Trying To Find A Balance in My Life

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pupfoster1
pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

Hi Ladies,

Lately I've been pondering how to find the right balance of taking care of myself to avoid a recurrence and being able to enjoy my life.  I KNOW it's not healthy to eat junk foods, high sugar, alcohol, etc, but are we not able to enjoy ANY of these things anymore, even in moderation???  I've overdone it in all regards since the holidays and of course worry that "it" could take advantage of that.  Yet, do we get to a point where we deny ourselves of anything we enjoy for fear of what "could" happen?  

Of course with the New Year I (and I'm sure many others out there) are going to try to start anew, and that is what I want to do, but is it all ultimately worth it?  What if the crappy C comes back anyway and we've deprived ourselves of the "little" things in life all along????   Sheesh, boggles the mind doesn't it???

I'd love to hear how you all "find the balance" in your lives!

My best to you all, and a Very Happy New Year!

Sharon

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  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited December 2010

    Pup....I eat healthy and have a good weight...but if I want a chocolate bar, chips, chewy candy or red wine, I am going to enjoy it.....I basically live the same way I did before BC and I still got Dx stage 3....so I figure the beast is going to come back or it won't....yes, I worry and it is always in the back of my mind, but I am going to do what I want!!!  Moderation is the key....I think it is important to make peace with whatever you do....So go ahead and eat the junk food, have a drink, but also eat your veggies and exercise!!!  Wishing you a happy and healthy 2011. :)

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  • kimber3006
    kimber3006 Member Posts: 586
    edited December 2010

    I actually probably eat less healthy now.  Before BC I was very into a South Beach kind of diet for years and years - lots of veggies, lean meats, whole grains, very little starches and sugars.  I still do the first three, but now I also include potatoes - gosh I love potatoes and missed them terribly all these years - and lots of fruit and even junk food once in a while if I feel like it.  I do try to do more organic.  I used to exercise an hour and a half 2 or 3 times a week, now I shoot for 30 minutes 5 or 6 times a week.  I tried really hard before BC to do all the "right" things healthwise (though I did like my wine - ha!) and here I am at stage 3 anyway.  I'm still going to exercise and try to eat right, but I'm not going to deny myself those things that I enjoy, that make me happy.  That said, I've been TERRIBLE this holiday season, too.  I've probably eaten more chocolate and cookies in the last 2 months that I have in the last 10 years!  I'm going to have to work a little harder on moderation now that I'm losing my holiday excuse.  ;)

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited December 2010

    I don't deny myself anything, really, I just limit some things now. Like wine. The only thing I really avoid altogether is soy and bacon (damn nirtates!) But sometimes I just think it is me trying to have some sort of control over this, when really I am not sure any of it will make a difference.

    I try and eat loads of fruit and vege, and eat as healthily as I can, but I always did anyhow. I do sometimes even eat McDonalds (revolting as it is, but with kids, it is inevitable) I really think you need to eat foods you enjoy, and really, life is too short for denying yourself anything. 

    The only think I am religious about is exercise.

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  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited December 2010

    I agree with all the above, pup!  I think you have to enjoy your life.  What's the use in denying yourself?  Exercise is very important, along with eating a balanced diet, so if you aren't exercising enough, find something you like to do and stick with it.  Many people undervalue walking.  Anyone can walk.  I have a neighbor who's lost 70 lbs over the last year just walking.  I see him out there doing it every day, and he's not sweating hard, just out there walking at a good pace and enjoying the day.  I myself run, but if the knees or hips start protesting, I'll go to walking.  On the days I don't run, sometimes I'll crank up the treadmill to one of the highest elevations and do hills.  It feels great.

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  • diana50
    diana50 Member Posts: 2,134
    edited December 2010

    sharon

    i think you have to live and enjoy life while you are alive and here on this earth.  i also think; you can do this within moderation....once you are gone...that is it. no wine...no pleasure foods...etc. and it doesn't mean cancer is going to be end for us....it can be anything.  having cancer has given me a real feeling of being grateful for each day.  i want to enjoy each day....so if i drink some wine...eat onion rings....i also exercise...and eat fruit and vggies.  i think there are things we can to keep our bodies healthy...but i also think we can't control whether or not the cancer returns.  it isn't so black and white.  as time passes....i have found my balance...and i think it really does take some time.  i will be 9 years out in feb 2011. Cool

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  • annettek
    annettek Member Posts: 1,640
    edited December 2010

    Thanks Diana-

    you really put it in a good way and NINE years!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

    Here is to triple that:)

    Happy New Year

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  • imbell
    imbell Member Posts: 659
    edited December 2010
    If you are in the normal range then I wouldn't worry but at 189 lbs. I feel like I am feeding the cancer.  It has to go so I am joining the Wednesday weigh in and following weight watchers. I do believe we should all be taking a multi vitamin and doing some type of exercise. A lot of us don't eat properly. I am looking for a gel cap type multi vitamin; hate those large horse pills. There is a website called dwilz.com which explains WW (Dottis Weight Loss Zone) really well and offers some menu plans for anyone who is interested.
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2011

