May 2010 Chemo
Comments
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Quick update on my ooph - pathology came back clean. Dr scraped the sides of my uterus where the fallopian tubes go in. It was done on Fri and my stomach is still distended and is achy when I'm up and around. If anyone is scheduled for one, stock up on stool softeners - just saying. I was hit with an onslaught of emotional sh*t yesterday - which my dr. just called me back saying it was due to "an abrupt cessation of estrogen". Usually it happens gradually, unless you've gone under the knife. Limit stress, anything making you anxious, chill, etc. WTF! Not a happy camper today. My daughter Emma, my sister and I are all going to Puerta Vallarta, Mexico on Fri for a week. Her treat - so so nice! Hopefully I'll get more excited as the week goes on. We plan on relaxing and chilling the whole time there. Sorry to be such a debbie downer today, I'm trying to work through it. I am SO DONE with BC!!!!!
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Daiva- Yay clear report! That's great. Hopefully you can now really relax and enjoy Mexico. I am hoping to go to Cancun in March, but work has been crazy busy and I haven't booked it yet. I am seeing a naturopath at my cancer center. She has me taking Black Cohosh to help with the disrupted estrogen. She says its ok even though I am estrogen receptor positive, and my onc agreed. I have to say, it works! I was moody before I started taking it and now, not so much (ok, sometimes, but better!). I had to stop taking it for a few days because I had the flu and I noticed an improvement once I started it again. You should ask your doc about it. In any case, have a great trip! Beth
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Thanks Beth...I will ask about it. For now, chin up, shoulders back, face on. Hugs to all of you!
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Daiva - Big (((((HUG)))))!! YAY for a clear report! Mexico is going to be awesome!! It sucks... all of this; so true.
Hey GG!!
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Hello ladies, checking in.
Daiva, wonderful news! I'm so happy for you!
I am still struggling with the bronchitis the flu got me saddled with. I'm on the second round of Z-pack. I went and saw the oncologist Monday. He said that he cannot feel anything wrong, my tumor markers were ok too. He ordered an MRI for my lower back (not sure if I mentioned, but I have really bad pains in my lower back whenever I stand up for more than 5 minutes). He thinks I have an inflammation of the sacro-iliac joint but wants an MRI to be sure so he can see what treatment I need. I'll go see him again in 6 weeks. Which kind of sucks, I was already on a every-three-months schedule.
So for now I'm still pretty tired from all this coughing. He also said not to worry, it doesnt' feel like I've broken a rib and the X-ray I had at the ER didn't show anything of the sort, he said I just pulled some muscles on the sides of my chest. I'm still coughing some and wheezing when I lay down. I think I might need a third round of antibiotics - this bronchitis is really nasty. Guess my immune system is not all the way back up from the chemo.
Big hugs to all
Day -
Pulled muscle on side of chest = standing funny, crooked = back pain. No MRI needed
. Sending positive vibes your way!! I hung on to a cold for so long when I first got sick after all of this (my son gave it to me his first week back at daycare)... I thought I had gotten 2 colds back to back... took me about twice as long to recover compared to my peers (who did not go through chemo!). I hope you feel better very soon!!!! (HUGS) -
Hey Leanna, Great essay! I voted for you, too, both yesterday and today. Good Luck!
Day, hope you are feeling better soon. I had the flu a few weeks ago and it really knocked me out, too. Much worse than anything I usually get; and I had a flu shot! Go figure! I think our immune systems are still recovering but I hope you feel better soon and its just a pulled muscle from coughing.
I have my first mammogram since being diagnosed next Monday. I'm oddly nervous, though I am sure everything is ok. Denise and Leanna, like you, I don't think I was diagnosed as soon as I could have been, either. About 18 months before I found the lump myself, I had a mammogram that mentioned a shadow where the tumor ended up being. I can't remember the exact words, but there was a mention of something where the tumor turned out to be. I didn't see that report until after I was diagnosed and asked for copies of all my mammograms to take to a second opinion. Interestingly, that same mammo with the shadow mentioned, mentioned 2 other suspicious areas. I had biopsies on those areas (negative), but they completely missed where I actually had a tumor, even with the shadow wording. Not sure why the doc only biopsied 2 out 3 in that case. Also, I had a mammo 4 months before I found the lump myself. Got an all clear report on that one! Oh well, all I can do now is tell my friends, get your mammos and get the actual report, not just the letter saying all clear. And feel yourselves up! I've learned the hard way you really have to be on top of things yourself.
