I'm bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.

Annette - you're pretty funny yourself. Thanks!

ROCK ON RUTH... Yay for posting the now you! You look great gal. and what a great smile

Sorry you new ladies had to join the club, but sure is nice to meet you!

Science Girl... Great first ever vent post! How are you doing REALLY?  I hear ya about the cussing. If ANYONE has a right to say whatever you want to, you do. DH ought to be doing some too cause he's got some learning to do. Has he been supportive? I know it's hard on the sibling end too, like, what's the deal? Probably they are afraid of knowing what you are going thru or what you will be going thru. And the people at work - they don't even count. Eventually, you will know who your real friends are and you might be surprised. I hope for the good. THANK GOD for the dogs. You can cry and vent and tell them anything and they won't tell a soul. I used to go out into our 'barn' (it's really a big shed) and sit out there and cry cry cry with my dog. She was such a terrific listener.

I think your post touched me the most.. we know how you feel, like you can't take a breath. So, when you sit to read and post again. stop, take those deep cleansing breaths we learned in childbirth classes, take 3, and know that we are with you thru this. Nobody else needs to know about us or what we say, unless you want them to.

Two suggestions; 1. do be cautious about using real names, you never know what happens when someone googles. 2. write your text in a word document. (then "select all", copy, paste). you get the journaling effect and you won't lose long posts like you can writing directly into the post-a-reply box.

That's nice to hear I made someone laugh. In my dreams, I'm a stand up comic who gets her own sitcom. Then I could send Barbe grocery and gas money.

I have such short term memory now that unless I make notes I can't remember who said what, but someone mentioned taking a short-term leave from work. and that's A GREAT IDEA! I did it. Was at my job 18 years and used vacation days for surgery and most of rads. I went to work in the morning and did rads late afternoon, it was summer and I went swimming after treatment for my sanity and because it kept pissing off the tech who had to put tape over my paint pen marks.. heehee. It got to be very hard to keep on keeping on, my skin was compromised, so I took the short term leave, 12 weeks, I took 9 and went back. And by then everybody there knew what was going on. This is Savannah afterall. Our gossip undercurrent is deep and swift. And they were great. For real. I loved my job. Haven't worked in almost 3 years now. On Disabiity. it's a struggle.

Man I would love to see Cher perform. When is that? HAVE A BLAST !  If you look around you'll find a thread of BCO ladies who unite in Vegas every year and have a terrific time. They book a group in the same hotel.. Doesn't that sound like fun? It totally sucks to miss out on your girls week or weekend. I missed mine last year for the first time in 10 years. I was so pissed. But we are planning it again for this year and only the funding would keep me away, I'm saving up now. We just beach it for a week, cooking in condo some, eating out some. We try to climb lighthouses if there is one near. I'm always the slowest, but I get up there and they applaude.

~Connie

wait a minute Connie...do you live in Savannah, Georgia? How cool is that?! That is my dream destination....I have to make it to Savannah...

Science Girl- I was pretty happy I got laid off actually as I was planning to quit in a few months anyway to go hike the Appalachian Trail (I did 900 of the 2200 miles with DH this year- that's a whole nother story) But getting laid off allowed me to qualify for subsidized COBRA health insurance for 15 of the 18 months- but that 15th month is Feb- the price triples (will probably drop DH). And then at the end of May- I better have another job with benefits by then. I have a 3 week temp job in Feb with a company I really like-it has the potential to turn into a great job- but they are waiting to get more contracts before they can hire someone full time.

 I am happy with my TRAM recon- I had a reduction on it this year and now it matches the other better- it was quite a lot larger before and I felt self consious of that. I had nipple recon and its okay- somewhat of a dissappointment as my radiated skin doesn't hold the bump well. I had the first round of tatooing and it does make a difference somehow- if I look in the mirror in poor light it almost looks I have a matched set.

