Two years ago....

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KerryMac
KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

Two years ago I found BCO!

I had gotten my Path report on Christmas Eve, and had spent Christmas "not thinking about it". But two days after Christmas, I pulled it out, sat at the computer and had a bit of a Google assisted breakdown! I remember madly googling "Stage 3" and "prognosis" and finding so many scary (and as I now know, dated) studies and reports. 

I was a mess, and distraught, and I was sure I had just celebrated my last Christmas with my children. It was one of the darkest days of my life. 

And then I found BCO, and the Stage Three Forum. I remember reading peoples signature lines, and calling out to my husband "this one had 10 positive nodes, this one 7, this one 17!! And she was diagnosed 2 years ago, 4 years ago, 8 years ago!" It was the first real hope I think I had felt since I heard the words Cancer. It took me a couple of weeks before I was brave enough to leap in and post, but it was the best thing I have ever done for myself.

And now two years later, you are not just "signature lines" to me, but real friends. You have helped me through treatment, and then shown me how to live, and really live, in an often uncertain post-treatment world.

Thank you, thank you to all my friends here. I am so glad I found you.

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  • everyminute
    everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
    edited December 2010

    I was just reading your daughter's santa note to my daughter Cassie last night. 

    I said "You know my friend Kerry from Canada?"

    Cassie "Yup"

    I am proud to call you friend.

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited December 2010

    Mary, I remember one of your first posts to me, something about when going through Chemo remembering to drink a lot and also try to keep exercising, and then you said something like - but not at the same time because you just get wet...and I just remember thinking if you can be joking, it can't be all bad!

    Love you, and heres to actually seeing you in 2011! 

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  • everyminute
    everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
    edited December 2010

    Ha ha Kerry - 2011 for sure!!!

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  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited December 2010

    Kerry you are to be commended for being a wonderfully supportive friend to many.

    May you have many more years... a full lifetime.

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  • DCMom
    DCMom Member Posts: 624
    edited December 2010

    Kerry- I remember when you first started posting and you have always been so positive.  It's women like you that make this such a strong forum.  You are inspirational to so many.  Thank you so much for being there for so many others.  For all you may have gained from this site you are one who has given so much more.

    God Bless you as you continue to post for years to come.

    Susan

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  • diana50
    diana50 Member Posts: 2,134
    edited December 2010

    kerry....big hugs....awesome women here...these boards demonstrate the power, strength and love of many*** so glad to hear you are doing well....****

    keep on*Cool

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  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited December 2010

    I also went out on the net searching for information on my BC and kept running into negative stuff which just confirmed all my fears.  I knew that what I really needed was ladies who were in the same situation and similar dx.  So I completely relate to how you told your husband about these ladies who had years under their belt -- I did the same thing!  But you were one of the ladies who supported me through some tough times.  So I have to turn this around to tell you "Thank you!". 

    I wishing you many more happy and merry Christmases!

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  • Kathleen26
    Kathleen26 Member Posts: 210
    edited December 2010

    I'm one of the people now who doesn't post a lot yet, but I have found so much consolation on these boards.   It's so hard to fight the negative some days, but knowing others that are going through the same thing...and surviving...is such a boost to me.

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  • clariceak
    clariceak Member Posts: 752
    edited December 2010

    Kerry - much love and happiness being sent your way.  I just know you'll have many more years with your wonderful family.

    When I was struggling through my Stage III dx, I remember you saying "cancer doesn't know what stage it is" and that pulled me through many a dark moment.

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  • helena67
    helena67 Member Posts: 357
    edited December 2010

    Kerry, and all of the other Stage IIIers,

    Wishing you a wonderful, happy and healthy 2011!

    -Helena.

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  • kim40
    kim40 Member Posts: 904
    edited December 2010

    Kerry 

    You (and all of us) have certainly come along ways.  You went from searching for support and answers to giving support and advice yourself.  You were the first one to respond to my chemo questions as to what I can expect etc.  You were there for me and for that, I will never forget.

    Thank you - and here's to a healthy 2011.

    If there is a get together planned, let me know and I'll be there!! 

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  • momand2kids
    momand2kids Member Posts: 1,508
    edited December 2010

    Kerry

    since we share the same dx day, your comments resonated so much with me--while I had my path report before xmas in 2008 (which freaked me out because I read it myself and tried to translate it) I did not know what the decision would be on chemo- and I so clearly remember being so anxious through the whole xmas season=and was so glad to find this website later and find people who could calm me down.  

    I continue to find you and others so helpful--- I hope you don't mind that I come to the stage 3 board-- I have always found this group to be sooo helpful and you seem like such a nice community!!!

    All the best for all of us for 2011! 

