May 2010 Chemo

Paxton - Cute!  Denise - My balance is fine.  Loved the picture.... um, where was the bald guy?? 

Ton of errands to do this morning (when I get off work in 3 1/2 hours).... Echo at 8:30; then Rec Dept to register Ryan for Spring Baseball; then to Goodwill to try and find him an outfit that resembles Samuel Adams for the Wax Museum at school on Friday... then home to try and sleep; karate in the evening... hopefully fit in a jog; work the next day, and then contractor is coming Thursday to finallllllly do some work around our house.  YAY!  And, sooo looking forward to dinner at my favorite, favorite restaurant on Saturday! 

Fingers crossed, Day.

DAy, I hope all went well with the MRI.

Went for my diagnostic mammogram today and they found 4 microcalcifications.  I had an appointment set up already to meet with my BS on Monday, but I called today after I got the results from the mammo. to see if I could get in this week.  I will find out more tomorrow, but they are going to try to get me in on Thursday for a stereotactic biopsy.  So the cycle begins again.  I feel like I am in a dream.  I know i should remain positive, but I am so worried I am going to havve to start all over again.  My 13 year old asked me yesterday when my mammogram was.  I told him I had it on Friday.  His first question was do you have breast cancer?  I wanted to break down and cry right then and there, but instead I said I won't get the results until Monday.  

I need everyones advice.  If I go in on Thursday to have the biopsy should I tell my kids before I go in of once I know what is going on.  I want to wait but I'm afraid they will figure it out and then be mad at me for not telling them.  What do you think?  They are 13 and 15.   The youngest is very emotional and the other keeps everything inside.  I am so scared to put them through this again.  Especially with my oldest, he got so angry and defiant last spring.  I don' t know what to do.  HELP! 

Thanks for all the positive vibes.  I really need them.  The first time through I was the poster child for postive attitude, right now I am having a very difficult time being positive.  I was at a funeral tonight of a 66 year old man who died of platelate cancer.  I forget the exact name.  The songs really got to me.  Especially Be Not Afraid.  Was that a sign for me too?   Once again rambling.  Sorry.

We are expecting more snow here on the east coast.  If I have off work I will have plenty of time to research.  Have a great night everyone.

Oh Barb, shit, shit, shit!!!  Pardon my french, but this just sucks. 

My girls are 8 1/2 and super aware of everything that goes on around here.  But that being said I don't think I would let on that there might be a recurrence until I actually had the results.  I probably wouldn't even tell them about the mammograms -- no need to get them all worked up again unless there really is something to worry about.  That's just my opinion.

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Day -- how long does it take to get the results from your scan?  I haven't had any scans so I don't know.  My fingers are still crossed for you (which makes it terribly hard to type).

Jen

Day - My prayers are with you.

Barb - I think I would wait.... they don't need to worry with you!  And, I dont' think they will be mad at you for not telling them!  I understand what you are saying, but really believe that you should know before telling them anything.  My thoughts and prayers are with you (let it be nothing).... (HUGS)  Leanna

Barb, I am so sorry! I cannot give you advice on this one - I never had children, but my heart goes out to you.



Girls, they said yesterday "two days", so if I don't hear anything tomorrow from my oncologists' office, I'll call Friday morning. A very good friend went with me, we used to work together for the State Emergency Management (she still works there). She is a wonderful lady - back in 2009, when I had my first "emergency revision" a month after the BMX+recon, 10 days before Thanksgiving, knowing that I wouldnt' be able to cook anything for Thanksgiving, and my sweet boyfriend is at a total loss when it comes cooking anything besides ramen and DiGiorno pizza - she came over and brought us a full Thanksgiving for two, in neat little containers,. She is a wonderful lady and an amazing friend. We spent a really nice day together, went to the MRI and then went to have lunch at the Golden Corral - where, after discussing in length all day abotu trying to be on a diet and eat healthy and mostly salads and such - we gorged ourselves with lots of meats (nothing fried, all grilled), some mashed potatoes, of course salad, fruit and bread pudding. We were as stuffed as ticks when we got out of there.

Barb, wishing you all the luck in the world. Let's hope they were benign calcifications, not the bad kind.

Barb I to think you should wait till you have something to tell them .better then having no answers..

Day.thinking of you too hoping all goes well!

Sending lots of prayer and hugs to you both.

Leanna- Thanks!  It's a weird anniversary to celebrate, but I admit I did toast it.  What a difference a year makes!

