Motivation

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  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 2,637
    edited December 2010

    Spring yeah to being done with recon.   The problem I run into traveling is I'm usually at a conference and everyone is on the same schedule so we're all fighing over the same machines at the same time.  I've gone to taking yoga DVD's with me since I have my computer anyway.  That works well, but, wouldn't for you if that is what is making the LE act up.  That is a pain in the neck, ugh

  • kfinnigan
    kfinnigan Member Posts: 1,729
    edited December 2010

    Spring, our chiro's must be right!!  Yes, I have to re-learn to stop!!  Have safe travels to NOLA, so excited to get your tattoo and then be done! CONGRATS!!! really happy for you!

    Got on scale at onc visit yesterday, UGH 2 more pounds...called DH and said get your sweats on we are going for a walk after work.  We did 2 miles, it was cold out!  We had to cancel our trip down south, as 2 storms are swirling over our state and will bring tons of rain, so rescheduled for May!!  

    kmmd, good idea on packing your dvd's on trips.  

    Its my oldest DD's 27th birthday today and she's at the end of her 35th week of pregnancy, she's so cute!  Just had lunch with her and we will take her out to dinner (her DH works out of town and gets home tomorrow morning). 

    All is good with me, the onc visit went well.  My estrogen is still WAYYY low FSH level is 76.9 so that is good for me being on Arimidex.  4 months and I see onc again.

    Headed down to the Bay Area tomorrow morning to share younger DD's lunch hour and then our company holiday party is tomorrow night  OOH LA LA!!!! 

  • Springtime
    Springtime Member Posts: 5,355
    edited December 2010

    60 minutes on the eliptical today! 

    Bye for a bit, you gorgeous ladies. I will try to check in from NOLA!!! 

  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 2,637
    edited December 2010

    I posted a portion of this on my chemo group's thread too:

    I'm struggling with the issue of quitting work right now. They were patient at first, but, really need me at 100% productivity and trying to do it is torture. My feet hurt from the neuropathy and my shoulder and chest muscles are so spasmed I have a hard time using that arm, which makes the LE worse. The PT asked if I couldn't stop any physicial activity at work for awhile because she can't get it to heal. As a result I'm in pain all the time and DH and I have no quality of life at home. DH really would like to see me stay home. It is hurting him to see me hurting all of the time. I like my career, the thought of giving it up terrifies me. There really isn't a way to back off and do less and keep my career. Physically things just keep getting worse, so we're wondering if I'm just at a point where I have to accept and realize that my new reality doesn't include the old career. I'm torn, so just keeping plugging ahead and not making a decision. Which isn't helping emotionally or physically.  

     Plus, this group understands how much working out means to me and how much I'm struggling with weight loss.  I came home in such bad shape Fri I struggled to do yoga yesterday and my arm is even worse today.  Feet a little better I can at least walk today (yesterday AM I couldn't bear weight on my right foot the neuropathy was so aggravated).  I promised myself I wouldn't get to a point again where work interfered with my health.  I'm not doing very well with that right now. 

  • Springtime
    Springtime Member Posts: 5,355
    edited December 2010

    Oh Kmmd, this is so sad. Can you go through the process of getting disability from work? At least temporary, based on doctors orders? Then you could have time to see if you could heal. And if not, go the route of permanent disability. Then at least you would be getting a check - you put into your Social Security Disabilty all the years you have worked, it seems to me only fair that you get it now that you need it.

    If $$ is not an issue for your family, I can see not wanting to go through the hassle of this, but there are at least 2 women I know who are so messed up from chemo and pills and rads that they were never able to go back to work, so you are not alone.

    I wonder if you had time off to let your body heal, if you could actually get to a point where you could do some exercise.

    Good luck with your decision. Also, given your chest is spasaming, have you considered a natural tissue recon on that side? Like DIEP? Just a thought. I think I mentioned earlier that when I had the implants out, I felt so good. My body just does not like foreign objects. I know this isn't an easy decision either, but something to consider in the back of your mind.

    Thinking of you, Spring. 

  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 2,637
    edited December 2010

    Thanks Spring, I've been wondering about the implant issue also.  The area the PT wants to work on she said is so close to the implant she can't get to it at times.  I have thought of tissue reconstruction.  If I did it I would probably do a prophy mastectomy on the other side and get them both reconstructed at once.  I'm not quite ready to go through surgery again and lose the other breast, but, I've seriously thought about it. 

  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited August 2013

    kmmd, I'm so sorry that you're struggling with this decision, but from the way you've described it, the choice to stay or go doesn't even seem close to me.  I think bc has taught each of us that health and relationships are what's most important in life, and from your description, your current job has become detrimental to both.   And it doesn't sound like your PT (whom I assume is competent and correct in her assessment) thinks things will get better if you continue as you are. 