I say let's save a savannah fund and go! I was intrigued by the city before I read the book and that just made me nuts when I read it (Garden). I do believe I lived there a very long time ago....ah, but that is that is another story (see "woo hoo BC survivors who believe they have lived before)

In the whole spirit of going left instead of right (a little exercise that helps us to change) my hubby invited me to go with him today down to galveston to an AA convention-  (he has been in AA for over 24 years-again, another story for another day). My first instinct was NO, I must catch up on work, not practical, blah blah blah. I bit the words and said ok, let's do it. I last went 20 years ago and that is where I found out I could laugh again. He reminded me how much I had enjoyed meeting folks from all over the country. And said if it isn't so good, at least we'll be on the gulf and can be on water. Oldest son is coming to hang with younger kiddo (thunk...falling over, that happened with no...I have a lot do, etc) saying that's cool mom-you and pops need to go play for a day. There is so much good sometimes. It dawned on me how I could have changed the whole tone if I would have not "turned left" when he asked me. I would have missed that he had cleaned the house (of course not as WELL as I would have-but again BIT MY FAT TONGUE) so I would not feel the need to do it on a Saturday. Would have missed older son stepping up to the plate (and his bro thinks the world hangs on his shoulders). Would have missed an adventure that may or may not be what it was 20 years ago but does not really matter-it is the doing. Me thinks a lot of crap in my life is sourced out of my laughable control and being in charge of every damn thing...motto of the week "Turn left"

LOVE the "turn left"!!!!!! That's what I've been doing for 52 years and why people think I'm nuts! I'm terrified of water, so I am now a licensed scuba diver. I had a realistic fear of motorcycles, so of course I got one along with my license! Tractor trailers on the highway are intimidating....YEP!!!....got my tractor trailer licence and drove for a year across the US and Canada.

I LOVE stretching my comfort zone. Sounds so much better to say "turn left" instead of people thinking I'm impulsively crazy!  well....that too.

turning left- awesome! I might have a tendency to do that- when I get in a  rut- unhappy where I'm at- I had a tendency to just want to totally shake things up- move somewhere else, quit my job, go hike the Appalachian Trail (this year was the second time, the first time 9 years ago, I did it solo and made it the whole way- 6 months of hiking). I hate being bored. Even now, this temp job I am doing will take me out in the field for weeks at a time, if I get the full time job, I'll be in the office, but the office is 4 hours away from where I live now- would be away from home a lot. DH is fine with it, but I have to wonder why the only job I've found that appeals to me is this one that is totally different than anything I've done before (but the work itself is actually totally in my field and I'm completely qualified- so in that sense, its not outside my comfort zone.

 I think I just hate being bored.

I haven't tried this yet, but would it work to hit the "Post a Reply" button that is just below each entry and go from there? Your replies, I guess would be at the bottom of all the posts but your post would comment on each individual's entry.  I may try that one of these days....Suzie

No one would know to go back and read a post pages back. That option is if you don't want to forget what you were going to say.

Great news Diva! My DH's car had the same thing happen last week- I was going to say it was the cold weather- but I see you are in Bermuda! I'm jealous- we have snow on the ground.

That sucks ... Im about to do the same. Let AAA go, letting my magazines go, let the sattelite TV go,drop, lowered my cell phone plan, everything that isn't a need. The library is still free, thank goodness. The gas to get there isn't. Ans someboody stole your whole spare tire?? Thats low.  do they even make a truck spare lock? geeze.

Wow!

I don't wish that I had breast cancer 3 years ago when I was going through so much crap with my daughter, but I sure wish I had this board to vent on at the time.

3 years ago, my daughter was involved  with a guy I like to call Scumbag. She was going to college to become a teacher. She moved in with this guy, and he immediately started cutting her off from her friends and family. Every time I talked to her, she sounded miserable. She would say, "He's nice to me.....when he isn't drinking...." Long story short, one night, when he was drinking, they got into an argument. One of his friends was at their place, and this friend called the police.My daughter claimed that Scumbag hit himself in the chest with the TV remote before the police arrived so that he had marks, and that the friend backed up his story that she had hit him. The police came and my daughter was arrested and taken to jail in handcuffs. It was the Friday of a holiday weekend, so she spent 3 days in jail. She was charged with domestic violence. Imagine what that does to someone who wants to be a teacher!

This was probably one of the worst times of my life-I sometimes look back on it and wonder if the stress didn't cause my cancer.  But...I survived, and so did my daughter. 3 years later, after much therapy for both of us, she realizes how toxic that relationship was. She graduated from college, she has a good job(not as a teacher though ) and is slowly getting her legal record cleared. She also has a very nice boyfriend who treats her well.

I wanted to offer a little hope to those here who have posted with troubles with their children and their children's poor choices in life. It does get better, although it sure doesn't seem like it will at the time.  

Mary 

You're welcome Connie07. Your story felt so close to home to me, and I wanted to give you a little encouragement. 

How is your daughter now?

Mary