Coping with fading support

I am so glad to find this thread and know that I am not the only one who feels this way.  Like many, my friends were so supportive in the first few weeks but as time has gone on folks are wanning.  I used to get texts after every doc appt, chemo, etc. and now it is getting sparse.  And, those who I thought were "good" friends - who my DH and I had been there for in the past during their tough times - pretty much fell off the map when they heard I had cancer.  I am trying to look at the positive side, be grateful for all the poeple who HAVE supported me (including new friends) but it still hurts when people bail.

I'm so glad to have found this page cause I have felt exactly this way for a while.  The rational part of me knew that people would start to move on and "get on" with their lives after my exchange surgery from my BMX; but I still felt kind of blue since I knew it really wasn't over cause there were still more surgeries.  At work, it felt like it was over the minute I returned from my BMX even though I still had to get fills and exchange surgery.  Then a week after I returned, the owner of my office and his wife went thru a terrible separation in their marriage (we worked out of their house) and the wife would corner me when I came into the house and would talk to me endlessly about the divorce.  It was so stressful...I barely had a moment to think about my own situation.  It was like a soap opera.  Then last month, my sister was diagnosed with BC and just had a lumpectomy.  Please don't misunderstand, I feel terrible for her, but it has brought all the BC feelings back to the surface and I'm not even finished with my treatment.  I love my sister dearly but she keeps describing what she's going thru as though it's 100x's worse than what I went thru, like it's a competition.  I'm biting my tongue so much that it's practically swollen.  :-)  I feel bad for her and what she's going thru but I don't want to have a compete on who had it worse and I feel like that is what she's doing.  I was doing great up until last month and now I'm just so exhausted...Thanks for listening everyone. 

Diane- it is a very weird journey we are on. No doubt about it, at first everyone is in panic mode and then as we "resume" life as best we can while undergoing things we never imagined it seems we are in a limbo of sorts...I am lucky as jan said, even one good friend makes the difference and it is weird, since I didn't allow friends before since I was too damn busy, right before DX I decided that was just bs...I find I am trying to be more honest when people ask how I am. I don't want to come across as "cancer girl" but I realized that the fake ass smile I was planting on my face was just stupid when I was in pain or depressed. So am trying to find a balance- at work when I am tired, I rest. At home I rest more. My house is not as clean, I can't do as much as I did but ultimately is up to us to get ourselves better and we damn well better take care of ourselves so we can do it. I love my sister to pieces and am sorry to hear what yours is going through but mine is a complainer and a competer as well...very odd..she does care but like tonight we took my 84 yr old mom out to dinner and I was hurting bad and tired from a long day but had really wanted to spend a little time with my mom who I love dearly...anyway, it was all about her little aches and pains until I was ready to throttle her...but I didn't. It was about my mom not her or me. I just want to heal enough to get my mom over here living with us..since "it is exhausting taking care of her"...my sister's words. I have an son with autism and he would have my sister flat on her back in 3 days...as it is she has been whining that I haven't had momspend a weekend since my BMX! She keeps reminding me that all mom talks about is me and how worried she has been...like she is jealous, ahhhh...people are nutballs. I just pray for my strength and health to keep returning and then will get my mom over here where she is not such a burden:) We all have such different ways of looking at things. As for the majority (not all) coworkers, they see boobs and makeup and figure ALL BETTER. I have even been asked when my BMX is going to be....holy jeez...unless you are bleeding on the floor for some folks, you is ALL BETTER>Anyway, I had no idea I was torqued til I read this and am sorry for rambling.

Just remember- you have us for support always. And that ain't no small thing:)