I want to go out but I'm covered in cream.

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Arayasunshine69
Arayasunshine69 Member Posts: 50
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

Today I am asked to a "mom group" thing.  One of the ladies is having a mom and baby GTG at her house.  I have blisters from radiation, under my arm, on my neck...that is currently covered in cream and gauze.  I haven't worn a bra in a few weeks.  I would feel more comfortable if I stay home, but I worry that my daughter isn't getting enough socialization time with other kids.  Would you go, w/o wearing a bra, covered in goop?  Or would you skip it?

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  • DCMom
    DCMom Member Posts: 624
    edited January 2011

    If I read right your daughter should be about 1 year old.  I certainly wouldn't worry about socializing, you'll have plenty of time for socializing later, so do what you are comfortable with.  She will sense your anxiety and respond to it if you are uncomfortable.  If you go, go because you want to socialize and then she will enjoy it as well.

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  • Arayasunshine69
    Arayasunshine69 Member Posts: 50
    edited January 2011

    Thanks DCMom.  I called the host to tell her we were unable to make it....these other moms know I just completed radiation, so I think they'll understand.  I just worry that my 16 month old isn't getting enough time with other children. =(  Hopefully these radiation burns heal soon...I am so tired of wearing this sticky goopy cream...my armpit is raw, the size of my palm, my neck is now raw, and my chest looks like I laid a hot iron on it...yes, I would have felt really uncomfortable had I gone out to socialize. 

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  • hymil
    hymil Member Posts: 826
    edited January 2011

    I don't know if you are the sort of mom who never uses a babysitter and wants to do it all yourself, but you may need to if you get into further treatment .... Would someone else be able to take your little one out to a toddler group or something similar for you, so that she gets the socialisation and you get a two hour break? The saddest thing I have seen in my cancer journey was at the diagnostic clinic mammogram stage, a youngish lady with a toddler in a buggy, clearly she had nobody to leave the child with and I thought, how will she ever manage at surgery.

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  • krcll
    krcll Member Posts: 343
    edited January 2011

    I agree with SherriG- during treatment I decided I wasn't going to do anything I didn't want to do- whether I was feeling super sick or just a little under the weather. It was my year of "me". I figured that my most important "job" that year was to go through treatment and take care of myself, without feeling guilty about it.

    You are soon done with treatment so use this last time to still take care of yourself and do what feels best for you :-)

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  • DCMom
    DCMom Member Posts: 624
    edited January 2011

    Glad you went with what felt best for you.  Sometimes we worry so much about socializing our kids, but kids are resilient she'll be right in the fray as soon as you are.  We were stationed in Italy while my kids were 6 mos - 3  1/2 and it was very difficult to get together regularly with other kids, and now they are the neighborhood social coordinators at 8 and 10.  Maybe they're just making up for lost time.  

    I wasn't much for a lot of sitters myself during treatment because in a way my kids were the very thing I needed to keep me moving and to not wallow, but if you feel you need a break then just remember;

    Chemo and Radiation are guilt free zones...and yes it is all about youSmile 

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  • mrsnjband
    mrsnjband Member Posts: 1,409
    edited January 2011

    Hi Kellie,

    You sound misserable.  I remember that, it took a little while but they do get better.  Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you.

    Sending love & support. NJ

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited January 2011

    Kellie - I had terrible burns after radiation too.........it was terrible, but the worst of it only lasted for about two weeks then I felt much better.  I also passed up invitations during chemo and at the end of radiation when I was covered in goop and unable to wear anything smaller than a large loose t-shirt or robe.  As for your daughter, I'm sure she'll be fine, but if you feel like she really needs to socialize is there someone you trust well enough to take her to a friends house with other children, the park or library during children's time/hour?  It would give you a break and let her socialize.

    (((hugs))) and I hope that you heal quickly.

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  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited January 2011

    I'm one of those moms that would call you and ask you if I could come and pick your child up for you to give you a break and give her social time.  I wish more people thought that way!

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  • Arayasunshine69
    Arayasunshine69 Member Posts: 50
    edited January 2011

    Awww, you're all so sweet! I live in Edmonton...my family are in Newfoundland, and my boyfriend's family are in British Columbia.  My boyfriend works away up North, 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off.  Believe me when I say there are days I feel like a single mom.  My mom spent all summer here, all of October, and 3 weeks in December.  When she came in December, it was because I was going through radiation, and we thought that would be the best time for her to come.  We didn't anticipate me being in all this pain now. *Sigh.*  I told my boyfriend that If I ever had to go through chemo, or radiation again, I was moving back to NL, or BC where I would have alot of family support.  My friends here have been good to me though...but I feel like I call the same people over and over, and I'm just so tired of asking for help.  I feel like there is always something going on, and I'm tired and feel like I'm constantly complaining. Today, my ribs started to hurt...on the left side, (I had radiation on my right side) It hurts when I take a breath, and I don't know what I did. 

     I think it's time to start looking for a sitter though...someone who I can call up with little notice, to watch my daughter, even for a couple of hours during the week, while my bf is working away.  Most of the time, I'm ok.  I'm so distracted with taking care of her, that I don't have time to feel anything, but some other days, I feel like everything is happening all at once, and it breaks me.  I love my boyfriend dearly, but there are days I'm so angry with him, because he's away.  It's been a really rough 7 months. 

     I'm so happy to have found this board.  Thanks for letting me rant....

