Starting Chemo October 2009

Michele I feel the same way but I like to think of it this way - "who know how long any of us have" or "we ALL hope to see something (insert your something here) one day".

We've got to think of this BC as a wake up call and not a death sentence.  We should enjoy each day and live each day to it's fullest.

Each day we live we are that much closer to our death.  ALL OF US not just BC survivors!

Suz you have the most amazing attitude and I'm so glad that you are posting all about what you are doing.  Not just the BC stuff but the reno stuff too. 

Lol Marie,

Ive always been an off topic person. I just like to chatter. And Im trying not to come off too doom & gloom. Lol, reality bites big kahunas sometimes, so as my sons gf would say "suck it up"... heh heh, she says it to him not me lol.

Two perfect motto's for everyone "Live each day as if it was on purpose" and " Live each day as if it is your last" None of us has a crystal ball, we are all going to expire at some point... Lol getting a stage IV dx just means Im a little closer to knowing what it might be from.

I cant imagine wearing a night guard... I probably should as Im a night grinder, BUT Ive finally kicked the drooling habit... Im gonna let sleeping dogs lie. Yes Marie that sounded like me except I was a zero boobed, bald drooling creature that was soaked in sweat every few hours. Hmmm ... I'm too sexy for my love.....

Have a great evening ladies. Love & Hugs Suz

Hi Alicia! Nice to see you! Hope all is well. Great stuff Suz! We are a death denying society...as pema Chodron puts it  we are all getting on a boat we know is going to sink. You can do whatever you want with that.....either it will paralyze you or it is incredibly liberating. I guess the voyage can still be scary sometimes. I am here looking at 14+ inches of snow in a windy blizzard....georgeous and its a snow day.....no work!

-Suz - thinking about you and hoping things go well for you. Such decisions..so hard to   

    know what is right

-Val - good to see you back,  This snowstorm was something else...two days of digging out!

-hope 2011 is good for all of us

   Jean

Sexy Suz...you are the WOMAN!!

All of you dealing with snow - hope you dig out soon!  Been a bit chilly here, but it doesn't compare!

Well, things have come full circle...my divorce is final today.  I am relieved to have that over.  This whole last year and a half just seem so unreal...I want to get back to reality! 

Big hugs Shelby,

I'm sure that was one huge roller-coaster you were on. I'm sending love & hope that things settle into a good comfort zone for you.

I'm soo happy with the way my new room is turning out. Its becoming a place that I walk into and immediately feel such good vibes & at peace. Everything in here makes me feel so good. I only have one picture on the walls so far & even that makes me feel good. I get to look forward to finding that special something that I would want to add to my little refuge. I was really unsure about the nebulous grey walls along with lots of black, white & grey plus just a touch of red (my furniture & floors are dark wood). But its turned out so beautifully harmonious. It reminds me of a black & white photo that has a bit of color added to it. And Im using things like fabric to give if a very feminine feel.

It will be nice to finish the last room of hardwood (floor) this week, then onto the last of the floors (carpet in the hall & stairs then lino in the kitchen) It feels like Ive been working on this forever, but not to worry... Im planning on having it all finished by spring. Then Im gonna throw one monster kick ass BBQ & party. If anyones in the area you will be more than welcome to come on over for it .

Lol, another off topic ramble, Love ya's all, Hugs Suz

Suz, you should post some pictures...I would bring the nachos...

I will take some pics as soon as I get the floor done in the spare room. Right now stuff is kinda spread out all over as I used that whole room as my closet  Yea Im a bit of a clothes horse...  It started out as just a dresser in there then I ended up with 3 dressers & 2 rolling clothes racks along with all my guitars & grammophone. So for now some of it is in here and the rest is in the dining room...lol. Try that one when you live with 2 guys heh heh.

But yes I will take tons of pics in a week of so.

Jenna you will be more than welcome and Michele nachos are awesome

Hugs Suz

Suz- your room sounds wonderful..I hope it brings you everything you need for the soul.

Val - I am doing fine, I am feeling well, because my bc is triple neg, I don't have to take any meds, I guess for that I am lucky.   I do plan on following Erban to Tufts, how about you?

