Fellow "deletees"
Comments
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I ran my logon ID through google and nothing came up! Yay!
Bren
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Hello All who are not pleased with our service.
We cannot make changes overnight, so we ask for patience. If you are not pleased with the boards, or the way we we handle the situations, we suggest that you leave. We are doing our best, and are extremely open to your suggestions, as well as your complaints.
We do not attack you, and ask that you please do the same in return. If we work together, things can go much faster, and with a team-spirit. The antagonizing is very counter-productive. We have always taken your opinions to heart, and learn much as we grow.
Thank you to those who continue to support us and provide constructive suggestions. To you we are very appreciative.
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Moderators! You gals have a never-ending job! Thank YOU for your input....and it WOULD be nice to post on a thread where most of us could get along.....
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Amen, Chevyboy!
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Thank you, Moderators, for saying what no one else will.
It is just so easy to attack people we don't agree with or who don't do things they way we want them to. It's not a perfect world here. I agree. If you don't like it, you can ignore it, or pack up your toys and start your own game in your own sandbox.
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Wow .. I'm stunned. In all my years on this board, I have never seen a message like that one from the moderator. I'm not sure that message is in keeping with Dr. Weiss' vision for this site.
But .. whatever .. like Madalyn said, it might be time to move on.
Bren
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I agree with you Brenda .. but apparently we can't expect everyone to take personal responsibility for what they write or what they report. If we could expect that too happen, we wouldn't have the same problems we've been having on this site since 2007.
I've always been very grateful to the moderator(s) on this site. It is a huge undertaking .. but I'm quite taken aback by the most recent comment.
Bren
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I'm guess I'm a little slow, but I certainly am not taken aback by what the mod posted. For Pete's sake! Grow up! As far as the political threads, when they came down most of us were angry. HOWEVER, I cannot imagine how annoying it gets with so many women whining about that. Back in the day when the political threads got really heated, I had several posts deleted, was restricted, was banned, you name it! Get over it! Go start an "invitation" only website where you can post without ANYONE seeing it. You can gripe, you can cuss, you can be silly and call the rest of us idiots..yada yada. Give the mods a break and let them work this out! BTW, I have never gone RUNNING to the mods.
As far as putting your name out there for everyone to see on google...geez, I'm a complete idiot when it comes to computers, but even I KNOW that our names can be googled and we can be found. I need to change my name....very unwise with such dangerous women on this board. <roll eyes> Now, if you have personal stuff you do not want to share, then don't..if you have family, friends or enemies you're worried about...be wise. Geez!
I realize some of you newbies are not familiar with different situations in the past. Just give the mods time to work this out.
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I would like to join in this discussion and say as well that the moderators do have a difficult job. There is a lot here for just a few people to see too. I have much appreciation for them.
That being said.......they are here for a reason and that is why we have a Report This Post button. There is a thing called personal responsibility and as we are all individuals we need moderators ( what a wondrous world if we did not ) to see that all individuals come as close as possible to adhering to their responsibility. We can always leave a place but:
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
Martin Luther King Jr.I do feel that there are situations where if you have responsibility you will not walk away. If someone is being threatened with great harm, you may not be able to do more than call the police, if someone falls in front of you --- would you walk away from this situation. It matters to me that people get hurt, humiliated, or undergo scorn for whatever reason ( could it be sometimes un-fair, I sure think so ) and yes......one should be thinking about the buttons on here, but life is often about dis-agreeing without turning things into something personal. Sometimes that means getting help. It is only when our actions are based on loving feelings --- distrust, dislike, revenge, getting even etc, none of that will work at all, it is only things done in the name of love that will out in the end. Kindness costs nothing and almost always makes you feel good....and the other person too.
So for whatever it is worth to anyone......I do thank the moderators for what they do. I don't think I could be near un-biased enough. I think it is not the kind of position where you do get thanked very much at all. I hope Brenda that you will not feel I am picking on you in any way, but I have come 'upon' so many situations in the very recent last few years where better changes and a more solid footing might have come if enough people would have stepped up and said --- you know, this thing is wrong and should not stand. We can't all walk away because if you do that nothing ever changes.
Hugs, Jackie
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Shirley, I think you're right. I think what us left-leaning and centrist women should do is start a site where we could do all our bit****g on the other site. That is what you do, right? Then WE can call the right-leaning women the opposite of libtards, and we can write pages and pages of how right-wingers have a mental disability, are selfish,and......
It is so easy to say GROW UP when you can pretend to be a reasonable woman here and then go on your super-secret website and rip us left-leaning women to shreds--and call us out by name!!
Yes, I think I will grow up and start a super-secret website too. Then I will tell everyone here to grow up, and keep my childishness on my super-secret website.
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I am sorry, Melissa, that you are clearly upset by some of the comments here.