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  • BonnieK
    BonnieK Member Posts: 655
    edited December 2010

    Kerry -- Two years and counting to ... maybe 40 or 50!!!  I agree with you that the stage 3 board was a life line after dx. 

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  • YATCOMW
    YATCOMW Member Posts: 664
    edited December 2010

    Kerry....

     Congrats girl!!!

     You've offered so much these past two years.... 

     Jacqueline 

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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited December 2010

    Kerry!  Two years ago?  Wow!  Congrats girlfriend.  I am honored to call you friend.  I mean..really, who else would offer up a room in their home so I can move to Canada.  LOL

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  • everyminute
    everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
    edited December 2010

    Well I would if you want to come to Albany, NY - but why would you want to come to Albany NY?!

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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited December 2010

    Ha, Mary....I hear it's pretty. :)

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  • everyminute
    everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
    edited December 2010

    Cindy - not so bad - you are welcome to check it out any time you want!

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  • kimber3006
    kimber3006 Member Posts: 586
    edited December 2010

    Kerry - I can only echo the others in thanking you for being such a bright light.  When I came here just over a year ago I remember seeing that you were just a year past where I was standing.  I was so scared and so utterly sad, yet you seemed so happy and upbeat.  So I thought, "well, that's what this mess looks like a year from now....I just have to get past this tough bit..."  Here's to you showing me what 50 years out looks like!

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  • AsiaYM
    AsiaYM Member Posts: 2,216
    edited December 2010

    Happy New Year to you!  You have been my angel since June 09.  May God always watch out for you.

    Love, Asia

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  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited December 2010

    Kerry....happy 2 years!!!  wishing you many, many mutliples of 2 years....may live to be a cranky old lady!!! :)

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  • Gabrielle
    Gabrielle Member Posts: 73
    edited December 2010

    Kerry, that was a beautiful post!  I did the same thing when I was diagnosed -- just, devoured any and all stories of survival. 

    Now, I find myself one of the "veterans" at 11 years out.  I had 9 out 21 positive nodes, a 5.2 cm tumor and pathology reports full of "poor prognosis" reports.  I put those reports in a drawer and didn't take them out for years.  I've never deluded myself; I understand what I've got.  But, I take enormous comfort in knowing there are many long-time survivors.  Now, I'm one of them and you will be, too.  Smile

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  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited December 2010

    Well, I have to admit, Kerry, like so many others I look for your posts. I know how scary it is when the path reports are full of dire things and Dr. Google tells you how doomed you are.  Many women here on BC.org gave me hope. It's a gift you really can't get elsewhere.  It has to come from others who are living with the uncertainty.  You have a way of giving comfort and realistic hope.  Very special!  Hugs, G.

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  • mrsnjband
    mrsnjband Member Posts: 1,409
    edited December 2010

    Eventhough I didn't find this place unitl 2 1/2 years after dx, this place has been a tremendous help to me.  I have had many issues to deal with post treatment and this site has been a great resource & many great people here.  I knew I had a tough road ahead but I didn't realize how long after treatment that would be.  But I'm still keepin' on.

    God Bless all here! NJ

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited December 2010

    Wow, time flies.

    I can still remember your avatar when I joined the boards, you had such a strength and confidence in your picture.  You are always a great voice of reason and comfort and I'm glad that we've gotten to know each other.

    Keep on rockin' or in your case running..............

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  • caaclark
    caaclark Member Posts: 936
    edited December 2010

    Yay for 2 years!!!!  Do something to celebrate today!!!!

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited December 2010

    Yay, Kerry! A big hug...make that TWO big hugs!

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  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited December 2010

    Oh my gosh Kerry,

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!  I can say personally you have been such an inspiration and calming voice to me when I've been freaked out in the past.  SOOO happy for you!

    Love,

    Sharon

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  • Beverly11
    Beverly11 Member Posts: 443
    edited December 2010

    Congrats Kerry!  I too consider many of you my dear dear friends.  I had my surgery on Dec 23/08.  My husband was on this site before me and brought my attention to you and Mary and many others.  I curled up in a ball in my bed after my stage 3 pathology report with drains still stiched in me in early Jan/09.  He thought I would click with a number of you and yes he was so right!  We have even run virtual 1/2 marathons together!

    This will always be an emotional time of year for me for many reasons but also a happy time and bco is one of the things I am truly thankful for. 

     Blessings,

    Bev

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  • Jaimieh
    Jaimieh Member Posts: 2,373
    edited December 2010

    Kerry~ I am glad that you found BCO in your quest.  I am sorry that we had to meet because of BC but I am VERY happy to call you my friend.  I look forward to many more years... ((hugs))

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