in tears today and was thinking I was happier last year at least I knew why I was leaving early, for treatments... not just to be sent home. There are many jobs I can't do anymore... I used to do a lot of physical type jobs (my fault for lack of education) but now I can't do the physical anymore between my health issues and all. BUT..also could not claim disability because I never stopped working before while going thru treatment..stupid me!!!! right now I hate life and myself for it's all my fault no one else's. At 57 years old all I can do is min. wage jobs...so depressing! If it weren't for my DH loving me so I would not even care if I had lost my life ... it may have been easier

  • suzieq60
    suzieq60 Member Posts: 6,059
    edited January 2011

    Brenda - I sent you a PM - we all love you!!!!

  • doronet
    doronet Member Posts: 342
    edited January 2011
    Brenda:  you made it through last year for a reason:  because God has a purpose for you, so don't give up.  Give it to Him and let Him carry it for you.  You might not see it now, but He has a plan.  You are in my prayers.  (((((((((( HUGS)))))))))   Nette
  • micheleboots
    micheleboots Member Posts: 1,993
    edited January 2011
    Brenda, Nettes right we are all here for ya...No matter what you  want to chat/bitch about.  I hear ya on the education thing.  I only have a grade 12 and some collage...I am lucky that I have a good job, but any time things could change...Things will look up soon...I always find when it is cold and yucky out, I feel sad...But spring is around the corner and better things could be around the corner for you too...You are healthy and you have loving Dh to stand by you...You also have us wonderful, hot sexy ladies to stand by your side...Kiss
  • BrendaSharon
    BrendaSharon Member Posts: 506
    edited January 2011

    Girls, Thanks for showing all the love ((((((((((((Big Hugs)))))))))))))

    Now you know why I haven't posted much...I'm kinda a downer and that's the last thing any of you sweet ladies need with all you have had to deal with yourselves..sure love y'all though

    Michele, You got me to laugh with the "Hot, Sexy Ladies" comment! Thanks I needed that.

    Nette your right....God has a reason for me still being here...I just need to figure it out.  I tend to get depressed a lot and I'm already on meds for it. When I went thru the breast cancer situation I didn't think about all my other issues that are sneaking back up in my head. for some reason my heart just huts. The weather isn't helping either ..then my mom went back to NY and I miss being able to freely talk to her as I do. I need to figure out HOW to give myself to God, I will pray for this Sweet Jesus..Amen

    Sue, The job thing is really depressing here in my small county...if I loose this job, which I can't afford to do..I'm not sure what will come next .. maybe I'm fearing the worst and things may turn out just fine, I so have to just learn to chill some

    I love you girls,

    Thank you for being you and just letting me be me and free and honest with y'all

  • Cafelovr
    Cafelovr Member Posts: 1,534
    edited January 2011

    (((Brenda))) Cry. Don't be sad! Have you looked into disability? Just because you worked through treatment, that doesn't mean something hasn't changed. Would you dr agree to you being "disabled". I wish I had the right words to say to make it all better. Believe it or not, we are all struggling in some form. I am sending you a big cyber hug!!

    I know jobs are tight in FL. If I could find one for me, I'd be there in a heartbeat. I'm homesick!!

    Michele: Yeah, I'm hot alright...from a hot flash! Darn things let up, but came back with a force since they upped my Tamoxifen.

    I love you all!

  • Melinda41
    Melinda41 Member Posts: 672
    edited January 2011

    Brenda: I'll sit right beside you and be a Debbie Downer too. I have also had issues with depression prior to cancer. Cancer year kinda shocked my mental system and I didn't have the depression. Now that cancer year appears to be over, I am just like....That is it?? Wreck my body, wreck my finances, steal all that time, steal from my kids, and that is it?  No epihany, no inner peace, no secret to life. Just scars and more debt and a year older.

  • BrendaSharon
    BrendaSharon Member Posts: 506
    edited January 2011

    Melinda,

    Thanks for sharing that, and grab your chair! At least I know I'm not a total whack job. I thought it was just me that felt undepressed while going thru cancer...and yep now that cancer is over, low and behold,the depression returns.. very strange.. you may have something in that it had shocked our bodies into a state of non-depression.. I wish it had stayed shocked

    Linda ..if only I could qualify for anything I would be tickled... me and DH always come up to that middle class of you doing just OK...because we make just enough we don't qualify for anything.

  • JustmeAlicia
    JustmeAlicia Member Posts: 1,529
    edited January 2011

    Brenda, Melinda ~  big hugs firstly.  And I too have been having days just like that.  I am blaming it on the cold, depressing weather, mountains of bills I can't pay, and such ~ 2/8 will be my 1 year from my last chemo.  I think that is setting me off too.  I agree with Melinda, I feel like well that's it.  Now sit and wait for it to return.  WELL it better not come back for me ~ it will be sorry !

    Hugs girls... we've been through a lot and have to allow ourselves to sometimes just feel shitty.

    Alicia

  • micheleboots
    micheleboots Member Posts: 1,993
    edited January 2011

    hugs to all my sweet, hot sexy, funny, cancer babes.  sending out cyber group hugs...feel the love. One thing to be thankful for...that you were not here in Ottawa yesterday..it was freeze your ass off cold.  I think it was -28 or something like that...my brain froze so I can't remember the exact number.