Remember, though, in public forums directness and actions that can be construed as arbitrary go both ways. Our annoyance, your deletions of entire threads followed by an endless loop of action and counteraction is all part of one set of behaviors, for better and for worse. But we are not just the peons you serve and who can leave; some of us are also donors to BCO. I am sorry, though, that you "caught" some harsh comments.
I personally think it is BCO as an organization that should be taken to task and most certainly not you, who in my experience have done your best to be responsive whenever possible, with not much time or personnel support on your hands.
Shirley, I guess people have different levels of the feistiness with which they are comfortable. You may be more comfortable with more than others. I think I am closer to being like you in this respect. And personal responsibility is a beautiful phrase! In fact, that is why I think threads should not be deleted unless Hitler or Rupert Murdoch (ok, Shirley - don't press the delete this post button here. just kidding, just kidding) start them. Let there be SOME fighting, but if the thread stays, so does the memory. The vitriol is used up and some sense of calm of polite tension takes over.
That is one reason why moderating this board can be so hard.
We have no idea what is going on in BCOs mind as an organization, but maybe now is the time for more thought. In fact, I would be happy to take a survey on this issue if BCO wants to do a quick Survey Monkey. Questions can be:
--How many deletions, if any, would you feel comfortable having before a post shows up as "deleted by the community" (right now it is 5)?
--SHOULD people have the option of reporting a post?
--Should pressing the "report this post" function pave the way for a deletion, or should there just be a complaints box?
--Should the names of post reporters appear when one is deleted because of it?
--Should entire threads be deleted for any reason other than that they break the law in some way?
--Overall, do you as a poster feel BCO is a comfortable place to express your views and be heard?
--And, yes, this question should be asked at least to get the feel of the land: Do you think all comments should be screened before publication?
BCO would be under absolutely no obligation to act on any of these and other answers, but it might, for Melissa and others, provide some clarity as to whether the discontent is just amongst some of us or among a great many of us.
A final question should ask the person whether she posts or merely lurks, and how often she posts, with three or four range answers.
Oops one more. This is an anonymous survey: How many login accounts do you use at one time?
Madalyn, don't leave.
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Most of us have grown up.
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It seems that this has been on ongoing problem for the last several years, and that those who are walking away are doing so because their concerns have not been addressed. They took the responsibility to stay and try to lead change, but have finally reached the conclusion that there are other breast cancer message boards, and other places where their voices and their advocacy will be put to good use. Those here who put so much energy into pressing the report button may get some satisfaction that they have been successful in silencing a breast cancer sister's voice, but it's a pretty hollow victory because you can not silence an idea, a value, or the passion that makes these women such awesome advocates for those in need. These are the spirits that would make Alice Paul so very proud!
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Just my two cents worth: I had visited many sites at the start of my Bc journey and I have to say that this site has been the most welcoming, informative and supportive site that I have come across. I remember being diagnosed as a newbie and how frightening all the doctors information was fro me to understand and digest. I will be forever grateful to all the wonderful women that offered their knowledge, advice and support at a time that was so scary. I soon became well informed about my pathology report, what to expect from surgery, chemo, the latest research news etc. I have seen heartbreaking stories, hopeful stories, funny stories and so much more. Discussions about any topic from health, to sex to politics to world news, to fitness and just about anything you can imagine are right here at our fingertips. We are free to join any topic of interest to us and the only thing that we are required to do is follow the community rules. Jeesh... they don't even charge us a subscription
fee to have the privilege of utilizing so much helpful info.
I don't really know much about deleted posts, inappropriate emails etc but I assume that it
must really be a very few number of pests that are wreaking havoc. I trust that the moderators are doing their utmost best to enforce the community rules and make any necessary changes and
please bear in mind that there are over 50000 members here which is a huge task to monitor.
Being disrespectful to the moderators IMHO is really unnecessary and counter productive. I can sympathize with all that have had issues but constructive suggestions would be more productive and remember that it takes time for things to be resolved. You catch more flies with honey! -
Covertjanou-
I'm guessing you'll be deleted in 3.....2......1 but I totally agree with you.
(and I'll probably be deleted for saying so).
(Another) Mary
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Mary x 2
I also find it both humorous and childish that there are several here who pretend to be so wise and patient with those who are either limited by our DNA or differing philosophical views and then run off to their own corner of the classroom to make fun of them.
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Hi again all,
First, the following is on our Tech's list:
1. person reporting a post will be forced to provide a reason for reporting a post (e.g. this is spam or this violates this Rule of Conduct).
2. make public who has reported the post, and reason why
3. notify the person whose post was reported of the reason, and provide opportunity to edit
4. make profiles visible only to logged-in users.
(Months ago we already deactivated that profiles can be found in any search engine).
