re-excision scheduled for Tuesday & I'm freaking out a little

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gymnut
gymnut Member Posts: 37
edited June 2014 in DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)

Hi all,

I've posted a few times elsewhere so some of this may be repetitive.  The short version is that I had 1 small cluster of microcalcifications show up on routine mammo, then had repeat mammo.  That was followed by an excisional biopsy in early December as a result of which they found & I was diagnosed w/ DCIS. Initially I wasn't sure what to do, met w/ docs, did some research, then made a decision based on what felt/feels like the right choice for me now.  

What I "know" from path report is that there was one very small area of DCIS & that apparently when bs did excisional biopsy, she actually got all of the cancer (although I guess technically that was not actually the plan since it was technically only a biopsy & they dk there was cancer till path report 1 week later.)  Now bs needs to go back in on Tues. (this week, Jan. 25, in 2 days which is why I'm freaking out a bit!) but only to take very little tissue. Although she got all of the cancer during biopsy, one of the margins was not wide enough, only .5 mm instead of 2.0 mm.  I've had a MRI, which was clean & showed nothing after the excisional biopsy (the original calc's showed on mammo) & met with the bs again.  She fully expects to go in & find nothing additional but just get the clean margin.  Then she just anticipates calling me in a week with the results of a clean path report.(OMG, I can't believe I just thought of a question I didn't ask & will need to call the office about tomorrow!  When she did the 1st procedure, there was a needle marking the location.  This may sound stupid but how the hell are they going to know where to go now?)

As I'm writing this, I'm wondering if maybe I shouldn't have posted this on here, because I know many of you have had really bad experiences, situations where there seemed to be nothing & that wasn't the case, etc.  I decided that re-excision & radiation made the most sense for me, though I stiull have loads of q's about the latter which I'll continue to address.  I felt & feel very strongly though that I want to keep the breast right now as long as that's an option for me. 

As long as what has presented is what's the case, this definitely feels right & I felt really relieved right after making the decision.  In the week since, though, I've really started to freak out & have a bit of a mini melt-down.  I think it's mostly that that decision, the scheduling so soon etc. really set things in motion and made everything more real & concrete & hence, more scary.  Still, it's been a bit tough this week & I've been mostly trying to breathe & not freak out & think positive.  I'm really hoping that she doesn't find anything else & that's probably where I need to keep my head & my focus & my thoughts. Maybe I don't want to consider the possibility that she might find something else; since she has no reason to think so then why should I?  But having read so many posts from women whose cancer apparently didn't show up on mammos or mri's.....it's a bit scary I guess.

I know we all have our own experiences, that every single woman is different, every case of DCIS is different & we all need to make our own choices.  Maybe I just needed to vent a bit to some who might understand better than anyone should have to, & maybe I was also hoping for some words of encouragement, support etc. at the same time.

Thanks for listening.  I'd welcome all the healing, supportive & encouraging words & thoughts you could muster.  I'm sure we could all use that at least now & then.

Take care. 

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  • sushanna1
    sushanna1 Member Posts: 764
    edited January 2011

    gymnut,

    Hang in there.  All biopsies and reexcisions are traumatic.  You cannot help but worry.  However, reassure yourself by focusing on the fact that the odds are really good that once the doctor gets a wider margin, you will be fine.  Also, take solace in the fact that you had a clean MRI.  

    Regarding your question "how will the bs know where to go?", I am not a doctor, but presumably she "oriented" the previous specimen (i.e. marked the edges in a particular way).  Perhaps someone with more medical expertise than I will have a better explanation.  

    Sending positive thoughts your way.  

    Sue 

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  • dsj
    dsj Member Posts: 277
    edited January 2011

    It sounds like you have a very careful surgeon.  The margin stuff is very tricky. It doesn't seem like she's expecting to find any more cancer; she got clean margins the first time.  But she wants to make completely sure before you start radiation.  Hang in there.  dsj

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  • SJW1
    SJW1 Member Posts: 244
    edited January 2011

    gymnut,

    It is possible that DCIS not show up on a mammogram because some DCIS does not have calcifications. That is why they did the MRI after your excisional biopsy. The false negative rate on an MRI is far better than a mammogram, so it will usually even find DCIS that the mammogram didn't show.



