Never hearing the word Cured!!!!

I don't know the answer but when I asked my oncologist she said, "You will know you are cured when you live to be 80 or you die of something else."  Not really the answer I wanted but for some reason I'm ok with it.  I think she meant that no one knows what will happen until it happens.

When I asked my rad oncologist (2 months ago at check up) if me getting to 5 yrs is a good thing or just means I am closer to a recurrence he said, "Getting to 5 years is a great thing and is something you should celebrate."  He also said something about recurrence chances going down as time goes on and I said, "Are you lying to me?"  He said something about not being allowed to lie to me since he is a dr.

My onc has used the word curable in relation to cancer below stage 4 and calls stage 4 cancer treatable...but he never talks cured...just NED...no evidence....I've been lead to believe that you know the cancer didn't return when you die of something else!!  I've done all I can to treat my BC and prevent a reoccurance...so hopefully I'll live to be a cranky old lady!!!

This is an older article, and it also is based on old stats (pre-herceptin and AI's even) but it is very encouraging -

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSN1248209720080812 

Faithful, it was a big mental leap for me realising that even my Onc had no idea whether or not the treatment had "worked." Nobody knows, so I just choose to live like it has until I know otherwise!

Dear Faithfulheart

What I wrote in that tread  was something I heard from other patients and no specialist like oncs confirmed it and as you saw I asked others for an answer. I know that whoever Dxed with BC specially new ones like my mom are so sensitive. All of sisters and their families are searching for inspiring stories. Here is one:

My uncle's wife was dx with BC in her two breasts at 2000. She Had mastectomy her right breast and nothing is done even lumpecomy with her left breast. She had node involvement and hormone receptor +.She is doing really fine and with a lot of hope continuing her daily life. There are a lot of people around us who at a certain time suffered from BC. You should go on with your faith and belive me very soon in the near future all of us happily will listen that the concrete cure for BC is found. We all shold pray for that special day.

A big HUG to you. 

3 weeks age I finished dose dense chemo.  During that time, I felt so bad that fear was on the back burner.  Even though I am still having SE from chemo, I m feeling well enough to worry.  I think suppressing the worry and fear is probably the only way to enjoy my life but still difficult.  It's nice to ready other people's concerns and ideas.  I think people who haven't gone through this can only empathisize so far.

Elizabeth

Tupelo has summed it up perfectly. I queitly celebrated passing 5 years....then 10 years. I began to feel confident that I may be one of the lucky ones-and back it came, 13 years later. I am now stage 1V and therefore terminal-and this is despite doing everything recommended, and even having prophylactic surgery as I'm BRCA2.

I would suggest that it's actually less devastating in the long term, to always have the possibility of recurrence in the back of your mind-just try to keep it in the back of your mind, and don't become paranoid about every pain! As I had started to believe I was going to be ok, the resultant shock when I was diagnosed with recurrence was undescribably awful. I couldn't assimilate it at all. Spent 4 days looking at the wall and crying, unable to move. Had I kept the possibility of recurrence in my mind, I think I may have found the shock of diagnosis easier to bear. I'll never know, but it sounds logical. I had even suggested to my onc that we could dispense with annual checkups-that was in the August-I was rediagnosed in the November! Talk about timing.....Good luck to you all-hope with all my heart that none of you ever end up in my situation.

Thanks Lago! I've been on chemo with very few breaks for 3 years now. At present on taxol, herceptin and pamidronate. My main worry is the spread to the liver, which is notoriously hard to treat-we've had periods of stability in the bones and pleura, and even reduction a few times-but the liver is stubborn! Mentally and physically it is getting exhausting now-after all, I'm pumping my body full of poisons every 3 weeks, so some kind of reaction is inevitable. But as long as it slows down progression, at the least, then I'll continue until I've exhausted all my options.

the other day my neighbor asked me how long has it been since initial diagnosis...i said; "it will be 9 years in feb"  he said; "well, you must be cured"  i said; "i am doing well, but i always have it in the back of my mind that it could show up" 

i don't think of myself as "cured" at all i think of myself as "doing well"  lol  doing well can be during treatment...after treatment (NED) or even having it come back after years. 

this is how i think of it, i want to stay in the moment of my life....do "today"  take care of daily things..enjoy my pleasures...avoid getting hit by a car while i cycle...and continue to FU with oncologist. ( i see her every 6 months)  my experience of life is that you can never be prepared for "hard" events...whether divorce...accidents...cancer....and i guess life is just like that.  i think what has helped me the most is just plain ole acceptance of the unpredictability of life ...some days are good days..and some days are hard days.  all i know, i just want to keep going...enjoying...being grateful....and living while i am here on this earth.  that is all i know.

Hugs ** you are all so awesome and stronger then you know*

diana

(((((((HUGS Faithfulheart))))))))

keep on..keep on....

Oh.......I love the quote NOT LONG ENOUGH, I think I'll have to steal that one.

My onc is a very black and white person, lays it out on the table without too much gray area.  He isn't well liked by some women because he says it like it is, which is the very reason I love him.  Anyway, he told me when I was finished with treatment that he could never tell me that I am cured, there are other cancers that he can say cured to, but not to BC.  He said his job is to check up on me and to listen to me to decide if there is an ache or pain to be looked into and mine is to live.......Go out and enjoy my life - have fun, be happy.  I like is philosphy and am trying to live that way.

I was talking to another survivor recently and when I told her I was coming up on 5 years she told me that it meant I was cured!!!  I was it was so simple!!!  She is going on 2 years...I just told her my onc  doesn't use the word cure, but NED....and I love the comment "not long enough"  how true

I was watching an interview on Entertainment Tonight with Michael Douglas talking about his ordeal with throat cancer and chemo and radiation.  He cheerfully said I''m tumor free"  but stage IV.  He wishes it would have been cought earlier at stage 1 or 2  but 4 is not great he said.  So I kind of felt in my own heart that even though they got his tumor, and he;s tumor free, he may yet not be cancer free because the little buggers are probabaly seeding distant places in the body.  That;s what I always wonder about my cancer. 

Barb

Some cancers are curable-I believe Douglas' type came into this category. Very hard to treat, but curable, if caught early enough-let's hope so (whatever we think of the man!).

But Barbe what about us gals that have very fast growing AND hormone positive. Talk about not fitting into either category. HER2+ typically are Grade 3, very fast growing and hormone negative. When we are  hormone positive we usually aren't highly positive. (In my case 30%ER 5%PR).

I feel there are no reliable stats for Herceptin treated HER2+ gals because they haven't been treating early stage with it for that long. It's still just a guessing game. Best to live my life and only start to worry if something doesn't feel quite right.

Yes I get Herceptin but it is only a miracle drug if it works… and right now they think it's about 50% of the time. Better than nothing but shitty odds IMO.