  • micheleboots
    micheleboots Member Posts: 1,993
    edited January 2011
    Lots_of_snow  So this is a picture, a very fuzzy picture, of my daughter in our driveway a couple of years ago...that should help to cheer you up...at least you dont have to shovel this.Surprised
  • Cafelovr
    Cafelovr Member Posts: 1,534
    edited January 2011

    I have goose bumps just looking at it!

  • doronet
    doronet Member Posts: 342
    edited January 2011

    So, two days ago, I was walking my dog and it was 11 degrees.  Sounds warm compared to -28, though.  Yesterday when I walked her, we were having a heat wave at 30 deg.  Today, no school due to ice, possibility of 3-5 in. pf snow later today.  And it's only Jan.  Our worst weather last year was in Feb.  Undecided

    Stay warm, everyone!  Well, except you, Sue!  More ((((hugs)))) to Sexy-thing in Carrabelle, FL!  Cool

  • BrendaSharon
    BrendaSharon Member Posts: 506
    edited January 2011

    1st ~~~~ I am so glad I have you all in my life!!!! 

    Here I am thinking I was chillin.....Oh my gosh I can't even think about soooo much snow..tis beautiful however ......in a picture .. Linda, I'm way past chill bumps, that gives me boulder bumps..can ya tell i work in a mine..yab-a-dab-a-do!   I feel for ya Mechele, my Chella ..I still think Canada is gorgeous though and has great fishing

    Alicia, I decided to try to be positive today and continue with that... I'm out of my funk and trying to concentrate on my blessings instead of my problems ...of course i am also working on really trying to settle the problems and I know with God's help I can do it.

    Nette, as you said there is a purpose I'm here...i know my kids need me and that is dang sure enough of a reason to keep the faith..gosh I'm a sexy thing...woo hooKiss

    Sue, I love you~~~~~~~~~~I love all of you !!! thanks for helping me get through the last couple of days..I am inspired and my spirits where lifted.... Thank you all Warriors!!!!!!

    ((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))

  • suzieq60
    suzieq60 Member Posts: 6,059
    edited January 2011

    DD and SIL are visiting. They've been to Sth America for 8 weeks and decided to come and see us for a couple of days even though it wasn't really on their way home. We went on a gourmet picnic yesterday to a nearby mountain (more a hill than mountain). It was much cooler up there though and we had a nice time. It was the Australia Day holiday so the picnic ground was packed. They go home late today.

    Back to reality and rads today. Skin looking really good so far - only 23 to go.

    Brenda I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. I realised yesterday, I've been in shut down mode. Don't want to do much of anything. Couldn't be bothered arranging the picnic - just want to stay close to home. Of course, it ended up a nice day, but I'm noticing my reluctance to join in quite a lot lately. Steve keeps trying to get me to go for a bike ride but I keep saying my tyres are flat. That's just how I feel - flat. Hopefully when the rads are over I can try to get back to normal.

    ((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

    Sue

  • suzieq60
    suzieq60 Member Posts: 6,059
    edited January 2011
  • doronet
    doronet Member Posts: 342
    edited January 2011

    He, Sue, you're not alone here.  We're digging out from the snow.  Of course, not the amount NY has, but it kicked Northern VA's butt!  Kids have now missed 4 days of school, so they'll be making up the extra day on Prez. day in Feb.  Hope the rads have continued to go well, most importantly, just "go!"  Take care!

     Happy Friday night!  (or Saturday morning to you!)  :) 

  • suzieq60
    suzieq60 Member Posts: 6,059
    edited January 2011

    Thanks Nette - you girls are the best. I wish it was snowing here but we never have that pleasure. DH gone to golf!! Hurray!! I can veg out doing my new cross stitch and watch TV.

    Sue

  • micheleboots
    micheleboots Member Posts: 1,993
    edited January 2011

    I am super excited.  I just got tickets to see Katy Perry with my daughter...she was surprised.  I can't wait.

  • Cafelovr
    Cafelovr Member Posts: 1,534
    edited January 2011

    That sounds so fun!

  • suzieq60
    suzieq60 Member Posts: 6,059
    edited January 2011

    Who is Katy Perry? - apart from a girl I see in endless Proactive ads.

    Hey girls - good news - we are thinking of going to England to see our son in August. His wife is due to have their first child in June. Relations have been strained ever since he met her and I still haven't even met the woman. We weren't invited to the wedding - long story. DH knows of a golf tour of Scotland and Ireland and we can do that and visit our son as well. I have always wanted to go to Scotland to see Stirling Castle as I am a member of the Wallace clan - my father's name was William Wallace. Of course, finances being very tight, DH will have to get off his bum and earn big time.

    Hope you are all resting up this weekend.

    Sue

  • micheleboots
    micheleboots Member Posts: 1,993
    edited January 2011

    Sounds exciting Sue.

  • feistybluegecko
    feistybluegecko Member Posts: 133
    edited January 2011

    Wow Sue - that is great news!  ANd I have to say it is a beautiful part of the country - I was brought up and went to school near Stirling (north of Callander) and it is a really picturesque area.  Where does your son live?  My daughter is near Edinburgh with her family and I try and get back and see them yearly.  

    Otherwise, all is good here,  my checks were last week and am still in NED's company.  I swam a mile yesterday and another mile today so am really making an effort to be healthy.  Though the wretched Tamoxifen means that I am stubbornly just as round in shape!!

    Hope you are all doing well.

    Hugs

    Philippa

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