    Since your MRI was clean, what your surgeon will probably do is enlarge the surgical cavity a little all the way around. It sounds like you have a very good chance of getting good margins this time.



    You might even be able to omit radiation if your score on the Van Nuys Prognostic Index is low enough and you feel comfortable doing that.



    For more info about this, please check out my website at :



    https://sites.google.com/site/dciswithoutrads/home



    or feel free to send me a PM



    Best wishes with your surgery.



    Hugs,

    Sandie



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  • momto4ct
    momto4ct Member Posts: 6
    edited January 2011

    gymnut,

    She will know where to go and will probably go in at the same scar. I agree with swaters that she will go around the original surgical cavity.  I have had a number of re-excisions and the BS uses the scar and the surgical area from the previous surgeries as her road map. It is good that she wants to make sure to have the best margins.

    Good luck and try not to worry...although I see you are scheduled to day. Hope all goes well.

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  • koshka1
    koshka1 Member Posts: 678
    edited January 2011

    Hi, I had a re-excision as well...after that re-excision my margins were fine.

    My surgeon said that a re-excision is very normal and often required with a lumpectomy where there is dcis.

    My surgeon also called the pathologist to look at my slides again...and to give her more of a direction as to where the reamining cancer was.  He inturn sent her a very detailed report on the first surgery I had.

    Maybe you can ask your surgeon for the same!

    Hugs and be strong!!! 

    Also...the second surgery was much less painful than the first!!

    Kosh

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  • gymnut
    gymnut Member Posts: 37
    edited January 2011

    thanks everyone,

    surgery seems to have gone fine.  i'm trying not to worry or freak out.  need to wait till next week for the results/path report so all i can do really is hope for the best & try to be strong & not obsess about it.  i'm telling myself, when i can, that the cancer is all gone & not coming back & that the bs got clean margins & then i'll just have to go on from there.  one step at a time as they say.  it's hard not to worry sometimes though.

    take care all.  i'm trying to get more info on radiation & diferent types but wish they could more clearly id which patients would be "ok" w/o it. they say they really don't have the tools to do that at this point though.

    thanks again.

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  • rianne2580
    rianne2580 Member Posts: 191
    edited January 2011

    Dear gymnut,

    I loved reading your post, it is so human. I think it is important to set aside the staging, the survival and recurrance percentages, the margins, the specialists, the radiology tests...on and on. I just listened to a woman on NPR who had stage 4 BC for 18 years. She has no idea why she is still living. She has treatment but said the cancer, for the most part is not traveling. 

     We have to vent and get it out the way it affects us. I am still in denial. I am still thinking I'm going to walk away from surgery, radiation and chemo (if it turns out I need that). It's like a little fantasy I have that I simply do not need all this frickin treatment. It's funny, I'm 53 and I keep thinking of my childhood when school was out for the summer. No worries, just freedom for a whole summer. I guess that little girl in me keeps wanting to come out again.

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  • gymnut
    gymnut Member Posts: 37
    edited February 2011

    hi riane (& everyone)

     thanks to you& everyone else who posted supportive words here.

    i really liked & appreciate what you said & i can also relate to what you said about the little girl inside of you.  i think we all have that, or at least those of us that are able to make that connection.  i certainly hope never to lose that part of myself & i think it is the child in me that enables me to be the highly sensitive, creative, compassionate and deeply empathetic (to name a few) person that i am.  however, in my case (as w/ a lot of people) there may be times when i need to listen to the more "adult" side & really don't want to & find myself wanting to pout, sulk & stomp my feet. (okay i'm being a little melodramatic .... but only a little.)

    anyway, i do feel for you & we all have difficult choices to make which no one else can really make for us.  i am very happy to say that the re-excision went really well, the results were benign & no more cancer was found so i don't need anymore surgery!  now i just need to figure make sure i have all the info. i feel i need to be comfortable w/ my next decision re: this.

    i wish you (& anyone else going through this) luck & peace of mind & support & hope that you each are able to make decisions which feel right to/for you.

    thanks & take care.

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