Fellow "deletees"

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  • YramAL
    YramAL Member Posts: 1,651
    edited January 2011

    Honestly, though, I really don't care all that much about it to send a PM to Melissa. I usually just lurk and post very seldom. 

    Mary 

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  • Medigal
    Medigal Member Posts: 1,412
    edited January 2011

    Mary:  You are just a "lurker" and have your limit of posts deleted by community?  I need to read those posts!  You must be more vocal than I am!  I think it would be a waste of time to send a PM to Melissa.  She must be taking a winter vacation in Bora Bora since she seems to be "missing without action" these days.Smile  (Just trying to see what it takes to draw her out these days.)  Seriously, I do hope she is ok and not sick or something. 

    BTW, Mary.  My eyes must be getting old.  I keep thinking your avatar is a teeny doggie laying on your ear!!  Cute any way!

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  • BarbaraA
    BarbaraA Member Posts: 7,378
    edited January 2011

    Awww that just sucks. I am so sorry you have to deal with lunatics. Hugs, pal, and see you in another place.

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited January 2011

    I'm so sorry Rocky.   I'm going to really miss you .. I wish the situation wasn't like this.

    It sucks rotten eggs .. but I can understand how you feel.  I've had friends stalked on here before and it impacted their professional and community life.  Too many folks with too much time on their hands.

    Love you lots,

    Bren

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  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited January 2011

    There is something desperately wrong in moderation when this happens, wildrocky. I hope BCO attempts to at least find out who reported you. They could be liable if something happens. Meanwhile....threads get deleted.

    Erasing something is not the answer. Doing some sleuthing is. The only other option for BCO would be to have dozens of moderators filtering posts before they are posted - the way The New York Times works. I am sure no one would like that for this format.

    ((Konakat)) - Enjoy the Caymans and leave the lepto for later. 

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  • Alpal
    Alpal Member Posts: 1,785
    edited January 2011

    Rocky - you'll be sorely missed, but I understand completely. Miss you already!

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  • rosemary-b
    rosemary-b Member Posts: 2,006
    edited January 2011

    Wow

    It is just so sad that this can happen here. Now my question is Are any of us safe if someone dvelops an irrational grudge against us? Scary.

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  • pip57
    pip57 Member Posts: 12,401
    edited January 2011

    Apparently not.  It happened before and it will happen again.

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  • covertanjou
    covertanjou Member Posts: 569
    edited January 2011

    Rocky,  I am sorry to see you go, but I understand why you are leaving the board.  The board is just not the same anymore, and you are definitely being stalked.

     I will miss your wit and intelligence.

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  • rosemary-b
    rosemary-b Member Posts: 2,006
    edited January 2011

    Boo! Hiss!

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  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited January 2011

    Yep...lots of craizies out there!

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  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited January 2011

    I'm still hoping you will be back - I am hoping many of us will be back. For now, parts of BCO are neither safe nor fair. The silence of deletions does that. Same goes with authoritarian regimes. They've got the law on their side - that doesn't mean they are right or just.

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  • Medigal
    Medigal Member Posts: 1,412
    edited January 2011

     Rocky:  We have already spoken so you know how I feel.  Hang in there.  Nothing lasts forever even this kind of crap.  Sooner or later they will be bored with us and go on to harass another thread.  Until then, I hope we can just resume our posts and pretend they don't exist.

    Take care! 

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  • konakat
    konakat Member Posts: 6,085
    edited January 2011

    This just sickens me.  Way to go deleters, we've just lost a lovely woman on this site. How proud you must be!  How pathetic they are; weak, cowardly people.

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  • flash
    flash Member Posts: 1,685
    edited January 2011

    Sorry to see you not post anymore Rocky.  Maybe come into Chat????  The advantage with Chat is we can bait the nasty and put them on ignore realllllly easily.

    Patmom- how u doin' hun?

    Konokat- Get thee to the sun quickly and enjoy those beaches.

    hugs to all

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  • sunny210
    sunny210 Member Posts: 292
    edited January 2011

    This is just terrible, Rocky. I always enjoy your intelligent posts. I hate to see the bullies win, but it's smart of you to step away rather than put up with a lot of grief. I'll miss you.

    Sandy 

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  • Maya2
    Maya2 Member Posts: 468
    edited January 2011

    So long Rocky. I'm sad to see you go and I barely got to know you.

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  • Medigal
    Medigal Member Posts: 1,412
    edited January 2011
    sunny:  The bullies didn't win.  They now have to live with the knowledge that they are no longer able to hide in their dark corner.  The Light has been shown on them and they are holding the flashlight in their own hands!  The joke is on them!Smile  Have a good evening everyone!
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2011

    They hide in the their dark corner by using the PM button.  This could be resolved by making all communication public!?  As soon as a "newbie" shows up, they PM them and move them over to their little corner of the world.

