It's Hard Isn't It?

Pure
Pure Member Posts: 1,796
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

It's hard hearing about Elizabeth Edwards isn't it...Its so sad when you think about her and her family and what they must be going through. I think about her beautiful daughters and what they must be experiencing.

And then thoughts shift to myself and thinking what if that time happens to me. What if I have to stop treatment. What if I only have 6 years. 

Then I  start going through denial like well she was triple neg at first, and she was stressed beyond belieft, and she was bla bla bla. I try to set myself aprt from her and tell myself all the reasons why I wont end up like her.  If I have 6 years there will be cure.  Bla bla bla..

Everytime it came on the news it brought back the fear. And well it looks like it will be all over the news again today. Since I live in NC very close to where she lives it's all over the local news and I know all my friends want to say something to me but aren't.

Anyway  it's hard... I feel bad that I am focused on my own feelings of fear instead of compassion for her situation.

I feel incredibly sad for her but then I wonder if that is what she wants. Does she want pity or does she want admiration on the way she has handled her situation with such grace. I am going to go with later and admire her strenth and grace and wish her God's speed as she crosses over to a life with the Lord and her son who has been waiting for her in heaven. I am going to be happy for her b-c she pain and suffering is going to end and she will be with the son she lost.

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Comments

  • chinablue
    chinablue Member Posts: 545
    edited August 2013

    Yep, it is hard hearing it.  I went through all the thoughts that you have.  

     Does anyone know her original diagnosis?

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  • KittyDog
    KittyDog Member Posts: 1,079
    edited December 2010

    trying not to think about it.  Thankfully it is not on our news much yet.  I am sure  tonight  it will be.

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  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited December 2010

    I think she was also ER+ not triple neg....I read her first book a couple years ago...she is a classy lady....

    Jen....I live in denial, yet its always in the back of my mind that I could progress at any time....I guess I believe that either it will come back or it won't come back!!!

    I am sad for her children to now only have the memories of their mother....and sad for me that I can no longer cry...a side effect of all the damn meds I have taken since the beast....or have I just repressed so many feelings....but I want and need a big cry and soon!!

    Elizabeth...may your memory be for a blessing

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  • JacquelineG
    JacquelineG Member Posts: 282
    edited December 2010

    Been going through all those thoughts too Pure!

    it really is hard -- i'm so bummed out!

    Jackie

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  • LRM216
    LRM216 Member Posts: 2,115
    edited December 2010

    So very sad and so very fast, but I suppose if it were me, I would want it to be fast as well.  My heart breaks for her younger children - so many years to live without her and I can only imagine how much they will miss her as she always made those children first in her life.  I like to think of her embracing her son right now after so many years of missing him.  May God bless them all.

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  • Texas357
    Texas357 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited December 2010

    Original diagnosis: IDC Stage 3, triple negative.

    Darn, this is so hard!

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  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited December 2010

    was her 2nd Dx ER+....for some reason I thought she was on AI's...but you know it really doesn't matter in the end the actual Dx....she was a classy lady who gave it her all....my thoughts are with her children and hope their cherished memories will bring them peace

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited December 2010

    she was very slightly er pos after it came back...Originally she was triple negative but they still did hormonals. (very slightly er pos)

    Her Doc was Dr Lisa Carrey-who is famous to treating triple neg bc patients.

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  • Maureen813
    Maureen813 Member Posts: 2,893
    edited December 2010

    So sad, may she rest in peace.  Feeling the same way all on this thread are feeling.  Going through active treatment now and thinking is this going to work?  I'm so scared right now I don't know what to do.  I hope her children find peace and love.  Rest in peace sweet Elizabeth and inspiration to everyone

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited December 2010

    Jen,  I think we're all feeling your feelings and it's gotta be so raw for you especially after having your little newborn so recently added to your little family, and living in the same vicinity of where all the local news is.  My prayers are with you and I know you'll get through these hard feelings.  But it's always in the back of all of our minds.

    ((((((((Hugs Jen))))))))

    image

    Barb

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  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited December 2010

    I so admire Elizabeth Edwards' grace and dignity through such a terrible trial along with the indignity of what her husband did.  She wouldn't want anyone's pity.  And, her story just reminds me of how important it is to be THANKFUL for today and to not try to look too far into the future.  She is truly a role model for us all.

    Peace

    Bobbie

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  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited December 2010

    My local paper ran an interview with Mrs. Edwards where she said that one time she was overcome with grief in a local supermarket when she saw Cherry Coke, which was her late son's favorite drink.  She said she would run into the bathroom and take out his picture and talk to anyone who came along about him.  I could fall to my knees with grief for her and everything she's been through, but I can also applaud her strength and grace.

    This might sound farfetched, but I think everyone, including John Edwards, is redeemable, and that he may very well become a strong advocate for cancer research and cures. Let's hope that his foibles may very well spawn miracles!

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  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited December 2010

    It sounds like you need a hug.

    So here is a cyberhug for you!!

    It is always hard hearing of others dying from breast cancer when you have had it yourself. Your  nose is being rubbed in it right now with all the media.

    I know how you feel too.  I should feel bad for her and compassion. And I do. But I also feel sorry for myself and realize it could happen to me. It is a reminder that we all have this fear and it does happen.

    I just wish they wouldn't rub our noses in it. Its heartless and I refuse to watch it.

    HUGS to you.

    Hang in there.

    Wendy  

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