Paranoia about Breast Cancer Returning

RebzAmy
RebzAmy Member Posts: 322
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

Hi ladies

I'm sure this has been discussed before but I need some help, support and ideas of how to get through this.

Everyday now I seem to think about breast cancer and any little niggle, ache, pain, bruise, whatever I think could be breast cancer again - particularly breast cancer that has spread. It petrifies me and I have an almost full panic attack - feel nauseous, faint, heart pounding, loss of appetite etc - I hate living like this - it just won't go away.

Everybody has little niggles and to them it's just a niggle, to me/us it's something much more serious - does this ever go away? It's now 3 1/2 years since I was diagnosed surely I should be getting past this now? But from what I understand we're never 'cured' but are referred to as showing 'no evidence of disease'. That's so hard to live with. OMG having this hanging over my head like this is not nice.  I did have some counselling at one stage do I go for more?

I'm sure that this rings bells with many of you. I'm generally pretty cheerful, positive etc etc but I'm sure finding this hard.

Anybody? Thanks x

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  • cathmg
    cathmg Member Posts: 278
    edited December 2010

    Hi RebzAmy,

    Yes! I hear you about the worry. It seems like a huge burden to live under, and frankly I'm amazed I can handle it at all. I am "wired" for anxiety, and dealt with a clinical depression after my diagnosis and treatment. Lately, with the cold winter weather, I've had a lot of aches and pains. I feel every single one and wonder if it is cancer in my body. I think I worried less a year ago!

    I've decided that I have to do something proactive when I have those thoughts-mainly, exercise, take my Vit. D, or cook something healthy. And enjoy life in the moment.

    Sucky deal we have been dealt, isn't it?

    Cat

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  • Lowrider54
    Lowrider54 Member Posts: 2,721
    edited December 2010

    All I can say is that once I hit the 5 year mark, I did my yearly mammo's with little concern.  You are close to hitting the time when you won't wake up every day with it be the first thought.  But those little things will send you running to doctor and likely the thought will be 'its back' and when you start celebrating that you have streph throat, a UTI or food poisoning, you know the cheerful side of you is coming out again. 

    If it starts to really interfere with your daily activities - that would be the time to consider going for more counseling - maybe an anti-anxiety medication would help.  I was experiencing panic attacks and the heart palapatations sent me into a fit - I spent many years on xanax and that helped me through the feelings you are having - perhaps it might help you.  I went off them for about 2 years then I was dx'd with mets and I am back on them again - powerful little things!  It was 10 1/2 years from initial dx to mets and I was node positive into 5 nodes. 

    That herceptin is some powerful stuff - I am HER2- so wouldn't have helped me a bit.  NED or remission - it is a great thing!  And you can stay that way. 

    Hugs to you....LowRider

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  • RebzAmy
    RebzAmy Member Posts: 322
    edited August 2013

    Thank you Cat and LowRider

    It really does help to know you're not on your own (sadly) as well and it's weird coz I thought I was ok for a while and then I go through what I call 'stages' where it's one thing  after another and after a while I sort of convince myself all is ok. I have a check up with the oncologist next week so hoping he'll help a little although the check ups freak me out. I have valium for those times and I do take something at night before I sleep to help me relax but maybe I need something stronger. LowRider very sorry to hear about your mets. xx

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  • NatsFan
    NatsFan Member Posts: 3,745
    edited December 2010

    Rebz - something that's worked for me.  After driving myself nuts worrying about every ache, I made a deal with myself that I was not going to worry about something unless it persisted for 2 weeks, then at that point I would get it checked out. Not that the ghost of worry doesn't flit by now and then, but by promising myself that I would check out anything that persisted for more than 2 weeks, I was able to relax with the day-to-day aches.  And just about every one of those aches and pains disappears long before the 2 weeks is up.  And I have followed through on my promise to myself and had the doctor check out the few things that have not disappeared - fortunately all so far have turned out to be non-cancer related.

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