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  • Medigal
    Medigal Member Posts: 1,412
    edited January 2011

    Double:  The reason for the PM button (I always thought) was so we could discuss with certain posters things they may not want to discuss on this thread.  Like do you really want to know how many pairs of Sears panties I own and how old they really are?Wink  When we get closer to certain members we may want to share things with them that we would rather not make public on this thread.  If you think the stuff I post can be outlandish, you really don't want to hear what I might say in a PM to someone!  I think PMs are fun and like the way they work when they are used for good.  I can see how troublemakers could use them to harass a poster but that is not what the majority of our ladies do, IMO.

    Would you mine explaining to me what you mean by the "newbie" sentence? What do you mean by "their little corner of the world"?  I think I am missing something here.  Is this a good thing you are referring to or a negative thing?    Thanks!

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited January 2011

    Medigal .. I don't get too many PM's .. and have had a couple of bad ones, but mostly it's a great way to stay in touch with close friends.  I got a great PM yesterday about meeting up with one of our friends ... I'm so excited to meet her!  It's so wonderful to meet the gals we talk to everyday and care about.

    I had a gathering of 20 people at my house this past October.  We had 13 gals (and various husbands) who met here on BCO.  They traveled from all over the country for our get together.  It was remarkable and the memories will last a lifetime!

    Hope everyone is having a good day so far!

    Bren

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2011

    The PM function is very useful for sharing information (like phone numbers and addresses) that you  might want to share with friends you've made on these boards, but don't want available to the general public. 

    Don't ever forget that EVERYTHING that you post on these threads is public, and can be found by anyone who googles that topic, or stumbles upon this board.  Only members can post or report posts, but ANYONE can read them. 

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  • Alpal
    Alpal Member Posts: 1,785
    edited January 2011

    And for those of you who doubt what PatMom said - just google your user name and the name of the website. Horrifying - particuarly if you don't want the world to know what you're saying. And, of course, if you just look at the hits - everything is out of context which is doubly bad!

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  • lassie11
    lassie11 Member Posts: 1,500
    edited January 2011

    This time I absolutely agree with PatMom. It is important to be careful about what personal information we put here.

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  • mollyann
    mollyann Member Posts: 472
    edited January 2011

    Okay, this may be a stupid question but why does BCO let our posts go to the Internet? Other groups have the option of allowing this or disallowing this. It would be good to get this feature changed.

    Melissa, please request the webmaster change this function so people cannot google us.

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  • pip57
    pip57 Member Posts: 12,401
    edited January 2011

    I found this site through google.  I think a lot of us did.  We just need to be sure that we don't post any info that we don't want the world to know.  

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2011

    Yes, especially pictures.  They can be right-clicked and copied.

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited January 2011

    Yep .. I've copied pics off different threads before.  You can also tell where the picture came from by right clicking on it.

    My doc recommended this site to me.  It was a godsend when I was going through treatment.  I've met so many wonderful friends in cyberland and also many, many ladies in person.  I recommend this site to new gals all the time.

    Bren

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  • Beesie
    Beesie Member Posts: 12,240
    edited January 2011

    mollyann,

    There are two reasons why BCO allows our posts to go on the internet.  First, as PIP mentioned, that is how a lot of women find this site.  The more content from this site that is goes into a search engine, the more likely it is that BCO will pop up near the top of the list when someone puts in a few key words about breast cancer.  This discussion board provides a lot of content for Google and other search engines to draw upon, and ultimately that increases the use of this board.

    Use of this board is the second reason why BCO allows our posts to go on the internet. BCO is a non-profit; they rely on donations and advertising.  The more members that they have, the more 'hits" that the site gets, the more appealing the site is to many advertisers and to those looking to donate.  So allowing the content of the discussion board to be available for internet searches, which increases the number of "hits" on the board, is no doubt helpful to BCO's fundraising efforts.

    Concerns about our posts being in the public domain and available in internet searches have been raised on a regular basis over the 5 years that I've been on this board (and probably before that too).  A few years ago we made great progress when BCO agreed that the information that we've included in our personal profiles will be exempt from internet searches. Up until then, everything that we included in our personal profiles on our BCO homepages was open to search engines. Personally I think that was truly a violation of privacy and I've glad that BCO made the change. As for the rest, at the time that change was made, BCO stated that they would continue to allow our posts on the discussion board to be available for internet searches and they reminded us all that this is a public website and we always have to be mindful of that.  This is why so many of us use screennames that can't be linked to our private lives, why so many of us don't post our pictures, and why so many of us limit the amount of personal information that we share.  Everyone needs to recognize that anything we post on this site is available to anyone on the internet.  Therefore we each need to decide how much we want to share and to what degree we want to be transparent about who we are.  

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited January 2011

    http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/01/21/pearlman.online.civility/index.html?hpt=T2

    Article about on-line civility.  We forget there is a human being on the other end of the keyboard.

    "It's about consequences, and not suffering from any," says Jacqueline Whitmore, an etiquette expert and founder of etiquetteexpert.com. "There are absolutely no repercussions to writing a nasty comment or e-mail, so people feel they can vent at will. They never think that the person receiving the message might be a real human being."

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