    I know finances and the job market and so much more has to go into your thought process, but based on how you've described the situation above, I think it's time to seriously look for an opportunity that will offer better balance and take this daily struggle out of your life.  Being in constant pain is no way to live, and from the way you describe it, you might even be risking worse complications in the future if you continue doing what you are. I know you say there isn't a way to back off or do less, but is there possibly a way to parlay your expertise into something else? 

    I also think Spring has an excellent suggestion about considering Diep recon.  I know how you feel about more surgery.  I've been procrastinating for several months about a much smaller procedure.  But if your pain is related to your recon, then it seems like it could be a very wise investment.

    It just sounds to me like you are hanging on to the image of how your job used to fulfill you, and not really acknowledging all the negatives about where you are with it right now, if that makes sense.  I also read something not too long ago when I was struggling with a similar decision, and it said that sometimes we get caught up in the identity of what we do, and that keeps us from making a change.  But there's nothing less powerful about "having been a whatever" than being it now, if it's no longer the right place for us.   "I'm an actress."  "I was an actress."  See what I mean?  You don't lose the identity.   Deanna

  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 2,637
    edited December 2010

    I can't thank you guys enough for caring enough to be so honest.  DH and I have been mulling it over all night.  You've given me some very good advice.  Giving up our pre breast cancer lives is so darn hard.

  • Springtime
    Springtime Member Posts: 5,355
    edited December 2010

    mulling is good! :)

  • kfinnigan
    kfinnigan Member Posts: 1,729
    edited December 2010

    Just catching up and only have a minute here..kmmd, what a tough struggle - hugs.  Spring and Deanna gave excellent advice and things to think about.  keep us posted, thinking of you...

  • dianenv
    dianenv Member Posts: 241
    edited December 2010

    Oh my goodness, could it rain anymore? I feel sooo water logged!

    I am off for two weeks and loving it.  I am hitting the gym, so that is good.  I went to a party the other night and loved the appetizers so much I skipped dinner. 

    If I don't make it on again for a couple of days, I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!

  • Springtime
    Springtime Member Posts: 5,355
    edited December 2010

    It has been in the low 70's in New Orleans!!! I am done! I have my tattoos! Just need a week or so to heal up from this, and DONE!!! This is our third december in New Orleans for reconstruction! God willing next year we will not be here! (This is a great place, but still!!).

    OK keep moving! Yesterday I did 50 minutes in the hotel gym on a stationary bike. and walking. Today, lots of walking! I can't wear my compression top thing again that I wear during exercise until the tattoos are healed, and GET THIS, NO BRA for a few days!!!! Lord. :O 

  • kfinnigan
    kfinnigan Member Posts: 1,729
    edited December 2010

    You be rockin it Springie!!!  no bra LOL!!  Well how nice is low 70's in New Orleans, sounds like heaven to me!! 

    Diane, we are water logged as well!!  Sick of the rain and wind!!  The Southern California peeps are getting hit hard.

    Merry Christmas all, I won't be checking in much.  Off tomorrow for 4 days, yippee!  Today is our Sacramento/Roseville xmas lunch at a gross grease pit.  I hate it there, always have to scour the menu for some alternate option, plus I brought a banana, apple and orange and almonds....just in case! ;) 

  • Harley44
    Harley44 Member Posts: 5,446
    edited December 2010

    Spring, glad you are done!!  

    I have not been on for awhile.  My dh and I just got back from a 2 week Caribbean cruise, to celebrate our 25th anniversary!  The actual date is Jan. 4th, but we got a really good deal on the 2 week cruise, since it is between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  

    I have been BAD, too....   not even going out for walks...    When we got home a few days ago, it felt like the Arctic Zone!!!!     So, no exercise for me....  :(

    Hope everyone is doing well.

    Merry Christmas everybody!!

    Harley

  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited December 2010

    Merry Christmas to all!  It sounds like some of us have been very good in spite of hectic holiday schedules, and some of us (like me) not so good this week -- at least in terms of exercise.  But it has finally stopped raining here this morning, the sun is out, and I'm off to do some last-minute Christmas shopping.  If I can get a walk in later, I will.  If not, I'm not going to beat myself up over it, but focus on everything that's bright and beautiful and special about the holidays.

    Love & Christmas blessings to you all ~   Deanna

  • Ainm
    Ainm Member Posts: 781
    edited December 2010

    Wishing you all a very Happy Christmas and lots of motivation for 2011!!!