    Hi Sharon,

    I started eating really healthy, no sugar or white flour, low glycemic, lots of green veggies and fruit and yogurt. But now, since the holidays,  I've been eating Christmas cookies and eggnog a but have really had no appetite at all since changing from Arimidex to Tomoxifen..

    image

    Barb

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  • allalone
    allalone Member Posts: 448
    edited January 2011

    pupfoster1 : I agree with Diana, we really can't control whether or not the cancer returns - or explain why we got it in the first place (if it wasn't genetic). You only have to look at the posts from women who did everything "right" before and after C and still succumbed to realize there is no right or wrong way to live. If you like veggies, eat bucketsful of them - and if you enjoy exercising, work out 24/7 - but all we do when we force ourselves to do what others think is the "right" thing to do is make ourselves miserable. It's not that happy people don't get C, of course they do, but I'd rather be happy than miserable.

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited January 2011

    I think in order to find balance you need to find what works for you, not look at what others are doing or what you think you should do, but what makes you comfortable.  Exercise in a way that makes you comfortable, if you don't like the gym or can't do it everyday find what works for you.  Eat healthy, but if you want that piece of chocolate cake have it..... Balance is finding what makes you feel good, both physically and mentally.

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  • SONIALIV
    SONIALIV Member Posts: 3
    edited January 2011

    Hi there,

     I have a similar diagnosis, and I think enjoyment is also helping us get through this. The day I was told I had this, I told myself that I have a free ticket to enjoy my life and stop worrying about things which arent necessary. Yes, we have to take good care of ourselves, and that includes being happy.  Take care,  

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  • SONIALIV
    SONIALIV Member Posts: 3
    edited January 2011

    Hi Diana,  I have been daignosed with Stage 3b, 13/26 lymph nodes, Grade 3 breast cancer on 26th november and have already had the masectomy of left breast...starting chemo on 1àth or 11th January.  I am so very happy to see that you are 9 years on and doing great. God bless you.

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  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited January 2011

    Hi Ladies and Happy New Year,

    Thank you all for your input.  It's good to see so many of you are actually enjoying life on life's terms. That's where I need to get to!  I actually loved working out before all this happened, was an avid gym goer at least 3-5 times a week---spinning, body pump, yoga, weight training, etc.  Now I just have a hard time getting out the door in the mornings, and if I don't do it then I don't go.  I really need to change my mind set about that, and a lot of other things.  So, hopefully with this being a new year, I can get a new start!

    (((HUGS))) to all of you!

    Sharon

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  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited January 2011

    P.S. Barb, BEAUTIFUL card!!!!!

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  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited January 2011

    I'm so glad to see all these posts about enjoying life.  Talking about "risks" has always been a hot button for me.  A risk is a possibility but we're trying to live life and not worry about the possibilities.  I feel it is so important to do things because you want to.  There are people out there who do things out of fear -- they've heard that if they do something it will reduce their risk.  But are they enjoying life if they live their life in fear??  That's not my style.

    I've been looking forward to this day.  It's the start of a new year and I get to put all the treatment behind me.  My SIL and BIL are coming over for a nice quiet day.  SIL and I are going to bundle up and go for a walk around Washington Park which is just beautiful.  And I do want to start walking again.  That it makes me healthier is just a bonus.  I just want to get outside more. 

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  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited January 2011

    Good to hear from you Anacortes, and you are right.  I HATE worrying about "if I do this or that, will it make the cancer come back?"  It such a vicious cycle.  I am looking forward to this year too, and VOW to get out of this rut I'm in!  

    There's an old saying that "if nothing changes, nothing changes".  Good words for me to remember this year!

    Take care,

    Sharon

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2011

    Meditation is helpful

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  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited January 2011

    Sharon,

    I've made a start on getting out of my rut.  Took that nice walk yesterday and did the same today.  Been way too long since I've taken walks two days in the same week let alone back to back.  I'm determined to do things that will make me feel better.  Today's walk was down to the PT's office.  Since I'm going to have to start going back to her for my shoulder I'm thinking I can just come home and walk down there.  Twenty five minutes to get there walking.

    I like that - "if nothing changes, nothing changes".  I also tell my team at work "if you don't ever make a mistake then you are doing nothing - it's about learning from your mistakes".  And apparently I made a mistake with how I was stretching my shoulder joint and that's why I'm going back to the PT.  At least I tried!

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  • Kathleen26
    Kathleen26 Member Posts: 210
    edited January 2011

    I have struggled with this myself, and right now I'm settling on the moderation approach, coupled with adding more exercise as part of a plan to lose weight this year.   From what I've read, I think that is going to give me the biggest bang for my buck.  Already I've found that the exercise is helping me mentally.   I've read about all the stuff I'm supposed to avoid, but I just don't see giving up everything I enjoy, especially when I know it may not work.

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