I Come to the Garden...

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  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited December 2010

    I HATE WORKING THIS NIGHT JOB.  I'M MISSING IMPORTANT STUFF!

    Meece, Obviously Matt is fine; if he's concentrating on a date he's fine!

    Can you imagine how you'd be feeling right now if you were still working in the H-e-double hockey stick hole place?!?!?!?!

    God is in control & I will say it again....GOD IS IN CONTROL! 

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited December 2010

    I know what you mean, Joni. 

    Barbe, he was actually meeting her at American Village for dinner, coffee and a walk.  I believe him.  Maybe I am naive, but I do.  It's only the second date.  And she is a church goer.

    2 Corinthians 12:9

    But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited December 2010
    Oh, was I inappropriate Meece? I'm so sorry, I was trying for some light humour.....Embarassed
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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited December 2010

    I concur completely.

    If he's focusing on his date, he must be doing pretty well -- all things considered.

    Prayers coming from the frozen state of Ohio.

    xx00xx00xx00xx

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited December 2010

    No, not inappropriate.  I thought it was funny,too.  I am not offended. 

    He is feeling better, but you have to know him to understand that he usually thinks of everyone else first.  He is also a rescuer, he loves to rescue people and pets.  I think he has the hole in his heart because he has stretched it so big.

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  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 4,266
    edited December 2010
    we're all on the same pagewith our prayers, meece.. for you, matt, Dh , all of you...     3jays
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  • KAJDerby
    KAJDerby Member Posts: 310
    edited December 2010

    continuing to pray!  Thank you for the updates!!

    I LOVE Loons!  Especially the way they carry the young on their backs!  Meece, bet your glad you don't have to carry Matt on your back physically!!!!!!!!!

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited December 2010

    If he were physically on my back you probably couldn't see much of me! Wink

    Sometimes I wish I could keep my kids in the safety of a pounch, but that would be really ackward, too.

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  • Jwatrlily
    Jwatrlily Member Posts: 211
    edited December 2010

    Meece, I'm here reading and praying.  This has been quite an ordeal for you and I pray for God to give you everything you need to cope.  Love and prayers for you and Matt both.

    Juanita

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited December 2010

    We have just checked in to our hotel.  I have several things to say but we are heading out in minutes and I wanted to let you know something important.

    I spoke with our sister PauldingMom on our drive.  She didn't answer immediately which had me worried.  Not too long after she called me from her hospital room.  She is back in for another transfusion and has had to be getting fluids this week.  She wanted me to pass on that she is okay and is trying to get healthy enough to be home for Christmas. 

    Please join hands with me as we lift our sister up to Him.  I will most likely check back in here in 4-5 hours.

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited December 2010

    May God's will be done.

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  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 25,634
    edited December 2010

    Thanks for the update Meece.

    ((((LISA))))♥

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  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 25,634
    edited August 2013

    (((LISA)))

    (((Meece)))

    ♥

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited December 2010

    What a day!

    Matt was discharged from the hospital. He is definitely going to be going to Hawaii for his heart AND they are going to have him see a neurologist for a second opinion on his whole stroke history.  This will take place in late January.

    Praise God, from whom all blessing flow!

    We traveled about 7 hours by car to get to Utah for DH's sister's service.  We arrived at our hotel about 15 minutes before the dinner the church put on for th efamily was to begin.  So no time to rest, just unload the suitcases and head out again.  It wasn't too bad.  BIL was very kind and polite to us.  Wish we could say the same for the rest.

    They had a viewing for two hours that we attended so that guests could meet the family.  It was tough on DH, but he made it through fairly well.  I won't get into the details, but his ex came and garnered a lot of attention for herself, and his children treated him sooooooooooooo horribly, I really wanted to leave right then and there.  Please pray for my DH as we go to the funeral and graveside service tomorrow.  Not only is he saying goodbye to his only sister, but he must deal with such painful behavior from his children.  They are adults (26 & 28).  I wish I could drive back home tonight.

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  • chrisct
    chrisct Member Posts: 2,662
    edited August 2013

    Oh Meece, I am so sorry that you are going through all of this.  Will be thinking of you tomorrow, hoping that people can behave the way they should.

      ((((((((((Meece and family)))))))))))

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  • Valjean
    Valjean Member Posts: 1,898
    edited December 2010

    Meecie ~ Sending strength to your DH to make it through tomorrow. So sad.... someday, I imagine, his children will think back & hopefully will regret the way they have treated him in his time of sorrow.

    I will be thinking of you & DH tomorrow. Also, sending prayers & best wishes for your son, Matt. What he is going through... I can feel the ache in your words ~ you will hold him soon.

    (((((Meecie & DH))))) ♥ (((((Matt))))) 

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited December 2010

    Praise for answered prayer for your daughter.  I can imagine that your feet haven't touched the ground yet.

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  • susantm
    susantm Member Posts: 184
    edited December 2010

    Prayers for you and husband, Meece. I am so sorry that family would behave that way.

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  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited December 2010

    I sometimes understand why zealots include self-beatings-it's because they think such impure, unclean thoughts----kinda like me right now after I read your post Meece--I want to wring necks, but unfortunately, that's not good behavior! 