Barb, I was hoping they were calling you back for some inoccuous reason, so I was flabbergasted at reading your posts! That really sucks! I'm sending all my love, best thoughts and prayers your way, there's been too much of everything for us lately, so I'm praying, praying, praying for a benign result! As for your kids, I won't be of any help either, being childless, but I know I would always feel it when my Mum wasn't going well, so you might want to share your worries with them... but you know them and I don't...

Day Your lunch after your MRI sounds just great - you can start eating healthy later :-). I'm finding out I enjoy eating more than anytime before, but what the heck, I'd rather be fat and happy than thin and frustrated! Praying for a good result for you too!

Denise Thanks for the compliment, as I said in my previous post, I was having the time of my life during that event, so that probably shows in the pics :-).

Leanna I keep voting for you, hope you win :-).

I went wigless yesterday for the first time and got plenty of compliments from my colleagues. But most of all I felt so liberated! Going to dump that thing from now on!

Hugs to all of you!

Ive been renting old movies off netflix and watching them alone before bedtime.  Watched another Katharine Hepburn movie.  Its so relaxing.  Her enthusiastic energy rubs off on me and its fun to sort of live in a time gone by.  There are no worries.  Its so refreshing. 

I made a family tree photo book for Gage on Shutterfly and got it yesterday.  It is so cool.  If I had the time and money, I could make a million of them.

Enjoyed filet mignon and homemade chokecherry wine next door (at the in-laws) for supper tonight. 

I can't say enough how having these new bras and forms feels.  I could kick myself for not going in sooner.  I feel so much better about how I look.  And I'm seeing some weight loss results from the diet and exercise.  I bought some expensive organic shampoo and conditioner to treat myself. 

Still thinking about you, Barb.  Hope your tests came back.  Alittle worried since no word. (Fingers crossed, prayers prayed)

Hi everyone:  Had my biopsy on Thursday.  They saw 4 calcifications but doc didn't seem too concerned.  I am suppose to get my resutls tomorrow at my 3:00 appointment.  This has been a very long weekend, but I am filling the time by going to sporting events with my kids.  I will let everyone know tomorrow what I find out.

GG: Congrats on one year! 

Barb

Welcome back Tess!!! We missed you.



Denise- I haven't posted the pics on my page but I'm glad you saw Emma's. It was a perfect get-away for recovering from ooph and another BC break. We did tons of walking, which felt so good.



Paxton- it's great that you have found something YOU enjoy and find refreshing. It's so important for healing. And congrats on the weight loss. I love hearing what people do who have success....keep sharing ...



Leanna- will vote for you today...hope you win, girl!

Hi Ladies -  I have been keeping up on reading all the posts via my cell phone but for some reason I can't post from it.  I just had a long post to everyone and my computer shut off before I could send it- lost it all.  I think it needs a new battery.  I am now just going post to the recent activity.

Day and Barb - My thoughts and prayers are with you both.  Keep as positive as you can.  Barb, I would wait to tell the kids until you know something more concrete, you know if you tell them now, they will have questions and the will fill in all the blanks with their imagination if you don't have all the answers.  This disease just sucks... what it doesn't do to your body, it will do to our minds with all the worry and anxiety we have to go through every day.  

Leanna - I will vote for you too!

Madga - Congrats on going wigless!  I went back to work wigless after the beginnning of the year.. feels great doesn't it?

Golfer Girl - Congrats on your anniversay!

I am back to work on a very busy international project, probably working too many hours but I love the excitement.   The good thing about this project is that I can work my hours around the kids activities because I have a lot of night time calls.  So for the kids it is good.   We are super busy right now with everyone's schedule, we were in Rhode Island last weekend for my daughter's cheering, and she practices 3 -4 times a week.  My son is busy in basketball and boy scouts and they both are skiing with their schools on Thursdays.   I even went on the slopes with them this past week.  It felt awesome to be back to doing physical activity and was very blessed I made it through the night with no injuries!  I go to my oncologist on the 1st for my 4 month checkup, it is weird..she only does blood work and a physical, no other scans or anything.  That makes me a little nervous, are the rest of you getting scans?  I am having my reconstruction touch up surgery in March, I am looking forward to that, for those that remember, I had an allergic reaction to the sutures in my stomach where I had the TRAM surgery.  the scar is very wide and bumpy and they think there are still pieces of sutures in there so they are going to go in and clean it out.  They are also going to fix my arm where my node surgery was and put fat injections in there because my PS said that there is new studies that fat injections help reverse the effects of radiation.  My arm is very tight now that rads are done so anything that he can do to help would be great.

Sorry about the long post... I am thinking of all of you daily, you are in my prayers!

Laura

Oh, meant to respond about scans... no, my doctor does not do scans... heck, she doesn't even do tumor markers!