(((HUGS))) to all!
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Oh, Leanna, no, the lower back pain is since about a month before the holidays, not related to the coughing - I just put it off because you know how hard it is to get hold of anything during the holidays - then right after the new year I got the flu.
With the bronchitis - I think that's the explanation too, girls, that our immune systems didnt' kick back in full gear yet after the chemo - that's why it takes us so long to recover now. -
Beth ...When I was diagnosed I couldn't even feel the it..my Doc didn't feel it either ..when the results came back he was Where? Wow I don't feel any thing..I am telling people don't be relieved until you know for sure there is nothing . if any thing is suspicious get the report and go over it with someone.
Day... I hope your feeling better soon..My DH gets Bronchitits every time he get a cold..its so bad...
I am so scared to go back to work just for all the reasons you all are talking about. I don't want to get sick! I don't want to feel icky any more! Lucky I will mostly be working from home. at least at the beginning. Next week we have meeting I'm going to those. but I'm being very strange about going back..its been so long..
My nails are all braking at the last of the white lines. Some of them are so short. Looks like I bite them.and I noticed today that my toe nails are getting back to normal..at least the 9 big toes still have the black growing out.
Tomorrow night we are going to a jazz concert and then to a backstage dinner, Christmas present from our daughter. Should be fun! but I am going back and forth about whether or not to wear Brandy....Guess it will be a last minute decision..
Leanna... I too have voted a couple of times ...and Daiva sitting in the sun on the beach in Mexico great way to relieve stress...
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Leanna: AWESOME -- I voted today! Hadn't been on for a while I need to catch up! HUGS!
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Ok, got my MRI scheduled for the 25th of January. I hope it's just a joint inflammation as the onc said. It's that spot on the lower back that is killing me, but also an area around the right shoulder blade that is clearly muscle - I had it from the beginning after the reconstruction, the dr.s say it's just muscle pulling. I was hoping it would get better but it's getting worse.
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Boo, day! I hope you start feeling better. Denise - I wouldn't worry about the germs from work... I've gone to work back at the hospital, and my floor specializes in respiratory problems, so I have been around flu and pneumonia germs and am doing fine! Kim - thanks for voting!! GG - yes, I think it's odd that there was any mention of the exact spot where my tumor was to be in my old mammo... would have been nice to know (and not just the letter I got saying you are good to go)... perhaps they should give ladies copies of their mammos or at the very least have your gyn go over the results... because apparently areas that are not suspicious can, in fact, turn out to be something... so anything over than all clear, is concerning, IMO!!!
Here's the link again, if anyone needs it!! Remember you can vote once per 24 hours per email address!! Thanks, ladies!!
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Go Leanna! I'm voting from Puerta Vallarta as I sit on a chaise on the outdoor balcony/room on the side of the mountain overlooking the water. So nice!!!
Denise-I didn't bring Fiona with me. My vote is that you are looking great and I'd leave Brandy at home for this one (unless you'll be too self conscious). Flash that great smile and keep your chin up.
Day- sending healing vibes your way! These bodies have worked hard for us this past year and are worn down.
Wanted to tell you guys that I read "Skinny Bitch" on the plane ...easy quick informative and fuN! It's not about being a bitch but rather taking control of what we're eating and about attitudes. It was what I needed. I sure appreciated the laughs I got from it. It will make you think about what you put in your mouth and why. I celebrated my 49th birthday on thurs and I tell you what... I want someone to say "look at that skinny bitch!" on my 50th!!!! Need to lose 30-40 lbs and want to keep a youthful attitude. My body is feeling a decade older than this time last year.
I'm glad it's so hilly here...time to get this sorry ass moving again...at least before my diep (march). There are some things we CAN control and others we can't. I don't want this to permanently dent the quAlity of my life. Hugs to each of you!!! Btw, anyone else starting Femara soon? I have an onc appt when I return. Adios amigas -
Hello ladies,
so sorry I was MIA for a while, but I have been busy with the start of the International Year of Chemistry. We kick-started it last week with a press conference and a networking breakfast Woment Sharing a Chemical Moment in Time, which was in fact a panel debate of five notable women scientists that I hosted. A colleague of mine made some awesome photos, so check them out if you want (I wear a black jacket and a black flower-printed scarf): http://hroch486.icpf.cas.cz/rokchemie/snidane/ . We had some modest media coverage as well, mostly radios, but more importantly, both panellists and the public told me that they were enjoying themselves a lot, which was the best reward for me. This event was exactly what I needed to get me back on track, I had a lot of fun, even though it was hard work to prepare it.
