I feel foolish...But nobody understands

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shabby6485
shabby6485 Member Posts: 679
edited June 2014 in High Risk for Breast Cancer

Hi again,

I have Atypical Lobular Hyperplasia and get mammograms every 6 months.  This will be my second one since diagnosis, the first one was clear.

The mammo is  on Monday and I am beyond anxious.  I feel bad posting when I read all the  brave stories on this board .  I just wish I could put this in perspective.

My family and friends don't get it and I do not discuss my fears with them.  They just say...well, you don't have cancer.....

I just need to vent a bit as it relieves my anxiety.

Thank you for listening and best wishes to you all in 2011. 

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Comments

  • hilda1976
    hilda1976 Member Posts: 60
    edited January 2011
    • Don't feel bad - it IS  scary having to have mamos every 6 months.  my first follow up for THDH  is next month - 
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  • SarahsMom
    SarahsMom Member Posts: 1,779
    edited January 2011

    It's ok, I go in every 6 months, too and have for the last 3 years. I am scared everytime. This time, for the first time since my surgery, I was called back for a diagnostic and I will have an MRI soon. I don't even tell my family anymore.  I'd rather go it alone right now, for me it is a better place to be psychologically. I am so glad I found this site and all of the wonderfully supportive and courageous ladies out here! My next paycheck, I plan to donate to this organization that makes the board possible - I've saved lots of $$$ in therapy, laughing here!

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  • MammaShells
    MammaShells Member Posts: 53
    edited January 2011

    I'll be thinking of you on Monday! This is a great place to come for support and people sho share the same worries and fears. I have LCIS, ADH and ALH and while not cancer, it is still very scary. With cancer you fight, with high risk you worry about if and when you'll have to fight and if you are doing enough. You are doing the right thing by monitoring closely and it's normal to feel anxious. I'm only two months out from surgical biopsy and I find that I worry on and off all the time. Sleep is the most difficult thing for me, I've been taking 1 Tylenol PM when it gets bad, sleep deprivation makes the worry worse. 

    Hopefully things will go well on Monday and you can breathe. In the mean time, try to get your sleep and do something for yourself this weekend that feels good be it a walk, a pedicure or a nice meal...whatever makes you feel good, do that! :)

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  • flash
    flash Member Posts: 1,685
    edited January 2011

    shabby- don't trivialize your fears.  Women on this board aren't any braver than you, we just are women.  Your fears are every bit as legitimate so don't beat yourself up.  I hope everything goes well on monday.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2011

    shabby---I've been doing high risk surveillance for over 7 years, and I have to say, it definitely does get easier over time. Early on I was kinda consumed by it all, now I don't really worry unless they tell me of something specific to worry about! (saw this saying today which is appropriate---"Don't borrow sorrow from tomorrow")

    Anne

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  • afioresi
    afioresi Member Posts: 4
    edited January 2011

    I  have ALH as well. I had an excisional biopsy on 12/23.   My follow up is in six months.  I'm not as worried about that as I am enduring the five years of Tamoxifen therapy.  I'm a few weeks in and either I am imagning it, or I really do feel exhausted. 

    Good luck on your mammo.  

    Angela

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  • KellyMaryland
    KellyMaryland Member Posts: 350
    edited January 2011

    Sending you calming thoughts for tomorrow.  -Kelly

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  • honestxheart
    honestxheart Member Posts: 3
    edited January 2011

    Everyone needs to vent now and then. no worries. stay strong! you have people to support you.

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  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 17,186
    edited January 2011

    Hang in there. Don't expect people to get it. Unless you look sick they won't get it. Trust me if you had a bad cold they would be more sympathetic. This is scary stuff of course you're concerned.

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  • shabby6485
    shabby6485 Member Posts: 679
    edited January 2011

    Thanks to everyone for responding and providing words of comfort.  I got good news that my mammogram was clear.  Such a relief.  Thanks again!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2011

    shabby----fantastic news! Here's to only clear scans in the future!

    Anne

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  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited January 2011

    Go out and celebrate you, shabby!

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  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 17,186
    edited January 2011
    Yay!  Smile
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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited January 2011

    Shabby .. fabulous news .. we truly "get it" here and understand your fears!

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  • MammaShells
    MammaShells Member Posts: 53
    edited January 2011

    Hooray! Great news :)

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  • KellyMaryland
    KellyMaryland Member Posts: 350
    edited January 2011

    Great news!! Thanks for posting it.

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  • 3daywalker
    3daywalker Member Posts: 54
    edited January 2011

    Oh my goodness don't feel bad, you certainily don't want to end up like us! You keep doing what you are doing and stay on top of it, early detection does save lives. Mammo may not be for you, check into 3D or ultrasounds they are so much better at picking up any lumps. bumps or spots. Honestly, self exams are certainly important you should check all over not just on the breast, try under the arms, on the rib cage and the neck area. I caught mine on my rib cage just about 3 inces outside of the breast, there was also cancer in the breasts too but hadn't formed tumors. I called them my floaters.

    Take care and stay vigilant!

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