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited January 2011

    I was in your shoes not long ago, although my kids were older.  I did go out to socailize them.  I bought a couple 'sports bras' and wore them.  I would slather the lotion on and put my sports bra on.  Mostpeople I ws seeing knew what I was going through and were happy to see me out and about.  You can always just layer up with tank tops and T shirts/sweaters if the sports bras hurt you.  Jusst do it!  Don't let cancer stop you!

    XOXO

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  • rayofsun
    rayofsun Member Posts: 204
    edited January 2011

    hi aray from another aray. when i was going thru rads and creams i used non stick telfa pads under my bras when i went out so the cream stayed on and it did not mess up my bras.

    ray

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited January 2011

    Kellie, hang in there!

    Keep remembering that this is the worst time right now, things will only get better for you. By the summer you will have a lot of your strength back, and be out and about with your daughter all the time.

    We have no close family that lives nearby either, and my kids were 3 and 5 when I was going through treatment. My MIL lives in Ottawa, and she would come down for the weekend every Chemo round, but go home when I was still not feeling all that well. So most of the days it was just me home with the kids, and I can tell you they watched a lot of TV! That was 2 years ago, and I can honestly tell you that it did them no harm at all.

    So, do what you have to do, stay home if you feel like it, and take things as easily as you need to. It is only for a short time, your biggest job right now is to heal.

    There is also this company I came across after I had finished treatment (they would have been a godsend during!) - I don't know if they are in the Edmonton area at all, but they might be able to help out. http://nannyangelnetwork.com/

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  • Arayasunshine69
    Arayasunshine69 Member Posts: 50
    edited January 2011

    Hi Ladies!  Just thought I'd touch base...the radiation burns are looking alot better today...I'm a lighter shade of pink now...my armpit feels a little better too.  Yesterday, my ribs on my left side started to hurt, and by the time I went to bed last night, I started to have pain in my tail bone...this morning, I could barely move.  Is this related to medications/treatments, or is this just my streak of bad luck? I do have arthritis everywhere...I was so stiff, and all hunched over...of course it's Monday, and all my friends are working.  I finally found relief after taking a tordol, and 2 tylenol 3's, and taking a bath with Epsom salts added to it.  I have a girlfirend coming over when she gets off work, and she's helping me out tomorrow as well, and a cousin is coming by to help me on Wednesday.  I hate feeling like a burden, and feel so helpless. 

    Kerry, I looked up the Nanny Angle Network...from what I can tell, they don't have a location in Edmonton...looks like they have one in Calgary though.  (3 hours from here.)  What a great idea..I wish it were in Edmonton too!  I actually told my oncologist once that they should have a little daycare there, for moms with children going through chemo.  He told me to write in a request.  

    I guess I'm just having a hard few weeks.  I know it will pass.  I hope soon.  

     Cheers!

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  • KittyDog
    KittyDog Member Posts: 1,079
    edited January 2011

    Just wanted to say I too was one that burned horrible.  It too shall pass in a couple of weeks.  I finished treatment on July 2 and by the last week in July I was on the beach!  I had a 7 year old and I don't know how you are doing it with a one year old.  Bless your heart.  Wishing you a fast recovery.

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited January 2011

    I just wanted to check in to see how you were doing and hoping that you're feeling better.  (((hugs)))

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  • Arayasunshine69
    Arayasunshine69 Member Posts: 50
    edited January 2011

    Hi Ladies!  Thanks Jenn. =)

    My burns are pretty good, I've still been applying the gauze and cream, and it has helped alot.  Seems like there is always something going on though.  Today I was sick, and throwing up all day.  A friend came over to watch my daughter so I could sleep, I could not keep any food or liquid down.  I am feeling a little better right now, so far I've kept some gingerale down. I hate throwing up.  Boyfriend will be home in less then a week, I can't wait.  Is nauscia a side effect from Tamoxifen, or maybe it's from Tylenol 3? Although, if it were a Tamoxifen side effect, wouldn't it have happened sooner, I've been taking them since November?  I have to wait one more week to get the results from my CT and bone scan.  I'm trying to be optimistic about it, but I'm scared.  Hopefully I will have awesome news to share with everybody then. =) xo!

    Cheers!

     

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  • Arayasunshine69
    Arayasunshine69 Member Posts: 50
    edited January 2011

    Oh yes...Daughter was really good today, even when my help left.  It was like she knew I wasn't feeling well, and had to let me rest. =)

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited January 2011

    Kellie, I'm sorry to hear you've not been well. I've been throwing up too - think it is a bug! Rest up, hope you feel better soon.

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  • DCMom
    DCMom Member Posts: 624
    edited January 2011

    Kellie,

    I was given some gel-type bandages to wear over my burns at the very end.  They opened like a bandage, but had a cooing gel instead of gauze.   I don't recall what they were called, but ask you radiologist about it.  These were great when I was really blistering. 

    On a good note my radiologist said that the skin deterioration was "just what he wanted to see" because that meant he was getting the effect he wanted.  Yippee I was absolutely chicken fat fried.

    Keep trudging along.  I really hope you feel better soon. 

    Susan

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  • sdstarfish
    sdstarfish Member Posts: 544
    edited January 2011

    Hi, Kellie:

    Sounds like you've been through quite a time with radiation. Hope you're feeling much better soon.

    Lisa

    www.pinkkitchen.info

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