Does your partner understand your BC?

It seems when I was diagnosed with BC, my husband was very concerned and supportive in every way possible. It was a horrible way to find out, but I think that was truly the first time I realized how *much* my husband needed me.  After 20+ years, that's saying a lot.  

Fast forward to: rads over end of August and some limited rad fatigue and then Femara side effects in September, he's (bottom line) vert tired of me being sick all the time.  My Femara side effects are being addrsessed now in hopes of another AI working better, but the Femara seems to have caused rotator cuff tendinitis or I develped a bad frozen shoulder.  

It's the frozen shoulder or tendinitis and lack of energy that have lingered from what my husband considered the "end" of treatment that bothers him so (the bothersome Femara side effects started November).  He seems to have no compassion and is sincerely tired of me being sick.  On top of my BC, I've suffered for 15 years from very frequent chronic migraines and depression, but I've done my very best with that and people rarely know.  I guess the Femara put me over the edge.  This morning he suggested I get an MRI before the "insurance benefit year" is out so that we're not stuck with the charges next year if one is recommended and also said I should ask for the diagnostic mammo checkup this year, too. I told him, particularly with respect to the mammo and followup bloodwork, I in no way was going to request my "standard of care" dates be changed (followup diagnostic mammo currently scheduled for end of February).  This was his response to my calling him to my side to ask for emotional support in dealing with all this. He sincerely does not want to have a sick wife, but I do not want to *be* a sick wife. We are not in a bad financial way, but not wealthy either, so that was not his concern.  He is "frugal."  It got so mad this morning I felt like asking him to take my Christmas presents back.

A couple weeks ago he called a BC support group hotline because he thought I reacted oddly to different aspects of my illness (i.e. worrying that the frozen should could be a bone mets, etc.).  It was the first time he's ever called this (family) hotline and they set him straight in a way I couldn't. He was very nice for the night, but it didn't last long. To make things worse, his entire family (with the exception of my niece) has no communication with me at all and also did not while I was undergoing treatment.  

I have no surviving family other than my husband and daughter, and I don't share worries with her.  She didn't even take the DX well, and I would never want to burden her with the "little" stuff.  I have a couple people I can occasionally call, but I can never express things to them like I could my husband. It hurts me so badly that he seems to think it's "all over" now and I have no right to ever talk about it. I by NO means overdo it; over the years I've learned to be silent about physical complaints due to the chronicity of my migraines and was even a model BC patient.

Every time I don't feel up to going out or have am not feeling well he seems to get truly mad. Guess he wanted a well wife and didn't get one?  Am I the only one who is having an experience like this?  In his defense, he does *do* things for me, like go to the store, but I'm missing the emotional support and I have literally asked for it, as recent as this morning.