Leanna voted for you a couple of times and will again - I hope you win :-)!
Daiva Enjoy your holiday, I crave sun and warmth! And I hear you on our physical shape - the other day I was on the subway and the escalator was out of order. It was one of the deepest subway stations in Prague and I felt like I was going to die when I got to the top... Time to get moving!
Day I hope you'll be feeling better soon. Praying that your MRI shows just inflammation! Most importantly, that the pain goes away as soon as possible!
Drim Good luck with your appt rennovation - this is the time to start everything afresh isn't it? I am thinking of moving house altogether!
Beth Black cohosh for hot flushes sounds great, but I was unable to find it here :-(. So I guess I'll try homeopathy instead, hope it works. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you for the mammogram, funny how we stopped trusting our bodies. Wesley/Linda sent me a link to a very interesting article on this: http://www.cancercounselling.org.uk/northsouth/extra4.nsf/WebResClient/1761049276601BD68025735B00604834/$FILE/article3.pdf?openElement.
Denise Don't be too afraid to go back to work, just do it. It has done me tons of good, and if I catch a cold, so be it! My toenails are growing back too and I keep my fingernails as short as possible, they were breaking in exactly same way as yours, but they're getting stronger. Try biotine, it's great for them! I hope you enjoyed your concert and left Brandy at home - I still don't go out wigless, but plan to do it soon (I just don't want people that don't know about my dx ask what happened to my hair as yet).
As for being misdiagnosed, this is incredible, how many of you could have avoided this... OK, maybe we should try telling ourselves that hope is not thinking that things will turn out the best they can, hope is being convinced that everything that happens to us happens for a reason...
I asked my onc about feeling down for some time after starting tamox. I said it felt weird - I was expecting to be happy about the worst part of the treatment behind me, and guess what she replied: "It's not logical, it's hormonal." LOL! We just don't need to tell guys about that, otherwise they'll see it as a confirmation of what they already think about us.
Sorry for such a long post and a big hug to everyone!
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Magda - you inspire me!!!! Thank you! Btw, your pictures are great...you're beautiful!!!!! Those darn hormones...they sure can do a number! And yes, we wont share it with the guys:-). My nails never fell off but they sure are weak and splitting, etc too. Also, I think of you often when I go to reiki because the woman who does it is Romanian and is or was a chemist. I am crazy about her. She makes me think of our Hungarian sister, Day, as well.
Denise - did you wear Brandy? I'm SO not looking forward to returning to work and am not sure I have the stamina.
Leanna - running? You go girl!!! -
Beth - will look into black cohosh...thanks. Will say an extra prayer for you re: mammo. I won't ever miss having one again-one of the perks of having bilat mx.
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OK I went with out Brandy! But I wore my boobs and my back was killing me by the time we got home... I think they are to heavy for me. I am getting so used to not having any thing in front that they get in the way too lol My armpits hurt to day too... I just don't know about them the gals at the boob store tell me I have to get used to them but they are uncomfortable. Of course when I bought them only wearing them for a few minutes in the store was so different from wearing them now..I might just go look for a lighter pair..
Daiva..I hear you on the weight loss I am so big.. I don't have to be tiny but a lot less the I am now .. I have started doing more exercise along with my walking..but dang it food is tasting so good! I need to stop eating as much ..and my balance is way off..I got on the WI the other day to do the balance tests just for fun..I didn't read the instructions correctly and it told me ..you age is 76 lol..I was mortified but then realized what I did..it is at 52 now..but I have issues with the left side..Gee I wonder why!..
For those of you that saw the pic of my daughter being proposed to ..(on face book) the guy that took it is sending me the original so I can fix it .There was a bald guy in the pic, so I was showing my daughter that he can be removed..she wanted to use it for something,.the bald guy was right where the ring is, so not good!..I love that pic.. she looks so surprised!
OK back to cutting the roses back..its taking along time because my arms get tired..but just the climbing one left ..woo whoo!