  • Springtime
    Springtime Member Posts: 5,355
    edited December 2010

    Merry Christmas everyone!!! I don't have to work until January! Hoping to get back on the sensible diet and exercise program! Tattoos healing, skin on the rads side not too happy! But I hope in time it will heal up okay...

  • dianenv
    dianenv Member Posts: 241
    edited December 2010

    What a beautiful day!!! I am so blessed to have the support of family and friends.  I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.  diane

  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 2,637
    edited December 2010

    Hope everyone who celebrates it had a good Christmas.  Wow, I've had a little down time the last couple of days so went exploring and looked in on some other threads.  Big Mistake.  Some of the bickering is enough to make you want to cower in a cave.  Particularly the stage III vs lower thread.  Starting to make the Health Care banned threads look warm and fuzzy.  I've found more and more recently I check in with my old chemo group and come here and that is it.  I think I've hit a point when this thread and moving on and rehabilitating myself is my concern.  Reading too much on the other threads just sets me back into perseverating over past bad treatment memories. 

    Stuck to some light lifting today, the exercises my PT wants me doing.  My legs needed a day off.  So, now I'm sitting here really missing that post hard work out buzz. Last night I managed to find a balance with enough lights on I could keep my balance in yoga, but, dark enough to really relax.  Put a fire in the fireplace and did my yoga in front of it.  I think I've found the perfect way to enjoy how early it gets dark now.  I could get addicted to that routine.  

  • sobx
    sobx Member Posts: 435
    edited December 2010

    I hope everyone had a great Christmas. Woke up to rain and then sleet and then snow. Colder tonite so hope my morning trek to work is safe. I did get Xmas day off. Puppy sitting again for a few days.Actually 9 days but who is counting?? They don't like rain or snow.

    My BIL had his surgery and my sister fell on ice and broke her wrist. I think her family is falling a part. My son is heading out to Kansas the 6th for a few weeks. He really misses his future family and I miss them too.

    The past few weeks have been very weird weather wise for the whole country. think spring!!! If I don't get back on here for a few days everyone have a great New Year. (It is hard to type with 2 dogs in my lap)

  • dianenv
    dianenv Member Posts: 241
    edited December 2010

    Happy Monday everyone! Christmas was great here in Las Vegas, no rain!!! kkmd I kind of agree with you, I am moving on and getting past that other stage.  Those groups were very supportive, but this is the only thread I go to now. 

    I started walking again.  I walked six miles yesterday and hope to do the same today.  I so love being off, work just gets in the way of everything. I hope everyone has a great week, go shop some good sales, and a safe and happy New Year's Eve. 

  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 2,637
    edited December 2010

    Wow, 6 miles, good for you Diane.  I did a little light lifting yesterday, paying for it today, the chest and should still really getting to me.  Too much cold and ice here, the walking is happening on the treadmill for sure

  • Springtime
    Springtime Member Posts: 5,355
    edited December 2010

    KMMD, I just go to a few threads too, the ones that uplift me! We all have enough stress without reading threads that cause more!

    Yesterday did Yoga for 1 hour while the snow fell and the birds fed at our feeders. It was great! My tattoos are finally healed enough, so today going to try and get to the gym and also do cardio! We got snow, and there's a winter weather watch for black ice.

    Great walking Diane!  Nice to hear from you Joy! 

  • kfinnigan
    kfinnigan Member Posts: 1,729
    edited December 2010

    kmmd, I hear ya regarding some of the other threads, I don't venture out much.

    Going to chiro after work, he's been really working on this tightness!!  I bought a Groupon for 2 exercise classes, incorporating ballet bar/pilates, so hope to use them when I get this tightness under control.  I'm excited for that!!  Not much exercising...still...enjoying my DD's last couple/few weeks of pregnancy, I'm getting really excited!!  YAY!  MY DH goes back to work (finally) after recuperating for 4 months from his surgeries.  SO, I made a commitment to get back in the game next week!!  no more excuses for moi.Tongue out

  • dianenv
    dianenv Member Posts: 241
    edited December 2010

    Kari it is so hard to believe she is due already!!! It seems like yesterday you shared the wonderful news.  Other people's pregnancys go so fast!!!  LOL

  • CrunchyPoodleMama
    CrunchyPoodleMama Member Posts: 1,220
    edited December 2010

    Hi, girls - may I join the party? (I'm happy to see a lot of familiar faces here already!)

    After being a fitness nut in my 20's, I went for about 6 years in my 30's without much exercise at all. I also gained 50 pounds... blech!! A lot of that was because of depression (which was due to having six pregnancies that all resulted in miscarriage - no living children).