    Father, continue your care and comfort of our nephew Matt & be with Meece at the service of her sister-in-law.  Help Mr. Meece with his grief and cover Meece with your peace that passes understanding. Amen 

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited December 2010

    Meece at those ages, those children will be ashamed of their behaviour later. Their shame will not be as deep as your DH's pain, but hopefully will teach them a life lesson. Someone will say something to them like how nice it must be to see their Dad, but what a sad occassion, and all of a sudden the penny will drop. It's not about THEM it's about HIM and his pain on the loss of his sister.....sigh.

    I'm so glad about the recent decisions on Matt, but he is being held pretty strongly in my prayers until I hear otherwise.

    Good luck today, may the grace of angels overcome you.

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  • chabba
    chabba Member Posts: 5,065
    edited December 2010

    Meece, may you  and your husband be filled with strength and tranquility as you face todays trials.

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  • mumito
    mumito Member Posts: 4,562
    edited December 2010

    ((( Meece , Matt,and P mom))) prayers and hugs from mexico

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  • Jwatrlily
    Jwatrlily Member Posts: 211
    edited December 2010

    Meece, my heart goes out to you, your DH and Matt.  What you will endure today only God knows, but during His knowing, He will comfort you.  My divorced sister's 2 adult children refuse to have anything to do with her for several years now.  She even has an infant grand daughter she's never seen.  Living in her town!  Her ex tried to kill her and the kids blame her saying she drove him to it.  Nothing could be further from the truth, he's just a demented, evil person.  I for one am so glad she is divorced from him.  I feel the worst for her about her kids.  I am a little like Eph3_12, I can think pretty evil thoughts about those kids.  Not enough time or space to go into what they have done to her in the public let alone in private, but believe me, it has been bad. 

    Prayers are working for Matt and I'm so excited about that.

    Paulding Mom has my hugs and prayers, always.  I pray she can be home and with her family on Christmas.  She needs that this year. 

    Hugs everybody,

    Juanita 

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited December 2010

    More praises (Ohhhh how I love this part of the thread).  As of about an hour ago, Lisa is going to be getting out of the hospital.  She must have taken my advice and been a good little patient and done everything that the drs and nurses asked.  Let us continue to lift her up that she may continue her health as Christmas approaches and that she will be able to spend it at home with her family.

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited December 2010

    I am writing this in little chunks because we are trveling on the highway at 75 mph and I never know how well my internet connection will be.

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited December 2010

    Today was a crushing day for DH and one that has my hackles up.  Right now I feel like a mama bear ready to take on all the challengers.

    I know that blood is  thicker than water, but It would be wonderful to be able to wash it away.  So very many instances of purposeful hurt.  And it just sickens me.  I told him I was so sorry and he replied, it just gives me more reason to hate them.  He doesn't hate them, but he is so deeply hurt.  Why are people like that.

    I told him of all the prayers for him today, and he is grateful.  Thank you.

    There will be another full memorial service on Tuesday, so more of the same.  DH said he thought about not going, but many of his friends will be there.

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited December 2010

    ((((((((((((Meece&Mr.Meece&Matt))))))))))))))))

    What sorrow upon sorrow, to participate in such a public demonstration of pain. You & he will survive. That's the truth. Having lived thru a dysfunctional divorce with all of the insanity of a soap opera I know something of the sorrow. My heart goes out to each of you -- in such a challenging time. Support one another.

    All I can say at this time, is that children, even in their adult permutations can genuinely be "brain-washed" and lose all sense of reality & perspective. My prayer will be that you all live long enough to have some resolution to this distraught time. So very difficult. There is something to be said for errecting 'healthy boundaries' to preserve one's own sanity, in the face of the insanity.

    All of which is so much easier said than done. As I have been packing the house up, I came upon a whole drawer of cards and email communications from people who extended their support during my most challenging era. It meant the world to me at the time.

    ((((((((((((PM-Lisa))))))))))))

    Lisa, I'm sending you strength and encouragement -- that the transfusion and infusion of fluids gives you a whole new lease-on-life & that you have your bright sense of humor in tact for the week at hand.

    xx00xx00xx00xx

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited December 2010

    Faithie, I can always count on you for encouraging words.  Thank you so much.

    DH and I went through a class on boundaries  a few years ago so that we could navigate the family waters.

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited August 2013

    Always remember one of my favorite bumper stickers:

    "When all else fails, lower your standards."

    I think in a situation like this, you just have absolutely no expectations that the adult kids will act with any sense of intuitive compassion. Lower your expectations.

    Just keep saying, it could be worse.

    They could be incarcerated.

    They could be..............

    It would be worse if................

    Pretend you're on a reality show & they are writing the dialogue. Then go home and write a best seller. I honestly believe that most people do not get up in the morning and say, "What can I do to seriously cause pain to my __________________ " (fill in the blank: parents.)

    And yet..............

    Be there for one another and let the great divide just be what it is -- without comment or dissection. Just keep saying, "it's a phase." Sorta like teething.

    I remember a professional counselor talking about teenagers saying, "Just act as though they are another species from a different planet." In other words, don't allow your feelings to be effected by their actions or inactions.

    So easy to type from this vantage point.

    Serious hugs to each of you as you navigate such a triple high time. We all want Norman Rockwell families -- especially during this time of Christmas, let alone during the loss of a sibbling. Maybe you can pretend that the Hallmark Movie ending is still in the re-writing phase.

    xx00xx00xx00xx

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  • deborye
    deborye Member Posts: 7,002
    edited December 2010

    ((((((((((Meece and DH)))))))))))) I have been trying to catch up, his children are very disrespectful and immature.  As they get older they probably will regret and feel bad that they acted that way.

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