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Hi May Warriors!! Sorry I haven't been around for awhile. Took a little break over the holidays and then when the kids went back to school it has been exams time.
Patricia: congrats on the benign results. Love that word
Day: I love your short hair. My hair has come back really curly. I love short hair and the curls. It is so easy to taje care of.
Denise: Congrats on your daughters engagment.
Paxton: I loved the Christmas card. So cute
njbhwgirl: Congrats on no mets!! I now how relived you most be.
Leanna: When in JUne are you coming to PA? I live an hour away from there and we go to Hershey ever year in June. I would love to try to hook up with you even if it's just to say hi.
I would love to get together with everyone in May. I am going to mark the date on my calendar to save the date. Well I went for my first mammogram since my diagnoses. They did a normal mammogram on both breast then a diagnostic on the left only. Around 5 o'clock last night I got a call from the BS nurse(she's not suppose to be calling me, the doctor is, because of all the misinformation she gave me last year) I have to go back for a diagnostic on the right breast now. They saw what they think is calcifications. That is exactly what they saw a year ago on the left. I had an MRI in Aug. and they said everythign was clear on the right, so now I am really worried. When I asked to talk to the doctor I asked him if it looked like the same thing as the left and he said, "it could be" They are going to call me on Monday to let me know when my appointment is going to be. I said I want the first available. I am scared out of my mind. I really don't know if I can go through this again or put my husband and kids through this. I really thought 2011 was going to be a new beginning. The weirdest thing happened the day before my mammogram. My obgyn office called me to reschedule my yearly that was scheduled for this Thursday. That is exactly what happened last year before my mammogram. I feel like I am in a dream Like the movie Groundhog Day. I am trying to stay positive and not worry about somethign I have no control over but it just SUCKS!!! Sorry for venting like this but I know you guys understand. My DH just keep saying don't worry everything will be fine. Thanks for listening.
Barb
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Been busy. I finally went and got a foob fitting and got some bras and a pair of foobs. Can't tell u how good it feels. i've been wearing the same 2 post surgical camisoles with stuffing puffs. Now I bought a pair of those clear swimming foobs, 3 bras and a new camisole. I also found a swimming suit. I've never had that good of luck finding stuff right away.
Also bought Crazy, Sexy, Diet. I'm trying to integrate what I'm reading. Its hard when you live on a farm surrounded by people who eat the standard american diet. But I'm doing my best.
Continued well wishes ladies....:)
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BARB- my eyes welled up when I read your post. I'm sending you big hugs and saying extra prayers for you!!!! Please vent all you want. We are hear for you, sister! The mind is a powerful thing...don't get ahead of yourself (easy to say, right?). I will be praying for your DH as well...I know what mine has been through. Positive vibes, prayers, love and hugs all coming your way. -Daiva
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Does anyone have any advice for REALLY DRY HANDS? Finished chemo Dec. 28th, and my hands are so dry. More the tips of the fingers, along with a couple having cuts. TIried the olive oil, and vaseline with socks, didn't work. HELP!
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Daiva - That sounds awesome... hope you are having a great time and just relaxing!!
Kim - good to hear from you!!
Denise - Give them some time... I'm sure there is some adjustment there and you will get use to it better. I just dislike that every adjustment like that (lack of ROM, etc.) takes our minds back to the reason why, you know?
Barb - I think we are going around the 19th of June... I think that's the day our with Thomas, and then probably going to Hershey on Monday or Tuesday. I would love to see you when we are there!! We were going to stay in PA all week, but I think we've decided to head down to DC for a few days and take the boys around our Capitol and to the History Museum to see the dinosaurs! That really stinks about your mammo. I know you wanted nothing more than an all clear, and to get anything else just stinks! With your recent MRI and diligence with SBE, I'm sure it's going to be fine!! I will be praying for you.
Paxton - Keep up the good work!! You are doing so good!
My nails are breaking, also, like some others have mentioned.... just got to the point where chemo weakened them growing out, and then they break right at the tip. Ugh. So, I was watching TV last night... getting ready to put in another movie (we watched Inception and everyone else went to bed) and I was going to watch The Exorcism... and I flipped to a channel showing animal hoarding... and the woman who hoards was saying how when she was 14 years old, her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and then died 6 months later. I just went, ugh... can't watch this, so I turned on the movie! Surely, a scary movie will make me feel better, right? So, in the movie when they got to the families house where they were going to do the exorcism... the father was talking about his wife... who was, yeah, you guessed it, diagnosed with BC and died 18 months later. Shit. Does it seem like fiction or non-fiction, whenever someone's mom has passed on TV... it's always BC??? Or is it just me?