    Something snapped when I was diagnosed with DCIS last year, and I started exercising again... but then fell off the wagon again for a while.

    A few months ago, when I found out that I was going to have to have a mastectomy (after having had a lumpectomy and re-excision), I decided the time was NOW to whip myself back into shape. I started exercising a lot (30-50 minutes of cardio 5 days/week, walking, and strength training) to get ready for surgery and managed to drop 15 pounds.

    My mastectomy was two weeks ago, December 15, and my surgeon yesterday gave me the all-clear to exercise again with no restrictions. I was so excited, I went home and did a Wii work-out game and 15 minutes on Stairmaster (then promptly crashed and slept for 9 hours - LOL).

    I did another Wii work-out + Stairmaster again today, and am already pumped for doing it again tomorrow, for longer... but here's the catch and why I wanted to join this thread: Right now, I am SUPER-motivated. But, I always start out like that, then after a couple of weeks end up missing a couple of days of working out, then slip back into not being motivated to do it.

    I don't want to do that this time! I want to make sure this is a lifelong habit this time.

    So, I thought I'd join this thread and list my motivations:

    • I want to maximize the chances of my staying cancer-free for the rest of my life
    • I want to look slim and attractive for my husband
    • I want to feel great, the way I do when I'm exercising regularly
    • I want to fit into my fabulous size 4 and 6 wardrobe... I have a closet full of beautiful clothes that are going to waste!
    • Most of all, I want to get pregnant and have a healthy, living baby. That's my #1 motivation, to be perfectly honest. I only conceive when I'm exercising (well, not LITERALLY at the same time! LOL), but I want to be healthy enough that this baby has a chance to survive. I want to be a Mommy!!
  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 2,637
    edited December 2010

    Welcome Julia.  Your closet sounds like mine. 

    Kari, getting down to the last 2 weeks is exciting. Have to keep working out, keep the arms strong for lots of baby holding!

  • Springtime
    Springtime Member Posts: 5,355
    edited December 2010

    Oh Julia! Welcome Crunchy! Those are all good goals, visualize those things! We are glad to have you here. 

    Yesterday I did 60 minutes on the eliptical cross-trainer, and then I bounced on the mini-tramp for about 5-6 minutes. I am still trying to get used to this. But I have heard it is really good to clear the lymphs and detox! IT is not right next to the eliptical, so I can't miss it!

    Today, I am doing my weight training routine and Yoga. And, optionally, I will try to do 30 minutes of cardio. 

    Kari, HOW EXCITING!! 2 weeks!! You must feel about to bust, I would! How exciting about your Groupon classes. I got a Groupon recently too for the first time. I did a Canvas on Demand one.

    Keep moving everyone! :) 

  • kfinnigan
    kfinnigan Member Posts: 1,729
    edited December 2010

    Hi All!  Hi Julia/Crunchy!  A new fresh face here!! YAY!

    A good way to stay committed and motivated, at least for me, is to check in here as often as you can, if you say you are going to do it, chances are you will stick to the plan!  Sorry to hear about your miscarriages, how heartbreaking.  Do the docs know why you miscarried (sorry to be so nosy)?  My mom had 3 miscarriages along with 5 of us.  Big hugs to you as you get on with your plan ;)

    My chiro made some progress on me last night!  He said he sees vast improvement in my hip/leg area!!  YAY for that!!  I've really backed off on that stretching I was doing, remember I was pushing to pain?  and power walking at the same time (not literally), I overdid it and strained my tendons.  Had lunch with DD, her OB tried stretching her cervix yesterday, as she's not dilated at all yet, and today her mucous plug came out, so progress on that front!  I'm going to her house after work to hang out and have dinner...hmmm seems all we do is eat when we're together LOL!!  She already went for her walk this afternoon, while I sat on my tushie all day at work.

    Springie, the other Groupon I bought was for a cut/color at a salon, GREAT price!!

    My sister called me last night, the one that just moved to Vegas, her husband wants a divorce!!  UGH 

  • CrunchyPoodleMama
    CrunchyPoodleMama Member Posts: 1,220
    edited December 2010

    OOPS! I typed this last night and apparently went to bed before hitting "submit"! This is for yesterday!

    Thanks for the welcome! I took it easy today since I just had my mx two weeks ago; just 20 minutes on Stairmaster (but intense intervals, so I guess that wasn't really taking it easy!). It feels so good to do some real cardio again!!

    Kari, thanks for the kind words... we had genetic testing done on two of our babies and both of them had a fluke chromosome defect. I've been tested every which way by two fertility specialists and there's nothing "wrong" with me whatsoever, so who knows.

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