Juannelle - I know what you mean of not wanting any surprises, I am having the hardest time not thinking about it coming back..it was such a surprise the first time...hate the thought of the rug being pulled out from under me again.... I am fine during the day...the thoughts creep in when all is quiet.

I guess just keep living life to its fullest is all we can truely do!!

Jean

Philippa, every good checkup is cause to breathe a big sigh of relief.  Good luck on Thursday!

Suz, we'll have to plan a virtual party.  Give us a day and a time, and we'll all eat nachos in your honor!  Maybe a margarita too...

Juannelle, it's so great that you get to spend time with your granddaughter!  She sounds absolutely adorable.  Here's to many more years of family time!

I'm supposed to have ann appointment with the gyn onc this week to talk about what surgery to have, but I'm thinking I'm going to reschedule for sometime in March.  There's no big rush, since I still haven't gotten my period back, and I'm wondering if I ever will, considering it's been over a year.  I mean, it wouldn't make sense to remove the ovaries if they're not working anymore, and the last thing I want to do is remove body parts that are not causing a problem.  I still have to have that procedure done for the precancerous cells in my cervix, but again, that's not a rush job.  I would just love to go without any doctor appointments for a while, and just try to live a normal life for a little while. 

With the divorce finalized on Friday, I'm going back to my maiden name.  It's like a fresh start!  I finished that 2 week special K diet last week, and lost about 10 pounds.  I've started an exercise routine - I'm going to sign up for a 5k run sometime in March, so I started adding some short running "bursts" into my morning walk.  I'll get my Master's in May, and hopefully a good-paying job to go along with it.  I just need to keep up my motivation not to slow down and let fear get a hold of me.

Big hugs and lots of love to you all!

~Shelby 

Mornin All

Sounds like a lot of things are getting back to the new normal... thats great.

Im back into another set of appointments. I guess for now they will be quite frequent, yesterday I had another full body bone scan. Hopfully will figure out why there is still pain in the area's they radiated (back ribs) for the bone pain..  it was supposed to be gone in 2 weeks. Will maybe figure out if they missed it or if its on the move?? After this I have blood work on the 28th then Onc visit first week of Feb. Oh I also got a call from the new Plastic Surgeon, they have an appointment open for March 11. Hopefully he will pull a rabbit out of the hat & come up with a simple surgery that will work for me. Im not holding my breath but I will at least try..

Have also talked it over with dh and I just might go into that PARP Inhibitor trial (Inaparib I think) I may be jumping the gun but I think those ribs are telling me I should have a closer look at it. So Ive got a lot of decisisions coming up in the next month of so. Just need to stay strong and not let it get to me..... ugggg wonder if Ill need a 3rd port?? My first was great but my second was horrible and now I have no fatty tissue (boobs) to protect it either.... oh well ya do what ya gotta do.

Need to make a few calls.

Big hugs, Suz

Philippa, your pictures are beautiful.  What a talent, I just have never mastered the art of good picture taking.  Ladies if you haven't been out to her blog, do it, you will not be disappointed.  Makes me want to come over for that visit.  We could have a reunion at your place.

Shelby, you go girl, you have been through so much and have still been able to accomplish getting a masters.  I am so impressed. 

suz, I hope  the new PS does you good.  You deserve to have the reconstruction.  Keep up the good attitude.

valerie, grandkids are the greatest, love  em and leave em.  Good luck on the reconstruction and having em the same size.  Will be keeping you in my thoughts.

Hello to michele, jenna, mary and jean, hope you are having a wonderful week.

Juannelle

Hi everyone

I dont know where to start.......

One L - I so appreciagte your support and comments - thanks so much .  My goodness I hav e so many more pics to post, and have to give credit for the wonderful places i have been priveleged to live and work.

 Suz - the party seems to be between your place and mine - why dont we have two?  I would love to have you all here.

 News from my side is that  the tests today seem to be good so far - and even the tumour marker is down a little. I am ridiculously relieved.  Now I have a proecudure tomorrow to see if the port can be sorted - it might be taken out so by this time torrow i might be de-ported.  Scary stuff!

Big hugs to you all - and remember this time last year................

Philippa

xxxxx

Happy Friday....