5. expand our personal profiles and add an advanced search function to help community members find people who most closely match who and what you're looking for
6. Delete Private messages by checking "all"
Our tech team is currently hiring some new programmers, and our overall list is huge, so this is on the docket for the end of February/beginning of March. Sorry for the delays.
Our sincerest apologies about the survey this weekend. We tried to fix it to no avail. It should now be fine though.
Is there anything that I am leaving out of this list of to-do's?
On another note, and to clarify, the ONLY threads that have ever been fully deleted are the ones where the amount of negativity outweighed and out-numbered the positive ------ that is, more posts broke the rules of conduct than did not. Also, they were all political discussions, not discussions concerning diagnosis, treatment, etc. of breast cancer. Also, these threads were deleted after multiple attempts to stop the breaking of the rules, with no success. I hope that this helps to clarify to the newer folks who weren't around during that time.
I hope that we never feel it necessary to delete an entire thread again. Sometimes it just seems the only way to break the terrible, negative cycle.
Again, we have a lot of members, and do our best to stay true to our mission. Your help, and input is incredibly appreciated!
Warmest regards,
Melissa and Team
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Thanks Melissa ... this is fabulous news!!!!
Bren
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I second Bren.
Jackie
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I am feeling better already, and it's not because of the hot chocolate I had for lunch.
BTW, I think those changes to the "Report this Post" process are exactly what we need, to take the bumps out of that road. I've often wondered, when reporting a post that is clearly SPAM, why I wasn't being asked which of the Rules of Conduct the post violated. Seems like that's the least that could be expected of me, if I'm ratting on someone. And I don't mind at all that I will have my username disclosed once I press that "report" button. Otherwise it's like black-balling someone, and we all know where that can lead.
otter
[Edited for known typos.]
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Otter, I'm with you on this. I'm more than happy to have my name come up on a deleted post. Although if I do hit the 'report this post' button, I always post that I used that function and why.
I'm tickled pink that these changes are coming! Yahoo!
Bren
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Excellent news! I'm sure life will be easier for you, too Melissa.
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I know the reason that a few posts were "reported" (and not on this thread) is because it became too personal! When someone would complain about the salty language, they were accused of being in the "Oral Roberts Crowd," and then were called a b**** and even worse! Then a few more of the "ladies" joined in in defense of the one with the bad mouth!
And we don't need to hear about every little detail in each of our lives! About how bad our Husbands are, or our kids! Geez, I'm older than most of you, and this forum has helped me so much when I first found out I had breast cancer...and I HATED to leave a thread because a few women think they can talk any way they want, & post ridiculous comments about whatever blinks across their mind.
And THIS thread, means I don't know what....Deletees...but it's so nice when you guys say positive things! I first was amazed when I started reading this thread about a month ago...because it seemed like everyone had a "cause".....and most of it had nothing to do with Breast Cancer, but with each other. And no I am not a moderator....I wouldn't take that job on a dare...
I don't think I would be as patient.....Like I said, I'm too old for all the squabbling. -
Chevyboy, we're hoping that with a few more rings to jump through people won't report posts just because they don't agree.
Really, these boards are such a journey. I remember starting them close to 10 years ago, where we would have at most 5 posts/day!
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Thanks Melissa .. these changes are so cool! Can't wait!
Bren
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Just a matter of time and money
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Thank you Melissa for the changes to the report this post. Hopefully, it will derail the "thought police".
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covertanjou wrote:
This Post has been removed by the Community.
I want to assure you that I did not delete this post. I think I read it. I was catching up. Didn't it talk about another website...and so on? If you read my posts on another website, you will find that must of the time I do not use derogatory names. At least I try not. Also, I don't recall calling out anyone's name on the site. Now, I will admit my memory isn't the best. Do I get agitated...you bet'cha. Just like any other person here. Go to the site and read my posts. Most are reasonable.
Also, to have a real secret place, you'll have to have a place where no one can read what you say. It can be done. However, I don't mind you reading whatever you're reading. If it doesn't bother you, it doesn't bother me.
I really wish your post had not been deleted. I'm serious.
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1Athena1 wrote:
And personal responsibility is a beautiful phrase! In fact, that is why I think threads should not be deleted unless Hitler or Rupert Murdoch (ok, Shirley - don't press the delete this post button here. just kidding, just kidding) start them.
I don't delete posts. I don't send ugly PMs. I don't answer ugly PMs (most of the time).
When threads were deleted in the past we, the conservative women, thought we were being treated unfairly. However, as for myself, I didn't raise a raucous with the mods.
KUDDOS to the mods for taking care of this problem. It's sad to see women pulling out of here because of something as silly as not having patience to let the mods fix the problems. I like what they are doing and I just hope the posters will come back.
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Congratulations! Once again, a post is deleted after the mod goes home for the day. Once again, no one fesses up or states which BCO rules were broken.
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