So, I did finally go for a run today... and I think my lungs were more tired than my legs, but I haven't done it in a while, so nothing unexpected! It'll get easier.
(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))... you are all in my prayers!!!
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Errr.... I'm of Romanian origin not Hungarian. Those two countries are VERY different, language, society, everything.
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Hi girls!
Daiva I had the time of my life on Tuesday and the photographer who took the pics is a genius, because it shows :-). I don't think I look nearly as good in life as on the photos, so now I'll really have to make sure everything about me is better than perfect LOL! Reiki sounds like a great idea, I might try and find out about it in my neighbourhood.
Denise Glad you enjoyed the concert in spite of the discomfort! I didn't realize there was someone aberrant in your daughter's pic though - the pair took all my attention, so don't worry about the baldie ;-).
Barb I just can't imagine what you're going through! I pray it's just overkill care and they tell you it's benign!!!
Paxton YAY for feeling good :-)!
sharalou In my experience, Lipobase cream is best for chapped hands - helped me at least.
Leanna I hear you on how you felt on watching those movies. I incidentally started watching a movie with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman in which they find themselves in hospital, because they both have cancer. I just couldn't stand watching Nicholson with his IV in and sick...
Day Never mind about Daiva's mistake, hey, we're in Europe after all ;-).
Big hug to all of you!
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Hi Ladies. I finally got off my a** and joined a gym (got a free month certificate just after my DX last Feb and haven't done anything about it until this week). So I have worked out 5 times since joining on Wednesday. This morning is did an hour yoga class and then an hour belly dancing class. Then after I was done I weighed myself and I had gained 2 1/2 pounds since Wednesday!!! Stupid, defective scale.
Day -- good luck on Tuesday. We are all pulling for some simple explanation.
Barb -- I just can't imagine that you will have to go through this all over again. You haven't even really finished going through it the first time, with hormones and all. PLEASE keep us posted. I am sending you good, healing vibes.
sharalou -- I had really good luck with Emu Oil. I used it for my rads and even rubbed it on my head an my hair grew back so thick. I have tried grapeseed oil for dry hands, but I think Emu oil absorbs better.
Leanna, would you do me a favor? Please have a margarita on the rocks, no salt, for me. Make a toast to the sunset and all things beautiful in this world -- including YOU.
Beth -- funny thing about the Black Cohosh -- my onc. pharmacist told me NOT to use it because I am ER+. I wish everyone would just agree on something!
Cheers all,
Jen
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Denise - I just sent you a friend req... apparently, I never found you before!! I went to look at your picture...
Jen - LOL.... I know, I'm so sensitive!! DH and I have a date Saturday night with about 3 other couples... I think heavy drinking is in order... DH will DD for me; should be fun! And, I heard the same thing about Black Cohosh.... no, no! I think most of those supplements that take away the SE do so because they are natural hormone replacments and a no, no. (was that a 'duh' statement??). Oh, and great job at the gym! So, are you feeling better... more energy?
Magda - I think the people in the UK would be upset if you said they were from Europe!!
I have another echo tomorrow... and that's about it!!
((HUGS))!!
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Day...oops, I knew you were Romanian and I know they are very different. Sorry 'bout that! Being Lithuanian myself, I react when people say my family is from Russia....um, no.
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Barb: I didn't catch your post right away. Ohhh, I sure hope it turns out to be nothing. I'll be praying for you. Keep us posted when u can.
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paxton.......... ohhhhhh that is soooo cute!
Redbarb ....Praying that they are being overly cautions with you .....
Majda . I think you are just so cute too ..you cant fake that in a picture..
and Daiva... Make that a two margarita toast!
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Oh yea ..Is any one elses balance off..I was trying to do some yoga and I am so off balance on my left side..I need a chair to balance on that side..
And went to the Doc about Physical Therapy ..I just cant figure out what is too much exercise, with my arms..sometimes I feel like such an old lady...either I do too much and it hurts my chest muscles for days ...but while I'm doing it it doesn't feel like I'm doing anything..
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